OCULUS SINISTER: A Ravnica 5E Game (Looking for For 4-5 Players)

[Pink Professional]

Look. I'm just here to spread the happiness and grace of Mat'Salesyna.

...Don't ask about the Greataxe.

[Bibliophilia]

So....what's with the greataxe?  -munches an apple.-

So, I nearly typed 'munches an asshole', which I blame entirely on CinemaSins, but also is just a hilarious typo to make.

[Rummy Tum Tum]

Bibs! What did I tell you about munching assholes in public?

[Bibliophilia]

Payment up front?

Make sure they're clean first?

[Pink Professional]

So....what's with the greataxe?  -munches an apple.-

So, I nearly typed 'munches an asshole', which I blame entirely on CinemaSins, but also is just a hilarious typo to make.

It's uh...um...uh...Safekeeping. It keeps us safe.

Please, don't eat assholes in public. That's something for the privacy of your own home, or lab I suppose.

[Brittlby]

Payment up front?

Make sure they're clean first?

But most importantly, 12% to the Orzhov... A dirty soul is worse than a dirty asshole, and those who are charitable are the  assholes with the cleanest souls! (And have all their fingers!)

[Bibliophilia]

As long as you pay your tithe, you can munch on all the assholes you like and your sins shall be forgiven.

[evilnerf]

I dont see anywhere in the law books where it specifically says you cant munch assholes.  You are free to much assholes so long as you get consent of all participating parties, at least as far as the Azorius Senate is concerned.

[Bibliophilia]

#AzoriusSezEatAss

[Rummy Tum Tum]

Talk about brown nosing >.>

[evilnerf]

I'm sorry. I'm going to have to write you a ticket.  The books may be lenient on Ass Munching but they are VERY strict when it comes to double entendres.

[Chulanowa]

Others - armor and a haircut

Name: Selvini Dir
Race: Fallen Aasimar
Class: Bard (College of Swords)
Guild: Orzhov (Advokist)

Personality: Selvini is a chipper sort, which maybe some find odd from an Orzhov. But that's the whole point, isn't it? She sees herself as a sort of evangelist. no one wants to hear a glowering, wobble-chinned preacher going on about sin and debt and misery. But a cheerful face and a helpful hand? A good story and, okay sure a few well-intentioned lies? That goes a long way! Oh, certainly she collects coin and wealth for herself, but only because she's providing a service - and it's not like the guild is giving a stipend after all. And the more of that she has, the higher she can climb, and the better-placed she is to do some good. because she is, despite her atypical approach, the worst kind of Syndicalist - a true believer. One only need look around at the beauty that the guild coffers have paid for in Ravnica, one only need look at the opulence of her own family to understand that it's all for the best (never-mind the whole literally cutthroat competition in said family, of course, she's sure that will be sorted out one way or another...) She's not much of a musician or performer (unless one counts sermons) but does enjoy the thrill of a good round of swordplay; finds it arousing in fact, in several applications of hte word.

Bio: Selvini is one of the many scions of the Dir family, well-placed and well-heeled aristocrats long associated with the Orzhov church, far into the city's distant past. Selvini thus grew up in the lap of luxury and comfort. Now, sure that makes her spoiled in some ways of course. But the Dir family isn't known for its filial affections; even being a child was a constant competition for place and prestige among her two siblings and innumerable cousins. Selvini had to be the best just to clear the bar; the best musician, the most courteous, the most agile in blades training, and, of course... the best liar. While she maybe wasn't always the best at the other things, that one she excelled at. And in the Dir family - and the Orzhov as a whole - deceit is what gets you ahead the fastest. She was a natural recruit.

Of course she also had another advantage, one that was unrealized until young adulthood. When an edged blade was "mistakenly" used in fencing training and cut a long furrow in her arm (it would have been her heart if she had been slower, what a tragic accident!) she felt a sudden surge of power; her own wound healed, and her cousin fled the room, his face smoldering. The witnesses were shocked; Selvini had manifested a pair of ghostly, tattered wings from her shoulders and a wave of black energy had washed over Parzan. Selvini, as it turned out, was one of the few members of hte Dir family through history with a true tie to the family's ancient angelic protector and advocate, the pontiff Azvera.

Such a boon could only draw attention or envy, and it certainly did. Cousin Parzan hates her for what she did to his face (he wears a golden mask now) and unfortunately, has the ears of several conservative members of the guild, spreading word of Selvini's supposed "unpredictability" and such. On the other hand, Karvol Simesh seems very interested in her for his own projects and goals - and who is she to say no to one of the most famed (even if long-deceased) members of the family?

Contacts:
• Parzan Dir is Selvini's older cousin, who sees his own success threatened by her. After a botched assassination attempt against her, she ruined his face, but not his reputation; he continues to hold the ear of sevral figures in the guild and is a family favorite.
• Arrester Kel Azneov is a hard-bitten, sharp-eyed Vedalken man who's been keeping tabs on the Dir family for decades on behalf of the Azorius Senate. He and Zelvini have met on occasion and while he likes her on a personal level, he doesn't trust her, and she returns the sentiments.
• Down in Precinct Four is where you can find Ranav Kludgefoot, a giantess who has taken a strong liking to Selvini. Selvini's pretty sure that it's due to her own evangelism, plus the time she got all charges dropped on Ranav's brother Thrunn, but it's more that the giantess has a thing for smaller women.

[Bibliophilia]

What do the oligarch's call eating ass?

Channeling the dead...

