Gardening, Baking and Life

[JuliettaRossi]

So the contractors came back today. They admitted they were the ones who took the items from our property and stated that they threw them out. The house next door was sold to Offerpad so we involved them immediately, especially after one of the workers for nasty with us.

Offerpad fired the company immediately, had them leave the property and barred them from ever working for them again.  Now we are just worried about retaliation by the workers or company. I have a feeling we will wake up to smashed car windows and/or slashed tires.

Offerpad has offered to pay us damages, but I just want my pineapples back...the trellis, while it shouldn't have to be,  can be rebuilt. We need to figure out what to ask for in payment for the items now.

[JuliettaRossi]

So....after the pineapples were taken, I kinda just...I dunno. It's been too fucking hot outside. Nothing is really growing and the pollen is inert in this kind of temperature. There has been no gardening going on. In fact we moved the canopy I was working under, further back into the yard since the top was torn up by a storm. We have put up sail shades and they have been nice for sitting under in the evenings after work while working on paddles. I was making myself leave the computer for at least a couple hours each evening to take advantage of the fading daylight and earn some side money.

Also, I did have a really nice mammoth sunflower growing. Something gnawed the sunflower head off. That in combo with the pineapples being taken was just virtually the end of my being outside this summer. I did get 2 cucumbers off the vines up front and a roma tomato off one of my many tomato plants. The Autumn Beauty sunflower bloomed like crazy. It's bloomed so much that the heads no longer created seeds...I've cut a number of them off and there was only one with seeds. The plant spends so much energy making flowers it can't do anything else...

My mother did come up for her birthday. I made another batch of my vanilla latte cookies which are sooooovery good and the peach upside down cake.
I was also craving Coconut Drops. I haven't had them in many years. I tried them the first time at an open air market in the Bahamas where I also first had conch salad (yum!). If you've been to the Bahamas or Jamaica you might have tried these. They are wonderful! They are super simple - chunked fresh coconut, grated fresh ginger, brown sugar and corn syrup. It's essentially a Caribbean praline. Some people include some ground pepper into it, I don't. I find the ginger is enough of a bite.

We were given a bunch of blueberries and lemons s couple of months ago. The result was lemon blueberry bundt cake. So very good! I will certainly be making this one again!

Tom Kha Gai - Thai chicken and mushroom soup, is my comfort food. It's what I crave when I'm not feeling well. I've started making batches of it lately. Coconut milk, fresh lemongrass, fresh grated ginger and cloves of garlic, all stirred up with some chicken thighs and sliced mushrooms.

I tried my hand at making pickles. OMG... I love garlic dill pickles. I always have. I grew up eating pickled sausages and I like pickled eggs. So the pickles...I made 4 smal jars in the first batch. I gave a jar to the neighbors and they returned the empty jar 2 days later. I gave them another one and set out to make more. Yesterday I made 5 large jars plus another smaller jar.

I've also been making jars of bruchetta mix - tomato, red onion and garlic with red wine vinegar, rice vinegar and olive oil. I add balsamic vinegar when serving. I made another two jars yesterday in addition to the 6 jars of pickles. I also made a fresh pineapple salsa (since I bought a pineapple for planting the top again. I mixed pineapple, tomatoes, red onion, orange bell pepper and cilantro - perfect for thin salty tortilla chips.

I worked on vegetables and fruits all day yesterday. I chopped 2.5 bulbs of garlic. I chopped so much garlic the oils ate away at the skin on my fingers - essentially a chemical burn. I couldn't get the oils off my fingers no matter how many times I washed my hands.

This morning I made blackberry Danish. I cheated with it - using a roll of crescent dough, which is less expensive than a roll of puff pastry. I'm sure it would have been better with the puff pastry, but the cost on some things has just gotten crazy.

We took a day trip out to a wildlife area about an hour away. I'd been watching the social media of a friend who was going there virtually every weekend. It's free to get in and you can certainly spend the day there. We left right before dusk. We were actually surprised at the number of gators because it is sooo very hot. They come out more when it's cooler out - sunning themselves on the roads because the water is too cold, especially during the winter months. Lots of birds, a bunny, and tons of insects - especially dragonflies.

We have a new kitten. Pretty sure she's a Maine Coon mixed with a calico or torty. She's soooo soft and fluffy and loves to play. She has so much energy - running through the house and playing all day. The other animals have adjusted to her for the most part - aside from a few swats by her huge ass baseball mitt paws. She's gonna be a huge cat.

We've been going back to the local dungeon. It's changed a lot - a whole new set of people. Virtually no one we knew before Covid. It feel strange to be back in the room, among people I don't know anymore, but it felt good to be able to play again as well. They needed a good restock on paddles as well, which we were happy to oblige.

So Hurricane Ian...I'm sure you've seen the videos and photos on social media and the news. They aren't just showing you the worst of it. Florida - especially the west coast, looks like that right now in a very widespread area. Central FL is flooded - still a week after the storm and the waters continue to rise here. The east coast wasn't spared. The beaches are completely washed away - the waters coming up to breaker walls or areas that were gently sloping dunes or beach barrier areas look like the edges of sinkholes. Piers are washed away - some that included restaurants. St. Augustine/the NE corner of FL flooded as well. Southern FL did not escape - they had tornadoes and high winds. Private planes were flipped like they weighed nothing. Roofs were ripped apart. The only place that seems to have escaped was where the storm was originally forecasted to hit - the panhandle.

SW FL, by far is the most changed area of the state. I grew up going to the beaches of Sanibel & Captiva. I have jars of seashells - memories of vacations with my mother, walking the soft sands of the beaches at the water's edge, dolphins in the water and baby sting rays flapping by; the Sanibel Stoop and the Stingray Shuffle; sunsets and the Green Flash. The islands of the west coast are magical. I know a lot of media has been devoted to these two islands when there is also Pine Island/Matlacha/St.James City, Ft. Myers, Cape Coral, Port Charlotte, Venice, Naples, Marco Island. I'm not ignorant - I know why the focus is on Sanibel & Captiva. They are they where the homes of millionaires are. They are the snowbird homes of rich northerners. We talk about tourism here like Disney is the only draw. Come Thanksgiving time, the west coast is overrun by northerners fleeing  the snow. They stay up until around Easter and head home again. We could only afford a one or two night stay there in one of the small hotels at any time, and a week at a time when I stayed with family friends who rented homes. Glorious hot summer days, Cuba Libres, soft sand under foot and seashells in a beach pail. It's all I want in life...
Snowbirds bring in a TON of money to the area. The surrounding areas of Lee county are mostly republican, made up of elderly retirees and rich folk. Jobs are scarce and will be even more now. Rebuilding will take years if not decades. The road to Pine Island has been restored thankfully - the people there are not as wealthy as those of Santiva, so it was imperitive to get that one washout area repaired as soon as possible.

Prior to the storm I never would have shared the hidden gem of Sanibel, selfish to keep it a closely hidden place. The names of Sanibel and Captiva have been the talk of the media this past week however. You are seeing the after pictures and videos and if you've never been there you simply don't understand. These islands were true old Florida. There were no chain stores or restaurants (outside of a 7-11 franchise location). There were small mom & pop restaurants and shops and motels. They had names like Shalimar and Blue Dolphin - both of which were wiped clean off the map, Baileys and Jerrys - the two grocery stores on the island - the latter of which was famous for their exotic birds, all of which died during the storm, Joeys Custard and Island Cow and Doc Fords (owned by one of my favorite authors). A month ago we thought the worst thing was the fire at the Island Cow - how wrong we were.

Even if your favorite place survived, it likely had feet of water inside. Many owners are coming back - relieved to find even a shell of a building while inside it looks like a tornado happened and the floors are slick with a dark layer of muck. This applies to homes as well as shops and restaurants. The newer buildings and those built into the mangroves seem to have survived, while those with beautiful beach-front access bore the brunt of the damage. The barrier islands are a unique place and Sanibel and Captiva have been working to restore mangrove and buffer areas and those areas were some of the ones that survived the best.

There is one way on and off by way of the causeway - I'm sure you've seen the pictures of the bridge washed away in 5 places at this point. This happened at points in the 3-mile bridge where the bridge actually touched or rested on land - what little of it there was. That land was washed away, eroded by the rushing storm surge and with it, the asphalt and concrete of the causeway. Traffic jams are common during high-season on Periwinkle but give way after a short distance as people peel off onto limited side streets, shops and eateries. There are bike paths and beach accesses with long boardwalks where you can sometimes hear alligators croaking a warning to not come any closer, especially at breeding season. There is Ding Darling wildlife center where roseatte spoonbills gather, Blind Pass where the juncture of the two islands create a swirl of harsh waves and flurry of shells, the Bubble Room and their delicious Orange Crunch cake and quirky decor and Mucky Duck, Mad Hatter and Lazy Flamingo among many others for good food. Gramma Dot's for breakfast - they have a boat in their entrance area now - their location was on a marina area that saw quite a bit of damage. I never would have talked up this place I love before, but now they will need outsiders more than ever. They will need your help to recover but also will need the tourism dollars. Once the islands are on the path of recovery and open to tourism, please come. Leave your troubles and worries behind as you pass over on that Happy Highway to the islands. Slow down, take a walk, look for the little brown bunnies that everyone is hoping survived the storm, try to find that elusive Junonia shell (and get your picture in the local Islander newspaper for doing so). Come get some fudge at Bailey's and maybe a postcard or two to send a little bit of the island to loved ones. Bring the sunscreen and some bug spray (the mosquitoes and noseeums are horrific at times, especially closer to sunset/dusk), your bathing suit and some comfy flip-flops.

The destruction you are seeing on Ft. Myers beach - is because they have no buffer - no mangroves, no conservation aspect. It's a small spit of land that hugs the coast built high with hotels and condos. There was nothing to help stop the waves and lessen the winds except those buildings, the pier, the restaurants that were a party destination. The damage there is extraordinary. It looks like a war zone covered in fine white sand.

We got lucky where we are - we only lost power for a few days and we are technically on "high ground" if there is such a thing here. Once the storm passed it got cool out so we were able to sleep with the sliding glass doors and windows open. The same thing happened here after Hurricane Wilma 17 years ago. There is extensive flooding here though - homes and businesses underwater.

If you planned a vacation here in the coming weeks and months, your travel plans might be impacted. I hope they aren't. If they are, please be gentle with the people of this area. They are trying to acclimate to their new normal and the long road of recovery ahead. Some might have been displaced to other areas and have lost everything. We all need the tourism dollars here - more now than ever and we need people to come back once we have come back from this.

[JuliettaRossi]

So it's been a...while.

A lot has happened since Oct 2022. No real gardening. Some baking. A trip to Arizona (which I will also post about later). A lightning strike. Some medical issues (to read a little bit about that, I did write in the Storyteller's Café about this).

But, since watching 60 Minutes yesterday, I've been thinking about butterflies. For those who didn't watch it, Anderson Cooper went to Mexico where the Monarch butterfly flock to. The story about their lifespan and the fact that they essentially turn off their sexual organs to put that energy toward living three times longer in order to make the pilgrimage to Mexico is nothing short of amazing. The fact that no butterfly that is there has ever been there before - these are butterflies that simply know they need to migrate there at a certain time of year... is even more astounding.

It is certainly worth a search online to watch the segment. It was extremely interesting (including a little segment about how to warm up cold butterflies on the ground). Butterflies are hugely important as pollinators. Bees are too of course, but butterflies, wasps (as much as I dislike them) and other flying insects all do the work of making sure we have food to eat. Bees seem to get the bulk of the fame when it comes to this (rightfully so, but they are not the only ones).

In my previous gardening posts I would sometimes post pictures of butterflies that happened by, but in the span I've been gone from this blog, I started planting purple passion flower. It's a beautiful plant but it grows crazy and is very invasive, however, it's a native here, so.. I let it take over anything and everything here and with passion flower comes a certain butterfly and their caterpillars - the Gulf Fritillary which is also a Florida native.

