Telemarketer pwned!

[Oniya]

(First off, Firefox doesn't seem to spell-check the subject line.  Odd.)

For the last several days, I've been getting 'Out of area' calls originating from Virginia.  I've actually been answering them, and they have consistently been for my husband, who has invariably been out (usually at work).  When I ask who's calling, it's the National Rifle Association.   Notable points:  We don't own a gun or rifle, and have not ever been members of the NRA - no real problem with them (other than their knee-jerk reactions to sensible control) but no reason for them to be calling us either.

So each time, I've politely thanked them and said that we are not members, and they've said thank you and hung up.  No problem, no solicitations, no screaming.

Moments ago, the phone rang, 'Out of area', and a Virginia area call.  I pick up the phone, and say 'Hello, J---'s not home, and we don't belong to the NRA.'  Again, politely, if possibly sounding a bit rehearsed.  (It wasn't.)

Dead.  Silence.  And then a click.

[Inkidu]

It was probably the Purple Heart Association, or the Salvation Army that time. That would be my luck.

[Oniya]

*Googles phone number*

Nope, it was them again.   

[Trieste]

Okay, but remember that survey-takers need love, too. <3

[Oniya]

If either of the first two had decided to talk to me, I would have talked - they didn't seem to think that a woman might have opinions or interest in guns, gun laws, or the like.

[Trieste]

No, no, I'm with you. They are jerks. But if MY survey calls... 

[Sabby]

I can top this

Telemarketer called regarding my mortgage. I politely told her that I rent this place.

"Oh, so I guess you don't wanna talk to me then? Very sorry sir! I'll let you get back to your day if that's alright with you" *slams phone down, seething*

I just stood there. A telemarketer hung up on me. A telemarketer. Hung up. On me.

IRONY!

[ShrowdedPoet]

I knew this kid in school.  He was a member of some school organization that sold alot of junk.  Well, he was also a good talker.  A telemarketer called him one day and instead of the telemarketer selling something to him, the poor person ended up buying something from the kid.  It was funny as hell!

[Will]

Sometimes when I'm feeling up to it I'll tell the telemarketers I'm selling magazine subscriptions, and try to pitch to them instead.  It's fun, but sometimes I just don't even want to hear their voice.  I used to just pick up the phone and scream into the receiver, so I think this is a bit kinder.

[ShrowdedPoet]

. . .I used to have fun with telemarketers.  One morning they called super early on a Sunday and I answered the phone.  I told them I wasn't interested in what they were selling but I would be interested in anything that would clean up all blood and make it untracable or unusable for DNA and some really good trash bags. . .you can only imagine how freaked out that poor guy was.

[Oniya]

On that note, we have been known to answer the phone with 'City morgue, you stab 'em, we bag 'em!' 

[ShrowdedPoet]

On that note, we have been known to answer the phone with 'City morgue, you stab 'em, we bag 'em!' 

*falls over laughing*

I got a telemarketing call to my cell phone number. . .it was some guy with a british accent.  Anyway, I answered and he asked if he could speak with <insert my name here>.  I said, You can go to hell.  Bewildered he asked what and I said again very calmly, you can go to hell and then hung up the phone. . .

[Will]

On that note, we have been known to answer the phone with 'City morgue, you stab 'em, we bag 'em!' 

. . .I used to have fun with telemarketers.  One morning they called super early on a Sunday and I answered the phone.  I told them I wasn't interested in what they were selling but I would be interested in anything that would clean up all blood and make it untracable or unusable for DNA and some really good trash bags. . .you can only imagine how freaked out that poor guy was.

I fold.  *falls down and worships*

[ShrowdedPoet]

I fold.  *falls down and worships*

*is worshiped*

[Trieste]

Just don't do this stuff to survey-takers. It could be me on the other end. ;_;

(Seriously, all this stuff is making me cringe because people often mistake me for a telemarketer.)

[Chris Brady]

"City Morgue.  You kill 'em, we grill 'em.  Some go to Heaven, some go to Hell-o!"

[Oniya]

Just don't do this stuff to survey-takers. It could be me on the other end. ;_;

(Seriously, all this stuff is making me cringe because people often mistake me for a telemarketer.)

