Nightmare by definition of dictionary.com:
1. a terrifying dream in which the dreamer experiences feelings of helplessness, extreme anxiety, sorrow, etc.
2.a condition, thought, or experience suggestive of a nightmare:
the nightmare of his years in prison.
3.(formerly) a monster or evil spirit believed to oppress persons during sleep.
Nightmares are very much terrifying, as the first definition explains. Within my past, i have had many countless nightmares. i didn't so much have them when i was a child. Sure, i thought alligators were under my bed so i didn't dare get up in the middle of the night. Other than that, i dreampt of different happy things. Running in a field full of flowers and butterflies, surrounding myself with different animals (deer, rabbits etc). i would have never expected, being 30 years old, that i would have nightmares the way i do now.
Back in 2010 i kicked out my ex-fiance on his bum. Yes, his bum. He had to leave. i gave him 1 hour to pack up any whatever he wanted to bring with him and he had to be gone. Bye bye. Yes, i was sad but at the same time i was relieved because i was safe. i knew i was safe. Well, sort of. i had to get out of where i was living because it was not very safe nor was i comfortable living there. Anyways... i was safe from him. i startin packing because i knew i was moving somewhere just didn't know where. LOL.
In the meantime of all this packing and working, i started to have nightmares. i was in an abusive relationship with my ex-fiance. To sum it up and show the severity quickly, he had threatened that he was going to kill me if i called the cops on him. That was when he was yelling at me, throwing things at me etc. i knew right then i was done. i was SO DONE! Within these nightmares, they are some of the abuse that he had/said to me when we were engaged. Unfortunately, the nightmares still continue.
i kicked him out 5 years ago in May and i still have the nightmares. They have become less frequent, but they still happen. Before they would come and go maybe a week would pass by and i would have them once a week maybe. Much better than back to back all night long.
They are starting today, again. They have been almost nightly (once a night) for the past couple weeks now. Luckily, i did NOT have one last night. *cheers* Still, i am so tired of all this nightmare stuffs. He is gone. Yeah, he has tried to contact me a few different ways here and there. But i just ignore it all. He is gone.
i can't ignore the nightmares. i try. When i fall asleep i imagine being high in the sky riding a dragon that will protect me. We fly with the stars, with the waves of the ocean, between the clouds that are so puffy we fly up high enough we can still see the sun. It is beautiful. One of the most beautiful sights i have ever seen in my life. Then the nightmare slips in when i am deeper in sleep and uncontrolled of my brain.
They are scary and not something i really want to mess with. They are also something i don't want to have too. i change them so i can "win" the dream. There have been several times recently that i can't. i don't "win." i still end up getting hurt.
You ask me "are you afraid to fall asleep?"
My response "absolutely."
Everybody to reads this, along with your family, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, whomever... i hope they have a pleasant sleep. As for me... i hope i have a dreamless sleep.