Topic: Tails of Monkey - Adventure awaits!

[Catherine]

AIf I took a moment and looked behind me I would have seen the grass wilting and everything from Beanie's stare, leaving a perfectly formed silhouette of me in the grass. Of course if I looked behind me, that means I took my attention away from Beanie and would have ended with a bang.

I can tell he is bean pissed for playing playing baseball with his bullets, which lead to one of his guns being knocked out of his hand and landing back in a violin case. I am still not sure how that happens all the time or even part of the time. It just happens. Gun goes flying and there is the case to catch it.

You know what would be interesting to see? An indie style flashback movie on what made Beanie, Beanie. It would be interesting to see where the whole mariachi thing came from. Maybe one crashed through a window one night when he was sitting there looking for a sign, I have heard others do that and everything. That doesn't explain the bean thing though. *mental head scratch* You know what, I gave a moment or two and that would give me a.moment away from 'the look'. Let's do it, I think I can scrounge up some popcorn.

SLURP!

Oh and don't forget the banana milkshake. Can't forget that. Roll of film! Shhh shh be quiet the lights will go down and the opening credits will start any moment now. So excited. Hopefully they have a short before the movie, I always love those.

"Let's go to the movies. Let's go to the movies," I start to him to myself. What? There is no indie style flashback movie? Drat! Fine let's get back to the now. *mental humph*


******

I don't know if it is honor thing or Beanie just won't shoot a person while they are daydreaming, but I had no new holes in me. Which is a good thing, since I hate waking up and finding new holes in me.

You see there  was that one time when I was at the mall with my mom, I was really young, I was having a lot of fun and passed out. When I woke up, my ears were throbbing and I had two new holes in my ears. I scowled at my mom the rest of the day but I got ice cream, so win win. That was the last time I fell asleep at the mall with my mom though. The last time!

In the blink of an eye Beanie has the gun up and pointing at me, I look behind me to make sure he isn't pointing at someone or something else though. Just in case, you know maybe Beanie was protecting me from someone type of monster sneaking behind me and unless it was invisible, he wasn't. 

I look back one more time, putting my finger up to tell Beanie to give me a moment, to see if there is anything invisible. Any odd distortions like the heat thingie on concrete? No. Any double image thing? Those flowers over there look a little doubled, but....no. There is a bee on one and not on the other. Lastly floating pixels. Unless I am in some type of video game and I don't see any health bars or hearts floating about, it would be a sure sign of digital stealthiness, well with a bad pixel. Easy to spot too. Look a floating pixel, that is not seen in nature. Get it! That is why I don't think you see to many pixels floating about, people would hunt them down. Get them stuffed and put them on the wall. That one was a fighter, it sat there and blinked.

I see no odd signs of invisibility, especially no foot prints in the sand since there is no sand. As I turn around I hear a click, a click that means one thing and I flip out of where I was, of course I do a little spin. Not for style, well if definitely did add some, but so I could actually be looking at Beanie and not blindly dodging things. Especially things that are metal and will hurt.

I can hear the gun firing so I keep flipping, but not in a straight line which makes it more difficult for the both of us. BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Isn't his finger getting tired? BANG! BANG! BANG! I am going to urp if I don't stop flipping soon. BANG! BANG! THUMP!

The THUMP! was me meeting a large boulder that was stinking out of the ground in a place that it shouldn't have been. It should have been over there with the other boulders, but no it is a loner and has to go it alone. I flip, smack and ow!

A bullets pings of the boulder next to me as I shake my head, another pings to the other side of me. I grab Boulder and flip over it, resting my back against it to bring my URP level down to a safe level.

"Want to call It a tie?" I yell back over the boulder to Beanie, moments later I get an answer as a bullet zips by. Then everything goes quiet, curious I peek over the Boulder and see Beanie reaching for his guitar case.

GULP! This isn't good. Need to think. *Mentally rubbing head trying to free up thoughts that are stuck at the moment.*

*****

*** We interrupt this story for something holidayish or just something something. ***


I didn't think this could actually happen, those things over there. *point* With the blank stares and mouths open, wondering around aimlessly. Yeah they show them in movies but come on. Who would have thought? You see that is it, they are in the movies and everything but I should have known really. Hollywood can't come up with anything original know-a-days, they probably saw a couple wandering about some movie backlot one day and thought 'Why not?!?!'

"Hey get back. Getting into my personal space here. So please step back."

When the reports first started coming in, people thought they were some hippies taking it one step too far. I mean *sniff* eeww, they do smell and that might be how hippies smell. How should I explain the not so fragrant smell to you. Okay one word 'blah!'

"I said personal space. Let me mark it on the ground for you so you know. In yellow  which is the 'this is my personal space' color crayon." *draw circle that is just big enough for personal space and point* "This is my personal space, so please respect it."

Anyways back to the hippie thing. Everyone thought it was hippies until they started munching on people, which I hear you do get the munchies if you are a hippy but I am not sure why. There was no "Peace man" or "Give love a chance", there was just munch. Which cuts straight to the point and isn't to hippie like. Although if you think about it is is hippy. Sorry bad joke and play on words.

"Hey what are you doing with your feet? Stop trying to rub out the chalk line. That is there for your knowledge and if you rub it out you will forget."

Then more started to show up. Where they were coming from no one knew, but we could tell they were good with math since they multiplied quickly.

"I said stop that! Read my shirt." *point and slowly spin* 'No noming the monkey. She wouldn't like that and really she isn't that tasty. In fact she doesn't taste like chicken and you shouldn't even try finding out if she does or doesn't. That and she doesn't like teeth massages so please turn around and find someone else to teeth massage. Like maybe that person way over there. Not that one, that other one. I would point but I am only a shirt so I don't have hands. Just trust me, he or she is way over there and is looking forward to a teeth massage. So just head in that direction and you two will meet. Nom in first sight sort of thing. Go ahead and go. I don't want to keep you.'

"If it is on a shirt it must be true so you can just stop rubbing the circle with your foot. So you can just stop.

