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Author Topic: I do REALLY want to like this site but everything is fighting against me.  (Read 1477 times)

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Offline RedRose

Re: I do REALLY want to like this site but everything is fighting against me.
« Reply #25 on: December 03, 2016, 08:19:27 AM »
Hey!
Don't worry and take it easy. It took me a long time to figure out how to do everything fancy shmancy and just yesterday I discovered a feature I had no idea about lol. Go slow, take your time. The tutorials ROCK.
If you stick around you will certainly make friends. It doesn't (always) happen overnight and you don't need boatloads of them.  Participating to already existing social threads definitely will help, as will having an O/O and a request thread (if you wanna RP already). I've been here since 2014. I knew no one in the beginning, though a couple people really reached out to me. It felt so big and overwhelming. I learned to navigate it ;)
The mods are real busy, but they reply to concerns. Just give them time!
In the end? No site is perfect, not even E though I'm a fan. But I don't know any other RP website that is half as nice, and I'm still in touch with friends I made years ago here.

Offline FlightlessBird

Re: I do REALLY want to like this site but everything is fighting against me.
« Reply #26 on: December 03, 2016, 08:53:39 AM »
Hey Icelandic :) Sorry to hear you're struggling. If it helps, I'm newish as well, and it takes a little while for things to pick up. I found myself browsing through stories at the start. If a particular member's writing style caught my eye, or I found myself engrossed in the story, I dropped them a personal message. Sometimes certain members won't get back to you, because they may not be active anymore, super busy, or they might get so many requests that they just don't have the energy to respond to them all. Just rest assured that if you keep at it, someone will get back to you and you'll find yourself knee deep in a story :)

As for the Mods and the Mentors, they can get totally swamped. They have to send out replies and info constantly and, to top it off, they're probably working on their own stories too and just enjoying the E experience themselves. So if it takes a week or so for them to get back to you, that wouldn't surprise me, and I certainly can't blame them. Frankly I think they're absolute beasts for all they do on E.

While I'm not sure why your thread got locked, trust that having threads locked isn't something that happens very regularly, so try not to feel nervous that it will happen again. I know that's easier said than done, but as time passes everything will get more comfortable :) As for socialising, starting this thread up was a good shout. People on E are always eager to help out, so reaching out is a good way to get to know people

Offline IcelandicTopic starter

Re: I do REALLY want to like this site but everything is fighting against me.
« Reply #27 on: December 03, 2016, 09:41:31 AM »
A week? Are you kidding me?!

Offline FlightlessBird

Re: I do REALLY want to like this site but everything is fighting against me.
« Reply #28 on: December 03, 2016, 09:46:44 AM »
Mhmmm - I think the member list on here must be in the tens of thousands, and there are only so many people kind enough to volunteer to mentor <3

Offline IcelandicTopic starter

Re: I do REALLY want to like this site but everything is fighting against me.
« Reply #29 on: December 03, 2016, 09:47:15 AM »
I ALSO GOT KICKED FROM THE CHAT

I STOPPED

WHY!?

Offline IcelandicTopic starter

Re: I do REALLY want to like this site but everything is fighting against me.
« Reply #30 on: December 03, 2016, 09:52:42 AM »
.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2016, 09:58:34 AM by Icelandic »

Offline IcelandicTopic starter

Re: I do REALLY want to like this site but everything is fighting against me.
« Reply #31 on: December 03, 2016, 09:53:34 AM »
.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2016, 09:58:21 AM by Icelandic »

Offline FlightlessBird

Re: I do REALLY want to like this site but everything is fighting against me.
« Reply #32 on: December 03, 2016, 09:59:34 AM »
I think things will feel a lot easier if you start cranking up the niceness with the mods and mentors. They're all lovely, but if they feel like you're breaking the rules in any way they have to be strict about it, otherwise E would fall to crap. I know it doesn't feel like you've been starting on them, but it might be worth shooting Dim an apology in PM. No guarantees, but he might let you back in SB.

Offline IcelandicTopic starter

Re: I do REALLY want to like this site but everything is fighting against me.
« Reply #33 on: December 03, 2016, 10:04:26 AM »
Oh... Nevermind. I missread it. She did actually lock me out of it... Why? I wasnt doing anything. I was stopping the argument that she was trying to instigate.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2016, 10:05:54 AM by Icelandic »

Offline Vekseid

Re: I do REALLY want to like this site but everything is fighting against me.
« Reply #34 on: December 03, 2016, 10:06:53 AM »
THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT

ALL I WANT TO DO IS JUST INTERACT WITH PEOPLE AND TALK

I dont deserve this I just want to talk and have fun and be happy. I dont know why people are acting this way to me! Its not fair! I didnt do anything wrong to anyone. I was trying to stop but now this happened!