So over 2023 and 2024 I was raising caterpillars in an enclosure. Yeah, it sounds strange and it is. The plants outside were getting decimated. When I say gone, I mean like one day you go outside and the entire side of the house is covered in passion flower vines with a ton of beautiful strange alien looking flowers and some fruit growing as well.... and the next day, it could be reduced to sticks. I think at one point I counted over 60 caterpillars caught in one day. 

Now, I hear you asking... why are you catching them??

So, caterpillars have a very slim chance of becoming butterflies. Between birds and other creatures, they often become a snack. Or they cocoon in simply horrible places and get stepped on, hit, crushed, etc. For example... over the weekend a caterpillar attempted to cocoon on the edge of the sliding screen door... The door that gets opened and closed probably 4-6 times a day as I let our idiot cat in and out. The cocooning wasn't successful either... so there was a dead caterpillar just hanging there a few days before it fell off (I tried to recall it was there so as to not crush it, but after a couple days it was apparent it wasn't gonna make it - it dies in process of cocooning).

So... in effort to help the caterpillars become butterflies, I would capture them and put them into a screen enclosure, make sure they had plenty of passion flower leaves (from another neighbor's wall) and when they hatched from the cocoon, I would release them.  Since I was doing some of this after I started having medical issues, I let some go at my mom's place after she moved up here in efforts to help spread the wealth. 

It's super easy of course. The hardest thing is capturing the caterpillars. They are spiky. I try NOT to touch anything spiky/furry (see also the horrific tussock moth caterpillar... if you EVER see one, steer CLEAR). They like to cling, so a stick is generally the easiest thing to capture them with to place into the screen enclosure. Then I fill it to near overflow with leaves on the vine. I leave them on the vine and arc and curl the vine in order to give them even more locations too cocoon from.

 See...Spiky... Spiky is a no-no. Even when the internet tells me they don't sting... Nope.

In cocoon form they look like leaf litter. It's easy to NOT see them, unlike Monarchs which have BEAUTIFUL cocoons. They show off in every stage while the Gulf Fritillary does not. The strangest thing... is that the cocoons move. If the cocoon is disturbed at all - touched, grazed, blown by the wind, etc... It will wiggle. It's creepy and fascinating all at the same time. You know inside this strange brown papery looking thing is a caterpillar turning to goo and then turning into a beautiful butterfly.

Even the "underside" of their wings is neat looking I think. The white dots are shimmery. Since I have passion flower still overgrowing everywhere and a large patch of lantana - both are host plants for them, I have butterflies daily flying through. I haven't been capturing them this year due to work being crazy and needing to move (on FRIDAY!) - my mind has been elsewhere. I don't know how many I raised over the past 2 years though.

It's easy to help raise butterflies to release. A simply screen enclosure is literally ALL you need outside of whatever food source/host plant that the butterfly you decide to raise needs. Not all use passionflower and lantana. Be prepared for your plants to get EATEN. Your garden may not look "pretty" at times, but if you aren't feeding something, you don't really have a garden.... 

If you do decide to raise them, then they hatch, leave them in the enclosure for a little while - until they are actively moving. Remember they JUST hatched, If you can catch them emerging from the cocoon you will see just how wrinkled and "wet" their wings are. Those wings need to extend and dry. Once they are consistently flapping those wings and maybe flying or moving around the enclosure a little, you can let them go. If it is too late in the day, hold off on releasing them until the following day. They need time to find food and shelter during daylight hours. A release too late in the evening will sometimes end up in a bird swooping in for a snack (even though Gulf Fritillary's have a defense mechanism in the mode of chemical release against predators). You want to give them a good basis for survival - you just spent days rooting for crazy little caterpillars to turn into goo and then into little flying jewels like magic!

[JuliettaRossi]

Arizona.

I have to say, I only ever thought... brown.... when I thought of Arizona. I'm from Florida. I like my world green and lush and rainy and humid and... ok, not humid. That part sucks. But, in all my years I've NEVER wanted to go to Arizona. Never wanted to see the Grand Canyon. Not interested in deserts and canyons.

So, two years ago, my father invited me on a trip to a cabin that his uncle owned in Arizona. He was paying my way. I'd get to see him, and my half-sister and her soon-to-be husband. I would be traveling out with one of his friends from when he was younger and his grandson. I wasn't looking forward to that part. First off... huge political and moral and ideological differences between all of us and this man that he grew up with. I think you probably can guess who leaned which way...

Anyway. so dad. He and I have had a very strange relationship. He wasn't around most of my life. His mother was particularly nasty to my mother before and after I was born including trying to get one of my father's friends to say he was my father (my grandmother was sleeping with the friend... if that gives you any insight here on relationship issues...). Of course the judge asked if this was true and if he would be willing to take a paternity test, etc. Sooo... you get the outcome.

Anyway, fast-forward to high school. He was invited to my graduation. Prior to that he would come into town to dive or go to the races, or see friends and would maybe stop in for a half hour to see his kid. There was always a different, more important reason for him to be here. After graduation he was particularly nasty to my mother and I asked him to leave and cut all contact with him for MANY years after that. We have spent the last few years getting acquainted with one another and I've been able to see my half-sister a handful of times. I still haven't seen my half-brother since I was maybe 10 during a brief trip out to see my father on the other side of the US.

The flight was fine. The drive in through Arizona from Phoenix to the small town is where the cabin was was long... at least another 3 hours... After two flights, a layover in Atlanta, and then 3 hours in a truck with the kid and his ignorant-ass grandfather, I was going out of my brain. The drive was really pretty though. My father drives like a nutjob though and we were in a huge pickup truck hauling a toyhauler with a dune buggy in it, and he was freaking me out a bit on the cliff-side roads.

The cabin was a great little spot in the middle of nowhere. There was a little pond that all kinds of animals come to. Scrub jays came by the feeders outside the patio daily as well. It was surrounded by juniper. I've never been so sick. I've never had allergies. I experienced my first ALLERGIES when I got to Arizona. My nose didn't fuckin stop, sore and scratchy throat, swollen itchy eyes, nosebleeds (just enough to be allowing but not gush). Yeah... I was cute. Lemme tell you. I've never understood allergies until I went there. I live in the land of YELLOW pollen and have never had an issue. Until then. The only saving grace was it was cool out and there was no humidity which was amazing.

The next day we toured around the area of the cabin - to a canyon down the street. How many people can say they have a canyon at the end of the road? There was juniper everywhere. I love the trees - they are absolutely amazing - they look like tortured souls stretching toward the sky. It's likely what I was allergic to... There were also some pinion pines which were pretty interesting. I'm used to slash pines here, Australian pines which were planted to suck up the swamp water and make Florida inhabitable ages ago. Those and melaleuca trees (which smell like French fries to me, so yay) were used for the same purpose but are invasive here.

  

We drove all over the area, went into town and did some shopping and had lunch at a cute restaurant I loved called The House. They had really good chicken tenders with house made hot sauce (unlike Crystals or anything else - it had a really good flavor) and it had this little treat/ice cream shop on premises. There was a huge open yard with a stage where a band was performing, people were dancing, playing cornhole, lounging and drinking beers, etc. I was trying to be good, so the tenders were it for me, but the ice cream looked so good. I really wish we had gone back - the food was that good.

  

We went to Silver Creek Restoration Area - a prairie type area - a creek, animals here and there, all kinds of plants and trees. It was a nice, relaxing first day. There was mullien, lupine, hawthorne and Field Crescent butterflies everywhere. That afternoon my father took out the dune buggy and we followed in the truck to an overlook - more juniper and pinion pines, barberry, some agave and a view that was pretty amazing.

  

The cabin is in a little off-the-grid area with BUMPY roads that get worse the closer to the cabin you get. It's kinda perfect for tearing around in a dune buggy, but my back was pretty upset with the bumpiness honestly. I didn't even try the dune buggy - I left that to the guys. We took a drive to another property in the area - a place called Sunset Ranch - they care for older and infirm horses.

The following day we stopped on the way out of the local area to take a look at an old broken-down, falling apart church that was VERY small and on a trailer. Complete with stained glass. There were still broken shards of colorful glass inside (I stole a shard but don't know what happened to it - I think I left it in the cabin). There was evidence of a hive of some sort on the ceiling, now long gone.

 

Then we headed out to Pinetop. This was an unexpected aspect of Arizona. It was green and lush and forested and I LOVED it.  I'm very much a water sign - a Scorpio (with Scorpio rising and Cancer moon). I can't stand being away from water. This trip was already drying me out. I was having to put lotion on multiple times a day. My nose bleeds were ridiculous. I was using nasal spray and eye drops. I was falling apart! Pinetop was different. I got to see snow for the first time there! In the middle of May! It was already on the ground (so I've still never seen snow fall) under trees and along side the roads as we went further into the mountains. We stopped at fast-flowing Billy Creek and the guys tried their hand at fishing while I rolled up my jeans and waded into the ICY water. It was the first thing on my mind (after touching the snow silly!) - I had to get my feet in the water. I stayed in until my feet were so frozen I couldn't feel them...

 

I found all kinds of things while there - I'm a rock hound - always have been and the area around the cabin was littered with agate. The first thing I found was a beautiful little clump of white bubbly calcite right next to my first bit of snow I touched. It was like a gift, which I quickly snatched and put in my little plastic baggy I carried for just this purpose. I left Pinetop with little pine cones of different types of conifers, stones, feathers, and little clippings of some of the plants to identify later - creeping cinquefoil, sweet violet, horsesugar trees, dandelions, prairie smoke and more mullien. The whole area was amazing and I really hated to leave. We stopped at a little restaurant and had a late lunch/early dinner before heading back to the cabin for a perfect sunset.

 

The next day was a trip to Canyon de Chelly. This was little touristy for me, but still pretty neat to see dwellings in the cliffsides, small homes down in canyons all alone in the middle of nowhere. I probably looked like a crazy person with my back to the canyons half the time, taking pictures of plants and such. There was an eagle that was flying in the area which was pretty neat as well. Purple milk-vetch, scarlet gilia, yellow-eyes cryptantha, cliff fendlerbush, a few beautiful king cup cactuses - lots and lots of types of cactus... I ended up buying mom a set of earrings that were dreamcatchers complete with sinew and a small bit of amethyst wrapped around a teardrop-shaped bit of silver. There are people trying to sell all kinds of things there. If I had more money I would have bought one of the carvings from one of the native kids out along the lookout areas. He was doing amazing work.

 

After the canyon we went to lunch at a place I found online - my one request was for frybread so I picked Junction Restaurant. I wasn't gonna leave Arizona without having it at least once. Good gosh.... it's sooo yummy. Maybe it's my native genes screaming lol but I love fry bread. The place we went to had a dish where they put tender slices of pot roast along with lettuce and onion and tomato onto it along with fries. Since no one else had ever tried fry bread (really dad?? you've been out to Arizona a hundred times or more) we ordered a plate for the table - it was drizzled with honey and sprinkled with cinnamon. Ugh so good...

The next day was The Petrified Forest. This was - in my mind - right up my alley, however, no one wanted to stop and see anything  (I HATE TRAVELING WITH OTHERS SOMETIMES!). The park had a ton of evening primrose and mariposa lily everywhere. So pretty! We did stop into the gift shop (mostly so I could go the nerdy get my national park book stamped thing, just like at Canyon de Chelly), pick up a few stickers and look at the pictures and letters from people who had taken stones from the park only to befall "terrible things" - attaching those incidents to the fact that they had taken a stone from the park, and they would mail them back. There is also a picture window showing a large fallen piece of wood turned petrified and an old photograph from the times of old-timey cars showing people in 1920s clothing in front of the same thing. Apparently once upon a time people would travel out there and load their vehicles with pieces of petrified wood and take them back east until the park was well wiped out.

