My pregnancy wish - Hoping for a second child

[AngelicFaith]

Hello dear readers,

Welcome to my blog, and thank you for reading. As the title states, this blog will be about my wish for a second child. About my journey to make this wish come true.

First of, I would like to tell you a little something about me. I am currently 29 years young, married to a wonderful man (who I met through here, great, right?), and mother of a wonderful 3 year old son. (Well, almost 3, but lets just say he's 3). I am so very grateful to have these two men in my life and I love them both to bits (even if they drive me nuts sometimes  ).

Our son is a true miracle, actually. Why? Well, because I have Turner's Syndrome and should be infertile. So the fact that he exists is truly a miracle.
What is Turner's Syndrome you're now probably wondering. Well, to explain things easy: it's a chromosomal defect. I have one chromosome less than normal people. Yes, the opposite of Down Syndrome. This defect causes my body to not produce enough growth hormone, causing me to be very little. It can also have other 'side effects' but I won't go into that, except for one. It also causes infertility due to the reproductive organs remaining underdeveloped.

I happen to have mosaic Turner's Syndrome, which means that part of my cells have 3 XXX, another part has 2 XX and yet another part has 1 X. When you have classic Turner Syndrome, all cells have 1 X. (X means the x-chromosome).

And that is what makes me very lucky.

As explained above I should be infertile, but I belong to the very small percentage of lucky woman who's reproductive organs have developed (think 2-5% of all women with Turner's Syndrome).
But even then I still have a very high percentage to miscarry.

I think you're starting to understand now why my son is such a miracle, right?

And now we are trying, and hoping, to be blessed with a second child to complete our happy family.

With my first one, I got pregnant instantly after I stopped taking the pill. Neither of us had expected that, knowing my background. Of course we were thrilled. This time it is taking a bit longer. We are now going to round three.

The reason I am creating this blog is that it helps me to write. Sometimes I just need to write things down, get things of my chest.
Also, infertility and struggling with infertility, is much more common than we think, yet so little is spoken about it. I want to help break this taboo, and to possibly let others know they are not alone.

Thank you for reading <3

Much love,

Faith

[RedRose]

Wishing you all the best!

[mh0131]

Wow after reading your blog I must say I wish you nothing but the best and a happy pregnancy. You deserve a baby keep the faith and never lose hope sweetie. Congrats on your miracle baby as well.

[AngelicFaith]

Thank you RedRose and mh0131

*smiles softly*

[AngelicFaith]

Time for a small update on my part:

Currently I am feeling ready moody, like seriously moody.
Also... freaking cramps!
And not to forget sensitive breasts.

Aarrgghhhh...

I just hope it's ovulation/ nestling, and not Mother Nature deciding to come waaaaaay early.

Guess we'll find out soon enough.

If it is Mother Nature showing up way too early I swear I'm kicking her out again. Just go take a very long holiday, please and stop messing with my body! Thank you 

[AngelicFaith]

And another small update.

Day 24 of my cyle, and no period to be seen yet!
My cycle is always short, and about 25 days longest.
Normally I would already be showing signs of my period arriving, and even spotting. But... absolutely nothing to be seen!

Eeeeeeeks!

You can't believe how nervous I am right now.

Either it's a really, really good sign and I'm pregnant, or it's a bad sign, a sign of me heading into my menopauze...

So yeah... the next few days are going to be really nerv wreaking!

Please keep fingers crossed for me <3

[LadyAthene]

I wish you all the best, Angelic!

I'm similar to you, in my own ways. I have my own condition that makes it hard for me to conceive (PCOS/Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). In that regard, I know and understand how frustrating it can be to not get pregnant. I'm trying to get my own second child, also.

I will definitely keep you in my thoughts and hope for fortune to smile down on you.

Feel free to send me a PM if you ever want to further talk or just chat.

-Athene

[Black Howling]

I actually have a condition that I was told would leave me infertile. It was crushing news that turned out to be false, but that feeling I had when I was first told makes me feel deeply for you. I wish you all the luck in the world, and am definitely going to keep up with this blog.

[AngelicFaith]

I wish you all the best, Angelic!

I'm similar to you, in my own ways. I have my own condition that makes it hard for me to conceive (PCOS/Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). In that regard, I know and understand how frustrating it can be to not get pregnant. I'm trying to get my own second child, also.

I will definitely keep you in my thoughts and hope for fortune to smile down on you.

Feel free to send me a PM if you ever want to further talk or just chat.

-Athene

I wish you all the best and a very fertile womb as well! I will keep you in my thoughts also. I believe my sister-in-law has the same condition. She received medication and is now pregnant.