You have enough self awareness to know that you are pressing on people and to edit these posts, so you have that, I guess?

You would be doing yourself an immense favor to take the advice that people have given you here and elsewhere, namely to seek professional help. We cannot be your sole means of support.

Offline IcelandicTopic starter

Re: I do REALLY want to like this site but everything is fighting against me.
« Reply #35 on: December 03, 2016, 10:15:23 AM »
I know that. This all started from a misunderstanding in the first place. I was trying to seek emotional support from here, not professional help.

I did edit those because I did not want to start cussing in a public forum.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2016, 10:18:11 AM by Icelandic »

Online Mintprincess

Re: I do REALLY want to like this site but everything is fighting against me.
« Reply #36 on: December 03, 2016, 10:32:52 AM »
Hello Icelandic!

A week? Are you kidding me?!

I did want to say that all of us are volunteers, who travel, work, have families and while we may look around, we might be on our phones or just checking in to make sure we don't have mentor work that is pressing.   No one on staff or the mentor team will ignore you, but we do request that you try to have some patience with us as we work through all the different tasks that are assigned to us.   Elliquiy is a huge site with a large member base and we also don't want to spend all our time on business.  We like to write too!

I am not generally a patient person myself, but there is value is having it.  If you've sent a PM or posted a request, it's good to be understanding that others may not be on your time schedule, may have something personal going on, or may just need time.   Reposting over and over that you aren't getting help doesn't invite others to want to help.  It makes them want to shy away because the impression is that if they aren't up to the 'quickness and standard' you may post upsetting things about them as well. 

All of the mentors would gladly offer our help, as we can, when our time permits.  You're welcome to click on my O/Os as well (see signature - My Pillowtop) to read what I've written about myself.   You will find that if you spend a little time searching you'll be more successful at understanding the site. Yes it's big and hell there are probably places I haven't been yet! It took me a year to get brave enough to even ask someone to RP with me (shocker yes outgoing doesn't shut up Mint was shy at first!).

But patience and understanding on your side will go a long way toward others being patient and understanding with you.

My PM box is always open.  That being said, I'm on vacation this weekend, I work a lot and phone typing sucks, so I will state up front I don't always answer immediately unless it's extremely important.

<3
Mint

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Re: I do REALLY want to like this site but everything is fighting against me.
« Reply #37 on: December 03, 2016, 11:02:26 AM »
A personal piece of advice: This is a really good site with a lot of great people on it. There are other sites out there, but so far I haven't found any as good as this one. It's a good place to hang out and spend time, make friends and write with others.

If you're getting annoyed with people or the mods, maybe it's time to take a step back until you don't feel that way. You might get away with a snippy comment here or there but conflict generally only leads in one direction. You're new here and they're still figuring out if you'll fit into the site's culture.

This is just one place but it's a good place, and people are just people. They don't necessarily hold all the answers. They can just give you opinions.

Offline IcelandicTopic starter

Re: I do REALLY want to like this site but everything is fighting against me.
« Reply #38 on: December 03, 2016, 11:09:08 AM »
I'm trying to be good... :'c

And I have talked to one of the mods and have cleared up a few things. It really was a misunderstanding like I said it was.

Offline ChandyMan

Re: I do REALLY want to like this site but everything is fighting against me.
« Reply #39 on: December 03, 2016, 11:23:27 AM »
Hi Icelandic,

I'm brand new to this site...been on here less than a day, but I think you're now on the right track! Hopefully someone here can show you the ropes, and help figure everything out with you. Everyone seems to be super friendly so far! Hang in there, and I'm sure this place will grow on ya! :)

Online Thesunmaid

Re: I do REALLY want to like this site but everything is fighting against me.
« Reply #40 on: December 03, 2016, 02:15:03 PM »
Sweetie...being demanding will not get you anywhere..The staff and community here are really awesome..but sometimes finding rp will take time. You might also want to consider we are heading into the holidays and with the american thanksgiving and Christmas, A lot of people are not online all the time and might be slow to answer things..even the staff who most of them probably have family and other things to do to prepare for the holidays. I am not trying to be mean here but...you are sort of come off as I say you jump and we should say how high?