Hey, Where did you come from? Didn't your friend tell you about the circle? Hey stop trying to nom my head. It doesn't tickle or feel good. I said stop."

POP! Goes the monkey girls head out of the mouth.

"Eew! Your breath stinks. You should consider breath mints. That and when was the last time you brushed your teeth? Have you considered flossing? I mean I think I felt something small kicking my head, a squirrel maybe.

Hey stop! I thought I told you to watch my personal space. Now get back. Both of you and your friends can stop looking at me with these blank stare hungry eyes. I said stop it, I am not nommable.

I saw you licking your lips, right before they fell off, which is gross. You really need to get that looked at, it isn't  normal. They look like little slugs sitting there. Someone is going to slip on them and get hurt. Don't you care about your friends?"

*shake head* No respect for others in the undead, I guess.

"I guess we have come to an impasse, I don't wanted nomed and munched and you do. So we have to...Hey what is that over there?!?!?" Exaggerated point in a direction other than mine.

 * ninja art of the distraction that saves my tail*

When the zombies turn back around they will see one of those Ching Ching monkey dolls with the cymbals and everything. Shhh..... Don't tell them. It will be fun to see the look of confusion in their blank stares from a safe distance. Like way over there and I don't want to ruin their surprise. So shhh...

*ninja sneak away without a puff of smoke technique*

*** Now back to the story. CLICk! Oh and Happy Belated Halloween. ANOTHER CLICK!**

((Yeah That last part is a little late but I am sure there is some Halloween candy somewhere...))

[Catherine]

"Come on brain," I whisper to myself, "that is what you are here for. Too come up with things and to pull the bacon out of the fire." I hear a thunk, chunk and some clinks. Okay last time there was none of that, there was just a click and then a really fast BANG! BANG! BANG! Something is up. Curiosity piqued I climb up to the top of the Boulder and see... What is that thing?!?!

Last time it was something like a machine gun or something. Small and handheld. Whatever Beanie has  now was not that. Far from that. Not even in the same ballpark as that.

I flip around and fall to the ground, landing on my feet of course. Ten point landing, well two, no three including my tail but that didn't matter. Not with whatever Beanie was fiddling with. If it was only a fiddle. I mean it was like this and like that. It had stuff that looked like they did nasty things. Things that made shooting the cute and adorable easier. It looked like it could shoot hippos out of it and I didn't want to get shot by a hippo. Even a baby hippo, even if those are cute, a baby hippo to the body would hurt.

But? I scurry back up to top of the boulder and peek. Okay this doesn't make any sense, whatever this thing is came from a guitar case and  yeah it was bigger. Not by a little by a lot. Unless Beanie was an expert on storage or some weird origami thing, there was no way. But there it was. Big and painful, certified to create an ow. Not owl as in hoot hoot, ow is in this hurts a lot.

KERCHUNK!

Kerchunks are never good. Oh my monkey it is getting bigger. How? This is just getting ridiculous, no one needs something as big as that. What is the saying again? It doesn't matter how big something is, it just matters how you use it. Looking at what I am seeing, I am starting to doubt it. Of course this could just be for show, maybe this thing shoots bubbles. Big ones but still shoots them. Pull trigger and BLOOP.

KERCHUNK!

This is getting ridiculous, too many Kerchunks even for a bubble gun. Quickly I scurry up to the top of the Boulder, "Hey Beanie!" I yell out and I see Beanie pause and look at me. Throwing a hand up to point at the big thing in an exaggerated way, "What is that?"

Beanie didn't respond, he just turned around and continued to assemble the big thing. Did he just attach a chameleon to it? That isn't good, hooking a chameleon to something takes it to the next level. Not that level you are thinking but the next one up. Do you remember the cookie jar that is just out of reach and no matter how much you stretch you can't get to, that level! Colorful too, but that isn't important. Well not really, okay sort of maybe it is. I mean different color bubbles would be cool.

"Oh come.... You can tell me, I promise I won't tell anyone."

Beanie just shoots me a look as he attaches something else. Then walks down the length of the whatever it is, grabs some handles.

*Warning! Warning! Warning!*

I hear the machine thingie start to hum at just the right pitch. Moments later, I see the end of the machine start to glow and light blips start to form. Oh and light streaks now too. No bubbles yet though. *mental sad face*

My head automatically follows the barrel as it moves, mesmerized by the prettiness. Wow Beanie is giving me a good view now.  The blips, streaks and everything else is so pretty.

I feel something tapping my shoulder, "What?" I ask without taking my eyes off the pretty. I feel another tap on my shoulder, more urgent now. "What?" Suddenly my tail appears in front of me snapping its thumb, which is impressive since it doesn't have a thumb. The snapping of a non-thumb wakes me up as the tail points in the direction of the blips, streaks and stuff.

Suddenly I feel an ice cube race down my spin when I realize that the machine is pointing right at me and is humming louder and louder.

Looking down the machine I see Beanie looking at me, without blinking. A wicked glitter in his eyes, not due to the machine though. The machine quickly starts to get louder and louder as more blips and streaks start to appear.

EEP, not good!


******

I freeze in place once I hear the click, not that I have anything against clicks. I am not a clickist. I just have a bad feeling about the machine now with all of its light blips and streaks, no matter how good it can keep a tune with its hum, it is up to no good. Of course I stumble a little when my tail bumps into me, it wasn't paying attention and thought I was still moving.

Okay I need to think of something.

Change into something? Something fast and get out of here leaving an 'I was just here' cloud behind. Maybe but can I outrun a light blip or streak. Streaks are probably really fast since they are streaking around. Something really small and hope the whatever the machine does shoots over my head. You must be this small for whatever the machine over there does to shoot over your head. If you are are too big, you might not be soon. Something armored? I can imagine light blips have a way around armor. Just a 'look I am here, was that suppose to stop me?' Sort of thing.

