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Author Topic: Perverb Parodies  (Read 4588 times)

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Offline OreoTopic starter

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Perverb Parodies
« on: January 13, 2016, 05:56:21 PM »


What perverb can you create?

This one has been twisted in my mind since I was a kid. I always got it mixed up with the proper one.

Nature is the mother of invention.

Offline AmberStarfire

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #1 on: January 17, 2016, 09:41:14 AM »
You cannot wake a person who is pretending to be asleep, so let sleeping dogs lie.

Offline Beguile's Mistress

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2016, 09:59:21 AM »
My silver lining almost always has a cloud.

Offline OreoTopic starter

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #3 on: February 27, 2016, 06:24:51 AM »
I don't give a hill of beans for all the tea in China.

Offline OreoTopic starter

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #4 on: March 02, 2016, 06:49:51 AM »
Tossing a grain of salt over ones shoulder might hit an early bird in the eye.

Offline Yugishogun

Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #5 on: March 02, 2016, 07:33:11 AM »
When life gives you lemons, discard them and ask why it didn't give you better fruit.

Offline OreoTopic starter

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #6 on: March 02, 2016, 08:14:17 AM »
OhMahGerd, after that I have to quote BeMi's custom title:

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

Offline AmberStarfire

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #7 on: April 27, 2016, 08:29:18 PM »
If you don't know where you're going, tell me; I forget.

Where there is love, turn your face to the sun.


Offline RampantDesires

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #8 on: April 27, 2016, 08:52:22 PM »
Too many cooks spoil the cake you can't have.

Offline Chi

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #9 on: May 02, 2016, 07:02:32 AM »
Turn the other cheek, then fart really loudly

Offline OreoTopic starter

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #10 on: May 03, 2016, 03:35:20 PM »
Looking a gift horse in the mouth may result in getting the hand that does the feeding bit.

Offline Rhedyn

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #11 on: May 04, 2016, 03:22:23 AM »
Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side because it's fake.

Offline Chi

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #12 on: May 07, 2016, 07:11:17 PM »
If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, beware of lots of bullsquat

Offline RampantDesires

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #13 on: May 07, 2016, 07:14:53 PM »
A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Offline Deamonbane

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #14 on: May 07, 2016, 07:18:52 PM »
If life hands you lemons, you'd better have some sugar and water, else your lemonade is gonna suck.

Offline HannibalBarca

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #15 on: June 13, 2016, 02:46:40 AM »
Haste makes good things come to he who hesitates like the present.

(So many conflicting proverbs about doing things now and being patient!)

Two heads are better than the other side of the hill...but you can't get the early bird to drink.

A stitch in time saves your balls hanging out of your pants.

Necessity is the mother of some dumb bastard.

If you want something done right, discretion is the better part of another man's treasure.

All good things must bite the hand that's mightier than the sword.

Fortune favors the people who live in glass houses.
« Last Edit: June 13, 2016, 02:52:48 AM by HannibalBarca »

Offline MelisaArtemis

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #16 on: June 13, 2016, 04:28:37 AM »
Why finish it now if you can just finish it tommorrow instead?

There is limit to brilliance, but there is no limit to stupidity

Offline HannibalBarca

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #17 on: June 13, 2016, 01:59:01 PM »
Do unto others, as all's fair in love and war.

Offline Miscellany

Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #18 on: June 13, 2016, 02:05:12 PM »
Time only makes old wounds hurt more.

Offline RampantDesires

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #19 on: June 13, 2016, 02:08:49 PM »
When the going gets tough do as the Romans do.

Offline HannibalBarca

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #20 on: June 13, 2016, 02:13:30 PM »
(Would that be conquer everyone, then have a massive orgy afterwards?)

If life gives you lemons, punch it in the dick until it surrenders.
« Last Edit: June 13, 2016, 02:16:25 PM by HannibalBarca »

Offline Miscellany

Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #21 on: June 13, 2016, 02:17:06 PM »
Let the chips fall where they can easily be cleaned up.

Offline HannibalBarca

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #22 on: June 13, 2016, 02:19:57 PM »
Too many cooks fuck things up like nobody's business.

Offline Miscellany

Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #23 on: June 13, 2016, 02:21:17 PM »
A problem shared, is a problem that annoys more than one person.

Offline RampantDesires

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #24 on: June 13, 2016, 02:24:48 PM »
Two heads are better than one, but only as strong as the weakest link.