Best of luck to you!

And you may also PM me if you need someone to talk to. It oftens feels we don't get to be sad for not conceiving, because we already conceived once. So it's nice to have someone to share these feelings with and who understands.

I actually have a condition that I was told would leave me infertile. It was crushing news that turned out to be false, but that feeling I had when I was first told makes me feel deeply for you. I wish you all the luck in the world, and am definitely going to keep up with this blog.

Oh dear... that is awful to be so crushed when there's actually nothing wrong. I am glad to hear it was false.
Thank you for your kind words and compasion.

[AngelicFaith]

Update

Day 28 of my cycle

So... still no definite answer as to whether I'm actually pregnant, or if my body is just messing with me.

Like I mentioned before, I have always short cycles, and I should be having my period right now.
Last Saturday I had some blood loss, and yesterday too. However, today it already seems to be going away again. So I still haven't had my actual period yet. I did a test last Saturday, but it was negative. But that could also be because it was still a bit too soon.

We have decided that if by the end of this week we still don't have a definite answer, I'll be going to the doctor for a blood test. So until then it's going to be a few days of uncertainty.

I really thought I was pregnant this time, and was bummed when the test was negative and a bit later I had some blood loss. But now I'm starting to slowly hope again. I have this nausea in my lower belly which I recognize from my first pregnancy, and it feels like a balloon. I also can't stand pants at the moment, my belly hates them right now. Also something that is familiar.

So yeah... would it be?

...............

[LadyAthene]

I'm curious about something. If the question doesn't bother you too much, I hope you wouldn't mind enlightening me.

It sounds like Turner's Syndrome has the capability to make a body react/feel as if it were experiencing pregnancy symptoms but isn't actually in such a state? That's how I read/interpreted your words anyway. Was I right in reading that correctly?

Either way, it's mainly intriguing because ... I'm not sure if PCOS is meant to do that, but I've had episodes where I noticed symptoms also. Alas, every test came out negative, But it all felt almost the exact same as when I first got pregnant [which is another similarity between us; we both became expecting pretty soon after doing something. For me, though, it was moving in with my husband/boyfriend at the time].

I know how nerve-wracking even a few days can feel waiting for. If you have any decent distractions (this site , favorite books/games/anime/whatever), use them until your appointment. The less you fret about the results, the better it'll all go, regardless of the outcome.

Wishing you well,
Athene

[The Dark Raven]

Remember stress can be a trigger for a missed period also.  I cannot imagine the stress of trying for a family with Turner's.  I wish you all the best!

[AngelicFaith]

I'm curious about something. If the question doesn't bother you too much, I hope you wouldn't mind enlightening me.

It sounds like Turner's Syndrome has the capability to make a body react/feel as if it were experiencing pregnancy symptoms but isn't actually in such a state? That's how I read/interpreted your words anyway. Was I right in reading that correctly?

Either way, it's mainly intriguing because ... I'm not sure if PCOS is meant to do that, but I've had episodes where I noticed symptoms also. Alas, every test came out negative, But it all felt almost the exact same as when I first got pregnant [which is another similarity between us; we both became expecting pretty soon after doing something. For me, though, it was moving in with my husband/boyfriend at the time].

I know how nerve-wracking even a few days can feel waiting for. If you have any decent distractions (this site , favorite books/games/anime/whatever), use them until your appointment. The less you fret about the results, the better it'll all go, regardless of the outcome.

Wishing you well,
Athene

Feeling pregnant is not a symptom of Turner's Syndrome. At least, not as far as I know. However, my body can still mess with me, haha.

It's so frustrating when your body is fooling you like that. It's just not fair, is it?

Remember stress can be a trigger for a missed period also.  I cannot imagine the stress of trying for a family with Turner's.  I wish you all the best!

Hello Raven,

Yes, I am aware of that. Luckily the stress levels are pretty low. I can't really say I'm super stressed.

And thank you.

[AngelicFaith]

Update

Day 30 of my cycle

I just went to the doctor. I have had some blood loss since past Saturday, but it hasn't really gone further than that. So I can't say I'm on my period or had my period. It's just too little to be called that.

So I decided to go to the doctor, and explain her what is going on. Just like me, she sees three possible options of what is happening:

1) I'm pregnant
2) I'm still de-pilling (You know, when your body needs time to get back to its natural cycle after stopping with anticonception).
3) I'm getting into menopause real early

So right now I still don't have a definitive answer. I have a prescription now to have blood drawn and tested for pregnancy.
I have decided that I will take another pregnancy within a few days, and if after the weekend, I still don't have an answer, I will do another one, and if that one if still negative, I'll have blood drawn.

