I can hear everyone looking at that title and going "Huh?"
Well, presumably it peaked your curiosity sufficiently for you to want to see what I'm talking about. I really shouldn't be posting this at all, because I've started far too many new stories recently, but this is something of a craving.
Spaghetti Western
Wanted: Alive
One female player who is interested in writing a totally cliché story set in the Old West.
Reward:
An enjoyable romp through history, a committed writing partner who may post slowly but will definitely post eventually, as long as you keep the story moving and don't make me do all the work.
Yeah yeah okay, that was cheesy, I know... But that is the point.
What I want to do is write a totally cliché story using every trope imaginable from the classic Spaghetti Western movies. Think of every Clint Eastwood and John Wane film ever that were set in the genre (especially the "Dollars" trilogy and True Grit), add in Butch and Sundance, Jesse James, Tombstone, OK Coral, High Noon, 3:10 to Yuma, and ... well, heck lets even include Maverick and Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter (I always admired James Garner). Then lets take the J.T. Edson and Oliver Strange novels I read as a kid and add those in too! And all the thousands of Western films and books I've seen and read but can't now remember.
Get the idea? Take all of those things and put them together and you have the setting I'm after, and the sort of atmosphere I want. Slightly tongue in cheek, but more a homage to the genre than a spoof.
Right so you've figured out where the "Spaghetti" in the thread title comes from. But "No Meatballs"?
Well, if you know me, you should be able to work that out, but for any that don't I'll be specific:
I am looking for a female player only please. That's a Lady, or a Liege who identifies as female. Sorry fellas, it's nothing personal, it's just the way I am.
The Story: The story centres on two young women. (Obviously). The opening scene might have them both trying to rob the same bank, neither realising that the other is also doing so. See, these two women have serious money troubles, and neither of them wants to take "the easy route" and get married. In fact they'd rather die first. So when they encounter each other there is instant hate and animosity, but at the same time a feeling of connectedness, that they belong together.
And so our two anti-heroines set off on a sexy rampage across Texas, New Mexico, Kansas and The Indian Territories (Oklahoma). The exact setting would be the Early1870s or late 1860s, shortly after the end of the Civil War. Most rifles are still single shot breech loaders although the Henry Repeating Rifle is available. (The Winchester '73 - the gun that won the west - wasn't available until ... well, guess?)
One of our characters should be a crack-shot with a rifle, but relatively slow with a pistol - possibly draw and fire in just under a second. The other would be okay with a rifle, but fast with a pistol - draw and fire in well under half a second. (Incidentally, the fastest time on record is around a quarter of a second. It's reasonable to assume that the fastest men of the time were capable of achieving this sort of speed).
Yes there will be some smut, but I would like to concentrate most on the tropes. Things like the posse chasing them getting on a raft and the sharpshooter
shooting the guide ropes to send it drifting down stream, Or the pistol shooter out-drawing the tough guy in the bar and shooting the pistol from his hand before he has it out of the holster... Or the sharpshooter outdrawing the "dude" and then saying "Mister, I'm
slow!" The card game with the card sharp, the train robbery, the classic Spag-West gunfight - and the spoof one between our girls where they walk towards each other having had a falling out, saying "Well, draw!" "You draw!" "You first!" "No you!" and when they get face to face they kiss and make up.
Oh and a scene from The Good The Bad and The Ugly, (possibly several actually), but one in particular where they are in a bath together and a villain comes bursting in and says "Well well, look what we have here. I've been looking for you two and now I've got you exactly where I want you..." and the girl with the pistol shoots him from under the soap suds... We could even do the hanging and shooting the rope scene...
If you are interested in this, please either post here or send me a PM with the word "Western" somewhere in the heading.
Thanks.