Offline Miscellany

Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #25 on: June 13, 2016, 02:28:50 PM »
Where there is a will ,  there is a family argument.

Offline HannibalBarca

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #26 on: June 13, 2016, 02:31:14 PM »
If at first you don't succeed, nuke 'em from orbit.

Offline Miscellany

Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #27 on: June 13, 2016, 02:54:16 PM »
What goes up,  must be able to fly.

Offline OreoTopic starter

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #28 on: June 14, 2016, 11:48:52 AM »
A good man is hard to find, except by a friend in need.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #29 on: June 14, 2016, 05:37:11 PM »
A good man is hard to find, but a hard man is very good to find.  :P

Offline OreoTopic starter

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #30 on: June 14, 2016, 05:46:05 PM »
A man with a hammer sees every problem as an opportunity knocking.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #31 on: June 14, 2016, 05:48:48 PM »
You'll only grasp what a hammer really is when it's broken into pieces

(attributed to philosopher Martin Heidegger)

Offline dblkrose

Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #32 on: June 15, 2016, 09:22:25 PM »
She said she would always be there to pick up the pieces... she didn't tell me she would be the one breaking everything.

Offline RampantDesires

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #33 on: June 15, 2016, 09:27:50 PM »
The squeaky wheel gets the grease, but not if its on a cart in front of a horse.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #34 on: June 15, 2016, 10:03:40 PM »
The tooth of time, that cureth every wound, shall gather no rolling moss.  ::)

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #35 on: June 15, 2016, 11:03:38 PM »
The early bird knows how to dig into the loophole.

Offline whimsy

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #36 on: June 15, 2016, 11:09:01 PM »
a stitch in time favors the bold

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #37 on: June 15, 2016, 11:16:00 PM »
Beware of the Day of Doom, when people will go down into their graves up in smoke.

Offline whimsy

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #38 on: June 15, 2016, 11:22:41 PM »
when the going gets tough, the squeaky wheel gets the grease

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #39 on: June 15, 2016, 11:25:50 PM »
A man's gotta do what he shoots from the hip.

Offline whimsy

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #40 on: June 15, 2016, 11:27:46 PM »
hope for the best but don't throw stones

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #41 on: June 15, 2016, 11:28:57 PM »
Empty barrels make the most rumble, but a man in a barrel going down Niagara Falls will silence the crowd...

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #42 on: June 15, 2016, 11:46:29 PM »
god helps those who help themselves, so you can't always get what you want

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #43 on: June 15, 2016, 11:53:14 PM »
When the cop pooped in the woods it came as no surprise to the bear.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #44 on: June 15, 2016, 11:59:00 PM »
if it ain't broke, spoil the broth

Offline RampantDesires

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #45 on: June 16, 2016, 12:01:17 AM »
When the cat's away he's probably leading a horse to water.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #46 on: June 16, 2016, 12:06:02 AM »
Walk a mile in my skirt and heels, she said, and you will learn how to watch your steps.
« Last Edit: June 16, 2016, 12:07:27 AM by gaggedLouise »

Offline whimsy

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #47 on: June 16, 2016, 12:06:40 AM »
beggers can't be an island

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #48 on: June 16, 2016, 12:12:10 AM »
A cleavage is the only thing that you can both look up to and look down upon

(ironic caption for a party pic snapped at a student ball in my college days. The picture showed two not very tall girls in party dresses flanked by two considerably taller guys in tail suits)

Offline whimsy

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #49 on: June 16, 2016, 12:14:49 AM »
don't bite the hand that speaks louder than words

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #50 on: June 16, 2016, 12:18:39 AM »
The cat on the rat, the rat on the rope and the rope was bought by the last capitalist.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #51 on: June 16, 2016, 12:21:29 AM »
the pen is mightier than a free lunch

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #52 on: June 16, 2016, 12:22:10 AM »
If you can see the pink elephant in the porcelain store, make sure you don't get trampled by it.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #53 on: June 16, 2016, 12:24:46 AM »
beauty is the mother of invention

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #54 on: June 16, 2016, 12:30:07 AM »
Never trust a black cat when it crosses the street to direct the traffic.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #55 on: June 16, 2016, 12:30:22 AM »
the journey of a thousand miles is a dangerous thing

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #56 on: June 16, 2016, 12:34:18 AM »
He who wears a royal crown must make sure that everyone else is one head shorter.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #57 on: June 16, 2016, 12:36:26 AM »
don't talk the talk if you can't walk a mile in his shoes