 

Phacelia, prince's plume, Stansbury's cliff rose, petroglyphs, stone ruins, ancient trees turned agate that created a bridge. The park is large and I probably could have spent more time there exploring it. Instead we left and went into Holbrook where Route 66 passes through. The town is seemingly frozen in time. Teepee shaped hotel rooms, old rusted pick up trucks, petrified wood EVERYWHERE. We stopped for lunch at a restaurant called Mr. Maestas. It is cluttered with historical ephemera of all kinds. The walls, the ceilings, everything is covered with some sort of old advertisement, toy, packaging, pictures, etc. They also sell antiques and jewelry... I probably never would have picked this place, but it was probably some of the best food we had during the trip. I got the Navajo tacos, which I mean... more fry bread? Yes! Please!

 

That night my half sister and her boyfriend came to stay at the cabin with us. They were going to stay another week after we left. They brought alcohol... My first taste of sippin cream... OMG... Appalachian Sipping Cream in Banana Pudding flavor... good gosh this stuff was fantastic. We spent the evening working on puzzles, making pasta with meat sauce, and watching tv. The next day my father's friend didn't want to do anything... so no one got to do anything... We stayed around the cabin and cooked and baked and worked on puzzles. Did I mention I HATE traveling with people? The day after it was time to head back to Phoenix for the flight home. I was ready to seriously run away. I couldn't imagine hours on the flight home with these two...

The drive back to Phoenix, my father took a different route - one that tested the brakes of the truck and toy hauler... Windy, steep and narrow, the roads back smelled of burning rubber and brake pads. We stopped for a few minutes at Salt River Canyon rest stop. I was white-knuckling the whole trip... Three very LONG hours in the truck ready to simply be sick and at times unable to look out the windows, instead staring down at my feet in the back seat of the cab of the truck.

 

Because we were insanely early, we ended up eating a late breakfast/early lunch at of all places - First Watch, which we have here in Florida and I could go to at any time if I actually wanted to.  When I travel I want to eat at unique places. Hole-in-the-wall places. Eat where the locals eat. I'm not eating at a national chain or at some 4-5 star hoity-toity restaurant. My father travels a lot - usually to go diving. He goes all around the world and it always amazes me that he doesn't eat anything "new & exciting," but I do understand you don't want "new & exciting" when you are in a wet suit in the middle of the ocean diving... Doesn't always work out well... lol It drives me crazy when he tells me he had toast and eggs and fruit at the hotel restaurant though! If anything he's the adrenaline junkie, and I'm not, but we both have a huge love for traveling that seems to have been passed down to all 3 of his kids. I'm the one who is daring with food though, especially while traveling. My half-sister hikes and has done so all over the US while my half-brother travels the world fishing...

My mother on the other hand... doesn't care to travel. I took her on a trip to New Orleans to try to change her mind about how she felt about the place she hadn't been to in decades. She remembered a dirty town she rode through as a kid. Most of her memories were tied to my grandfather dragging the entire family from FL to TX straight without stopping. Her memories of TX weren't great either so traveling became something ingrained in her that wasn't fun. She enjoyed her time in NOLA. I'd been there a number of times for Mardi Gras, but never outside of that time. I purposefully took her later, early in the summer to try and avoid the biggest crowds. I showed her my favorite places, found some new ones, ate some GREAT food, got to go to the zoo, and we stayed in the house of an actor who lives in the Garden District instead of a hotel. In the end she loved NOLA.

So I got off topic... The trip to Arizona was great. We had another trip planned again for May of last year - this time without the friend of my father's, but I ended up getting ill again and having surgery to solve all those issues finally which squashed my going out to the cabin. Then the cabin was sold early this year, which saddened me. It was a great place off the grid - quiet, surrounded by nature. Even if the roads needed a serious grading. We are still planning on maybe returning to the area again in the future simply because the area is so neat. Maybe rent a home and stay a week - go to the Grand Canyon and over into New Mexico. I still need to try the pie in Pie Town, NM... and to seek out more fry bread!!

[JuliettaRossi]

So I just moved. Again. This isn't about moving though.

About 6 years ago now I guess, I started having medical issues. I had a doctor who wouldn't really help. She wanted to fix part of the problem, but not the main problem. I was essentially bleeding out. I ended up in the hospital for blood transfusions, had a minor surgery that relieved a small part of the problem, but I continued having most of the problems until they became a huge problem near the end of 2023. I ended up in the hospital a few times for more blood transfusions. I had developed a heart arrhythmia due to low blood volume, blood pressure issues (akin to POTS) and I was so anemic I was barely able to stay awake again just like 5 years previous.

Anyway, this is also not really about that either. Part of the symptoms I was attributing to the anemia and the blood loss was an issue with my hands. I was going through phases with my hands swelling, burning, being really sore and sensitive to heat. I was doing ice baths with my hands throughout the day - keeping a large tupperware container and ice packs at work to switch out as the water warmed up.

I've always had issues with heat bothering my hands but I never connected it to anything more, until this move. Because I had attributed the need for the ice baths to the anemia, and I've not been anemic since surgery last year corrected the problems I had been having for 5 years previous. At nearly the start of the move on Friday, my hands swelled up, turned red and blotchy, tingling and burning and became super sore. But... I had to move, and moving involves LOTS of use of your hands. So, by the middle of the day my hands were so red, they were turning purple. I was taking quick little breaks to run cool water over my hands, but had to keep going.

I also noticed that the back of the roof of my mouth/soft palate was sore and sensitive to anything I ate and to anything warm/hot, so I mostly just had water all day when I remembered to drink anything. We kinda considered that this might be contact dermatitis, but the connection to how the back of my mouth was feeling and I'm not sure if my feet were experiencing the same thing or just angry at the girl who sits at a desk all day, being on her feet all day suddenly. 

The following day we moved some more but not like on Friday - I was honestly having trouble moving lol - my entire body was angry at me. Sunday was cleaning and by the time I was done my hands were super sore again and tingling like crazy. There was more moving today. More sore hands, more ice baths. I've tried Voltaren gel and ibuprofen, but neither have really worked. I'm carrying cold packs in a small cooler with me to try and get the heat in my hands down.

I'm sensitive to anything warm - including sunlight and my own skin. So sitting in the car and I place a hand on my leg - my fingers burn. Getting them in the sunlight coming in the car...they're burning. Going from the car to the store, they're burning from the blazing heat outside. To give you any idea of my usual... I'm ALWAYS cold. Hands, feet, etc...even after not being anemic this long, I still keep a ton of blankets on the couch, a heater at my desk (and yes, I live in FL...), fuzzy socks, etc.

So, like many people... I went to Google. I know I shouldn't. I hate it when others do it (and I have a cousin who is an absolute hypochondriac). I started trying to find out what is going on with me and if I needed to get to the doctor asap or if I could delay until after the move. I have a few more days of moving - a couple more trips with the car and some more cleaning before I'm done. I plan on going to an urgent care once things are done and settled here. I also reached out to my father to see if anyone on his side had any of these kinds of symptoms, since I knew there was nothing like this on my mother's side and was told no.

So...what Goggle popped up with was something called erythromelalgia (EM). It's also called "Burning Man Syndrome." The characteristics are redness & soreness of hands, feet, mucus membranes, ears and/or face. It has no cure, but there are medications that help. It's triggered by heat, stress, exercise, dehydration, spicy foods, and caffeine. It was stupid hot here, so yeah - heat, stress, dehydration, exercise all checked boxes. There are different kinds of EM - In secondary, it's a byproduct or symptom of something else - like Multiple Sclerosis. In primary, it's familial or sporadic.

So, the next step is an urgent care once I'm done moving. Get some medication - hopefully gabapentin to try. I have a muscle relaxer here which I might try in the meantime (since muscle relaxers were on the list of medications for EM). Then request a script to a neurologist to start testing to rule out other things (like MS or as one woman claimed - and I take this, of course, with a HUGE grain of sand - West Nile, which I got a number of years ago while in NY, but I don't know that there is ANY evidence of any link there or just a person on the internet trying to connect dots to the one thing she had years ago) and see if ultimately the evidence does point to EM.

Yay for more medical issues... Either way, hopefully this flare up is abating. My hands and feet are really warm, red and sensitive to heat still. We had dinner last night and I didn't think about it when I ordered, but I got wings... Yeah. not spicy, but warm in temperature, so I had to wait until they got cold before I could eat them. I'm trying to remember to drink - gatorade and water as much as I can remember to drink and soak my hands. Looking forward to seeing a doctor soon to hopefully get answers.

[JuliettaRossi]

So, ever the procrastinator (some of my writing partners know this, and I apologize!)... I still haven't gone to the doctor. Missing a couple days of work has seriously put me underwater at work. I'm drowning in work. So, still super stressed. There are still boxes everywhere. Mostly in a 2nd bedroom so I can just close the door and act like they aren't there for a while. No guests for a while since the bed isn't even put together - the mattress and boxspring are still on their side.

In the meantime. There have been some ups about the new place. The previous people kept a small garden outside. Initially, because of how the houses are situated, I simply assumed it belonged to the person next door. Turns out there is no one home next door - his grandson came by to get the mail and make sure things were ok and I asked about the garden, which the grandson said grandpa does nothing outside, so... not his. So there are some tomato plants, some onions or leeks and some green peppers which are going bonkers. I already cut one off one of the plants - it's beautiful! It will be going in stir fry in the next day or so probably.

This also got my want to garden up again. I still have all my seeds from the years previous and I've been adding to them. So, some potting soil was bought. I have an enclosed back patio and it's pretty private thankfully because the neighbor is driving me bonkers already...

Every time I'm outside he finds a reason to come out and talk and keep me from going inside and it's seriously out of hand already. I dread walking the dog or having to go out to the mailbox... His front door faces mine and there are just a few feet between our houses. He has a hurricane door (glass) and he uses his cat condo thing to prop the regular door open so the cats (and he) can see outside. He has no job and is on disability so he has no one to talk to and nothing to do (yet his mommy lives up the street in the same development). I get it. He's lonely, but... I generally have to get back inside to work. Even a couple minutes away from my computer and my job notices.

Anyway, I'm getting back into gardening. I need to get away from the computer after work and I have a few hours of daylight. Today I repotted some cactus pups pulled from the old house before we moved. I also repotted a plant I got at a local plant and craft show a few months ago. And I've started things from seed again. Today was Parisian carrots, 3 types of basic (sweet, spicy and cinnamon), and some cilantro, along with some bell peppers (including Aloha variety which I love), garlic chives and planted some of the seed from the yellow canna plant from in front of the last house that I collected. I also started some more seeds inside plastic bags. Did you do that little "science experiment" as a kid (or were you NOT raised in the ghetto)? Usually lima beans, placed in a plastic bag with a little bit of paper towel so you can watch the lima bean, which is simply a seed, split and a yellow or white tendril comes out of it - the root system starting, snaking through the minute holes in the paper towel to take root while it grows. Before that it was saving the little milk carton from the lunch milk and planting the lima bean into some soil and leaving it in the window of the classroom to grow... There was no outside garden.

Well a lot of seeds grow really well in plastic bags - some are too tiny and do better with just being placed into soil or those grow pods that swell from hot water. Plus, I can prepare all those bags and seeds inside in the AC! So I've got a few types of beans (2 types of cowpeas/black-eyed beans, dragon tongue beans, lima beans - because I'm still a southern girl, and black beans - because I'm from Miami), watermelon (crimson sweet & sugar baby), tomatoes (marglobe, purple bumble bee, pink brandywine, Oregon spring, rio grande, roma and san marzano), and skyscraper sunflowers - all prepared tonight. I'll work on more tomorrow - more sunflowers, some okra (just for the flowers!), and maybe a pumpkin variety and some more ornamental flowers.

I really miss my sunflowers so I can't wait to get those growing. I'm considering placing some netting along the outside of the patio room to give me even more privacy and so I can grow a bunch of types of morning glories and moon flowers again.

There is an area along the side of the house I may clear out. There's a few very sad looking plants there. I think I could possibly set up some netting between the ground and the eave of the house to maybe plant some cucumbers. Maybe even mix it with some morning glories so it looks pretty.

