Awkward genitalia terms and laughing at smut scenes

[Degusaurusrex]

I need this laugh. What are some that you find very awkward to write, to find the correct word for?

I laugh / feel weird every time I have to write balls, because in my opinion, there is just no sexy way to say it.

Also, who laughs at reading / writing smut scenes? I laugh my ass off reading or writing ones that are just completely unrealistic. No shame.

BALLS.

[Despairs]

Cock, slang term for penis. Cock, a male chicken or rooster. My mind goes to the latter, when I see it in a story between writers on the site. There is also pussy, slang term referring to the female vagina. Pussy, is a term for a cat, pussycat. again, my mind goes to the latter, whenever I see it. 

[Marumor]

A dramatic reading of Sandra Hill's Rough and Ready. Definitely a NSFW scene.

Enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c36jCk-Cmvs

(Also, to the best of my knowledge, that's not actually in the book. It's still hilarious, though.)

[clonkertink]

Can we add nipple to the list? I have yet to find any good way of referencing nipples in erotic scenes. It's just... not a sexy word.

[Soveliss]

If I play an inexperienced and socially awkward but well educated character having their first (few) time(s), I deliberately go for overly clinical terms specifically for their awkwardness, gradually phasing them out in favor of slang as they get more comfortable and familiar with doing the deed. But it's an intentional stylistic decision to give a glimpse of their mindset, so does it really fit here?

And "chatte" is pretty much the French equivalent to "pussy" in both meanings, interestingly enough.

[Degusaurusrex]

If I play an inexperienced and socially awkward but well educated character having their first (few) time(s), I deliberately go for overly clinical terms specifically for their awkwardness, gradually phasing them out in favor of slang as they get more comfortable and familiar with doing the deed. But it's an intentional stylistic decision to give a glimpse of their mindset, so does it really fit here?

And "chatte" is pretty much the French equivalent to "pussy" in both meanings, interestingly enough.

That makes me curious so apologies if I didnt understand correctly. Is the character using the clinical terms or are you describing the sex scenes with the terms?

I did not know that about chatte either so that is pretty neat.

[Degusaurusrex]

Can we add nipple to the list? I have yet to find any good way of referencing nipples in erotic scenes. It's just... not a sexy word.

It really isn't. I find myself having to power through and use it rather than trying to find some fancy way to describe a body part.

[Soveliss]

That makes me curious so apologies if I didnt understand correctly. Is the character using the clinical terms or are you describing the sex scenes with the terms?

Usually both, as in they've read some anatomy textbook but have no real "hands on" knowledge and to hammer home that sense that they have no idea what they're doing, are trying to remember whatever they've read about and it definitely doesn't feel natural to them, it actually feels "artificial", so clinical terms are just my way of painting the medium.

[Azuresun]

Unless the scene involves bondage, no description of male ejaculation should ever contain the word "ropes". 

[Allure23]

I’ve seen someone refer to their dick as a “pipe”

[jouzinka]

I, for one, prefer the correct anatomy names. It may sound awkward, even out of place, but guys, I can't unsee "the mighty rod of her pleasure" even if I poured bleach into my eyes.

And now neither can you.

[clonkertink]

I, for one, prefer the correct anatomy names. It may sound awkward, even out of place, but guys, I can't unsee "the mighty rod of her pleasure" even if I poured bleach into my eyes.

And now neither can you.

Mighty Rod of Her Pleasure sounds like a legendary D&D item, to go alongside the Rod of Lordly Might

[TheGlyphstone]

I had a fantasy-setting story where the purple prose ran fast, thick, and hilarious. We're talking "massive dwarven siege cannon hammering through the fleshy gates of her castle of feminine delight' grade euphemisms here.

[Nico]

I, for one, prefer the correct anatomy names. It may sound awkward, even out of place, but guys, I can't unsee "the mighty rod of her pleasure" even if I poured bleach into my eyes.

And now neither can you.

Screw you! <3

No, seriously. I am with you there. Correct anatomy is where it is at for me. I mean..I am an adult, I can handle adult terms just fine.

[Sofia Grace]

Oh, man I needed this laugh today.  The words 'prick' and 'twat' have always freaked me out and they always catch me by surprise when someone works them into a post.  I remember one partner referring to their character's genitals as a 'meat stick' and 'man meat'. 

I prefer realistic descriptions of the anatomy (not meat stick, man meat... pipe, etc.) instead of direct anatomy/clinical terms, but that's just me.  Also an adult and can handle the correct terms, but I guess preferences are preferences.  xD

[LunarSage]

https://youtu.be/Jx-hRW_2ePk