So, I just applied to become a member here, and had a very interesting flashback to an earlier point in my life. This vetting process is welcome, but it has had an unnerving effect on me, til I realized why.
Recently I agreed to go to my High School's reunion (gee, do I HAVE to tell you which one? Gives me away :). I was such an introvert and unsure of myself back then, yet had a desperate need to fit in somewhere. I was spending my time seated with the outcasts, those of no real social standing within the terms of the hierarchy established of: jocks and cheerleaders, then the snarky achievers and last the geeks. I operated at the borders of all, but at no point was accepted in any. I bemoaned the fact of my exclusion until one day I said to hell with it, sequestered myself in my family's den, and began to paint. This was the start of my painting career. I gave up on hoping for acceptance, looked inward and found something there I hadn't known could be focused in that way.
So, here I am, wanting connection, waiting for an unknown group of people to judge whether I am acceptable, triggering this old, historic feeling, knowing that the only acceptance needed was my own....ahh there's the rub, ain't it?
I'm an artist, a musician, songwriter. I have a wild and indulgent imagination! :)
I look forward to making connections here.