On another front, I couldn't wait to bake here. The kitchen is quite large compared to the last couple places I've been at. I still haven't unpacked everything and I realized halfway through preparations that I left stuff in the cabinet over the stove at the last house by accident. I was making German cucumber salad (gurkensalat) and realized I was missing 2 of the vinegars I use... So, I'm sure I'll get dinged by the rental agency for leaving stuff behind by accident... I'm too fucking short and completely forgot about the last few bottles up there.

Along with the cucumber salad, I made the pineapple salsa because I haven't had it in ages, and I found a recipe for cheesy grits (from a local restaurant that is known for them) and made that along with a seriously good coconut cake. That was the first thing that started the menu. Everything was for mother's day. Ribs were also made.

The coconut cake was the best part though, if I do say so myself... I short-cut the recipe slightly. I made the coconut filling and the coconut frosting and I toasted the coconut to cover the outside of the cake with. The cake itself... why mess with perfection? I bought Dolly Parton's coconut cake mix and I UP the coconut. Instead of milk, I use coconut milk, I add coconut flake to the batter, along with a healthy amount of homemade coconut rum vanilla extract.

So this weekend will probably be lemon bars and or lemon cake. No lie, Trader Joes has a pretty damn good lemon loaf cake mix. I also doctor this one though. Instead of ANY water, I used lemon juice - fresh squeezed. Same in the icing. I also use a microplane to zest all the lemons and use a good portion of that in the batter as well.

I also have I think 5 gallons of mulberries... I'm gonna have to start using them, so I see a crumble or buckle or cobbler in the future...

[JuliettaRossi]

Had a flare-up with my hands after going out in the Florida heat for a little while Thursday. Ended up at the urgent care today after a night of literally clutching ice packs all night. It made for very little sleep and still... my hands were swollen and sore this morning. So... after I got the most important part of my job done at work, I ran out to the urgent care. I carried an ice pack and had a small cooler with more packs in it just in case there was a wait. Thankfully, no wait.

Saw a couple people. Explained the situation a few times. They were all of course, hesitant to give a name to what I might have, which I completely understand since there has been no testing for it at this point - just symptoms. I was hoping for maybe a little medication and they ended up prescribing prednisone and a referral to another doctor. They dropped the diagnosis of Reynad's out there, which I'm near certain this isn't because they symptoms are the opposite, but both are under the same neurological condition umbrella so to speak. I think the doc was also trying to ensure I wasn't having issues liken with MS which this can be a 'companion' of. No hand cramping, no erratic movements, no balance issues or dizziness or pain with movement of my neck.

They checked my throat and notated there was redness and swelling, but I have no sore throat. Just an issue with heat and a slight cough every so often because I feel like my throat is closed a little and there's a slight tickle.

Sitting on the couch, watching tv, I was burning up - my hands, my feet, all of me - just a short time ago. I decided a cold bath will help so that's where I am currently. Complete with cold pack and ice in the tub.

Maybe the cold springs will be in the cards soon. Or a pool. I really wanna go to the beach but I feel like I might vamp right there on the sand and burn up to a bit of charcoal dust in the sunlight.

So until I can get into the next doc, it's ice baths it looks like...

[JuliettaRossi]

I've delved back into gardening. As much as possible without staying too long in the heat here, which has been wicked lately. I'm not trying to have another flare up with my hands and they have been "tight" for the past few days so I've been trying to limit my time out on the patio to 15-20 minutes at most a time.  With work being crazy I've really only been able to put in a little bit of time after work and before it gets dark.

Some of my prep work can be done inside. For that I use a lot of small snack sized baggies and paper. I used to use paper towel, but realized that the delicate roots that sprouted took a little more work to dislodge from the tight woven fibers. This time, I've started using 2 pieces of toilet paper. Yes, toilet paper. It breaks apart easy instead of damaging the delicate roots of some of the sprouted seeds. This I can do while I'm inside at night watching tv or listening to music. I label the bag, put the toilet paper inside and soak it with sprays of water and then place the seeds. This creates a little greenhouse type situation.

I have a huge 3-ring binder filled with plastic baseball card sleeves. I cut down the seed packaging to fit into the sleeves and the seeds in a small plastic baggie (like 1x1.5") labeled with what is in each little package. Keep in mind...this picture was taken on 5/17.

So in the binder I have YEARS of accumulated seeds. There is a mind that says seeds expire in a year if not kept under optimal conditions (like the seed bank in Norway). My seeds are kept at room temp, in plastic. Nothing special. The organization is for my own OCD.

I have started I don't know how many types of seeds at this point. If you want satisfying seeds... beans are probably the best. You can literally watch them grow inches a day. It's insane how quick they grow. So once they sprout in the snack baggie, they are switched to potting soil. I like making my own, but haven't had the time or inclination yet this growing season. Instead I bought this awful bagged stuff. I like mixing coconut coir, Jiffy seed starting mix, vermiculite and perlite. The bagged stuff, while quick, it mostly wood chip, sticks, rocks and sometimes bits of plastic and glass... not great for delving your hands into and it is REALLY hard for seeds to break the surface of. It ends up being really hard  and not great. You also never know what chemicals are used on this stuff prior to you getting it. I'm using it because it's what I have, but I've already seen problems with it in the week or so I've been using it.

So, back to the beans. I told you they grow quick. I'm not exaggerating. I started 4 types on the same day - Dragon Tongue, Pink Hull Cowpeas, Black Eyed Peas/Cowpeas, and Black Beans.

So this was the start of the day on 5/19



And this... is 5 days later on 5/24. This is why I say that beans probably offer the most visual evidence that you can be successful gardening lol

I have more than just beans growing of course. There are several types of tomatoes, watermelon, okra, a few types of basil, cilantro, dill, parsley, sunflowers, zinnia, canna, bell peppers. I have seeds for even more started - more types of flowers: borage, bee balm, more zinnia, swamp hibiscus and more, as well as more tomatoes, peppers, pumpkins, sunflowers and watermelons.

I made some of my lemon bars a couple days ago. They are so good. I've had 4 lemons sitting in the kitchen glaring at me for like a week. I just haven't had the inclination or energy to do the things to make them. They aren't hard. I've just been exhausted with work.

I'm including the recipe for them. The crust is special. It's soft and slightly sweet due to confectioners sugar. Don't use bottled lemon juice and don't expect these to be neon yellow from dye. And this can be altered to make other things like key lime bars. I zest all my fruit after washing it with a microplane and any extra zest is kept in the freezer.

After making them I also realized I had a jar of Bonne Maman Lemon curd and some vanilla ice cream in the freezer, so I cut up/crushed up a lemon bar and added a healthy dollop of lemon curd to a small bowl of ice cream and mixed it well. Very tasty....

Crust
  2 cups flour
  1/2 cup confectioners' sugar
  1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature, cut into tablespoons

Filling
  4 large eggs
  2 cups granulated sugar
  1/4 cup flour
  1 tsp baking powder
  1/2 cup lemon juice (3 large lemons)
    Zest of 1 lemon

Confectioners' sugar for dusting

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Make the crust: In a large bowl blend together the flour, confectioners' sugar and butter until crumbly. With lightly floured hands, press the mixture evenly into the bottom and up the sides of a 9x13-inch glass dish (about 1/2 inch). Bake for 20-25 minutes, until golden brown.
3. Make the filling: In a large bowl, lightly beat the eggs and mix in the sugar, flour, baking powder and lemon juice and zest. Set aside.
4. Remove the crust from the oven, quickly remix the filling and pour over the warm crust. Return it to the oven and bake for 25-30 minutes, until the top is a light golden brown. Let cool in the pan on a wire rack.
5. Just before serving, sprinkle the top with the confectioners sugar through a strainer or a sifter spoon. Cut into bars.

[JuliettaRossi]

So... everything is dead. All the plants I started (except the elephant ears which love neglect) are dead. I couldn't keep up with it. I've been super overloaded with work (end of the month sucks!), and it's been crazy hot here and just going outside is causing problems. But Jules, are you ever gonna do anything about it? It must suck living in Florida when you can't tolerate ANY heat? Why yes.... I have am appointment finally with a neurologist. Hopefully I can start getting this handled. And yes, it does suck. Today was garage sale day... I literally just got out of an ice bath because my entire body started turning red and my hands and feet started to swell. My throat is tight as well and all I'm drinking is cold things. I felt like my entire body was on fire by the end of the stupid garage sale and I stayed IN the garage and barely went out in the sunshine.

Tomorrow is my mom's birthday. I'm making her a peach upside down cake as well as some various biscotti (because she loves biscotti). She's really hard to buy for so I make a slab of ribs and sweet corn casserole as well.

Last weekend the neighbors were grilling and we swapped lol - he made the best BBQ wings I've ever had and I made little bundt cakes - pineapple upside down and lemon blueberry. I saved one of the pineapple upside down cakes and mashed it up with some pineapple jam and vanilla ice cream and added a few more cherries a day later(OMG). Well worth the trade. They are opening up a restaurant here soon and I know what I'll be getting when I go...

 

I'm still here with an insanely bad case of writers block. I've tried sitting down to write so many times and it's nearly painful. Work has simply killed me these past few months, but...allegedly things are changing on 7/1 and they will be moving a ton of files off me, lowering my file count (I think I was at 165 on Friday) back to a max of 135. I should be able to get more closures done to bring me down further by the end of next month and instead of multiple accounts (I think I'm at 9 or 10 clients) I will be 'dedicated' to one client but covering more states, so a trade off but one I'll be able to handle.

So to recap...
Plants are dead...
Cakes... Wings...
Work sucks...
Overheating in Florida...

[CloudyToxin]

Gorgeous cakes ~ this whole thread is beautiful, in fact... I feel like I've been swept away to some cozy homely home from The Hobbit! As long as I can read the thread from my nice air conditioned home, of course.

Thanks for the read, and I hope your work and temperature work themselves out soon :S thinking chilly thoughts for you!

As beautiful as your thread is, I feel you should not be afraid to share photos of the graveyard! It's Elliquiy, not Instagram, we won't judge :) (and we already envy! )

[JuliettaRossi]

@CloudyToxin thank you for the compliments!

So it's been a month.

I went to the neurologist. That was a waste outside of getting a new script (good for a year) for more Nurtec for my migraines. He listened to my issues, but somehow didn't listen. He wrote off what I think I might have saying "never heard of it," while simultaneously googling porphyria and it's symptoms. Then said he doesn't treat porphyria (which I knew I didn't have and at that point it was just a wait to get out of his office) and he referred me to dermatology.

I went to the dermatologist. He nearly laughed when I told him the neuro claimed I likely had porphyria. He then said I do not have porphyria, which I already knew. He checked a couple spots on my pale skin and declared me good to go. He recommended I try to see a rheumatologist or another neurologist for further workup. I'm going to go the route of rheumatologist next I think.

My hands have been pretty bad lately. I went out last weekend to the local dungeon for a shopping day event and then had a pretty good flare up after the heat. The increase in work load hasn't helped either. I traded one disaster for another at work unknowingly (but par for the course where I work), so the stress level has been attributing to my issues with my hands. When I woke up this morning I could barely move my left hand. Everything hurt. So I started icing and soaking my hands first thing. I ended up going out with my mom to do a little shopping and even with bringing ice packs and using them while out my hands hurt. When I got home I was wiped out and slept for two hours. I did the same thing last weekend when I went out  - when I got home I was exhausted and I slept and slept.

So still not able to go out and do any gardening. One of the pineapples ripened enough to cut. After I don't know how many years (and pineapple plants getting stolen) I'm finally able to harvest my first pineapple. It's absolutely adorable. I have 2 more growing. I have another pineapple top to stick in some dirt that I've been soaking to root. I'll cut the top off the one I just harvested and root it and then plant it too.

 

The peach upside down cake came out okay. Nothing amazing. Yellow cling peaches would have been better than the white peaches the store had. They have a much lighter flavor than yellow cling.

 

I also made espresso cookies. They turned out a bit different from when I made them a couple years ago. I dunno why, but they were still amazing. I don't know how an overload of espresso could make anything taste like peanut butter sugar cookies, but... yeah lol with a hint of coffee... And when I say overload of espresso, I mean I used espresso vanilla extract, straight fresh brewed espresso, and espresso powder and still the coffee flavor was light. The kitchen smelled ah-maz-ing though! (If you watch Archer, say it right!)