The only thing is, is to transform I will have to strip down and there is no where to do that in private. That is all I need is for someone to snap a photo or a dozen of me naked. Moments later I would be on the front of all of the tabloids with titles like, 'Monkey is going back to nature', 'Look it is a full moon!', 'We flipped a coin and tails it is!' or 'It looks like Monkey has gained some weight. The scandalous photos inside!' What? I haven't gained any weight. *look around* The photos were retouched, they added the weight. Let me see the photos, ppfftt that isn't me, that is a baby hippo with a Whig and a tail taped to its butt. You can tell here and here.

Then....turn to look up into the sky, the spy satellites. I hear they have really good cameras on them now and can read the newspaper that you are reading. Which is rude actually, looking over your shoulder to read the paper. You would get this strange feeling, look around and see nothing. The satellite would clip out the coupons as your read it and use its laser to finish the crossword puzzle. No manners. I can just imagine as I started to slip off my clothes all of the satellites gathering right above me trying to snap a photo, blocking out the sun. *Shiver* Creepy peeping tom satellites, I see you looking at me, well not really but still you are probably up there or aliens.

Let me check the Boy Scout manual it has had everything else in it. Lick finger and start flipping. FLIP! FLIP! How to hide behind a Boulder. I can do that. FLIP! FLIP! FLIP! How to give a porcupine a bath. Why would anyone want to? Can't they give themselves a bath? Maybe the bar of soap would get stuck on their quills if they do it themselves. FLIP! How to tell a storm cloud from a regular cloud. Useless, rain and lightening duh! FLIP! FLIP! FLIP! FLIP and FLIP! How to escape from a mysterious machine that has a lot of Kerchunks and now has light blips and streaks. Look to part two if it is humming. Pretty specific there but hey I am not complaining.

Whip out imaginary reading glasses and start to read page. Interesting.....'We have discovered that light blips and streaks are not good signs when humming can be heard. While the steaks or blips are not poisonous, which is good, coupled with the hum it usually means an energy style attack is about to occur. Such attacks usually hurt and no matter how much Bactine is used after the attack, it will hurt a lot. Screaming and yelling will occur during the attack and more than likely after too but that is part of the energy style attack so that should be expected. Also lose of limb, that is an unfortunate side effect of energy attacks. They sort of just vaporize or burn off whatever they hit, not caring that you or someone else might like or need whatever was just there and now isn't. How to defend against it, well hmmm.... Maybe a mirror but that might only reflect however big the mirror is, attack back. That is about a fifty fifty percent chance though. Oh and remember those fingers holding the mirror, they might be gone too after seeing the light. What we are trying to say is don't get hit by anything with light blips and streaks that hums. It won't be fun.' Great....

*mentally rub the bridge of my nose as I put the manual away*

Okay the short list of things to do getting shorter, really short since I don't want to get hit by it. Need to think and think fast since the glow is becoming brighter and the blips & streaks are making their way around the Boulder. The hum is nice though.

Need to think. I can't let the banana milkshake go to waste.

Think!

Hey that is a pretty cloud it looks like a ....... Wrong type of thinking.

Focus and think.

*Idea bulb boink* BOINK!

******

Now is not the time for me to explain my idea, not with the machine pointing at me with the light blipping and streaking. That and I am not a villain so that rule and others don't  pertain to me since I am a hero. *fists to hips and proud stance with a bright light behind me and jets flying overhead. Heroic Ha! Ha!* The rule books are kept separate, the villain one way over there and the hero one right here. Let me flip through it real fast, yeah no rule for explaining ones idea out when caught in a situation. It just says, 'Save your bacon!'

Oh shoot I need to stop doing what I just did, I can do it later though but the light blips and streaks are getting more blippy and streaky. The hum is getting louder too! Huh what did you say? I need to do my idea? That is what I am planning on doing.

I switch hats from professor to ninja and in one fluid move throw my hand down. *imaginary ninja smoke bomb* In a nonpoof of  ninja smoke I disappear, which is kind of hard to do if you are really cute and adorable. People just like looking at that stuff, not my fault.

I stand there invisible and preparing myself, quickly though remember the blips and streaks,  to tiptoe around and do the 'save my tail' technique. Which always works by the way, especially if you are invisible and stay quiet. No smashing your toes against anything.

Right when I am about to go all stealth I realize something, I am invisible and the keywords are 'I am' as in not my clothes. Which sort of makes the whole invisible and stealth things sort of blah. I mean others could easily see me and point, "Get the clothes!" At that point, I would have to take off like a monkey after a banana and run. Which would probably lead to tripping and falling since I couldn't see my feet.

"Ugh!" I say as I drop my shoulders. You and you turn around so I can take my clothes off in private. No photos either. Yeah I know I am invisible and all you will see is clothes but still, how do I know you don't have one of those thermal can see everything no matter what goggles. I am not an exhibitionist and I am not putting on a show. That is for other girls not me. Turn, I said turn around and stop peeking.

I point to the sky, "You too satellites and weird aliens. I am not putting on a peep show." I motion with an invisible hand for them to turn around,"Turn!"

Waiting for a moment, but not to long because of the blips and streaks, I start to take off my clothes and in moments I am naked as an invisible naked monkey girl. Invisibly censored of course, just in case. Standing there I shiver as a cold wind blows across the landscape. Why couldn't it be warm? I might catch an invisible cold and those are the worse. Cold medicine and doctors can't see them so you remain sick longer.

Quickly I fold my clothes and press them against my chest, a little fit of giggles hitting me. KERSPLAT! Giggle Giggle Giggle. Fun things pop into my mind as I take off. At the right second too, *whew* light blips and streaks filling the air behind me. Taking out the stone and some of the ground and some boulders over there and maybe part of that sheep.

Hiding my clothes behind a small Boulder, about this high, I put a rock on top of them to keep any leprechauns from taking them then do a dramatic spin and point and hey there was pigeons too. Invisible ones, so you couldn't see them. In fact there goes one now. Invisibly point to space in empty air.

