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Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 340449 times)

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Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10375 on: June 18, 2016, 03:03:45 PM »
Dear Belle

For the past six and a half years, I have kept a secret from you. I am not a human being, I am a demon with the form of a human. I consume the souls and blood of humans to keep myself alive. Every time I am near you, the urge to drain you grows stronger. I cannot go on like this! I love you too much to kill you. It breaks my heart to end things like this, but it's for the best. Goodbye beautiful. Perhaps we can be together in the afterlife.

Dark Despairs.


Offline Belle33

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10376 on: June 18, 2016, 03:22:06 PM »
Not gonna lie..I'll miss the light saber and our monthly Matrix viewing parties.  We had some good times.  But, you're a red pill guy and I'm a blue pill girl so - we knew this wasn't gonna work out.  May the Force be your spoon.

Offline dblkrose

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10377 on: June 18, 2016, 03:35:30 PM »
To Hell with the Doctors say! I'm can't go on living without you. So let's do it one last time... I'll be Dead in the Morning. So I guess this is good bye.

Offline Belle33

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10378 on: June 18, 2016, 04:56:35 PM »
No No!  [queue the dramatic music]  I can't let you sacrifice yourself for one night of mind blowing sex. [crescendo - lots of violins] I'd never be able to live with myself if you died on top of me. [record scratch] Now, if we're talking about under me... then... perhaps there's room for negotiation.  I mean, we're all gonna die sometime, right?





Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10379 on: June 18, 2016, 05:02:01 PM »
I come home to find you in bed with the next door neighbor, whom is now dead because of you. I will just take his soul and be on my way. I will unfortunately see you when your time arrives. Also, would it kill you to put on some underwear?!

Offline Belle33

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10380 on: June 18, 2016, 05:09:06 PM »
You want me to put undies ON?  Clearly...the magic is gone. You killed it, and not with your scythe.  Goodbye!

Offline Derwaysh

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10381 on: June 18, 2016, 05:13:40 PM »
You broke the tricycle the last time we tried stuff on it and this time Mort's unable to fix it too. Its over! Be gone and let me shed my tears in silence! :'(

Offline Belle33

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10382 on: June 18, 2016, 05:17:52 PM »
Why are you blaming me for that?  You outweigh me by like 50 pounds..AND...I'm the one who said we should move to the stairs!  Ugh!! I know you're a king and all - but you're soooo high maintenance!! I just can't anymore.  We're done.

Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10383 on: June 18, 2016, 05:18:34 PM »
When we got together, we agreed that I would be the only one to go without underwear, due to the fact that I lack sex organs, etc.. That was the only rule in the house. But no, you just had to be free spirited. Do you know what's like to look at you and not be able to touch you?! Living with you is torture!

Offline Derwaysh

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10384 on: June 18, 2016, 05:20:51 PM »
You took away Maurice when you were supposed to to snatch Mort. What is to become of us? Oh I know, kingly prerogative. Its over, honey! Its over! :'( :'( :'(

Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10385 on: June 18, 2016, 05:25:27 PM »
You were in my face, I couldn't see anything. You cost me a soul. You can join him when I come back for you.

Offline Belle33

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10386 on: June 18, 2016, 05:29:35 PM »
Hang on.  You were hanging out with King Julian behind my back?  WTF?!  You know he's my favorite royal.  You KNOW this and yet - you're too ashamed of me to introduce me to your friends.  [weeps]  Go...just...go.

Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10387 on: June 18, 2016, 05:35:46 PM »
But sweetie, I invited you to come and hang out with us, but you were drunk and incoherent. Women are such a pain to deal with.....should have stuck with the lemur, at least he doesn't drink or blame me for something I didn't do.

Offline Belle33

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10388 on: June 18, 2016, 05:46:45 PM »
Don't call me sweetie.  Your endearments make me swoon and forget that we're breaking uuuuup [whines].

Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10389 on: June 18, 2016, 05:50:40 PM »
Until you become lady death, there is no future where you and I are together.

Offline Belle33

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10390 on: June 18, 2016, 05:57:13 PM »
You know, I tried to overlook our religious differences but, I think this is insurmountable.  So... adios Reaps. 

Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10391 on: June 18, 2016, 06:00:57 PM »
You once again fail to realize that I have no religion. I reap souls! Nonetheless good-bye sweet cheeks. I will save you for last. Say hi to grandma for me.

Offline Belle33

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10392 on: June 18, 2016, 06:03:10 PM »
Semantics.  That's the real cause of this breakup.  Se-fucking-mantics!

Offline dblkrose

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10393 on: June 18, 2016, 06:07:28 PM »
Hyphens... I can't stand hyphens!! I'm out!!

Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10394 on: June 18, 2016, 06:10:08 PM »
You always fail to understand me! People seem to think I'm no fun. You can't even drive properly, nearly killed us!

Offline Belle33

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10395 on: June 18, 2016, 06:11:49 PM »
Complain complain complain.  You're the whinest Reaper ever.  Enough already. 

Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10396 on: June 18, 2016, 06:16:42 PM »
I wouldn't whine, if you did something right for once in your life. Need I remind you that everything I touch dies! You and I were never going to last in the end.
« Last Edit: June 18, 2016, 09:09:48 PM by Dark Despairs »

Offline Belle33

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10397 on: June 18, 2016, 06:23:19 PM »
We made it this far without touching each other.  What about our long nights we spent sharing all our secrets...our hopes and dreams?  What about all the sexy times we had, when we got each other off just with our words?  You're throwing everything away when you should be basking in all we had.  Instead, you've ruined everything.  The Devil told me you would not break my heart.  Clearly - he's a liar and so are you.  Get out!

Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10398 on: June 18, 2016, 09:23:46 PM »
I will admit the sexy times as well as sharing out dreams and secrets were wonderful, but I wasn't good enough for you was I? You craved more. The one thing you wanted and I couldn't give you, because it would mean ending you. Perhaps it's best if we go our separate ways. You are one hell of a woman. If only you could have told me that you wanted to see other people instead of going behind my back. I would have welcomed the idea of seeing other people if it made you happy. All you had to do was tell me before hand. I'm sorry, it didn't work out between you and I.

Offline Anesa

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10399 on: June 18, 2016, 09:45:25 PM »
I thought I could make this work, I gave it my best.  But I can no longer stand to have your bony fingers pawing me all the time.  And you smell.   Like dirt.   ::)

Buh bye, Angel of Death!