Mom loved the biscotti and then gave me a huge bag of pistachios with the request that I make more biscotti and/or something with pistachios. I haven't been able to bake anything lately though. It's far too hot here to consider cranking up the oven and dealing with heat with my hands, but depending on how I feel tomorrow, maybe I'll do it then.

Some random nature photos
  
A huge butterfly at the hibiscus bush outside, a squirrel hanging out outside the window next to my desk, and the spider - it was giant, outside the front door a couple nights ago. I wish I could have gotten a better photo. The web was amazing and spanned the entire front entry way. It was gone by morning.

[JuliettaRossi]

So yeah.... behind on posting for everything. Behind in responses to partners. Time between posts drawing out. My muse has been virtually feeling as if it's held underwater due to work and migraines. I'm having issues with my hands again, but not to the extent (yet) that I was before. Just random "I'm soooooooo hot" with my hands and feet and stopping long enough to realize my hands are red and I need to get out of my shoes NOW and... yeah, my throat hurts. Meh. 

Work has sucked. Generally the holidays are a "slow" time in the industry I work in, but not so this year, so even taking time "off" wasn't time off. I was still working daily despite being on PTO - just like everyone else I work with. Not enough employees and management won't hire more because (motioning to the general state of the Onion)... 

I baked for the holidays as per usual. I think my favorite thing was my hazelnut crust pumpkin pie with marshmallow topping, which was a new one this year. I topped it with homemade marshmallow and torched it on top at dinner. I also tried my hand at kugel using a family recipe which was actually the recipe from a Miami Beach restaurant ages ago. I generally dislike kugel, but warm and topped with salted caramel sauce... wasn't bad. I had "leftover" custard, despite filling the huge container to the top - and watching it rise with a little bit of alarm, so brioche was bought and torn up and put into a different smaller container with the remaining custard poured over top. I liked it much better than the noodles. I think it's a brain block honestly - noodles in my head shouldn't be sweet.

This all brings me to a prompt I found on another thread...

"Tell her to stop feeding everyone" 
"I can't. It's part of her DNA."

And yeah... I bake as part of my love language. I enjoy feeding people. I enjoy seeing smiles and enjoyment in what I make. Surprise at something. Anticipation for something that is a once-a-year treat, like my spice cookies and pumpkin dip. My family has come to expect that every year, at Thanksgiving, there will be a huge tray of sugar-coated spice cookies with a ceramic bowl of pumpkin dip in the middle. Those who have never had a homemade marshmallow stare at a pile of them and ask "how do you make them!!" just to become a convert to once you have one you will never enjoy store bought marshmallows again. 

It's part of me. My mother says I inherited my grandmother's creativity and craftiness. Cooking, sewing, all kinds of crafts - I have too many hobbies to get into. I think my grandmother would have done more if not for the arthritis in her hands. I also credit knowing so many creative people in my life, especially through the renaissance festivals I worked at - glass blowers, leatherworkers, seamstresses, musicians, jewelers, acrobats, etc. I dipped my toes, at least, into as many things as possible, always looking for the next creative outlet, but I've always found enjoyment in baking. It's what is always a constant. 

It's not an exaggeration. I take a week off at Thanksgiving to give myself enough time to shop, plan, prep, bake and cook everything for our family gathering. Everything has essentially fallen to my cousin and I. He makes the turkeys (usually at least 2-3, and possibly a ham) and his wife makes a cauliflower mash I adore. There is always a charcuterie board their daughter makes. Everything else is made by me for the most part. For the past couple/few years, our Thanksgiving has grown exponentially with the addition of his wife's family. They are amazing and fun. Her cousin is a chef and he made a stuffing I love with cranberries and carrots and bacon and a mac & cheese to die for. I generally hate homemade mac & cheese... it's always greasy or flavorless or the macaroni has been cooked to mush. Give me the box crap (I prefer Walmart's gouda mac).

I end up making homemade cranberry sauce because its yummy. Why are you buying the crap in a can? It's soooo easy and makes the house smell amazing. I made a double batch this year and used it after Thanksgiving to make cranberry muffins for mom. I also make a sweet corn casserole that everyone enjoys. There was none left over this year, which is always a good feeling. Nantucket (cranberry) pie was made. A pumpkin roll was made, which was ultimately just sent to mom's since I make it for her. Stuffing, potatoes and gravy, the regular suspects. I also made cookies & cream marshmallows and toasted coconut marshmallows. When I say I take a week off.... I'm still baking until it's time to walk out the damn door.

Christmas has become less a gathering for us, so less was made this year. Everyone is kinda scattered to the winds. So, no gingerbread. No pfefferneusse. No rum ballsNo peppermint bark cheesecake. No eggnog bundt. No Italian amaretti. I usually make at least a half-dozen different types of cookies for Christmas. This year I made only some soft chocolate chip cookies.

I made mom some homemade biscotti. I made another Nantucket pie because she enjoys that. I made the kugel. Mom came over and we made the cookies she likes with cranberries and pecans and white chocolate chips. 

I'm making mom another batch of biscotti right now. Pistachio and cranberry. Yeah... there's a LOT of use of cranberries here lol 

Baking has always been my way of showing my love. If I bake for you, I consider you family. Pineapple cookies for my uncle (he's like a father to me) and pineapple upside down cake is my go-to for get-togethers through the year. Cupcakes are a favorite and I get to play with flavors. I tried my hand at French macarons, but Florida sucks with humidity and macarons don't work well here. Banana bread with chocolate chips is a favorite as well.

My mom and my aunt and uncle talk about the things my grandmother used to make with fondness. I like to think I keep some of that family tradition alive. 

[JuliettaRossi]

I was going to put off working on the second prompt until later, but last night was rough and I needed an outlet after passing out after work and waking around 10:30 pm. A warm bath. Washed hair. My neck hurts. That's a story for another time perhaps. I've been fighting a migraine since about 4:30 am yesterday, tingling in my neck, blurred vision. On the heating pad for a couple hours and medication and back to sleep again for a few hours before work which also sucked. Trying to read screens when every time you move your eyes/head, your vision blurs again. No fun. 

So onto the prompt. The other prompt offered up was:

"How do you remember that? You were very unconscious at the time."

So... I had surgery while I was in high school - between freshman and sophomore year. The surgery isn't the ultimate point. It was a new surgery - I'm written up in some medical journal somewhere for it. It was a collab with 3 docs. Post surgery wasn't great. I had multiple complications, one of which, would send me back in for a follow up surgery a week later with the one surgeon who had hands like a damn basketball player. He couldn't "get in" through the original surgical point, so a long cut was made to accommodate his hands. 

Recovery was months long. In the end it caused more problems, but as stated, the surgery(ies) aren't the point here.

I didn't find out until years later while we were talking about my surgery with family members at a holiday gathering (because don't you recount the trials and tribulations of your offspring at festive events??) that there was another family in the waiting room with mine. The other family was Cuban. A large gathering of people to support their loved one. I'm not even sure who was in the waiting room for me other than my mom and my uncle. Possibly a couple cousins, maybe an aunt. 

There was a code blue called.

At some point, I was told, a doctor came out and both their family and mine looked up. The doctor had that look - you know the one. You've seen it in tv shows and movies. Someone wasn't going home. It was of course, the loved one of the other family. 

The people that had gathered for him wailed and cried and held one another I was told. My mother said she felt guilt and relief all at once. It wasn't me.

He died. He didn't make it through. Only... he did. He made it through surgery. He was in recovery. Next to me.

It was at that point I mentioned that fact. He was to the right of me in the recovery room. I watched him die. 

There has never been any emotion tied to this for me. I can't explain that other than I was still under anesthesia - I think early in the stages of coming out of it. It wasn't like I could have done anything from my bed. The room was a half moon shape, each of us pointed away like spokes on a wheel, the diameter of glass with nurses and doctors able to observe and monitor vital signs. He coded and they ran. They surrounded him. They worked on him. They gave him CPR, they intubated him. Someone was using a bag on him. It was frantic and quick and crowded. 

I remember turning my head to the right to watch like a dream. I watched them work. I watched them try. In the end he didn't make it. He died next to me. 

When I told them I watched him pass, my mother was in shock. She didn't realize I witnessed it. That I was next to him. This was years after my surgery at this point. I had never talked about it. It was always there. In my mind. A piece of my surgery locked away in my memory. There was no emotion connected to it. It just was. It happened. I didn't know him. I didn't sit in the waiting room for hours with his family. 

There's a shared trauma for those in waiting rooms. The unknown, hours passing. Worry, tears, hope, perhaps prayer. I don't know what he was in the hospital for. Was it planned? Was it sudden? Was it violent? How old was he? A life gone with the announcement of a code blue. 

 The last time I could recall a code blue was my grandmother. The same one I talked about in my previous post. I was far too young when she passed. I should have had more time with her. I remember being little and she was in the hospital. The doctors told my mom she would be okay. The concern was that we had a planned vacation. We would stay, but they told us she would be okay... So we traveled north to see my aunt and uncle in NC. No sooner had we arrived, there was a call. We needed to return. She took a turn for the worse. 

We all frantically traveled back to South Florida. It was late when we got in. Past visiting hours. Everyone was exhausted. We would go in the morning. 

I remember my mom waking me. We had to go. NOW. No one called her. There had been no notification of anything frantic. On the way to the hospital she told me she had a dream - her mom and grandmother together telling her she need to go now. There was no time.

It was still dark out. I don't know how early it was. We got to the hospital, up to the floor she was on. We got to the point where I could see the room. The partially open door, the window that looked in on her from the hall. She coded before we got to the room. Steps from her. We never got to say good bye. The nurses and doctors rushed the room. She should have had more time. Her body just couldn't take one more day. It was later that we found out that the invasive technique the doctors convinced my mom and uncle to agree to would have - at most, maybe, given her 6 months and it was rough and painful for her. They never disclosed those facts when providing options, prior to doing the procedure. 

My immediate family has never been religious. I was raised Lutheran. Christian-Lite. I went to Sunday school and then church after with mom. The man who was the pastor married my aunt and uncle, my cousin and his soon to be ex. He baptized all the kids in our family. I however asked questions. Questions the Sunday school teacher was uncomfortable with. I was the Doubting Thomas. Mom was called in to discuss my questions. I quickly lost any kind of faith, but never the interest in religions. 

I studied them in school. As a sociology major, religion is key to a society and integral too understanding it. So I studied all kinds of religions (along with languages, foods, traditions, etc). My mother was still adjusting to my lack of faith. My curiosity with random religions. Yeah, I went through that whole teenage witch thing. I'm not going to call it a phase. I don't think it ever went away. It morphed and changed. I still have my pentacle put away in a special box, I still have my crystals and candles, goblet and athame. I learned about alternate faiths, took religious courses in college, met and talked with people of different backgrounds and faiths. I say all this to the point of the dream my mother had. The way I was able to observe what happened next to me in the recovery room.

I never believed there was one true anything as far as faith. There is no one right way. Other than to be kind, be understanding, listen. Help and support where you can. In Wicca there is a saying "It harm none, do what you will." There are differing ways of saying it. Essentially as long as it harms no one, it's good and that spoke to me. Each religion has it's good and bad, the "crazier" aspects and those based in history and reality (ahem...the flood). In college I went to a Unitarian church a couple of times. It was the closest to relaxed and accepting I've ever seen. It was strange to be in a church and not hear the word GOD thrown and bantered about as if the people in the room knew for a certainty what they were talking about. Ultimately it just ended up feeling like Lutheranism complete with the colorful banners and symbols and rituals without using the words God or Jesus. 