[Chulanowa]

What do the oligarch's call eating ass?

Channeling the dead...

Let's all be glad there's no Rakdos involved in this conversation, s'all I'mma say.

[evilnerf]

• Arrester Kel Azneov is a hard-bitten, sharp-eyed Vedalken man who's been keeping tabs on the Dir family for decades on behalf of the Azorius Senate. He and Zelvini have met on occasion and while he likes her on a personal level, he doesn't trust her, and she returns the sentiments.

This character is pretty similar to either of the contacts my character has.  If we both end up in the game, what you say about me changing one of mine to match yours and give our characters that shared connection?

[Chulanowa]

This character is pretty similar to either of the contacts my character has.  If we both end up in the game, what you say about me changing one of mine to match yours and give our characters that shared connection?

I'd be down!

[Rummy Tum Tum]

I'm sorry. I'm going to have to write you a ticket.  The books may be lenient on Ass Munching but they are VERY strict when it comes to double entendres.

Worth.

What do the oligarch's call eating ass?

Channeling the dead...

So that's how our clerics' magic works o.o

[Pink Professional]

What do the oligarch's call eating ass?

Beseeching the Buried? Going down on the damned? Rimming the Bones?

Oooh, oooh, Lip-service to the Lord!

(AlsoI'veActuallyFinishedKozim'sContactsNow. Far less important than puns.)

[Brittlby]

For the sake of clarity, I told Pink to feel free to roll Kozim’s contacts so they could applied to his backstory. If anyone else wants to go that route, feel free OR I can do the heavy lifting and roll for you! (And surprise you with your rival later. Lol)

Depends on if you’re the type that waits till Christmas morning or peeked in the packages while your parents were EggNog drunk.

[Bibliophilia]

I rolled mine, but haven't fleshed them out.  I figured I'd leave that up to you, Brit, if I get in.

[Geeklet]

I never actually rolled mine, just picked some things that looked fun, interesting, and could potentially bring drama. Hope that was okay?

[Brittlby]

I never actually rolled mine, just picked some things that looked fun, interesting, and could potentially bring drama. Hope that was okay?

I don’t see why that would be a problem either! I want everyone “set up to succeed” and happy with their character.

[Rummy Tum Tum]

Ooh! I love surprises 

[Isengrad]

Name: Novak
Race: Simic Hybrid(human base)
Alignment: Neutral Good
Class: Monk
Subclass: Way of the Kensei
Guild: Simic Combine
Renown: 1, Guardian program

Personality: Novak can come off as rude at times, willing to say what others are not. To lay the truth bare and let the rest of the world figure out what to do from there (A trait which has gotten him a few punches in the face). This tendency to strip away the tip toe and fancy words that others use to soften a blow does not net him a lot of friends, makes those that he get's much more valuable, a lesson he learned well growing up. He was always a believer of repaying his debts, and even when he had to steal to survive he found a way to repay the person later. as a child of the streets he was often without, and even a single gold peice represented a fortune for him, a trait that has followed him into adulthood with its sirens call at times. In the end the Combine taught him one of the more valuable lessons, all things seek to improve their station, either by physical adaptation or political and economic growth..and insight that has proven invaluable at times.

History:
Novak started his life as a simple human child, ask him of his parents and he will respond simply that he never had any, at least none that he could remember. Novak himself grew up on the streets of Ravnica, crawling through the alleys and gutters of the City of Guilds since the age of five. He had to steal, and run from the various guild countless times and his greatest ally was the knowledge of the city, its little secret passageways, the beat and thrum of the crowds, it's very heartbeat at times. he was well into his teens, still on the streets and doing his best to survive when he finally tried something to ambitious even for him. Spotted trying to steal from a High ranking member of the Simic Combine he was captured and offered a choice, volunteer fro the guardian Project, or face justice at the hands of the Senate. The heavy implication that extra charges would be added helped him make the right choice.

Thus began his life at the combine, and as a guinea pig for the deranged scientists that used his body as they wished, altering his body and genes with magics until they laid the groundwork for a powerful foot solider. It was there he was given to the Deepsage, there they taught him of the philosophy of the combine, of the Holdfast and The Upwelling and all that entailed. He was trained in a manner that took advantage of his natural quickness and cleverness, and though he honed his body into a weapon he was still partial to the feel of steel in his hand. He is an anomaly among their ranks, a martial artist that perused the mastery of weapons.

When he became an adult he was allowed to step from the new home in the Simic ecosystem, assigned as a bodyguard to Reserchers as they explored creatures and ecosystems outside of the Zonots of the Combine.. the frist time he was allowed back into the City he loved, the city he grew up in. Even he was acquainted with Orator Radu, if for no other reason that he once shared a drink with him at the Madolin when the Hybrid had a couple gold he wanted to use on something special. So when the old Luxodon passed he was along the sides, hidden in an alcove that few would look at as he watched the procession. He had learned enough that an event like this could shake the foundations of the city, and it was hard not to believe the Adaptationists that funded his creation, that war between the guilds was inevitable without the living Guildpact. Fate would find him in the mandolin once again at the end of that day, nursing an Ale in one hand and an unsealed letter in the other.

Contacts: The Simic contacts are almost all assuming that the PC is a Researcher rather than an experiment. I would love it if you handled this if I'm chosen. Maybe use it as a plot device to push the story forward if needed.

[Chulanowa]

And there we go, Selvini is complete; A sword-swinging skill-savvy smooth-talking sexy semi-celestial!