So calm down...be patient and once you get used to things you should be fine. Also I am sorry to hear about your mental health troubles but what you have been told is correct...you need to seek a doctors help. I had a friend end up in the hospital because he started hearing voices..but he never told anyone and he almost hurt himself and another one of our friends who had to pin him down until the ambulance came. At least you are willing to tell someone so good for you but no one on here is qualified to help with that. Being frustrated is all well and good...but well..how would you react to someone acting towards you how you are acting now? I am sure once you get used to things you will settle in nicely and find yourself some great partners.

Perhaps this seems a bit harsh but...I am not overly well known for my ability to handhold. I wish you luck and I hope you find the RP you are looking for and the help you need.


Offline Elysian Radiance

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Re: I do REALLY want to like this site but everything is fighting against me.
« Reply #41 on: December 03, 2016, 02:37:10 PM »
H'okay! So I've read through your thread here and I poked around your topics that you've started to see what you were referring to. I'm going to give you some advice from someone who had a troubled start here on E but has since found my way on the right track. You can take it or leave it, but it seems like you're in need of it.

If you want to RP, get an O/O thread set up. It doesn't need to be fancy with pictures and graphics and such. That will come with time and experience. But tell people who you are as a writer, what settings you enjoy, what elements you like to incorporate in your writing. Some people, such as myself, have a list of Yes/No/Maybe kinks on there as well. Nine times out of ten, someone will look for an O/O post to get to know someone before or during an RP plotting PM. You can always put that it's a work in progress and that it will be every changing as you get used to things.

This is optional, but a request thread is nice too. This is where you can post some OC's that you have, fandoms that you want to play in, or specific plots that you want to write. I personally have an introduction, a list of rules and guidelines for writing with me, a list of characters, a list of plots, a photo gallery with inspiration photos, and a spot for specific cravings I'm having.

As far as posting about your issues... this is a tough one. You have to be able to govern yourself and know what is acceptable and what isn't. It took me a while to figure this one out to be honest. The way that you were responded to isn't cold or like we don't care; in fact it's the opposite. We urge you seek medical attention because we care. You have to look at things objectively here. They can't let people use this as their personal support system. Yes, there are boards and thread for this, but they are to supplement any support you have outside of E. If you do have issues, you really should seek some sort of help and support out of E, whether it's a doctor or therapist or something like that. I have my own slew of mental and physical issues and I heavily rely on my team of healthcare professionals to help keep me straight.

Dealing with the mods/mentors. I know this was said before, but I want to reiterate it because I have first-hand experience with this one. Respect and manners go a LONG way with dealing with them. Say two people get suspended for the same thing. Person 1 is very apologetic, speaks with manners, and treats the mod team with respect while discussing their suspension and punishment. Person 2 goes off the deep end and flings obscenities, acts hateful, and generally disrespects the staff. Even though they got suspended for the very same thing, Person 1 is more likely to get off with a warning or something like that than Person 2 is. Like the age-old adage says, "Treat others how you want to be treated." You don't want the mods to scream at you and get angry with you (not that they would because they're more professional than that) so don't do it with them.

I'm sorry that your time on E has been shaky so far. This place is really great and it's probably the very best of its kind. I know I haven't been able to find anywhere that's even remotely close to E. There's a lot to take in on E, but you can do it. Just spend time to explore the boards and threads to acclimate to the place. Don't try to do everything all at once; you'll overwhelm yourself and end up in this situation again.

~Ely

Offline RenewedSpirit

Re: I do REALLY want to like this site but everything is fighting against me.
« Reply #42 on: December 03, 2016, 03:29:06 PM »
Hey dear, I was confused when I first got approved what I suggest is look at request threads by other people to get some ideas on how I want to set up my own request thread. But before that make an Ons and Ofs thread to tell people what you like to rp and what you do not enjoy to rp. I also asked questions in the shout box even though I felt a bit silly but it sure was worth it in the end. Your welcome to take a look at my if you want down in my signature. It also helps to take some time to explore even though it may take you a few days to get things set up for yourself.

Offline Beguile's Mistress

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Re: I do REALLY want to like this site but everything is fighting against me.
« Reply #43 on: December 03, 2016, 03:37:36 PM »
Ons and Offs are personal preferences and beginning with a short list of what you like to write about followed by a short list of what you don't like to write about can be good.  You can add a list of what you are looking for in a writing partner, too, as well as those things some of us might do that absolutely turn you off.  Keep in mind that this is in the nature of advertising yourself so you want to put your best foot forward in order to attract writers to your orbit.

Just remember it isn't carved in stone and you can add, delete and revise any or all of it any time you wish.  You can even rewrite the whole thing, post a new O/O thread and remove the old one.  Play with it.