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The Elliquian Herald & Post
Issue 74 (Autumn) ~ August thru October 2017

Wiki Blogs Dicebot

Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 336411 times)

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Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10475 on: August 22, 2016, 02:49:15 AM »
Ah, mon-cherie, our time together was lovely, but alas we must part ways, for you see I am not human and I am not a fan of always dominating a woman twenty-four seven or choking them.

Offline fantasygirl90

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10476 on: August 22, 2016, 01:19:33 PM »
Ah....My Dark....Dark Despairs......

I cannot live in the dark any longer. I must share myself in the light...there are more pleasures in life than those to be found in your basement......I must go now!

Offline Mimetisme

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10477 on: August 22, 2016, 02:02:36 PM »

fantasygirl90, I, I know not how to say this. Beautiful, flawless, exquisite, and perfect. You are the the sun, moon, and stars in my eyes and my heart. I spend every waking moment worshipping you with my time, my words, and my body. Even now, I cannot hate my sweet love. But you forgot to take the trash out, and our pet thought it be oh so welcoming for me to find spread all over our love nest we call home. I am your lover. I am your slave. But I am not your maid! It's over!

Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10478 on: August 22, 2016, 05:40:45 PM »
Me Me...me...me..me! Always about your needs. What about my needs?! Relationships aren't  one way streets. Au revoir mon-cherie.

Offline Mimetisme

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10479 on: August 22, 2016, 06:20:34 PM »

Oh no no, monsieur! You do not break up with moi! It's all about me for one reason, and one reason alone! You snore so loud I can gain no rest! It is over! We are done! *sweet kiss to either cheek, then a wink, she is gone*

Offline Trevino

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10480 on: August 23, 2016, 05:57:45 PM »
*runs as far away as possible, without bothering to say goodbye

Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10481 on: August 23, 2016, 06:04:24 PM »
You have no limbs, or rather they are too short. Can't even shake your hand. Good-bye.

Offline Mimetisme

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10482 on: August 23, 2016, 06:19:40 PM »
*runs as far away as possible, without bothering to say goodbye

That has to be the best breakup ever... thank for the smile and laugh, Trevino.  :-*

Now onto yet another break up... damn I get around
:'(


Adorable, and frightening as you are, we fit like a glove.
I adored you, I was in fear of you, I was in love.
As it turns out, I'm allergic to you, getting all itchy constantly,
So with heavy heart, I say goodbye, to thee.


Offline Stone

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10483 on: August 27, 2016, 02:34:08 PM »
Your rhyming scheme
is far too
simple for my
evolved
tastes. Until you
reach my level of
poetic evolution,
ta!

Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10484 on: August 27, 2016, 02:36:38 PM »
I can't be with someone who manhandles women and men.

Offline Trevino

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10485 on: August 27, 2016, 08:45:14 PM »
I'm blocking you from my Facebook!

Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10486 on: August 27, 2016, 09:04:32 PM »
Your pointy ends keep poking me in the eye, whenever I try to kiss you. Peace!
« Last Edit: August 27, 2016, 10:09:27 PM by Dark Despairs »

Offline Trevino

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10487 on: August 27, 2016, 09:09:14 PM »
The thought of kissing you is revolting...

Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10488 on: August 27, 2016, 10:09:47 PM »
You're no prize either. You don't even have a mouth.

Offline Mimetisme

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10489 on: September 06, 2016, 07:45:16 AM »

It has been fun. It has been real. Though I cannot say it has been real fun. Addio mia breve amore.

Offline bumpyride

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10490 on: September 06, 2016, 08:43:13 AM »
I can definitely say it's not me, it's you.

Offline Trevino

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10491 on: October 08, 2016, 05:43:45 AM »
Piss off!

Online Rummy Tum Tum

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10492 on: October 18, 2016, 03:08:56 AM »
There are just so many stars out there for me to collect, ya know?

Offline Lrrr

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10493 on: October 18, 2016, 11:41:21 AM »
Oh Rummy, promise you'll never leave.  There is so much I love about you, let me count the ways.  The thing sticking out of your mouth that pokes me when we try to kiss.  And the weird skin color from way too much cheap instant tanning goop.  Your 'Elvis on purple velvet painting' vibe.  Your pointy chin and evil eyes.  I just can't get enough of you.

Well ... maybe I can.  In fact, now that I think about it, I probably already have more than enough of you.  Say, any chance you'd be willing to take back some of you that I have?  And please, don't worry about sending me any more of you.  Aunt Phyllis is sending me some strawberry preserves she made herself, so I'm good as far as getting things from other people right now.  How about I let you know if I need any more of you?  Don't worry about calling me, I'll call you, OK?

But I really do love you sort of.  Oh, by the way, how's your brother Dean?  I heard he finished his residency and is still single.  Any chance you could send me his number?  Does he still work out every day to keep those amazing abs he has?

Well, I've bent your ear long enough so I'll let you go.  Oh, and I've unfriended you on Facebook to cut down on how much I have to read ... you know how it is.  And I've blocked you on Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp, Tumblr, Baidu Tieba, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Gab, Google+, YouTube, Viber, and Snapchat.  Just trying to keep my contacts lists organized - I know you can appreciate that.  So ... uh, ... well, bye for now.
« Last Edit: October 18, 2016, 11:42:46 AM by Lrrr »

Offline Mimetisme

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10494 on: October 18, 2016, 11:53:00 AM »

Honestly, you have more followers on Twitter than me. You're not even that interesting now that I really think about it. I can't cope with that. Your having more popularity on the internet than me. So, we're done, I'm leaving this relationship. Just the way it is and has to be. Oh, and I'm taking thirty sum of your followers with me.

Offline Ralhend

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10495 on: October 19, 2016, 03:16:50 AM »
Im so sorry dear, But I found someone else with a longer broom, a pointier hat, and a cooler looking jack o lantern...
Its not me, its you  >:) >:) >:)

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10496 on: November 03, 2016, 04:44:05 PM »
I need more than anonymous letters. I need a pulse pounding, heart rending, gently curvaceous woman.

Sorry!

Online Rummy Tum Tum

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10497 on: November 03, 2016, 04:49:50 PM »
Are you kidding? You wanna know why? Just look at this scar you gave me playing around with that knife. You always did love it more than me. I hope you two are happy together!

Offline Chi

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10498 on: November 05, 2016, 06:19:41 AM »
Making me go bungy jumping I could live with. Dragging me to the top of K2 was an ordeal. Spelunking was creepy as hell and you know I'm afraid of the dark. But making me a Caesar salad and using artificial bacon bits? That was totally unforgivable!

Good-bye you creep!

* Chi stomps off in a huff

Offline Mimetisme

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10499 on: November 05, 2016, 07:07:32 AM »

It was perfect, better than perfect. I thought we truly were destined to be together, forever. Then you had to go and take the only thing I adored more than you. You didn't even take it, you abused it, and ruined it. You destroyed it, and you destroyed us! You know how much time and effort it takes of blending the beeswax pastille, the cremes, the oils, and berries to achieve my signature blue lips! It took me years to perfect! Years! Cry all you want, I won't care after the way you callously betrayed me, us!

Taking my kit and using it to make the wall lickable is just unforgivable!! You and I are done!

Oh, I left the instructions on the fridge for the best way to remove it from the wall. You broke my heart, true. Still, I want no ill to fall upon you. Trust me, you'll want to clean it as soon as possible. Otherwise, it stains the wall, and creates insect infestation. I already saw some on the wall, big and ugly ones too.