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Author Topic: I give up being a Lord. Make me an enigma instead.  (Read 276 times)

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Offline DallasTopic starter

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I give up being a Lord. Make me an enigma instead.
« on: January 30, 2020, 07:47:49 AM »
I request to use my last tag change to Legate. I understand that there are no 'backsies' after this. This was made clear to me. Better to be an enigma than to be seen as just another potential "big bad wolf". Or not be seen at all. This community is not going to change for just one man, so... best to just give up, I suppose.  ::)

Offline AmberStarfire

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Re: I give up being a Lord. Make me an enigma instead.
« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2020, 07:58:52 AM »
Why do you assume people see you that way?

Even if they don't take up a story or drop you a PM, I'm sure many people here have seen your posts. I know I have.

People tend to interact most with their own circle of friends or people who are involved with something they're a part of (online that could be a game, a social thread, etc).

I don't think you'll find changing your tag will make a difference.


Offline DallasTopic starter

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Re: I give up being a Lord. Make me an enigma instead.
« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2020, 08:40:32 AM »
That... is a good question, actually. And it comes with a complicated answer.

I have experienced Elliquiy through two different lenses since I have been here: Lord and Liege.

To be honest, if the option of Legate were available when I requested to join back in 2013? I may have taken it on application, simply for the fact that I originally preferred to be left alone to write stories. The upside to not having that option was that it forced me to be social with the site and make connections. It pressed me to overcome that "just another Lord" feeling to make an impression. So... perhaps I might just want to give up and take (what appears to be) a path of least resistance.

As a Lord, there is this constant feeling like I am going to be summoned to the Principal's Office at any moment. Even when I haven't really caused many undue disruptions since I have been a member. Often, I consider different sides in disputes (whether I am the cause or not). I concede when I feel that I might be wrong. Yet, never truly feel like I am weighed "fairly" as a Lord.

Perhaps changing it won't make that... 'insecurity'(?) of mine vanish? I don't want to cause rifts or splinters in this community. I would rather be a positive influence on the community again, as I once was. I have been doubting my abilities to do that as a Lord/Knight. But it begs the question, what would really change as a Legate?  :-\

Offline DallasTopic starter

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Re: I give up being a Lord. Make me an enigma instead.
« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2020, 08:50:13 AM »
I gave advice to new members that would ask it of me, once. I miss doing that. But the Lord tag sometimes has some ugliness to it. The Pillory doesn't exactly sing songs and praises of us, really, when more Lords seem to be such recurring examples of bad conduct. Meanwhile, there are Lords that are great examples of Elliquiy conduct. I always feel like I fall short of that.

I am not saying that "blood must be paid" or anything. I am just saying that I don't exactly feel like a 'model citizen', if that makes any sense. In truth, I feel more like a hypocrite, than anything.  :-)

Offline Bly

Re: I give up being a Lord. Make me an enigma instead.
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2020, 09:21:24 AM »
I can honestly tell you that your ability to make an impact as a good member here would not be affected by your tag. Be yourself. Do your best. It's all that can be asked of anyone.

As far as the "principal's office"...well, the Pillory's not a good gender indicator, frankly. I'm not going to name names or give you percentages, but suffice to say that gender alone is not going to be something that gets someone a staffly-talking to. People get talking-tos because of their behavior, not because of who they are.

The community's generally always been really good about listening to people if they have a good point worth making regardless of tag.

Are there a few differences in what you see with getting RPs in the tags? Yes. There's some culture difference between the tags, and it tends to show in how RP approaches are made, at least predominantly--that's less about 'tags' though and more about...well, people. That's neither a good or a bad thing; it just...is.

But I'd caution stereotyping the gender tags outright. I can think of several amazing Lords off the top of my head, and every tag has stellar members of the community in it.

If you genuinely want Legate, toss me a PM. That can be done if you're sure. But I'd advise taking a little time to think on it a bit more before you change. It's not something you want to do lightly, but I do know that you know that. I just want to make sure you're doing this because you feel it will improve your experience personally on E, not simply because of insecurity of how you think others are viewing you.
« Last Edit: January 30, 2020, 09:23:45 AM by Bly »

Offline AmberStarfire

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Re: I give up being a Lord. Make me an enigma instead.
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2020, 10:43:12 AM »
I think it's about trust - that staff and people on Elliquiy will treat you fairly regardless of which tag you have.

There's always that thing where some people will only write scenes with certain genders, but apart from that your tag shouldn't be a factor (and I'm sure it wouldn't be re: the rules).

A lot seems to be your perception of the male gender, or people who had and have the Lord or Knight tag. While there are more Lords in the Pillory (which I didn't know until you worked it out), there are also more male members on the site. I'm not sure about lieges, legates etc, but according to the stats page the site has a ratio of 1.3:1 (male to female members).

Anyway I think the important thing is how people behave. You shouldn't have to do anything except enjoy the site and not break the rules. Anything more you want to do to help people is up to you.