Breakup with the person above you!

[Songbird]

Dear DD,

When you told me you were going on a spiritual quest by being voluntarily isolated in a dark, quiet place, I didn't think you meant six months imprisoned in the Pit of Doom! I have needs, and I'm simply not prepared to wait that long to get my jollies. We're through.

Don't call me when you get out.

Songbird

PS- I've left your collection of antique scourges at your mom's house. I think she was less surprised than I was.

[Amelita]

I wish I could handle all your complications, Songbird, but you're just too tangled up and tied down for me to really reach you. You know? I need someone who can be free with me and unrestrained. There's someone out there for you, someone other than me 

Farewell 

[Ephemeral]

Amelita, I wish I could say that I knew you were faithful to me, but those hand prints on the back of your thighs tell me all I need to know. Goodbye!

[Despairs]

You said and I quote " Feel free to experiment dear." To me that meant I could finally test out the destroyer 5000, a death ray to use on those pesky neighbors, always butting into other people's affairs. How the hell was I supposed to know you were talking about exploring kinks? Next time be more specific. I am sorry about the cat, in my defense it tried to kill me. Good-bye.

[Aiden]

DD,

crazy is only fun if it matches the sex...sadly it hasnt.


Dont call me unless its for a booty call.

[Amelita]

I'm so sorry, I can't do this anymore. You're great and all, but I can't be at it 24/7! A woman needs sleep and water!

Don't lose my number, though... 

[Despairs]

I can't take it anymore. I have caught you thrice, cheating on me with my best friend. I forgave you twice, but three strikes and I am out. Have a nice a life and happy birthday.

[Amelita]

 

You said "Babe, I'm all tied up! Go get my best friends!" so... I did.

I've been deceived!

You don't get to break up with me, I am breaking up with you.

Hmph!

[Despairs]

As in go, explain the situation to them so that they can help me. Not go and screw them. I gave you my heart and you ripped it out, cut it into pieces and burned it to ashes. I am done with women and you. Your Birthday gift is in the garage, if you don't like it you can burn it.

[Amelita]

And there you go again, getting yourself into some crazy trouble and expecting me to get you out of it... And getting mad at me when I innocently misunderstand your super vague directions 

We really are done, aren't we.

Keep my gift, maybe you can use it to bribe yourself out of trouble next time

[Despairs]

Bullshit! You are a smart woman with six degrees. I fail to understand how you innocently misunderstood my words. I can't keep or return the gift, so you're stuck with it. Besides, you need it more than me. It was fun while it lasted.

[Amelita]

Well darlin'. Three times side stepping, maybe it wasn't just as fun as you thought.

Ciao!

[Despairs]

You refuse to eat my cooking. Am I that bad of a cook? Also, why do you leave your underwear wherever you please? I found one of them on top of the fridge. Your anger scares me, last time you got angry, you threw a microwave at me. I am sorry, if I stick around any longer I may end up in the graveyard.

[Nowherewoman]

It's not the darkness.  It's not the despair.

It's that you got your despair in my darkness!

Go, and never darken my despair again!

[Zadaris]

Christmas?! You know I celebrate Festivus!

How dare you mock my values! We're through!

[Deamonbane]

I'm afraid I can't date someone whose values I can't mock. We had a good run and I wish you all the best.

[Amelita]

You're just too nice. I can't be the bitchy one all the time. Can you please either be an asshole once in a while or we're done.

...yeah I thought so!

[Kaspider]

Amelita, where have you been? No message, no email, no PM? We're done unless you PM me. We're done. Line in a stone.

[Amelita]

Ugh you're so dependant! I can't breathe with you constantly requiring my attention. PM, email, message... I think it's time for some extended alone time, Kasp.

[Insanityenviesme]

Hi.

Bye.

Poof.

[Merry Gentry]

Dearest Insanity... 
Usually in my relationships I'm the hot n sexy one... you're just a bit too much for me...
I need to be the star of this show.  You're out.  Buh bye.. 

[Despairs]

You want more than I can give. We had some good times though, I will never forget the day I decide to teach how to shoot a revolver and you ended up shooting a damned human, whose time had come. Instead of a head shot, you aimed for the man's family jewel's. I can still hear his screams of agony and see the horrified look on your face. I am also getting tired of you complaining about me coming home at midnight and scaring you while you are sleeping. I will miss you dearly, but it's best if we part ways. 

[Merry Gentry]

Dearest Dark,
     I do care for you.. but the constant gun play is getting old.
You never even put them down!  I need someone I can hold hands with..
You are out Sir.  Please close the door as you go.

[Kaspider]

Dear Merry,

For how long I have been waiting in my bed for you. Waiting for you to open the door and enter. But you're taking too long. And I'm very impatient. For that reason, I am going to go solo in my bed.

[Lovely Complex]

Dear Spider,

Well, it's clear to me of the reason that you haven't been returning my calls. (lol)  Maybe we're just not compatible.