*stealth mental giggle*

((Ohhhh a cliffhanger now you will have to come back to see what happens next.))

[Catherine]

I see Beanie standing there behind the blip and streak machine, a wisp of smoke coming from the end of it. Fun thoughts come to my mind, thoughts that I shouldn't be having at the moment really since I narrowly escaped experiencing the light show in first person. But the thoughts sound fun. Especially that one and that one. Not that one towards the end though. It would take too much work and I don't know where I would get half the items with this short of notice. I mean where would I get a monster truck out here? Can't go to the corner stone building and get one. They might carry the hundred glow sticks which would be useless without the albino jet black kiwi bird. Which is just plain hard to find by itself. Sort of collectors items I hear, they have shows where people show off their kiwi bird collections and they salivate at the most rare mint condition ones.

Best to go with that one idea, everything is right here and that is better than not easily being found. That and it would be fun. Can't pass up fun.

*Mental slurp of shake*

Carefully I began to sneak around, letting that one gnome pass before continuing so I don't create any commotion and draw attention to myself. Then I all ninja like start to...hey wait a moment, if I told you what I was doing you would be all yawn when it happens. Where is the fun, shock and awe in that? So all you need to know is that I went all ninja like and stealthy, tiptoeing  and staying low as I moved around. There was was that one time I tripped but I stealth fell and since I am invisible I am not sure if a stunt double stepped in and fell for me. I did see a look of surprise from a squirrel when something unseeable smashed it, eyes came out and everything. I really need to talk to the stunt double.

Let me see if I got everything done. Okay did that and then I loosened those then tied those together and then I ordered a pizza, hey I was a little hungry. Invisibility takes a lot out of you. Until you experience not being seen you can't deny it. Trust the monkey girl, my stomach was about to rumble which isn't too stealthy. So yeah and I shared with the gnomes. They have a hard time ordering them for some reason. I think it is because delivery people don't carry enough change for gold coins, so I ordered and shared.

Hop, skip and a jump and I am off. I stealth run to the blip and streak machine and jump, doing an invisible flip in the air. I think I flipped, it might have a roll or a spin, it felt like like a flip though. Tail over head or was it a bird. It was something, all I know was that I stuck the landing at the end of the machine. Which thanks to some loosening and tightening of some bolts did something fun. If there is a down there has to be an up, physics really. At least that is what they taught in class, although sometimes that felt like they were going by the textbook. So down went my side of the machine and up went Beanie's side of the machine which caught him in the chin.

I watched him flail his arms trying to catch his balance, you see I tied his show laces together. Shhhhh....... So he could only adjust his feet by a little amount and that never works and looks funny. Shuffle. Shuffle. Shuffle.

Beanie growls as he falls backwards and I jump with another I think flip and land on the far side of the machine. Which sends the um..... the beanbag, yeah that is it the beanbag up into the air. The gnomes gave it to me after I shared the pizza with them. I forgot to mention that didn't I? Oops I think the pizza got to me, I will tell you about it later.

Anyways the beanbag went up as I went down. I didn't need to watch where the beanbag was going to land since it was going to land right there. *Invisible finger point to somewhere right there but you can't see so it doesn't matter* Bean goes the beanbag on Bean's head knocking him unconcious. A lot of beans there I could crack a joke but.... I just have to, I can't pass it up. So many bean jokes. Like have you head the one about why the bean crossed the.... No no I shouldn't. Okay a quick one. Pppffffhhhhtttt! Giggle.

The rest is kind hard to do being invisible since there is a lot of knots. Any mistakes and I could find myself tied to a mad bean. There would not be any dancing just a lot of jumping. Giggle. I should ask Beanie how he has bean.  Giggle. I am not Lima, I am concerned. Giggle. I really don't want to string him along. Giggle. Okay okay that is the last one it is starting to get chili.

Quickly I run over to my clothes giggling all of the way at the continual bean things running through my mind. Slip clothes on and adjust then poof I am visible again. For a moment I double check, just to make sure. Al fingers and toes. Two ears and nose. Tail check. Cute and adorable check.

*mental milkshake SLURP*

As I walk over to Beanie, who is still unconscious, I pull out a length of rope from my bag. The standard adventuring length of course, no person calling them self an adventure would carry anything less. Then click the timer on and then off.

Laying on the ground in front of me is a hog tied Beanie. I smack my hands together as I head to the motorcycle making sure any bean stuff is off. Wait you say? What just happened ? How did Beanie get tied up?

I think I can answer that. You blinked and missed it all. Nothing to see really, just a record setting hog tying maybe. Had to switch imaginary hats to a ten gallon hat though. Which was sort of big but streamlining and aerodynamic. What do you think the click click was? It was me timing tying the bean. Maybe a world record too!

Fastest time hog tying a bean - really fast - date this day - Nicole Anne Marie Smith

SLURP!

Just wanted to test to see if it was still good. Yum it is. Did I tell you it was good. I did? Ok. Well it is.

Off to the village since Beanie is all tied up at the moment. Giggle.

*****

Which means I am pushing it up a slight incline. Thank monkey there was a sidecar or I would have dropped the motorcycle and there would have been some screaming when it landed on my foot. Not a stealth scream either, a scream that everyone would hear.  When I say everyone, I mean everyone in the world. Ears would be covered and everything as people looked to the sky wondering where it was coming from.

After what seemed like hours but was only....let me look at my watch. What?!?! It has to be wrong! I just climbed all of that, motioning with a hand back down the slight incline. Grabbing for the motorcycle's handlebars when it looked like it was thinking about rolling back down the slight incline. More importantly it would have taken the banana milkshake with it and I couldn't have that. Shake head and wipe head.

Carefully I undo all the seat belts keeping the milkshake safe and SLURP yum . 

Looking towards the village two words comd to mind and those are  'fishing village'. Which is good since that is where the evil was staying. Maybe for the fresh salt air. Inhale and cough. Yeah definitely salty. Deers could lick the air and get their daily requirement of salt licks in.  If you needed a dash of salt on something, you would not come here. The recipe calls for just a dash, ppfftt ppfftt too salty. Even the salt probably has salt on it.

