"Come on brain," I whisper to myself, "that is what you are here for. Too come up with things and to pull the bacon out of the fire." I hear a thunk, chunk and some clinks. Okay last time there was none of that, there was just a click and then a really fast BANG! BANG! BANG! Something is up. Curiosity piqued I climb up to the top of the Boulder and see... What is that thing?!?!
Last time it was something like a machine gun or something. Small and handheld. Whatever Beanie has now was not that. Far from that. Not even in the same ballpark as that.
I flip around and fall to the ground, landing on my feet of course. Ten point landing, well two, no three including my tail but that didn't matter. Not with whatever Beanie was fiddling with. If it was only a fiddle. I mean it was like this and like that. It had stuff that looked like they did nasty things. Things that made shooting the cute and adorable easier. It looked like it could shoot hippos out of it and I didn't want to get shot by a hippo. Even a baby hippo, even if those are cute, a baby hippo to the body would hurt.
But? I scurry back up to top of the boulder and peek. Okay this doesn't make any sense, whatever this thing is came from a guitar case and yeah it was bigger. Not by a little by a lot. Unless Beanie was an expert on storage or some weird origami thing, there was no way. But there it was. Big and painful, certified to create an ow. Not owl as in hoot hoot, ow is in this hurts a lot.
KERCHUNK!
Kerchunks are never good. Oh my monkey it is getting bigger. How? This is just getting ridiculous, no one needs something as big as that. What is the saying again? It doesn't matter how big something is, it just matters how you use it. Looking at what I am seeing, I am starting to doubt it. Of course this could just be for show, maybe this thing shoots bubbles. Big ones but still shoots them. Pull trigger and BLOOP.
KERCHUNK!
This is getting ridiculous, too many Kerchunks even for a bubble gun. Quickly I scurry up to the top of the Boulder, "Hey Beanie!" I yell out and I see Beanie pause and look at me. Throwing a hand up to point at the big thing in an exaggerated way, "What is that?"
Beanie didn't respond, he just turned around and continued to assemble the big thing. Did he just attach a chameleon to it? That isn't good, hooking a chameleon to something takes it to the next level. Not that level you are thinking but the next one up. Do you remember the cookie jar that is just out of reach and no matter how much you stretch you can't get to, that level! Colorful too, but that isn't important. Well not really, okay sort of maybe it is. I mean different color bubbles would be cool.
"Oh come.... You can tell me, I promise I won't tell anyone."
Beanie just shoots me a look as he attaches something else. Then walks down the length of the whatever it is, grabs some handles.
*Warning! Warning! Warning!*
I hear the machine thingie start to hum at just the right pitch. Moments later, I see the end of the machine start to glow and light blips start to form. Oh and light streaks now too. No bubbles yet though. *mental sad face*
My head automatically follows the barrel as it moves, mesmerized by the prettiness. Wow Beanie is giving me a good view now. The blips, streaks and everything else is so pretty.
I feel something tapping my shoulder, "What?" I ask without taking my eyes off the pretty. I feel another tap on my shoulder, more urgent now. "What?" Suddenly my tail appears in front of me snapping its thumb, which is impressive since it doesn't have a thumb. The snapping of a non-thumb wakes me up as the tail points in the direction of the blips, streaks and stuff.
Suddenly I feel an ice cube race down my spin when I realize that the machine is pointing right at me and is humming louder and louder.
Looking down the machine I see Beanie looking at me, without blinking. A wicked glitter in his eyes, not due to the machine though. The machine quickly starts to get louder and louder as more blips and streaks start to appear.
EEP, not good!
******
I freeze in place once I hear the click, not that I have anything against clicks. I am not a clickist. I just have a bad feeling about the machine now with all of its light blips and streaks, no matter how good it can keep a tune with its hum, it is up to no good. Of course I stumble a little when my tail bumps into me, it wasn't paying attention and thought I was still moving.
Okay I need to think of something.
Change into something? Something fast and get out of here leaving an 'I was just here' cloud behind. Maybe but can I outrun a light blip or streak. Streaks are probably really fast since they are streaking around. Something really small and hope the whatever the machine does shoots over my head. You must be this small for whatever the machine over there does to shoot over your head. If you are are too big, you might not be soon. Something armored? I can imagine light blips have a way around armor. Just a 'look I am here, was that suppose to stop me?' Sort of thing.
The only thing is, is to transform I will have to strip down and there is no where to do that in private. That is all I need is for someone to snap a photo or a dozen of me naked. Moments later I would be on the front of all of the tabloids with titles like, 'Monkey is going back to nature', 'Look it is a full moon!', 'We flipped a coin and tails it is!' or 'It looks like Monkey has gained some weight. The scandalous photos inside!' What? I haven't gained any weight. *look around* The photos were retouched, they added the weight. Let me see the photos, ppfftt that isn't me, that is a baby hippo with a Whig and a tail taped to its butt. You can tell here and here.
Then....turn to look up into the sky, the spy satellites. I hear they have really good cameras on them now and can read the newspaper that you are reading. Which is rude actually, looking over your shoulder to read the paper. You would get this strange feeling, look around and see nothing. The satellite would clip out the coupons as your read it and use its laser to finish the crossword puzzle. No manners. I can just imagine as I started to slip off my clothes all of the satellites gathering right above me trying to snap a photo, blocking out the sun. *Shiver* Creepy peeping tom satellites, I see you looking at me, well not really but still you are probably up there or aliens.