As a child I was interested in dinosaurs and crystals and ghosts and all these things the church told my mother were not right. My favorite books as a kid - I still have them, were called The Ghostly Register. Yeah I was a strange kid.... They are listings by state of ghostly phenomenon. I had my favorites - The doll in Key West - Robert. The Toys-R-Us in California where they would open the store in the morning and find toys that had been put away the night before out in the aisles as if children had been playing all night. The bar in Florida (probably only because I felt it was so close I might be able to one day visit it) that had also been a boarding house where there were multiple ghosts. I believed in phenomenon. Strange things. Past Lives. Have my own thoughts about "Invisible Friends." (And yes, I had one as a child.) Energy. As in physics, energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed from one form to another. It's all energy. 

There is a tradition - Irish, Scandinavian - brought from the Old Country to the US. It made sense to me when I first heard it. You open the windows and doors when someone dies. You let their energy out. It allows for a peaceful transition. Don't trap a soul to a place. 

Physics, folk lore, religion, all tell us that energy transforms, morphs, restructures, but never goes away. Certain religions believe that their loved ones look down on them in the afterlife. (Reassuring or creepy is your call.) Other religions believe in a version of inheritance or progression, like in Buddhism. Working toward Nirvana. That energy you had transforms, passes somehow.

Was it my great grandmother talking to my mom? Was I watching the soul of the man on the bed next to mine leave? Was it the trapped spirits of children playing in the toy store? Can a spirit inhabit a doll? Can religion control a energy's path? 

[JuliettaRossi]

It's festival season here. Before the sun and rain steam cook the state again. For the first few months the state is overwhelmed with things to do - art festivals, carnivals, renaissance festivals, music events, the starting of a new season of farmers markets, etc.  There is usually so much going on you can't do it all. The fact that we decided we were participating in winter this year didn't help matters much. The cold kept people in. The rain and wind that accompanied it ruined some festivals and events.

So far this year I've attended a few art shows and got out of the house a bit, which has been nice. Got to meet some artists (including one that we discovered while chatting is a relative, which was cool) while out and discuss art techniques and their evolution with design and the changing concepts they work with. How light influences the way a painting is viewed - placement in a home and the way the sun and time of day changes a work. Use of mixed media, seashells, copper, acidic compounds, oils, alcohol and acrylics, crocheted metal, burnished leather, turned exotic woods. Beautiful bits of larimar, moonstone and turquoise. Bright red enamel. Ivory piano keys made into jewelry. Watercolor splashes and blocked hues coming together to create a cohesive image.



I enjoy art festival season if you couldn't tell.

I've also decided I'm tired of being an onlooker again. I miss being creative, having access to all those creative outlets I've invested in over the years. I dabble in so much, have a million "hobbies" but never really do much with them. I don't want to sit in a booth really. I've been there, done that. I want to create.

I've been watching a lot of videos lately (yay...technology...) of preservation and conservation of old paintings and posters. I'd love to be able to do this, but it takes going back to school (not a deal breaker, but I have a full time and often more than full time job and I don't live close enough to the locations I would need to go to for interning for either of these things) and an investment of at least a few years. The outcome would be earning far less than I do now. If I wanted to earn anything near what I'm making now I would need to move to a larger city (think Chicago, New York, LA, etc) which I'm not willing to do at this time.

So... some of the videos that popped up in between the conservation videos and random comedy clips were some videos of chalk/pastel art. Sidewalk art. There are festivals devoted to it alone. Disney invites artists during their Festival of the Arts to come and create soft pastel masterpieces along the walkways at Epcot. This is of course, by invite only or through rigorous application processes. I've been to Epcot a number of times and always enjoyed the art there during this festival (it's one of the best festivals they have there next to the Food & Wine Festival and the holiday events they have).

In the meantime there are other festivals throughout the state for chalk art. We ended up at one last weekend in downtown Orlando. I got to watch people at work, see what their setups were, what supplies they brought - not just the chalks but all the other things. Artists are often at a festival from 7-8 am until 5pm or later working on art. Kneepads (insert giggle here you pervs), a garden kneeling pad, yoga mats, etc; how supplies are stored in different toolboxes and containers, separated by color from high chunky blocks of chalk to thin delicate little pieces of fine art soft pastels, hair spray for fixative, water bottles and bowls to wet the pastels  and create a more paint-like texture, tempura paints (which aren't allowed at some shows) in black and white to create a deeper depth of color in large portions; carpet squares and cloths and pieces of pool noodle and sponges to help rub in the chalk dust and soften edges and blend colors; gloves, baby wipes, brushes, brooms to sweep the area before you get ready, chalk line to help with grid work, and of course, the design in a plastic sheet protector/on some sort of device you can keep powered. The advantages/disadvantages of placement, sun vs shade and bringing something to cover up with/UV clothing, sunscreen, etc.



It's not enough to read about the how to or watch videos. I've seen chalk art in action (slow and deliberate and exacting while also smudging edges) - a changeable medium that can be and often is washed away with a bit of water. It doesn't last but in the photos and memories of people who have come to see the work. The artists aren't "known." I've never cared about a name - that is never the goal. The goal is to create something someone might smile when seeing. To make something that someone can connect to. Enjoy. A visual feast.

After the chalk festival I went to a local art shop and spent a good portion of time kicking myself for never allowing myself to go there before now. The shop is amazing and I've always wanted to go, but never had the money to spend. I came home with boxes of soft pastels and sidewalk chalks. I know I have a few boxes of chalks in the spare room, but it's been a wreck since we moved in. I tried tearing it apart to find the chalks, but ended up finding almost all the other things I've been looking for and not the chalks. I found some old sketch books from college, paint brushes, the plastic sheeting to put into the book nooks I've put together to keep out the dust, my soldering box from when I worked on stained glass once upon a time so I can now fix the bad soldering job on mom's lamp. I even found some old computer games on CD...

I need to get back in there and tear up the room again since I couldn't get to one corner due to the size of the bed and the bench at the end of the bed taking up nearly all the space in the room along with the dresser and craft table. I have a bit of a path between the bench and dresser and then alone one side of the bed, but I stacked a row of boxes along the wall when moving in on the other side of the bed I can't really get to stat I need to go through, if for nothing more than purging stuff I'm not using that I quickly packed at the last place.

So with the things I found including my old art toolbox from college, I was able to sit and work on the start of an initial chalk work of a yellow duckling on a blue background with green lily pads.  So far, so good. I'm aiming to hopefully be able to apply for the chalk show at the end of the month and if not that one, then there is one the following month (which may be more realistic).

I need to contact the HOA here to see if they will allow me to work on the sidewalk outside (with the caveat that I will clean it up after - including pressure washing if need be). The one thing holding me back is the creepy-ass neighbor who has been giving us trouble the past couple months - including calling the rental agency and HOA to try and have us evicted because he doesn't like us. If you know nothing else about him, he's a "rule follower" as long as he enjoys the rules and the superiority complex of getting to tattle on people. He's trying to "recruit" neighbors against us which isn't working for him since we have all hung out and together and like one another. He doesn't like animals - which is a huge red flag for me. He evicted the squirrels from their makeshift home by claiming he was building a flower box/planter but all he did was nail 2x4s over top of where the squirrels were living after the HOA took down the tree they were living in. The 2x4s are a bigger eye sore and it's communal space (where the utility boxes are) - which he probably shouldn't be touching because... utility boxes. I won't get into the other creepy shit, but he's videoing us and watching us constantly which doesn't make me happy because I'm home alone all day and he weirds me the fuck out.  I used to enjoy gardening but I can't go outside because there he is. Things have escalated to the point where we had to call the police on him a couple weeks ago, so at least I have a police report on file against him.

The other option is to chalk at mom's but also - there is an HOA there too, so I would need permission probably. I also wouldn't be at home there. I can put in my earbuds and work. I just need the space and permission to do so. I don't have much downtime other than late at night, so being right out in front of the house would be perfect of course so I can come in when the mosquitoes attempt to fly off with me.

We shall see if my practicing and prep is relegated only to sketchpads or if I can get some time outside in the sunshine and fresh air (away from creepy-ass neighbor hopefully).

[JuliettaRossi]

So... sick. Again. With the bronchitis. Again. I've been away from here mostly due to that. I have had enough energy to make it through the work day and then collapse on the couch and sleep. Some days not even that. I took a near 2 hour nap one day in the middle of work because I just couldn't function. Enter Sudafed. Normally I don't use it, but this round of bronchitis has been bad and Sudafed was the only thing that cleared my head enough for me to work and gave me that meth-type energy enough to get through a day of work. Also, Tessalon pearles. If you have bronchial/upper respiratory issues,  those are gold.

I havent gotten much of anything done over the past couple weeks. Between coughing I've slept when I can.  Watched a lot of tv. Lived on the couch. Gatorade snd cough drops and some Tom Kha Gai soup. I'm sorry if I owe you a post. I just don't feel "it" when sick like this. 

I did finish my duckling picture.  I got auth from the HOA and the rental agency we have the house through today.  Also got auth to chalk at mom's if I want. The caveat is that I must submit a picture of what I'm creating to one of the HOA people and I must clean the area ASAP when done.  Whatever.  

I also checked out the ONE art supply store here. God I hate living in the middle of nowhere sometimes.... It's literally a mom and son operation. She used to teach dance in the same spot but she's older now and her son who had a much smaller shop next door took over the studio space and made an art store and frame shop and apparently a little work area for himself in the back. The prices aren't bad and they have great customer service. He even brought out a product and showed me how to use it and let me play with it when I had questions about it. Try having someone spend that time or get that hands-on at Michaels or something... Bought more chalk - the only pack they had that wasnt the fine art stuff. They only had a few options with soft pastels. Most of it was geared toward fine art and oil pastels because that's what the rich ladies out here do apparently- there's even a pastels group but they only work in oils (which I could easily get into but it's even more expensive).

I also moved on to a second piece.  Larger, about half the size of what I will be working on at an upcoming chalk festival. I wanted to see how long it would take me, but again... still sick,  plus breaks and distractions of being in the house, which I won't of course have when I'm outside at a festival. When it was done I was pretty happy with it.

I evicted items from a crafting toolbox in the spare bedroom (a short stint doing needlefelting to make a mobile for one of my cousins when they were having a baby - it was woodland creature themed so I learned needlefelting to make them a mobile to hang over the crib) and I've filled it with clear plastic storage cubes of chalk separated by color, nitrile gloves, a pair of fingerless, padded work gloves, coban and medical tape for my fingertips, foam and dry eraser squares for blending, paintbrushes and cups for water, and a metal ruler. I'll have a separate bag for a spray bottle for water, yard stick, chalk line for grid work, hair spray for fixative, sunscreen, lip gloss, uv sleeves, and some other things I might need. 

I'm planning on getting outside over the next few days after work for a little while to actually get into work on concrete so I'm not "surprised" by anything when I get to the competition. I also have a pop-up canopy I might bring for shade dependent on where I'm set up outside. I'll also be bringing a cooler with drinks and snacks and such, but also those all-important cold packs in case my hands decide to freak out again with the erythromelalgia. 

I know I'll pay for doing this - between my hands and feet reacting to the heat and the simple exertion of being used. I'm not used to simply giving in to not being able to use my hands but this causes them to burn and hurt so much and swell to the point where I just can't use my hands at all. I may soak them for a few days leading up to this as well. Just chalking yesterday while inside my right hand is a little swollen and meh on the happiness scale. A little tight and stiff. Add heat and rough concrete and the stress of finishing something under a time constraint and I imagine things will be a bit worse.

I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to chalk as well. I have a few ideas and my Pinterest is now overflowing with picture ideas so narrowing this down is going to be a little harder. I'm trying to stick to a beachy/ocean creature theme to this because of where it is, but I haven't decided yet. We will see...

[JuliettaRossi]

So post show. I learned a lot. I brought a lot more than I needed and was missing some things as well. I thankfully had plenty of chalk to finish my piece. 

The drive out was about an hour and a half. Chalking began just after 8am (yes, of course I was late) and went until 3pm. I was set up in front a restaurant that had outdoor seating and later a live musician playing. The rain stopped earlier in the morning so things were still a little damp, but the sidewalk was good and I didn't end up needing my canopy. The day remained overcast and dreary with a slight coolness in the air and a bit of wind. Better than being out in the heat - especially since I forgot my sunhat.

