I sincerely apologise for the trauma my necklace caused. However, if you will take some time to think back over our relationship (I know that's hard for you you pig) you will remember that the only reason I had such a necklace was because you crafted for me from the teeth of the enemies you slew with that big sword of yours. Remember when I tried to take it off and hid my bare chest with a poncho? You cried. I don't care if it was our anniversary.
Because of this, I was discharged from the IBDWWGJ (International Beer Drinkers Who Wear Girly Jewellery), lost my position as treasurer and can't afford any more beer.
Because of this,it's over.