The Best of Blydad

[Oniya]

From earlier today

Blydad: A lizard ran into the house but I don't know where he went.
Blydad: He vanished.
Blydad: ...maybe it wasn't a lizard.
Blydad: ...but a wizard.


Left to his own devices, this happened:


Blydad: <eventually finds lizard and picks it up>
Blydad: Wingardium Leviosa
Blydad: <sets lizard on our porch>
Lizard: <runs back inside>
Blydad: EXPELLIARMUS. EXPECTO PATRONUM. GET-THE-HELL-OUT-OF-MY--HOUSEIUM. SERIOUSLY.

Lizard is all 'Eff that - it's cooler in here.'

[Remiel]

[Blythe]

...I am 100% going to have to show that to Blydad. <_<

[clonkertink]

Yes! Keep the cycle of Blydad going!

[Oreo]

Blydad is the best.

[Mister Morgue]

This thread brings me so much joy

[Blythe]

Blydad: What does hashtag yoho mean?
Me: Uh. I have no idea.
Me: Are you sure you heard whoever said it to you correctly?
Blydad: Yes! It was this nice person at the store, one of the cashiers, and I asked her how she was.
Blydad: She said she was excited because she had plans for Saturday.
Blydad: And said she was going scubadiving for the first time ever and bumped her hand with my less-hurt hand and said, "hashtag yoho!"
Blydad: So I said ARRRRRGH MATEY but she looked at me strange. Did....did I not understand?
Me: She meant YOLO, dad.
Me: It means "you only live once."
Blydad: So it's not pirate noises?
Me: Sadly, no.
Blydad: I called a nice young lady a pirate for no reason?
Me: I mean...maybe she'll find a treasure box scuba diving; you never know.
Blydad: Oh god this is why everyone in line was looking at me; I thought I had something on my face but it was the pirate noises.
Me: Also her touching your hand? 99% chance that was a fist bump.
Blydad: Is that what that was? I was alarmed a young lady bumped me.
Blydad: Was I supposed to do something back? She said 'rowfist' and I thought she was trying to bump my shoulder like a pirate at sea and missed and hit my hand.
Me: She meant 'brofist' and it was her being friendly in a casual way.
Me: Please can we get you a hearing aid?

[Trilby]

Blydad can hashtag yoho and rowfist me anytime.
 
 

[Oniya]

If this had happened on the 19th, he would have had a 50/50 chance of being right.

[Bruja]

This tickles me so much! I so needed a Blydad moment.

[Oreo]

As soon as you have 365 of these you really need to make a book. Blydad, A Trip Around the Sun

[Remiel]

What would be great is if Blydad goes on to talk about pirates for the next few hours.

[clonkertink]

If an older guy made random pirate noises at me, I would definitely make pirate noises back.

[ZephyrInk]

If an older guy made random pirate noises at me, I would definitely make pirate noises back.

This. Ditto. ^^

Ah Blydad is so adorbs. May he always be happy <3 ~

=)

[yugi006]

Ready this always makes things better.

[CrownedSun]

If an older guy made random pirate noises at me, I would definitely make pirate noises back.

^.

Arrr, shiver me timbers, matey.

[clonkertink]

^.

Arrr, shiver me timbers, matey.

YARRRR! Avast!

[Oreo]

Found this and thought of Blydad.

To err is human. To Arr is pirate.

[Bruja]

As soon as you have 365 of these you really need to make a book. Blydad, A Trip Around the Sun

TAKE MY MONEY!!

[Blythe]

After a trip to the store today:

Me: You spent 20 minutes telling stories in the grocery store about--
Blydad: Oh son. Son. Let me stop you there.
Blydad: You see, I am old.
Blydad: And when you are old, you can't get into fights anymore.
Blydad: Or do anything more intensive than hope you can bend over to pick up something you've dropped.
Blydad: So when I see another old person and say hi and they tell me a story?
Blydad: A complex fight for social dominance happens.
Blydad: These are the rules.
Blydad: They tell a story, then you tell a story. Then if they think they can top yours, they tell another story.
Blydad: Then you have to try to top that. Whoever gives up first and says "I have to get back to shoppping" is the loser and must admit the superior ancientness of the storyteller before them.
Blydad: Today, I was that storyteller. Mwahahaha.
Me: That seems very strange.
Blydad: Consider this: no matter who wins, I both get to tell stories and hear interesting stories.
Blydad: It's not that weird.
Me: You took up an entire shopping aisle with the other person though.
Blydad: The toll to pass my aisle-bridge in the grocery store is One Interesting Story.
Me: You blocked me for TWENTY MINUTES.
Blydad: Oh son, I know all your stories because you are my son, therefore you would never have been able to pass me in the aisle.

[Cryptic]

Yesss!!!! I support this war!

[CrownedSun]

Heee, that's perfect. My grandmother also participates in this behavior, though she'll begin establishing her social dominance with anyone who gets close enough to listen.

[Oreo]

All hail Blydad. You shall not pass.

[Mirrah]

Huzzah, Blydad!

[ZephyrInk]

Ahhh cuteness...Blydad stories would be the best. =)