It didn't take long for me to realize that the gardening kneeling mat was not working for me and I would be paying for this on Sunday.

I worked barefoot because it just seemed natural to do and I wasn't the only one out there barefoot.

This was a different sore. Bent/doubled over for HOURS, on my knees, bending, stretching, leaning, oh my lack of upper body strength showed up around hour 3, leaning on my left hand while stretched across my concrete canvas, trying not to smudge too much while laying down another layer of chalk that was blowing up and being assaulted by leaves. Thankfully I brought the ibuprofen. 

I didn't eat until after the event was over. I got through my coffee at the end of the show. I need to remember to hydrate. And sunscreen. I brought it, but didn't use it because it was soooo cloudy. Lip gloss - my lips were chapped a bit by the end. And tissues. I was still sick which was SOOOO much fun while doing this. I was smudged in blue and green all over the place. I was wearing it on my clothes and feet and arms and face. You could definitely tell I was one of the working artists when I finally got up to run through the festival at the end - to stretch my legs and finally see what everyone else was working on.

There were a number of amazing artists there. The woman next to me won one of the awards. I had no expectation of winning a damn thing. This was literally the first time I've chalked on sidewalk since I was a kid. I never got outside to practice due to being sick and waiting for the HOA to respond. I got lots of compliments which was amazing. And people like turtles (my chalking subject)... 

Lessons -  
 - Glad I brought coban for my fingertips. I have padded gloves that saved my hands from most of the abrasions from the concrete. I've ordered fingertip covers instead of the coban, but the coban helped bring up the chalk to then allow me to blend the colors.
- Bring something more than the gardening pad. I now have an anti-fatigue floor mat (like for the kitchen) and will be bringing a fluffy blanket that can just be tossed into the washer when I'm done along with my chalky clothing. Also, use the damn kneepads...
- Remember the sun hat. The next show (this weekend!) might not be so cool and pleasant to work at
- Hydrate. Eat something. Get up and walk around a little. Stretch. Preemptory ibuprofen. Remember to put an ice cube in the coffee so it doesn't stay burning hot during the entire drive.... it was waaaaay too early for me to be functioning.
- Spend less time on gridding my piece and don't grid so small. My neighbors were done and chalking color quick. I spent (wasted) a lot of time gridding and outlining until my brain finally kicked me and told me to stop...
- Hydrate.
- Put in at least one ear bud. While this event I was right next to a woman who brought some good music, and then there was the live musician who wasn't great, but meh... it was fine, other shows will not be like this and I will need music to get me through. There were a LOT of distractions - people, dogs, random noises.
- Simplify the art. I spent far too much time on details and missed being able to put in the water movement and details I would have liked. I did get the shading in and got a lot of compliments on that, but I would have been "happier" if I was able to get the water details in. Something a little more focused and not "as busy" will work next time. I considered this when submitting for the show this weekend. Until I'm faster at this, the detailing will need to be decreased. 
- Wear more comfortable clothing! Doubled over at the waist in jeans wasn't fun. 

The show this weekend is a little further away which means I'll have to be up even earlier. I only got an hour of sleep before Saturday's event which didn't help matters. I'm also staying overnight in a hotel because there is another chalk festival a couple towns away the following day I'm only going to go walk through. I didn't see a way to sign up for it online, so I'll check with them there for next year. 

I signed up for four more shows before summer kicks in. There are no art shows during the summer here for damn good reason. The latest chalk show here is the start of May and that might be waaaay too hot. I just have to wait and see if I get accepted. I know I'm past the deadline for one and might be for another. There will also be more events later this year - at least 2-4 more but they haven't announced dates yet, so I just have to wait and watch social media for application link announcements. Depending on how this year goes, I'll maybe to an out of state show or two - probably somewhere I have family so I have a place to stay. Some of these shows pay for travel and lodgings and also pay a stipend to each artist. Then there are awards that get paid out to multiple artists at each show. I was amazed at how much money can be made doing chalk/street art. 

I also came home and ordered more chalk. A lot more chalk. Like a seriously huge amount of chalk. One box has 160 pieces in it (large sidewalk chalk pieces for base color). I didn't realize how quick my chalk would go. A lot of the chalk I use is the small soft pastel sticks and half sticks, so I have to be judicious about use with them and make sure I have enough for the higher pigmentation I might need with shading. I have more chalk arriving today (a whole pack of black chalks), and more chalk arriving next week, which will be after this event but will go to good use for the next one and the practice either out on the driveway or at mom's so I don't have to deal with the neighbor.

Sunday was totally a recovery day. I was SUPER sore. My shins/knees are still killing me, but at least the back pain dissipated after a day. I expect this Sunday will probably be much the same. I'm hoping to maybe be able to get to the beach that day too... It will depend on how sore I am lol. 

I'll post pictures from the event later today possibly. 

Sorry to my writing partners. I've still been sick. Not feeling very... story worthy... while coughing and with my chest rattling.

[JuliettaRossi]

Some of the chalk art pictures as promised! 
          

[JuliettaRossi]

Another show down. It went great. I chose much better with my subject - happy, less small detail, bright and vivid colors. It got lots of love.

I arrived early (ok, on time, but that's early for most artists so... ;P) and I got one of the first spots. It was shaded and with nothing to hide the fact I was chalking - out in the open near a busy corner. Unlike the last show, they didn't shut down the street, so there were still plenty of vehicles - including emergency vehicles coming through. I think this actually in some ways helped the show - more traffic equaled more foot traffic. People passing by saw what was going on and stopped to walk around.

I was better prepared. I got the chalk grid done quick, then onto outlining and features, then base color and then top colors and shading and bolder outlining. The image was a 5x5 this time instead of a 4x4 like last week, so a little bigger. Next weekend will be 4x8.

The show gave a nice 48-count tin of pastels and a nice tote bag full of "swag" - mostly silly things from sponsors, but some of it was really useful - the pool noodle chunks, the baby wipes, hand sanitizer, lip gloss, sunscreen, lotion, a t-shirt (which I didn't realize until later was to wear that day because it said "Artist at Work"). The people with the festival sent volunteers around frequently with cold water, which helped. I still nursed my coffee for most of the morning before realizing I wasn't drinking enough. It was warm out, but thankfully I was in the shade. I did end up with a bit of a sunburn anyway somehow. I made myself stop and eat a little something as well instead of waiting until I was done.

I got up and stretched. I had a better mat to work on so less pain later. Still pain - especially in my right hip, but that's due mostly to having bad hips, knees and ankles. My knees didn't hurt at all. I worked with earbuds in and zoned out to Lana Del Rey, Halsey, Bishop Briggs, Two Feet, Marian Hill, ZZ Ward, etc. I was more at peace with this one and happier at the end of it.

I worked barefoot and wrapped one toe that got scraped up on the sidewalk the weekend before, which worked perfectly. I didn't wrap my fingers, but did wear the padded fingerless gloves though. I used my shading items - the whiteboard erasers and the chunks of pool noodle (surprisingly effective).No one really pays attention to the type of sidewalk they are walking on. It's something I pay attention to now. The sidewalk at the first event was much rougher - crosshatched and textured to be rough. The sidewalk on Saturday was smoother but with chunks of shell and rock and gouges where perhaps a whole shell or rock was removed in a couple of places - some of these spots didn't "take" the chalk like the rest of the concrete. Chalking at mom's the other night - the driveway was amazing. The chalk went down super easy and smooth, which allowed me to not pay attention to my fingers. I didn't feel the pain until I was IN PAIN. I wore away the pad of my index and middle fingers until I hit red. Even after scrubbing, my fingers looked like I still had chalk on them - they were so abraded they were bruised purple.

I've been using triple antibiotic on them constantly since chalking a couple nights ago. My fingers are almost healed. I'll be back at mom's chalking this weekend at some point. There is also a mural competition nearby I'm going to try to get to hosted by one of the biggest chalk/mural artists in the area.

This last event we stayed over night in the area, did a little sight seeing the next morning, got my toes in the water at a small beach area. It wasn't enough to cure my need for the beach, but I got to inhale the salt air and pick up some very inhabited shells, which didn't leave the beach. (Never take live shells.) Did the touristy thing and shopped at the tourist-trap shops, took photos, met a pup owned by one of the shop owners who was adorable - especially when he acted like he didn't hear what his mom was yelling and he trotted off to the jewelry store a few doors down. "They feed him treats there," she said.

The following day we went to another chalk festival between there and home. Said hello to some of the artists from the day before, met a few new ones and got to talk about shows and art and pastels and color theory and find out about a local soft pastel company called Mount Vision that I just dropped $50 on for 8 pastels. Yes, 8. They are handmade and vivid, and I'd rather support a small company providing good product than continue to buy boxes or random brand pastels that I don't know the quality of. Some of the pastels I've bought have been super hard and don't chalk well, or they are super light and crumble like dust. I'm planning on using some of the Mount Vision pastels next weekend at the next show. I also purchased some flesh colors so I can maybe work on some Disney princess images soon.

Next up is some tempera paint (black for the background at the next show), some UV sleeves so I don't burn like I did last weekend, and a mister bottle so I can simply mist myself down in the heat since it's gotten hot here quick. I've got a tarp and plastic sheeting that will stretch to cover any art I'm doing in case it rains. More hairspray for fixative. I still need to book the hotel for next weekend We will be arriving Friday night because they are doing an artist welcome event. The show itself is two days of chalking, so the design is more involved and should have better detail. I'm seriously looking forward to it - if you couldn't tell.

I was still a bit sick while chalking. I'm still coughing, but I think I'm finally nearing the end of this bout of bronchitis. I've damaged my vocal chords during this run. I still have a sore throat if I talk, I lose my voice quick and there are notes I can't hit - like I simply lose voice where I was singing or speaking seconds before. I'm trying to rest my voice as best I can, but work required me to talk.

I've applied to a few more shows before summer starts. I'm waiting to hear back from them now. One show pays a small stipend with possibility of an award on top of it at the end. I'm also looking at some out of state shows that might pay a stipend for travel/provide hotel or housing while there. The fall shows don't drop their applications until later in the year, so I have to keep an eye out on those. They will pick up here again in October.

Is it crazy that I'm excited every time I receive a new box of pastels? Like boxes of sweets or gemstones - all the pretty colors. I had a few more boxes arrive this week. I have colors separated for ease of work - plastic storage boxes small enough to move around the piece I'm working on, so with each new box of pastels I add any new sticks to the boxes. I can't wait to receive the box from Mount Vision. Those will not be joining the others until after next weekend probably - I'll keep them in the cushioned container until I'm ready to chalk. Also - if you don't know how soft pastels are made the process is pretty amazing. There is a video online from a company called Henri Roche - a small 2-person pastel company. The process is neat and oh the colors!! Like working in a candy store...

There is a local group here looking for mural painters and I've been considering joining up. If you haven't seen some of the new ways murals are being made using technology, I encourage you to just take a glance online. They are able to use the Meta headset to envision the design instead of having it projected (and carrying a huge projector with you). They can outline the design a lot quicker and more accurately using the headset, then have the group of painters come in and fill in the colors.

I wish I had gotten into all this earlier. I've always had that *thing* in the back of my mind - my mom telling me I shouldn't go in to art, that artists don't make any money, not allowing me to pursue art when younger. I was accepted to multiple art schools when I was younger but never allowed to attend them. My mom even went to the extent of moving us so I wouldn't be able to go to one art school. Another one I got accepted to also had a computer tech course of study. She allowed me to audition for the art school and get accepted... but I was only allowed to attend for computers (and I was not on the same level as the other hackers and geeks there and kinda hated computers...). I've carried the resentment a long time in how she didn't allow me to pursue the things I wanted to - the things I was passionate about and enjoyed. Who knows where I could be now if I was allowed to attend art school...

[JuliettaRossi]

So first off... I owe some of you words. I know I've seemingly vanished with being sick. Something about coughing up a lung just isn't sexy. The words just aren't there. Work has been super stressful which isn't helping. 