So yeah... still fingers crossed!

[Serephino]

I'm hoping the best for you!  When I was told I had PCOS and would probably be infertile, even though I wasn't exactly planning on kids anyway it was still a blow, you know?  But my mom told me she has it too and got pregnant with me on the first try.  So you know, when it's meant to be...  Your son was obviously meant to be, and I'll be crossing my fingers that your wish will come true too.

[AngelicFaith]

WARNING: ranting

Okay, I'm sooooo having enough of this! Of my body not knowing what it wants, keeping me in insecurity, messing with me, fooling me, making me wait and keep stalling... Like seriously... get over it and let's continue! Grrrrr...

This morning started wonderfully, thinking that the spotting had stopped, which meant no real period, which meant a chance I'm pregnant.
But nope... my body isn't done messing with me yet. Later today I started spotting again. And now I'm having horrible period cramps.

Aaarrgghhh... those horrible, horrible cramps!

I'm so fet up with my body right now.

Just get it over with and let my period come through so we can go to the next round. But for crying out loud... stop stalling!
Either go away completely, or come through fully.

Just freaking choose already!

Ugh... I feel horrible... Like really awful

[BentLycan93]

I hope you don't mind me keeping you in my thoughts and praying for you?
Keep trying and don't give up.
I will send good thoughts and vibes your way.

[The Dark Raven]

WARNING: ranting

Okay, I'm sooooo having enough of this! Of my body not knowing what it wants, keeping me in insecurity, messing with me, fooling me, making me wait and keep stalling... Like seriously... get over it and let's continue! Grrrrr...

This morning started wonderfully, thinking that the spotting had stopped, which meant no real period, which meant a chance I'm pregnant.
But nope... my body isn't done messing with me yet. Later today I started spotting again. And now I'm having horrible period cramps.

Aaarrgghhh... those horrible, horrible cramps!

I'm so fet up with my body right now.

Just get it over with and let my period come through so we can go to the next round. But for crying out loud... stop stalling!
Either go away completely, or come through fully.

Just freaking choose already!

Ugh... I feel horrible... Like really awful

Another thought...could it be implantation bleeding and cramps?  Mine were awful with mine.  Keep paddling!  <3

[AngelicFaith]

I hope you don't mind me keeping you in my thoughts and praying for you?
Keep trying and don't give up.
I will send good thoughts and vibes your way.

That is really sweet of you. Thank you.

Another thought...could it be implantation bleeding and cramps?  Mine were awful with mine.  Keep paddling!  <3

Well... my period has finally come through. I'm not sure if I feel implantation cramps. Maybe I do, haha. But that wasn't it now.

[AngelicFaith]

ROUND 4
Day 1

My period decided to come through after all, which is quite frankly both relief and disappointment. I had really high hopes this time. Maybe I was pregnant, but it was an early (natural) abortion. We don't know, and never will know.

I want to thank all of you for your kind words and support. They give me strength when I need it most.

So now it's up to round four while I keep following as my mantra:

[Nowherewoman]

*hugs* So sorry things didn't turn out as you'd hoped, Angel.

[Sofia Grace]

Sending positive vibes your way.  <3

[AngelicFaith]

Round 4
Day 18

Time for another update!
It has been a bit quiet here for the past few weeks, but that's because we started a new round, and there's simply not much to tell until you're reaching the end of your cycle again. I mean... we all know what happens in the meantime, right? 

Anyway... we celebrated our son's third birthday past weekend, and we had a wonderful time with friends and family, and very nice weather. Yet at the same time it does make me realize how much I'd like to have a second child. The next few days are going to be tough. It's always hard to have to wait, not knowing if you're pregnant or not. I hate that insecurity.

So for everyone still reading and following this blog: keep your fingers crossed for us <3

[Naughty Miss Adventure]

Here's wishing you the best of luck (and fun!) on your attempt.

[AngelicFaith]

Round 4
Day 25

Day 25... the day that usually my period comes through. Thus far, there is nothing to be seen yet. But I can tell you that every time I go to the bathroom I expect to see my period having come through. Last round, I had high hopes when on day 25 there was still nothing to be seen, but then later that day, it came through after all. So I guess that's the reason why I'm now constantly expecting my period to come through any minute now.

Luckily my body has finally stopped messing with me, as in... it has stopped making me feel all these symptoms. When it did that it always made me believe I was pregnant, only to find out I had been fooled yet again. So I'm glad that has stopped.

I guess all I can do now is wait a bit longer.

And Mother Nature? Please, please, please allow me this precious gift and send Miss Period away for the coming 9 months or so? Thank you!