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Holiday Issue 2016

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Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 289219 times)

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Offline Phantomhive

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10200 on: March 15, 2016, 09:25:24 AM »
Sorry.  I'm into the lady three posts above this one.

No wonder you dont love me any more. Get out and dont come back, you can have the lady four posts above this one. We are so done.

PH

Offline SmokingCamels

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10201 on: March 15, 2016, 09:29:58 AM »
(LOL! PH! I just sent coffee down the wrong pipe thanks to you.)

Sorry, but I have standards...and you don't.

Offline Phantomhive

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10202 on: March 15, 2016, 09:46:44 AM »
(Glad to oblige)

Im the one with standards. YOU sir have no morals.

Offline SmokingCamels

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10203 on: March 17, 2016, 09:38:55 PM »
Morals are overrated.  Besides, I already traded you in for a newer, younger, sexier model.  :D

Offline CottonKitty

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10204 on: March 29, 2016, 03:40:26 AM »
I'm sorry, I've decided to quit cigarettes and take up vaping.

Offline SmokingCamels

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10205 on: March 29, 2016, 04:10:53 AM »
Sorry babe, but I like my girls like I like my cars... a few miles on them.  A brand newbie doesn't do it for me. ;)

Offline Emphatic Enigma

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10206 on: March 29, 2016, 10:07:57 AM »
(I almost spat out my drink reading the comment above. Ouch! ;p)

I can't do this anymore, you're too demanding.

Offline kakihara

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10207 on: March 29, 2016, 10:13:08 AM »
I'm sorry Miss but I need to draw the line at wearing the Riddler costume for you after refusing to wear Harley for me. We're done.

Offline Emphatic Enigma

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10208 on: March 29, 2016, 10:15:03 AM »
Sorry to say Kakihara, but I can't carry on in this relationship. I can't deal with the stress of knowing you want to eat me.

Offline CottonKitty

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10209 on: March 29, 2016, 12:55:10 PM »
I know it hasn't been very long but I just can't seem to get to know you. I need someone who is more open.

Offline kakihara

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10210 on: March 29, 2016, 01:01:13 PM »
I'm sorry but I'm allergic to you so you need to go as I can't be hurt again, we're through.

Offline Lapine

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10211 on: March 29, 2016, 10:19:23 PM »
It's not me, it's you; I can't take the constant sneezing!

Offline ArtemisHighmore

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10212 on: March 29, 2016, 10:30:14 PM »
It's been amazing Lapine, truly it has. But it's after Easter now and I am just not sure I can still be seen with a Bunny. I'm sorry.

Offline CottonKitty

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10213 on: March 29, 2016, 11:10:23 PM »
Darling, it was just supposed to be a fling. I can't wait for your wanderlust to kick in, I guess I'll have to be the one to leave.

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10214 on: April 04, 2016, 04:29:04 PM »
Initially, I thought the stripping off in public was amusing, enchanting even.
Then, at the old people's home when you led the conga... I cannot get the awful vision out of my head.
So I am sorry darling but we are an item no more.

Offline abandoneddolly

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10215 on: April 06, 2016, 09:07:03 PM »
I'm for a bit of knife play as much as the next doll, but its getting a little old. In the bed you pulled out a knife, at dinner, in the bathroom,on the street corner... wait I'm not sure that time it was you, I might have gotten mugged. anyway, I need a bit of variety in my life so this is  over.

Offline Mxyzptlk

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10216 on: April 07, 2016, 01:49:27 AM »
When you started wearing that much mascara, it was over baby.

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10217 on: April 08, 2016, 05:13:14 PM »
We were having fun, we both felt it.

Then you started playing in the lift.
Every, every time you were going up in the goddam lift.
Even when the fireman posted that banning notice because of the fire in our flat, and I accidentally blocked your view.
I will remember you... of course I will.

Offline Mxyzptlk

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10218 on: April 08, 2016, 06:00:23 PM »
You bastard I should have pushed you
off the building after I caught you
with the fire man. Fuck the lift!
You can have your weird obsession
with that knife. It's sooo over.