I take another deep breath and smell the other thing, the fishy smell. Not that there is something smelling funny around here. Okay there is, but that is fish. Which makes sense really since it is a fishing village and everything. I would be questioning the village if it smelled like chickens, yeah I know there is the chicken of the sea. I have seen little cans of them, but I have never seen any feathers on the beaches or anything. That and I don't think chickens know how to swim, no one has offered to teach them maybe. What would they do? Chicken paddle. Those little feet wouldn't be good in the water at all. They would just kick and kick and go nowhere, just bob up and down. Getting their feathers in a ruffle and getting them wet. Once you get chicken feathers all wet they matte and they are hard to dry. The chickens would catch colds and start sneezing and have you heard chickens sneezing, it's like a whistle.

So far I am not seeing any movement down in the village. Just birds flying above and that is about it. From here the village looks a little odd, I can't put my finger on it but on an odd meter it registers as odd. Not almost maybe odd, a definite odd. Maybe it is the colors, maybe it is whole the buildings sort of just, well just. Hard to explain. Maybe it is because I haven't seen anyone walking around too. The milkshake is getting a chill up its sides, which isn't a good sign. If a banana milkshake is scared something is up.

"Don't worry," I tell it as we start to descend towards the village." I will keep you safe."

SLURP!


((Down down I go to the village by the sea where it smells of fish and KERSPLAT! Ewwww Stupid bird. Be back soon.))

[Catherine]

From afar the village was a little creepy and I was hoping up close it would be better. An optical illusion in a way. Maybe due to the salt in the air or even a reverse tourism board type thing, keep the tourists away to keep the small village feel. That and to keep the coffee shops out, specifically that one. What is it called again? Something astronomical and woodsy.... Stellardoes I think, I can picture the signage and It would sort of fit in. You know with the whole fish thing.

As I get closer to the village the paved road slowly switches to cobblestone which makes the ride interesting to say the least. BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP all over the road. Driving in a straight line wasn't an option either, now in a sort of a straight line was more like what was happening. A little over there and then a little over there and then over there and then over there. Sometimes it felt like I was ridding a bucking bull and I considered switching my hat to cowgirl. But I had to keep my hands on the handlebars to keep the motorcycle on the road and more importantly me on the motorcycle. If it wasn't before or started to forget, there was definitely shake in the milkshake.

Throttling it down helped a lot, going from bone bouncing to something similar to bouncing on dad's knee when I was a little girl. The constant up and down though, reminded me of being on the ocean And my stomach was starting not to like it. URP!
 For a moment I catch my reflection in a mirror and I do a double take. Eep! A little green, almost like a sour apple lollipop. While nice looking, it isn't on the monkey girl. Time to brake and walk I guess. 

After I pull the motorcycle off to the side and grabbing the banana milkshake,  I press the key and go "beep" just loud enough that anyone nearby can hear. I promised Winter I would return his motorcycle and I don't break a promise. If I beeped correctly it should fool anyone watching who is considering taking the motorcycle. Just to be safe I beep again, just in case. Hey they, the motorcycle stealer people, might not have been paying attention or something. Just trying to be considerate, maybe they were in the middle of something like a crossword puzzle and missed the first beep, sitting there concentrating on a question, hmmm...... Two over. What is a six letter word for cute and adorable? It starts with 'm'. That is a hard one....

I stand there and stretch for a moment, my spine a little eeee-eeerrrrr-eeeeee-eeeeerrr, I take one of my hands and do a zig zag movement to stress the eeee-eeerrrrr-eeeeee-eeeeerrr of my spine. A SNAP, CRACKE, POP and a moment later and I am ready. For a moment I pause, I forgot about the other passenger.

*mental hand to face *

Straw to lips and SLURP! Mmmm..... All good. A hint of banana in shake form. Not to shaky either and I was afraid that thanks to the cobblestones, the milkshake would have gone to the next level. Something like a milkquake or milkubershake. It would be incalculable how powerful the shake in the milkshake would have gotten. It could have gotten so strong and powerful it might have sucked me down the straw in the cup. My lips.....ow owff, iph canter fits n theud strawph. Owf stoph thish isd af bwendy strawph. I'm notsh builz to owf....owf.....owf.

*shiver* Sucked in by a milkubershake. How would I fit in the cup? Don't tell me.

SLURP!

Mmmm.... Yum! Banana gold. Did I tell you that it is good? What I did? Okay, it is good. 

I look around for a moment and decide that way. The way away from how I came in, don't need to see that again. Heading down to the corner I look for any identifying signs so I know where the motorcycle is. Just in case I have to beat tail out of here. It would sort of be hindered if I couldn't find the motorcycle. No not in this alley. Not this one either. Come on where is it? Look back over shoulder towards something icky slobbering its way towards me as I frantically press the key, trying to find the motorcycle, beep beep beep. Not here either! No......slobber slobber slobber.

*monkey girl ninja tip - remember to find out where you parked. Just in case you have to leave in an accelerated pace with slobber monsters right behind you. *

I am on the corner of......Ewez Will Rd. and Dyes street, that will be easy to remember. Okay now which way to go? Curiosity answers that question when I hear the sound of water splashing to the right, away from sea. You see my curiosity wouldn't be piqued if it thought it was the ocean. Oh water splashing agains the shores curiosity yawn.

Milkshake on head I turn and head in that direction. The end of the straw bobbing up and down with each step.

((Time to play tourist and see the sites. Everyone please follow, on our right...))

[Catherine]

Down the street I go passing one shuttered window and locked door after another. Not to friendly really. It seems like the builders of the city had one thing on their mind, cobblestones. Must be a cobblestone mine or quarry around here close by or they got a deal on them. Twenty cobblestones for the price of one thing. Everything was made of cobblestones even the.... I reach for a closed shutter and tap tap with my knuckles. Okay not everything, shuttles are made of wood so I would guess the doors are too. Whew for a moment I wondered.

