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Author Topic: Fat as a compliment (cultural differences)  (Read 112 times)

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Offline RedRoseTopic starter

Fat as a compliment (cultural differences)
« on: July 16, 2018, 01:57:30 PM »
I found this video on a forum, after several threads mentioning (grand)parents or men using something similar as endearment.

In one of the threads, the guy was like "hey, how is my beautiful big overweight girl going?" and she (from another culture) hated it.

In another one, he loved her "big belly" and she wasn't pregnant and it made her very self conscious which he didn't understand because to him that's a compliment. He basically didn't see why you can praise curvy bosom but not curvy stomach lol.

 I also come from a background where older people may praise you if you eat "a lot" (heck, some old school guys will be on their date's case to finish her plate too). My grandparents use "you put on weight" as a compliment of sorts, a thing they tell people, as if to mean you take good care of yourself or when married, the other takes good care of you. Of course it's NOT what the young generation likes to hear.

I have an old relative who calls everyone (wife, kids) "bouboule" (from boule, ball).

Anyone else grew up in such a culture? I'm curious if there still are young women who like this. Me? Don't call me big unless you're my doctor and I'm 200 kilos and even then I'd rather another way to put it… and bouboule is probably the best fool proof Birth control  :D

Offline Oniya

Re: Fat as a compliment (cultural differences)
« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2018, 02:09:31 PM »
My initial criticism of the first statement is that he calls her 'overweight' - which literally is defined as being 'over an acceptable weight', whether you're talking about people or anything else.  What would have been wrong with leaving it at 'How's my big beautiful girl?' (or even 'BBW')

On the second one - assuming that he knows that she doesn't like attention to her belly (and face it, most of us have some feature that we don't call attention to) he could easily talk about admiring her 'curves' (which could include bosom, hips, stomach, or any other part of her).

Part of this is recognizing what your partner/SO/relative/friend is personally comfortable with, and respecting that.

Offline RedRoseTopic starter

Re: Fat as a compliment (cultural differences)
« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2018, 05:40:47 AM »
LOL yes, we debated a lot about the "overweight" use. I think he may belong to a culture that likes a woman to be "above", I saw that show about some African country where girls are encouraged to get obese before marriage... So maybe he doesn't realize how it sounds. You're right that all these things should be discussed.

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Re: Fat as a compliment (cultural differences)
« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2018, 12:10:27 PM »
My cousin's wife was Philippino, and she used to tell my mother she was looking good and she'd put on weight.

While my mother didn't want to hear that, it was a compliment.