I think I finally got past the bronchitis about 2 weeks ago. I did another show. Still coughing, with a box of tissues within reach. Two days of chalking and I was exhausted. Sunburnt, had a rash from the damn tussock moth caterpillars dropping out of the trees above us (ugh!) and just tired. Received another large box of artist chalk, stayed overnight but was too exhausted (and covered in chalk) to do much socializing with the other artists, but got to see the water mere feet away as we headed home. 

Work is part of the problem. I'm covering for another employee who is out, so I have her files plus mine when neither of us can handle what we already have because the client would rather their files go to hell than pay for a substitute to cover for a month or two. It's causing health problems...  The problem is partially a work ethic I got from both of my parents. The other problem is, if I don't get things done, people don't get medical care, they don't get paid, etc. While I HATE my job... something in my fool head tells me to keep showing up, to work late, to skip lunch, to worry and stress as I drown. This eye twitch I have going on needs to fuckin stop, that's for damn sure.

The other problem is increasing issues with the idiot next door. Dealing with the HOA and calling the police repeatedly, the hourly orange cult proclamation as he ramped up the antagonistic aspect over the past couple of weeks.   

Anyway, I owe my writing partners words and I'm sorry it's been so long since I've responded. I miss the stories and writing with you all. But I'm also missing that writing spark with this level of stress. If you are willing to wait a little while longer, I'll be back. I have two more shows before the summer. One is this weekend. The next is next weekend (my first paying gig). Then I'm done until probably October for shows. It's just too damn hot here, so other than going to mom's to chalk, which is to relax at this point, there won't be much keeping me from things hopefully. And close to when my coworker will be coming back and files will be moved off me again. 

More jewel sweet colors were ordered. More simple sidewalk chalk obtained. Some was grated into chalk dust to be used as chalk paint. Neon colors. A new case which allowed my OCD sorting to kick in for a couple of happy hours. New gloves because I wore holes into the last ones. Chalked at mom's for the holiday weekend since I was jonesing to work on the next piece. It seriously helps me destress a little. Zone out listening to music, feeling the concrete under my fingertips; to watch the colors smooth and mingle, playing with the shading and hues. The time and effort and the feel of the sun on you and the wind and people asking questions and smiling. The thought that someone enjoys what you do enough that it makes them smile. That they want to take a picture of your work to remember the moment, knowing the artwork will be gone with the rain. Amazed that hours of work go into something that will simply disappear. It's fleeting. An indulgence. A bite of cake, the sweetness of the buttercream melting on your tongue. To make a boring sidewalk come alive with color and design... 

It's addictive. I didn't know how much I missed being around creative people. To see how the wheels turn and watch the talent pour out through chalk and paint. The happiness and smiles through chalk-smeared faces. If you've never made it out to a chalk art festival, I encourage it. 

[JuliettaRossi]

Some things have changed. Others are status quo. 

Work is still insane and getting worse. The crazy neighbor... still crazy. 

I thought I was done with chalk shows for the season but I've managed to be accepted to a few more shows, so more traveling. I'll chalk at mom's this weekend for mother's day. I have what is likely the last show until (at this point) Sept the following weekend. Nothing special - a new show and what I'm assuming will be super small but one last event to chalk at before the heat settles over this increasingly unstable state. 

I managed one reply on a story and I owe responses on two others. One partner has decided that our story has come to an end and I get it, but...

I'm hoping with this last show coming up that my muse will share some time with the part of my brain that forms words again. 

I'm still enjoying chalking though - a lot. The evenings have also allowed me a lot of time not just to explore art and ideas but also to wonder about the what-if's. How life would have possibly changed if I was allowed to pursue art as a kid, instead of my mother squashing any kind of creativity and not allowing me to attend the art schools I was accepted to. How would things have gone if I had been allowed to choose and supported in the choice for art as a career? I likely wouldn't be stuck with a job I absolutely HATE and would probably have a job I'd be much happier with. But how many other things might also be different? That existential question of butterfly wings... but not to be dramatic...

I digress. 
Work
STRESS
Chalk
Rinse & repeat.

Where the hell is my writing muse? If anyone finds that crazy bitch, steer her back this way. I miss writing...

[JuliettaRossi]

So I'm a little lost. One of my writing partners passed away suddenly about a week ago. Retraction -- we started as writing partners. We plotted on Discord, which turned into chatting, which turned into not so much writing on E as just getting to know one another. Friendly. Personal. Nothing sexual. That line was never crossed - that wasn't Joe.

It isn't like I haven't lost people. I have. I feel strange missing him though. I find things I want to tell him - would tell him if he was still alive. Things that remind me of him. Things that he would enjoy and I want to tell him, but I can't. I find myself crying. Over someone I've never met. I never had siblings - not really. I have a half-brother and half-sister. I've met my half--brother once many years ago. I get to see my half-sister about once every other year or so. We aren't close despite looking seriously alike for only sharing a father.

The way I talked with Joe, the way I miss him, feels like I lost a brother of sorts. I don't mean to trivialize a sibling relationship. I know we weren't related. He was the closest to a sibling relationship - or what I feel like a sibling relationship would feel like. Is it crazy to miss the person you have been talking to daily for nearly a year, despite never meeting them? Suddenly they are gone. You are missing that relationship - whatever basis it might have. He made me laugh and we made fun of one another - his dainty ballerina feet (he complained of pain with his feet a lot) and my "vermin claws" as he called them (when I told him I sleep on my side, holding onto a pillow to keep my shoulders from rolling in my sleep he said it sounded rodent-like... lol). There were silly memes and quotes and whatever stupidity we encountered during the day. There was usually a smattering of whatever insanity I was dealing with at work and talking to him about legal stuff too.

He encouraged me with art and loved the finished pieces I showed him. He said I should make him a piece with a snail. He loved the silliness of medieval snails. He helped me pick out subjects for my next shows.

Something that sticks with me was a story he told me about Churchill. He made me literally laugh out loud over it. Joe had little patience with some things. He talked about how his wife could browse a shop for hours. He had what he called the 47 minute rule. He said when Churchill needed a hat he would stand in the doorway of the shop and and start yelling "HAT! HAT! HAT!" until someone gave him a hat. I could see Joe doing that in a shop honestly. He was astounded that someone could come with me to chalk art events and sit there and simply sit and do nothing while I worked on my art pieces. He would have been out at the bar having a drink lol. He didn't like being preoccupied with browsing or dawdling - if something needed fixed, he expected to just say "fix it" and have it done with little to do; if items needed purchased, he quickly shopped and bought them - he didn't roam stores idly. It wasn't his style.

Joe was a really kind person. He was funny and strange and intelligent - all things that easily drew me in. He told me about his family, his neighbors, his friends, his wife. We talked about everything and nothing. We checked in with one another daily. We talked for hours at a time. He knew I spent most of my time alone and he never brushed me off. We talked during work, after work, and late into the night. He was the kind of person I would have simply enjoyed sitting on the porch having a drink with.

He was there for me when my pup died last year. He laughed and called me crazy for my extreme baking at Thanksgiving, saying "I just cater that!" He was compassionate and funny and knew just how much levity to add to the issue at hand.

He loved women and I don't mean that way (although, yes, he loved his wife). He trusted women to be honest and caring and something different from the bitch that was his mother. He trusted advice from women over men. He had a rough family time between his mother and deaths in his family. His mother was never exactly motherly and treated him horribly - this past mother's day was really hard for him and she was so mean he said she actually apologized later, which she never did. He was closer to his cousin than anyone in his bio-family. He was also close with the couple next-door - "Aunt Susan" was talked about frequently. He was in the middle of having a pool built with a pass-through between their properties so the neighbors could come and go as they wished to enjoy the pool.

We bonded over talk of New Orleans. I love the city and so did he. He participated in the parades during Mardi Gras - rode in them under a Krewe as a lieutenant. We discussed the best king cakes and food and restaurants and things to do.

There was also a huge love for West Wing - we talked about the show frequently. We were both in the middle of rewatching the series. The fact that he worked for the state dept, was seriously intelligent about politics and the world and was a Marine who loved that cracked crayon jokes drew me to him even more along with the fact that he despised Trump. He hated watching the downfall of government and the idiocy of this administration. This spilled over to his annoyance at the corruption in the city there and his support of the current mayor who is trying to clean it all up. We joked about the roads being more pot hole than road and the water main breaks that happened weekly. He loved living in NOLA though - the food, the people, the music. He hated Texas - for the most part I think that was mostly due to his mother, but he also hated the rose-colored glasses take on rancher love and shows like Yellowstone and Dutton Ranch, but he loved Landman. We had fun chatting about that one...

We talked a lot about tv shows and movies and music. I gave the narcos corridos a try, but told him I just couldn't do the opera or country.

He loved oysters (Blue Points were his favorite). I do not. He liked spicy food. I do not (he called me a boring pepper lol). Broccoli, another no from me. So many random things we talked about...

Joe loved crows. He fed the corvids peanuts and offered them shiny things. They were protective of him and the property and he enjoyed watching them as he sat on the porch and smoked a cigar or had a drink.

I had a work conference I needed to come to Alabama for last year. Despite just "meeting" online, when I talked about doing a side trip to NOLA, he invited me to come stay with he and his wife and go out to F&Js so I could get my fill of crawfish again. I didn't take him up on that - I honestly wish I had now. He was simply kind. It was the person he was.

Does not meeting someone lessen the relationship? Can you still know someone enough to call them your friend? Chosen family even? I miss Joe. For days now I've walked through life thinking "I need to share that with Joe later" only to realize I can't and it has made me sad.

This wouldn't be complete without talking about his wife. I won't use her name here. They were very private people. He literally had a scrub service that deletes any mention of him or his wife online, run weekly. Joe knew part of my day job is investigating people. I don't do it with anyone I meet here. I don't want to know who you are. I don't want you to know who I am. I like the anonymity of it all. I've allowed myself to get close to a handful of people on E, but very few. Joe and I however got to know each other pretty well over the last year.

So...the last time I heard from Joe was on 6/20 just before 2 pm. The talk was stupid and broccoli was mentioned. So was Kool Aid Man lol... I won't go into particulars. I wasn't online that afternoon or evening... I messaged him on the 21st and didn't hear back. I had actually seen something amusing about Kool Aid Man and sent it to him - it was a screenshot of a conversation. The guy asks the girl "What's your biggest fear?" and she responds with "being forgotten." His response is "damn that's deep. mine is the kool aid man but I feel kinda stupid about it now." It made me giggle and I thought about him and our conversation the day before... It was that kind of stuff. This is the kind of thing I miss.

So I messaged him the next day and still nothing. I pushed away the worried thoughts.

I messaged him the next day. That he was likely busy working on the pool and spending time with the Aunties next door or making really good food for he and Mrs. Tex.

I messaged him the next day. By then I was worried. We hadn't gone more than a day without talking to one another in nearly a year... It had been days.  I messaged him the next day - considered searching for him online, for his wife, his neighbors, his mother, to try and find out if he was okay. I didn't. I knew his address. I knew everyone's names - he had provided it all to me. I didn't search. Like I said - I like the anonymity that E allows.

I messaged daily until Saturday when his wife asked who I was. I was open and honest and she had all our chat log she could review - and did partially and I was above board, explained how I knew Joe and a handful of the things I knew about him - about her, the neighbors, his mother. That he was a good guy and I was worried for them both. It was then that Mrs. Tex told me he had passed away suddenly, quickly, while at home days previously. We talked for a little while. She called this "the shittiest meet-cute ever." I had to agree. She was wonderful and gracious that her husband had been talking with this stranger for so long - that he shared things about his life, about his family and friends with me. 

I keep thinking about asking her if it would be okay if I continue to send him messages on Discord, knowing he is gone, like one of those stupid Hallmark movies. She can ignore them or read them or whatever... I feel like that would be a touch crazy. I feel like all this is a touch crazy. It's crazy that he was there one day and gone the next. That he died at 46 years old... That his bitch of a mother out-lived him and how simply unfair it is. That a good man is gone...

I just really miss my friend.