I noticed other little things, like how every thing looked wet. Almost like  little streams were running down the sides of the buildings, collect and run through the grooves of the cobblestones in the street.  Every building was like that, building stream building stream. On either side of the streams grew moss and strangely it looked like grass growing. If I was not standing up I would of sworn that I was floating there looking at a small slice of a field or something. Maybe if I just take a step I can..... No no that would be silky. I am not a spider, I can't walk on walls. Well I can if I am running really really really fast getting away from something with big nom teeth or towards a banana milkshake, one of those. It's gravity defying. *imaginary tongue out*

SPLASH!

Eep! That was a deep hole, almost lost my boot there. "I better not have any new friends in my shoe," I say as I go to put a hand on a building to pull the shoe off. Hand slipping a little when it touches wet moss covered cobblestone, imagine a fuzzy muscle bound slug and that is what it felt like. If a tongue licked my palm I would have screamed. With a yank the shoe came off with a sucking sound and about twenty gallons of water poured out of it, no new friends though. With all of the water I expected something aquatic, like an octopus. It's tentacles wrapping around my toes giving my foot massage, it's body all squishy. Ick! Or a lobster, which would have made walking and running if it comes to that, really hard and painful. Schump goes the shoe back on my foot and  little shake to get use to the wet shoe feeling.

SQUISH!

Squish foot, evil will hear me coming now unless I hop up and down on one foot. While possibly fun, it wouldn't be a good way to meet people. "Hi there... Hop hop Yeah hop I am look for hop evil, hop have you hop see it? You are hop wondering about the hop whole hopping hop thing aren't you. I am..... Hop playing pirate hop without a hop peg leg hop that hop needs to hop get around. " That and I have change in my pocket.

Let's go tail and check on the splashing, maybe we will find someone that can point us in the right direction.


SQUISH!


SQUISH!


SQUISH!


*****

I go squish down to the end of the block, the splashing of water getting louder and louder as I go. Still not running into anyone or anything. You would think there would be at least a cat or a dog roaming about or something. What village doesn't have a cat or dog? Apparently this one I guess. I pause for a moment a listen to see if I can hear anything. Nothing, just the sound of splashing water. No meows, no barking or anything else. Of course there could be mime cats or dogs too.

Wait a second that would explain why the village is so quiet. It is a village of mimes. That makes sense really.  *nod head* Do some hand signs and stuff to communicate with each other, like bats! The only thing different is that they, the mimes, paint their faces white and don't have wings as far as I know. I highly doubt the mimes hyper sonic screech to find their way around, although..... Hmmmm, no way to test it though.

But that would explain why the evil came here. Near the ocean where the octopi are and in a village of mimes. It would be worshipped in silence so not giving itself away to anyone passing through. That and mimes could set up invisible walls if the village was attacked and maybe they have other invisible things around, likes boats and planes. No way to see those but if I run into one I will know.

I take another step and peek around the corner of the building to see what is splashing and..... Flip back around and press myself against the wall.

Not a mime. Not at mime at all!


*****


Sitting there against the wall I try to run the situation through my mind, mime.... One image keeps flipping up; white face. Beret, white stripped shirt and gloves. None of which the creature at the fountain has. What I am seeing is a fish, not a cute little fish either. This thing I has legs and arms with webbed hands and feet. Scales all over in that are in moldy greens and browns.  A fin going down its arched back. It's face....yeah wow. Big white fish eyes that never blink, catching the sunlight just right that ups the creep factor. With a mouth full of sharp teeth that haven't looked like they have been brushed in long  time. Think piranha with a big case of the ugly that can walk and you are close.

I stay ninja silent as I watch the fish thing run its hands through the fountain's waters, bringing up handfuls of it up to its mouth which would just drain out through its teeth onto itself. Maybe it was hot and didn't want to get into the fountain, it wasn't that tall to be honest. It was just big, but not tall. You know hunched over and everything adds ten pounds I hear. So maybe it couldn't get in. Maybe it was thirsty, but the amount of water that was going out all over the ground was saying it was going to stay that way.

So enthralled by the scaled wonder I shuffled forwards a little and sent a pebble flying. I watched it in slow motion as it went flying, the whole time in my head I yelled a slow "Nnnnnnoooooooooo......." I thought for a second if I raced after it, I could maybe grab it out of the air and no one would be the wiser. A yoink and a ninja hide, but I think reality heard me and everything speed up and Whap!

Hello back of fish thingie's head meet pebble moving at an extreme speed. I watch as the fin mcfineson's body jerks forward right before catching itself on the edge of the fountain with both hands. Quickly it turns around to see if can spot something to take its pebble pain on.

If it was ugly before add a heaping side of pissed now. The look on its face was um.... Yeah I will go with um. What with the glaring, teeth and water dripping um fits perfectly well as a description. Luckily for me it didn't see me, hey maybe it can't see the cute and adorable. Yay for me! But I have to give it to fish nuggets it was determined. It looked at everything, slowly kneeling down to pick up the pebble as its other hand swept into the fountain's waters.

For a moment, I thought Mr. Gillyhead spotted me when it opened its mouth to pour water into it. Water quickly running through its teeth on to the ground below. Yeah I didn't need to see that. It continued to look around as it tossed the pebble up an down ready to throw it at something.

What to do? I don't mind eating fish sticks but with the teeth that I am seeing now, oh lord of the deep over there will be dipping me into tartar sauce and I don't want that. Monkey girls don't taste good with tartar sauce or in milk, I really don't know if either of those are true or anything. I just don't need to find out, a tmi thing maybe. That and that would be a very short and weird conversation.

"Hey monkey."

"Yeah?"

"You know you tastes good in milk, right?"

"What?" Followed by a nervous laugh as I start to walk away or just a faint, an adorable one though.

