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The Elliquian Herald & Post
Issue 74 (Autumn) ~ August thru October 2017

Wiki Blogs Dicebot

Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 340552 times)

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Offline Stone

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10150 on: December 17, 2015, 12:03:07 PM »
I'm fine with the tentacles and the slime,
And all that xenobiology studying time
But when you bring your girlfriend home
And tell her to perform
The face hugger with you?
That's not fine.
I gotta draw the line.
Git.

Offline Phantomhive

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10151 on: December 17, 2015, 02:24:32 PM »
Dearest Stone I have to tell ya,

Life was good. Breakfasts in bed were always fun. The sex was great.The vacations were the best because they were with you. But making everything you say poetic? That's become the sore point in our relationship. Everything must rhyme with you. I can't stand it. If you can't talk like a normal person I'm sorry but I must pack and leave you. I will always love you and we will always have Paris.

Regards
P

Offline MrDisclosure

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10152 on: January 03, 2016, 12:51:12 PM »
Dear Phantomhive,

let's be frank: We have never been happy together.

Have a good life,
D

PS: I took the Mustang.

Offline Chi

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10153 on: January 03, 2016, 12:54:48 PM »
I'm sorry but it's not me it's you. You have halitosis, nasty athlete's foot that smells like a dead buzzard, you're clingy, the sex sucked, I couldn't give you head because I've never met anyone who had moss growing in their crotch before. Not only that but your table manners make a pig eating at a slop trough look like it's learned to eat with the Queen.

Really, it's all you babe.

Oh and you can keep the dog, he shits on your side of the bed anyway

Online Swashbuckler

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10154 on: January 03, 2016, 03:57:58 PM »
The allergies!  Good god the allergies!

Plus, you are a little TOO free with those vines, thankyouverymuch...

#noplantsinthewinter

Offline Chi

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10155 on: January 03, 2016, 07:48:36 PM »
I heard what you sailors do on those long voyages at sea, and baby, you've got crabs so bad they're barnacles

Offline Ananym

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10156 on: January 04, 2016, 03:53:36 PM »
It's over.  When I said we could get back to nature this isn't want I was thinking about.

Offline PennySludt

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10157 on: January 04, 2016, 04:09:21 PM »
I heard you wanted to break up with me, so I'm doing it first cuz I don't like getting dumped first! Good luck on your own.

Offline Ananym

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10158 on: January 04, 2016, 04:15:19 PM »
When I first met you, you made me eat bugs.  I should have known from the start that it wasn't going to end well.

Offline Sofia Grace

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10159 on: January 04, 2016, 04:34:13 PM »
You won me over with your prose and ability to make me feel as though I was the only woman in the world. You lost me, because I ain't a fool and I know I'm just a notch in your bedpost. Don't try and play the coach, playa!

gigglesnorts at herself

Offline Ananym

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10160 on: January 04, 2016, 04:38:12 PM »
You were the only one for me and everything was like a dream.  That's when I found out you were coaching all your friends how to be players at the local club.  It's all so clear to me now.  We were just another game to you.

:: heartbroken ::

Offline Chi

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10161 on: January 06, 2016, 04:48:07 PM »
I only dated you so I could steal your snickerdoodle recipe. Now that I've got it I'm outta here.

Sayonara Sweetheart!

Offline Phantomhive

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10162 on: January 06, 2016, 07:47:53 PM »
The first date, great. The sex, great. The food, fantastic. The ignoring my needs, I'm done with. Now I'm gone. I simply just can't ignore your ignorance any longer. See ya later baby.

Offline Chi

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10163 on: January 06, 2016, 07:58:50 PM »
YOu can't make a good cup of Earl Grey to save your life, your scones are like little round bricks, the clotted cream is more like curdled milk. Really for High Tea it's high time I high tailed it outta here

buh-bye

Offline Phantomhive

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10164 on: January 06, 2016, 08:19:37 PM »
Phantomhive: Shows how much she knows about you.

Sebastian: Indeed it is a very good thing she has left the manor. A cup of tea my Lady?

Phantomhive: Yes and your scones also, they are so delightful she doesnt know what she is missing.

Offline CutiebyNight

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10165 on: January 16, 2016, 07:21:39 PM »
I got tired of hearing about how you were one hell of a butler.

I get it! It was really cute the first time. Then you said it after I asked how you managed to drink all three of my vodkas in three days, and you replied with "I'm simply one hell of a butler~"

That is not a response! Who in their right mind talks like that?! It's like you're from a silly anime cartoon or something!

Offline Stone

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10166 on: January 18, 2016, 12:25:46 PM »
I like my women cute at all times of the day. Out you go!

Offline Phantomhive

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10167 on: January 19, 2016, 02:33:05 AM »
I got tired of hearing about how you were one hell of a butler.

I get it! It was really cute the first time. Then you said it after I asked how you managed to drink all three of my vodkas in three days, and you replied with "I'm simply one hell of a butler~"

That is not a response! Who in their right mind talks like that?! It's like you're from a silly anime cartoon or something!

Now where did you get that idea from roflmclao.

I like my women cute at all times of the day. Out you go!

Well I finally figured it out you are cold. 'Stone' cold. People  like you just weren't meant to be loved let alone be in a relationship so I am going to leave you. It was fun while it lasted but there is no fun when all you do is eat, drink, talk, brag, boast and love only yourself.

Stone I am done.

PS I took the dog, the cat, the toaster and the silverware. ALL of it. So have fun replacing what I took, I made sure it would cost you a mint and you will find the silverware, (not the cat or dog) on some auction site being sold.

PPS I Love to hate you baby.

PH

Offline CutiebyNight

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10168 on: January 19, 2016, 04:06:22 PM »
Wait! You were seeing Stone? But I was seeing Stone, that's why he broke up with me!

Ooooooh, we are double done now, Mister!

Offline Phantomhive

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10169 on: January 19, 2016, 11:01:41 PM »
Wait! You were seeing Stone? But I was seeing Stone, that's why he broke up with me!

Ooooooh, we are double done now, Mister!

How about we double team the two timer and then go our separate ways...

You game?

Offline Chi

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10170 on: January 20, 2016, 08:37:29 AM »
The Police are here with the restraining order, have a nice day...  ;D

Offline Phantomhive

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10171 on: January 25, 2016, 02:30:02 PM »
All I ever wanted was to see your beauty without all the mess on your face, I can't live like this any more I need someone I can 'face' and look at their beauty. We dear are done like a burnt Sunday roast.

Have a great life.

PH

Offline Ananym

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10172 on: February 11, 2016, 04:54:24 PM »
Morning, noon and night.  It's always tea with you.  I just want to sleep... and stop posing it's not going to help.  Get out.  I need sleep. 

Offline Stone

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10173 on: February 13, 2016, 12:49:43 PM »
Dude, bro, guy, buddy, pal, what'd I say about using grandma's old chair? Now there ain't nothing left here. Git.

Offline KieraJade

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #10174 on: February 15, 2016, 09:25:03 PM »
Listen, darling....we had a great run! But it's time I moved on. And you moved out. So hand over the keys.