Offline Chi

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10219 on: April 09, 2016, 07:05:22 PM »
Okay so I could tolerate the fact that you never turned on the fan in the bathroom after taking a dump.
Flossing your teeth with your chest hair? I got used to it.
Chewing with your mouth open wasn't all that bad....

but getting peanut butter in the jelly jar?

We're SO done you ANIMAL!!!!

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10220 on: April 10, 2016, 09:58:22 AM »
You are beautiful, graceful, seductive...

It's just, well, you are bl**dy dangerous!
You don't as much undress as slice yourself free.
And that nightly paddling to go faster is far too cutting for me to survive much longer.

One swish of your blade and our noisy neighbour lost his voice, and head.
Another, and the police officer who called round to investigate was half the man he used to be.

I wish you could just face the truth...
You just didn't get the part in the Zorro movie!
Accept it and move on, and quickly, as I am doing, because the sirens are getting louder.


Offline CottonKitty

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10221 on: April 15, 2016, 09:21:58 PM »
well, you are so good looking and romantic, I would really like to stay but darling, I find that I am simply unsatisfied by the size of your knife.  It's been my experience that most men carry larger blades, so farewell to handsome you and your tiny knife.

Offline TaintedAndDelish

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10222 on: April 17, 2016, 04:41:02 PM »
Dear Cotton Kitty,

It's with the utmost effort that write to you this day. I wish to put to order, several things that have been causing me great distress. The most vexing of which, I shall regretfully save for last - not for the purpose of building tension and climax, but more out of procrastination and a desire to keep these thoughts far at bay for as long as I can. They are bittersweet, I assure you, and tend to leave a bad taste upon the tongue.

The least of the things I wish to address is your lack of interest in my non-tradition desires for which I think you failed to take the time needed to acquire a taste for. Yes, they are different and tend to challenge one's notion of what normal sexuality consists of, but such aversion to fearlessly exploring the mind through non-standard sexual encounter is a bit too mainstream for me. I don't like mainstream; strike one.

With regard to my sneaking into the bedroom with my drinking buddies, nude, shaven clean and covered in blue body paint with large black plastic Easter egg shells over our eyes, I can only explain this as a lack of a sense of humor on your part. We were pretending to be aliens and I thought that you would have been pleased with so many dicks at your disposal, but apparently not. Calling us dicks after I tried to explain this was not very pleasing either. Strike two.

Regarding that game of "Dominant or Submissive Sex with the Person Behind Curtain #2", I really had high hopes for you when you insisted that I be blind folded placed in a stockade before we opened the curtain, but you knew that either winning or losing was not a valid option for me given the contestant you chose to hide there. It was my understanding that you and your girlfriends were playing this game. You said nothing about Youtube and the pool guy - who I'll never be able to look at quite the same way again.

With this, I must conclude our relationship once and for all. Sadly, I actually took a liking to the pool guy after that little stint. I mean, the whole thing about being on display, out of control, bring laughed at and called names, and being made to ... well... Let's just say that I'll never be able to look at Jeff in quite the same way again.

Good bye, and good riddance.

Tainted

( That was not meant as an adjective, that's my name.)

Offline Mxyzptlk

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10223 on: April 18, 2016, 02:24:24 AM »
I'm so far out of your league. I'm in the Majors
and you're just like a little league coach with
questionable images on your computer.

Offline Kouen

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10224 on: April 18, 2016, 03:04:23 AM »
I'm sorry but I need someone who has actual vowels in their name. And true, one could argue that a 'y' could KINDA be like a vowel...but that's just one of the many things that I have found I can't stand about you. I shouldn't need a reference guide on how to pronounce your name kind of like I shouldn't need to give you one on how to be a better lover.
All the best though, I'm sure somewhere in the world there's someone who could probably score higher than you at Scrabble for all the games you played when we were together. Well, you can't sink my Battleship any longer and I'm tired of crying over Gin and Rummy, you heart breaker. You lost your Candyland privileges, I hope you suffer a nasty accident on some Chutes and Ladders. I'd like to say time spent with you was like a Barrel of Monkies...but that would be  a lie.