Fish hook from the roof? Nah, yeah it might fall for the power of the hook and everything. But like I said it has arms, where there are arms there are hands. Where there are hands there can be implements of ow. It would turn the whole fishing scene on its side if fish started carry swords or clubs. I think I caught a big one here. Let me just wind it in and.... Oh hey it has a THUMP THUMP THUMP!!!

What is left? Giant worm? Don't know where and if the bait shop would carry those? Bread crumbs? It has hands, it would want a sandwich and it might be picky. What you don't want a fish sandwich? Oh, oh yeah. You are a fish....so yeah it would be kind of odd and everything. A net? Fling and ha ha. You are powerless under the net. Again hands, it would pull the net off and probably wrap me up in it. Which would be embarrassing.

Hmm.... I can whap it with my stick. Probably wouldn't work since Mr. Hooks-a-lot looks like he has a pretty thick skull. Thump! Stare! Oh hi there my staff sort of slipped and whapped you. URGH! Hey stop! What are you doing? Stop! My staff doesn't go there. Stop! Stop! Stop!

I turn to look at Mr. Fish lips to see if I can get any ideas. Suddenly the silence, other than the splashing of fountain water, is broken by barking. A dog, that will take care of the creature from the ick lagoon.  The creature looks around, worried maybe, tilts its head up and starts to bark.

What the?

I hear the other bark reply and then several others off in that one direction.

Okay? Dogfish?

The thing of scales looks around one more time before tossing the pebble then awkwardly runs off down another street towards the other barking. Carefully I step out and then turn back the way I came, "I think I will go this way."

Of course I don't go to far since my tail has put its foot down. "Okay we will go that way." It always gets its way in arguments, I just can't say no to it.

So off that way we go. 



((Shhh we don’t want to be caught or seen. So going into ninja mode.))

[Catherine]

Hey if you ever needed to follow something and you get to choose. Pick a fish that walks on two feet. They aren't too fast and you can tell when they are about to stop and look back. No neck so there is no sudden head movement or anything. It is more, oh hey it's turning around so I better hide.

That and it is a fish and what do fish need? Water so even if they just happen to give you the slip, which they might with the scales, just look for the water bottles. They will be like a bread crumb path right to fishie fish, almost but not really guaranteed. It might like to recycle and everything.

But I stayed a safe distance behind fund and things. It doesn't take a mathematician to add one and one together and come up with two. I did hear barking and the fish barked so that meant there was other fish lips about. I didn't want to run into a school of them, suddenly finding myself surrounded by scales and fins. I can imagine their big eyes just staring as me as water drips out of their mouths. Yeah I could probably try and do some fancy moves and get away but with all of the water on the ground, I would slip and wind up on my back. Tail up in the air like a hook and that would just lead to trouble.

Could try and talk my way out of it. "Hey things..... You know we have somethings in common. Legs, arms and other body parts. All of which I love." They would just stare like fish do, mouths opening and closing. Nervous, I would rub the back of my head with a hand trying to think."Hey, I just thought of something else. I love fish sticks!" Eep, wrong choice of words and cower as the fish thingies jump or rush at me. Hey where did that one get the baseball bat from?

So safe distance away is safe.

Mr. Blub Blub went for a while, a couple blocks down then a right turn and another right turn followed by another. I paused as I turned the corner and took a step back, hiding in the shadows all ninja style, as two more fish fish appeared. They were built the same as the one I was following, one had slightly redder scales while the other had a scar crossing one eye. Again a what to do moment and the scales were on their side.

*mental hand to face* I can't believe I just thought that.

The only thing I can do is go back the way I came and I am pretty sure I would run into them again. "Oh hey things I thought I left you back....How did you get...... Okay...." Hands up and palms out towards the fish thingies as I back away. "It looks like you are busy and everything. I will just go this other way and leave you to what fish with hands  & feet do."  Fish jump and monkey overcomes.

I keep my imaginary hat in and add a light bulb for thinking. Ninja silent hmmmm.....

Suddenly out of nowhere a hand wraps around my mouth as I get yanked into a building. Whooza...Whatzaaaa....Howzaaa.... In moments the hands and yanking are gone and I am left in darkness.

Out of nowhere I hear a "shhhh....be quiet. They will go away soon."


((Always best to stop with a mysterious voice. Until next time...))

[Catherine]

"You know people don't like..." I start to say before being shushed.

"Be quiet. They will hear you."

"The fish," I say as I wipe a sliver of dust off a window to peek outside," they don't have ears. So kind of hard."

"They can and will if you keep jabbering."

"I am not jabbering, I am simply telling you that they are fish and everything," I reply a little steamed.

"Like I said jabbering or do I need to tell you the definition of jabbering. Yes they will hear you."

I look outside and can see the walking fish fingers standing there and in a weird sort of fish way it looked like they were talking and arguing. Barks ringing out every so often as they shifted back and forth, hands moving all over. "I still don't think they..." I started to say, stopping when the fishies stopped and looked in my general direction.

"Told you..."

It didn't take long for one of the fishies to come over to the window. Yeah from a distance they were well how I described them. Up and close and personal with only a little piece of glass between us that changed. It took it to the next level. Thank monkey,  the fish was fogging up the window with its breath as it stood there panting, trying to see what made the notice.

*ninja art of sounding like something else so the thing with teeth will just walk away technique*

"Squeak. Squeak. Squeak."

The key thing with this technique is to do just enough. There is a limit and if you go beyond that limit, you will know quickly. How you ask? Usually when the big sharp teeth start to separate, that is when you will know. Also key is to know what to sound like. If you do the wrong thing, you will stick out and you don't want that. For example, sounding like a moose is not good when you are trying to hide in a building. Know the limits and the surroundings.

I held my breath for a moment hoping I fooled the fish with teeth. Did it buy it, ninja style I asked myself. The fish exhaled once, fogging up the window even more before I think it joined the others. Kind of hard to tell through the fogged window and everything. Moments later there was some more barking and then the sound of webbed feet on the ground.

Quickly I exhaled, not realizing that I was holding my breath, as I turned around and with my back against the wall slide down.  After taking a couple breathes, I looked into the darkness trying to see who helped me.