Let me check the Boy Scout manual it has had everything else in it. Lick finger and start flipping. FLIP! FLIP! How to hide behind a Boulder. I can do that. FLIP! FLIP! FLIP! How to give a porcupine a bath. Why would anyone want to? Can't they give themselves a bath? Maybe the bar of soap would get stuck on their quills if they do it themselves. FLIP! How to tell a storm cloud from a regular cloud. Useless, rain and lightening duh! FLIP! FLIP! FLIP! FLIP and FLIP! How to escape from a mysterious machine that has a lot of Kerchunks and now has light blips and streaks. Look to part two if it is humming. Pretty specific there but hey I am not complaining.
Whip out imaginary reading glasses and start to read page. Interesting.....'We have discovered that light blips and streaks are not good signs when humming can be heard. While the steaks or blips are not poisonous, which is good, coupled with the hum it usually means an energy style attack is about to occur. Such attacks usually hurt and no matter how much Bactine is used after the attack, it will hurt a lot. Screaming and yelling will occur during the attack and more than likely after too but that is part of the energy style attack so that should be expected. Also lose of limb, that is an unfortunate side effect of energy attacks. They sort of just vaporize or burn off whatever they hit, not caring that you or someone else might like or need whatever was just there and now isn't. How to defend against it, well hmmm.... Maybe a mirror but that might only reflect however big the mirror is, attack back. That is about a fifty fifty percent chance though. Oh and remember those fingers holding the mirror, they might be gone too after seeing the light. What we are trying to say is don't get hit by anything with light blips and streaks that hums. It won't be fun.' Great....
*mentally rub the bridge of my nose as I put the manual away*
Okay the short list of things to do getting shorter, really short since I don't want to get hit by it. Need to think and think fast since the glow is becoming brighter and the blips & streaks are making their way around the Boulder. The hum is nice though.
Need to think. I can't let the banana milkshake go to waste.
Think!
Hey that is a pretty cloud it looks like a ....... Wrong type of thinking.
Focus and think.
*Idea bulb boink* BOINK!
******
Now is not the time for me to explain my idea, not with the machine pointing at me with the light blipping and streaking. That and I am not a villain so that rule and others don't pertain to me since I am a hero. *fists to hips and proud stance with a bright light behind me and jets flying overhead. Heroic Ha! Ha!* The rule books are kept separate, the villain one way over there and the hero one right here. Let me flip through it real fast, yeah no rule for explaining ones idea out when caught in a situation. It just says, 'Save your bacon!'
Oh shoot I need to stop doing what I just did, I can do it later though but the light blips and streaks are getting more blippy and streaky. The hum is getting louder too! Huh what did you say? I need to do my idea? That is what I am planning on doing.
I switch hats from professor to ninja and in one fluid move throw my hand down. *imaginary ninja smoke bomb* In a nonpoof of ninja smoke I disappear, which is kind of hard to do if you are really cute and adorable. People just like looking at that stuff, not my fault.
I stand there invisible and preparing myself, quickly though remember the blips and streaks, to tiptoe around and do the 'save my tail' technique. Which always works by the way, especially if you are invisible and stay quiet. No smashing your toes against anything.
Right when I am about to go all stealth I realize something, I am invisible and the keywords are 'I am' as in not my clothes. Which sort of makes the whole invisible and stealth things sort of blah. I mean others could easily see me and point, "Get the clothes!" At that point, I would have to take off like a monkey after a banana and run. Which would probably lead to tripping and falling since I couldn't see my feet.
"Ugh!" I say as I drop my shoulders. You and you turn around so I can take my clothes off in private. No photos either. Yeah I know I am invisible and all you will see is clothes but still, how do I know you don't have one of those thermal can see everything no matter what goggles. I am not an exhibitionist and I am not putting on a show. That is for other girls not me. Turn, I said turn around and stop peeking.
I point to the sky, "You too satellites and weird aliens. I am not putting on a peep show." I motion with an invisible hand for them to turn around,"Turn!"
Waiting for a moment, but not to long because of the blips and streaks, I start to take off my clothes and in moments I am naked as an invisible naked monkey girl. Invisibly censored of course, just in case. Standing there I shiver as a cold wind blows across the landscape. Why couldn't it be warm? I might catch an invisible cold and those are the worse. Cold medicine and doctors can't see them so you remain sick longer.
Quickly I fold my clothes and press them against my chest, a little fit of giggles hitting me. KERSPLAT! Giggle Giggle Giggle. Fun things pop into my mind as I take off. At the right second too, *whew* light blips and streaks filling the air behind me. Taking out the stone and some of the ground and some boulders over there and maybe part of that sheep.
Hiding my clothes behind a small Boulder, about this high, I put a rock on top of them to keep any leprechauns from taking them then do a dramatic spin and point and hey there was pigeons too. Invisible ones, so you couldn't see them. In fact there goes one now. Invisibly point to space in empty air.
*stealth mental giggle*
((Ohhhh a cliffhanger now you will have to come back to see what happens next.))