Goblins! Weak, scrawny and dumb
- Except for a very specific
kind of low, animal cunning - there's never been a more iconic fantasy sword-fodder...
And unlike orcs, they don't even have the physical strength
to make up for it! Worth a handful of XP at most, they're the next step up from rats when it comes to the traditional progression of challenges
for adventurers...Rats, goblins, orcs, the undead, evil humans, then finally demons!
But everyone's got to start *somewhere*.
And even the Gods have forgotten what happens when a pawn
crosses all the way across the board...Concept:
I'm looking for someone to play as your typical goblin - Horny, lecherous, physically weak...But a little more cunning than usual, at least at the start, and his rise to glory!
How does that happen? Well, by getting the better of various gorgeous adventuring women he happens to run into...Women like:
- Rangers, Elven
. Girls like that might be just deprieved
enough to give him a shot...
in general! Tieflings
and sexy Fortune Tellers
...And the rest of your fantasy classes!
I'm aiming for this to be tongue-in-cheek, and somewhat mischievous...With this horny, runty little lecher getting the better of the various vixens he runs into! I'm rather looking for the male player to be the GM - I'll happily play as the girls, but I'm generally more into playing as a PC than driving the overall plot!
A few concepts to follow:The Goblin Squire
Have you heard? Lady Gwyneth,
legendary Paladin, has taken on a...*goblin*...as her squire! Why? What could he *possibly* do for her?
(Alternatively, a younger, sexy Paladin
with a predilection for xenophilia decides to take a goblin as her squire...As a cover for her own particular fetishes!)You all meet in an Inn...
The Inn's the classic place for adventuring parties to meet...And to stay, when they're not roughing it. It's also one of the few places goblins can work, in a menial capacity like floor-sweepers, garbage disposal and so on - As long as they're not *too* in the way. Of course, it's also a great way to get your hands on magical items (If you're quick and smart enough) or to get the better of one of the girls. What happens when the group's gorgeous Rogue
gets a love potion slipped into her food...Or received a potent discharge from an ancient Wand of Charm Person?
Then there are always the gorgeous barkeeps
and tavern wenches
to consider...This game's busted...
This scene is a little odd because it presumes that the fantasy setting is totally real to the characters within it, but also that it follows video-game type mechanics as universal rules. So characters might have invisible levels, stats, status effects, etc, and if you'd like, we could possibly even add some real dice rolls into the scene just for fun. What interests me about this setup is all the ways it can kind of go weirdly wrong. You've probably seen plenty of games with goblin caves or settlements as the starting zones, right? Well, what if they had an end-game level character defending them, for some reason, or had some kind of unfair advantage due to a little quirk in the 'game'? What if one stole your boss kill and ended up becoming super high leveled? How would any new characters get a fair start? Maybe they wouldn't...that could have some unintended balance issues! Legend of the Goblin Hero!
You mean you've never heard of the goblin folk legend Nbox? The legendary bandit who's the reason that the Grimeskin tribe can be found across the land? Why, he traveled across the continent, defeating would-be heroes and heroines
, stealing precious treasures, and leaving a trail of rounded bellies in his wake! By the end of his career, the cunning, bold champion of Kargash was said to have had 44 wives, including famous heroines, priestesses,
and even royalty.
Here, let me tell you a tale of his exploits... Mind Control Madness!
Mind control magic isn't exactly looked kindly upon, and it isn't characteristic of those who quest for good. But it does have its uses! In the right hands, it can save lives, sparing a would-be combatant from a grisly fate and committing them to custody. That's why some sorceresses carry mind control enchanted jewelry. However, in the wrong hands...Say, some little green hands manage to put a mind control circlet on the sorceress who created it? Why, of course she can make more- lots more! Sell them in the city, gift them to the captain of the guard and the local noblewoman? Why not, who would refuse such a pretty trinket?