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #58 on: June 16, 2016, 12:46:38 AM »
When in Rome it is no place like home.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #59 on: June 16, 2016, 12:47:47 AM »
blood is thick as thieves

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #60 on: June 16, 2016, 12:48:22 AM »
blood as thick as thieves whoops

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #61 on: June 16, 2016, 12:51:06 AM »
Cleanliness is next to godliness, therefore the pope s**ts in the woods.  :P

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #62 on: June 16, 2016, 12:52:03 AM »
genius is 1% inspiration and 99% crying over spilled milk

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #63 on: June 16, 2016, 12:58:27 AM »
The good captain follows his sinking ship down riding a submarine.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #64 on: June 16, 2016, 01:00:18 AM »
you can't get blood from a rolling stone

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #65 on: June 16, 2016, 01:02:58 AM »
God helps the man who remembers to pay before you pray.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #66 on: June 16, 2016, 01:04:23 AM »
judge not lest ye be judged for there's no such thing as bad publicity

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #67 on: June 16, 2016, 01:16:52 AM »
A squeaky wheel gets the grease and a greasy eel gets the squeeze.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #68 on: June 16, 2016, 01:23:05 AM »
the more the merrier (but three's a crowd)

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #69 on: June 16, 2016, 01:23:58 AM »
Follow the (shady) money and the rumour of your death might be somewhat exaggerated.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #70 on: June 16, 2016, 01:29:42 AM »
Fortune favours the bold... not the italicized or the underlined. 8-)

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #71 on: June 16, 2016, 01:30:28 AM »
if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all; the customer is always right

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #72 on: June 16, 2016, 02:22:24 AM »
When the going gets tough, do as the Romans.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #73 on: June 16, 2016, 06:36:55 AM »
Once bitten to your hand, you don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #74 on: June 16, 2016, 06:45:49 AM »
Fortune favours the bold... not the italicized or the underlined. 8-)

This made me laugh a little too hard for this early in the morning :P  Well done.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stranger.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #75 on: June 16, 2016, 07:02:29 AM »
Something is happening here, and you don't know what it is till the fat lady sings - and those drinking glasses begin to break.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #76 on: June 16, 2016, 05:25:57 PM »
When life gives you lemons the size of melons, its time to migrate away from Chernobyl.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #77 on: June 16, 2016, 05:29:38 PM »
no pain, no gain, no rest for the wicked

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #78 on: June 16, 2016, 05:36:46 PM »
When the going gets Trump, the Trump gets going. :'(

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #79 on: June 16, 2016, 06:10:56 PM »
When the going gets Trump, the Trump gets going. :'(

Too true! :)

When a lady says no, she means: you gotta say yes to another excess!  :P


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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #80 on: June 16, 2016, 06:55:16 PM »
I haven't failed yet, just found 99 excuses why Tesla's better and that's okay. Rubles are on his but time's on my side! >:)

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #81 on: June 26, 2016, 07:28:01 AM »
No true Scotsman would want to break up the United Kingdom, unless you've attempted to have a look under his kilt. 

:P

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #82 on: June 26, 2016, 08:33:59 AM »
The penis is mightier than the sword.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #83 on: July 11, 2016, 08:42:58 AM »
Life is what happens when you're busy making lemons.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #84 on: July 11, 2016, 09:13:19 AM »
The Devil is in the details, so nail him with a silver hammer instead of a big stick.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #85 on: July 11, 2016, 05:14:18 PM »
A chain is only as strong as the Devil you know.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #86 on: July 13, 2016, 08:35:00 AM »
Life is a box of the ones you love.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #87 on: August 13, 2016, 09:25:41 AM »
Actions speak louder than birds of a feather flocking together.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #88 on: August 13, 2016, 10:34:16 AM »
Karma is a tax auditor.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #89 on: August 13, 2016, 05:00:46 PM »
Don't make a mountain out of meeting your troubles halfway.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #90 on: August 13, 2016, 07:01:40 PM »
It's hard to be a saint in the city of tricolore halo lights.  ;)

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #91 on: August 13, 2016, 08:08:09 PM »
Better the Devil you know than the mother of invention.

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Re: Perverb Parodies
« Reply #92 on: August 13, 2016, 08:17:30 PM »
When you've taken the Devil into your boat, Captain, you must go down under with the ship.