"Thank you for helping me. Oh and I wasn't jabbering I was just talking."

"Same thing..." The person in the darkness answered back. For a moment I saw movement in the darkness and I squinted just a little to see if I could make out anymore details. That is all I needed really, to be saved from one thing with sharp teeth  by another thing with sharp teeth.

I could see a figure start to form out of the darkness as it got closer and close. Is that lobster claws for hands. Is that antennae? Am I talking to a walking lobster? Why is everything that tastes good dipped in butter, walking around here?

A hand slips into my bag and wraps around the Hyper Turbo Super Staff of whapping signed by Jackie Chan just in case. It is best to be in the 'just in case' mode then be caught in the 'flat on your butt' mode in a situation like this.

Closer the figure comes and I grip the staff a little more. I will only whap if necessary and it looks like it might be necessary. I swear I see claws, honest.

Any moment now and....

((Okay I must be dreaming or something. A talking lobster? Really? I mean I think the writer could have came up with something better))

[Catherine]

Well shoot, I mean whew. Not a walking lobster but a girl. Around five foot tall wearing pants and a shirt with running shoes, all worn and dirty. In fact one of the pant legs had duct tape wrapped around it. Another small strip of tape on her shirt.

The closer she got the more I could see of her. The darkness sort of does that, hides and makes things look like other things.  I swore I saw a walking lobster and I was preparing the butter. I really doubt if the girl would like me dipping her into butter. I could tell the girl had brown hair pulled back into a pony tail now and she was due fir a good long shower. With soap and shampoo too! Okay wow a little ripe.

She stopped out of arms reach, not that I would reach for her. "Then...." I started to say something before a finger touched my lips and the girl said "Shhhh......" Okay I didn't know where the finger has been recently but sampling the various tastes and smells I was getting from it, I would say yuck. Even all of my tastebuds and smellbuds said yuck, not a single one of them said let's try some more as I took a step back and spit.

Not on the girl, that would be rude. Yeah this is how we say 'Hi' from where I come from, formation of spit noise and spit on person. I spit off to the side to get all of the tastes and anything else away, away like over there away and not on my lips away. I know that it wasn't nice of me or anything and I do feel bad for doing it but it was nasty.

The look on the girl's face said it all and more. I tried to tell her that I am sorry for doing what I just did and got to about "Sor," when the finger started to come up and started to make a beeline towards my lips.

Quickly I raise a hand up and block the finger. *Defensive block!*

'Sorry...' I mouth to the girl as she pulls her finger away thinking. Suddenly a light bulb goes off over her head and I watch as the girl's hand starts to make weird well hand signs. Sort of can't do foot ones and definitely can't do tongue ones. That would be ick.

Okay,  I thought as the signs flew by quickly. Is she a magician? I shake my head, fighting off the spell and the girl repeats the hand signs again. Okay? I look around trying to figure out what the spell the girl is trying to cast and see nothing happening. Nothing floating. No rabbits popping out of nowhere. No cards flying about.

I turn back around to the girl who is repeating the hand gestures again. Behind me I can feel my tail bending and stuff. I look over my shoulder and can see it is contorting like the girl's hand.

Wait a second....

I have seen this before, quickly I look back at the girl and bring up my hand. Quickly my fingers start to dance, 'How much is the cheese? I don't not speak sign language.'

The girl stops and looks at me with a 'What the?' look.

I repeat the message , 'How much is the cheese? I don't not speak sign language.'

Eyes roll and the girl points at my tail, at that point I repeat my message , 'How much is the cheese? I don't not speak sign language.'

I can tell the girl is getting frustrated by the how red her cheeks are getting, "How do you explain that?" She asks pointing at my tail.


******


"Shhhh......." I tell the girl as I press with my own finger against my lips, I know where it is has been so all safe.

"Don't tell me to shhhh...." The girl growled as she scowled at me.

"But you told me to be quiet because of the fish."

"They were right outside and would have heard you. Then you did all of the things with your hands telling me about cheese and not speaking sign language over and over."

"Well I don't know how to speak sign language," I answered a little confused.

The girl pointed threw her hand up and pointed at my tail, "Then how do you explain that signing?" All I could do is shrug, "I don't know. Maybe it took a class or two on it."

"It is attached to you!" The girl growled again, slightly mad on the mad scale."If it took some classes, so did you."

I could feel my tail moving and gesturing behind me, what it was saying I don't know really. "I didn't take any sorry."

"Then," the girl said pointing at the tail again, "How do you explain your tail signing? It knows it and it is clearly attached to you." Crossing her arms as she smiled.

"It just does," I answer matter of factually.

The girl stomped a foot, "That isn't an answer. It is your tail so you have to know sign language."

"All I know is 'I don't speak sign language' and 'how much is the cheese'. She..." I say pointing back to my tail, "knows a lot. I am amazed sometimes, you know once I saw her Hotwire a car with my eyes closed. I still have yet to figure that out."

"That doesn't even make sense."

I reached and pat my tail gently,"Tell me about it, sometimes I think she has a mind of her own." My tail nods a little, "See."

"Ugh, it is attached to you. It is your tail. It is you controlling it." The girls says stomping a foot.

"I am just telling you what I know." My tail sweeps in front of me, without any thought I reach up and start to pet it like a villain pets a cat.

The girl brings up one of her hands and rubs the bridge of her nose, "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

"Well..." I start to answer as my tail sweeps back behind me, "I am Nichole Anne Marie Smith, my friends call me Monkey. For obvious reasons," I smile and point to my tail,"I was told there is some great evil or something here and I had to come here and stop it. Although what I have been told it has tentacles and bat wings so I am sort of iffy on wanting to see or touch it." Shivering a little at the image in my mind of tentacles and wings.


I watch as the girl thinks for a moment, "I ....."

BANG!

[bj((Leaving you with a BANG! Is it a gun? Is just a bangfish? Find out next time...))[/b]