Ah, but now you know that the 'City Morgue' voice is me or my housemates.  (As do all of our other friends who call.)

[ShrowdedPoet]

Just don't do this stuff to survey-takers. It could be me on the other end. ;_;

(Seriously, all this stuff is making me cringe because people often mistake me for a telemarketer.)

I usually at least hear the person out first.  I have nothing against Surveyers.  Telemarketers on the other hand. . .*sighs*  I just can't stand them.

[Will]

Just don't do this stuff to survey-takers. It could be me on the other end. ;_;

(Seriously, all this stuff is making me cringe because people often mistake me for a telemarketer.)

I have the same telemarketers call repeatedly.  I know they're not survey takers, because (most of them) I have answered and listened long enough to know the difference.

[Chris Brady]

Skye, hunny, you're not ever going to be calling up here, so you won't have to worry about me going:

"A Chris Brady?  Hmm, lemme check,"  *Yells out his own name, waits two seconds,* "Nope, nobody here by that name."  *Click*

[tcost]

Being a telemarketer myself, I can tell you that if someone calls repeatedly for one person in a household, and doesn't ask you if you're interested in what he might have to say, odds are powerfully strong that either a)the person he's calling for is either a member of his group, or a past contributor, or b), in this instance more likely, a past contributor to some other group (most likely the Republicans) or to a candidate who shares similar views.  There is option c), I suppose, that the caller is just stupid;  but in this economy, telemarketing isn't always a bottom of the barrell job any more. 

Although, if the caller has any professional ethics at all, he should never have called back after having said for whom he was calling. 

Oh, and being a political telemarketer, who usually asks for contributions, I am also a survey taker.  It's not a wise combination, truthfully.  I try to compartmentalize as well as I can.

[Trieste]

At least you aren't collections... 

[Oniya]

Being a telemarketer myself, I can tell you that if someone calls repeatedly for one person in a household, and doesn't ask you if you're interested in what he might have to say, odds are powerfully strong that either a)the person he's calling for is either a member of his group, or a past contributor

As I said, not a member, and I just confirmed not a contributor.

b), in this instance more likely, a past contributor to some other group (most likely the Republicans) or to a candidate who shares similar views. 

Registered Independent, and I believe he voted Democrat this year (We don't ask each other that :) )  We have one friend who is a card-carrying member, but he also has a very rigid policy about not giving out other people's contact information without permission.

There is option c), I suppose, that the caller is just stupid;  but in this economy, telemarketing isn't always a bottom of the barrel job any more. 

The first two callers were definitely different - I have no idea about the third one, since they never said anything.  I did tell the second one that I'd already told the first one that we weren't members (and that he wasn't home.)  They haven't called back since number three, so I'm guessing someone took our name off the list.

[MusicNeverDies]

I think my father takes the cake on this matter. The best example I have of 'pwning' a telemarketer was when one called for my mother, and my father answered. All three of us were in the room at the time, but he made a really quick hand signal for silence. She asked again if the lady of the house was home, at which point my dad goes into this "No. No- she. She isn't. She just- I just got home- she wasn't. She took the dog! I don't know.. there wasn't a note. She left me. I..I don't know what to do. She took the kid and the dog without a note. I never thought she really meant...I..I.. what can I do.. Oh God.." And he just went ON and ON, about on the verge of tears for like five minutes. The poor lass on the other end had not the faintest idea what to do.

[concessionis]

Inadvertently, my family stumbled upon the easiest way to rid a household of multiple sales pitches from telemarketers.

My dad started a garage bar dubbed "Dave's Place", and began to answer the phone thusly. A telemarketer quickly apologized after the greeting, saying, "Oh, I didn't realize this was a business," and hung up.

We found out later that it's illegal (at least it is in Illinois, if not everywhere else in the US) for telemarketers to solicit businesses. So I advise everyone I know to:

1) Register your phone number on the Do Not Call list

2) Answer unknown phone numbers with a professional tone and a business-sounding name that refers to your 'real' name -- just in case you may know the caller socially.


It's surprising how few telemarketing phone calls I've received since employing these tactics. And I never get a duplicate call from the same call-spammer. It's wonderful!