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Author Topic: Melodious Blog -A lyrical adventure  (Read 12921 times)

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Online Oniya

Re: Melodious Blog - A semi-daily lyrical adventure
« Reply #25 on: July 06, 2015, 06:27:53 pm »
There are lawyers who will take Workmans Comp cases for a percentage of the ruling (i.e., they don't get paid unless you get paid).  If HR keeps dragging their heels, having one of these guys in your court - and especially as a 'cc' on any documentation sent out can be, shall we say, motivating.

Offline SweetSerenadeTopic starter

Re: Melodious Blog - A semi-daily lyrical adventure
« Reply #26 on: July 06, 2015, 06:38:28 pm »
There are lawyers who will take Workmans Comp cases for a percentage of the ruling (i.e., they don't get paid unless you get paid).  If HR keeps dragging their heels, having one of these guys in your court - and especially as a 'cc' on any documentation sent out can be, shall we say, motivating.

All of the working I do with my employment is through coming in person. Because phone calls get pushed aside pretty easily. I'm going to push hard. If they drag too much I will be making this a claim issue. Because this is causing undue stress on my living situation. Loss of companionship for my daughter because of how badly my injury is effecting my relationships and ability to care for those around me... As well as loss of work, which I NEED that extra income. I lose 40$ everyday I don't work. So far that's 80$ of lost wages.

With the Doctor's note, that means another 120$ of lost income, making $200 of lost income. Mind you I don't get ANY work comp until I've missed 4 days of work, and I only get paid for missing the 4th day. I might get the first 3 missed days if I am out for 14 consecutive work days. Mind you I am usually scheduled as a varied marking between Thursday and Sunday of every week. I generally work anywhere from 1-4 days a week, so I'm not sure how it's even going to get filed. I have no set schedule, so I could very easily be screwed over in this. But I generally work Friday to Sunday, when I was working actively before I left for my trip.

I'm hoping thigns get handled professionally otherwise I am going to be getting one of those work comp lawyers. It already feels like they were trying to blame me, just by how they PHRASED things on the Work comp paperwork we did. Literally they wrote 'Slipped on "something" behind front counter.'.... that "Something" really pisses me off. Because it feels like they don't believe I got injured there, even though the MANAGER ON SHIFT AT THE TIME was the one that helped me regain my balance.

Offline SweetSerenadeTopic starter

Re: Melodious Blog - A semi-daily lyrical adventure
« Reply #27 on: July 12, 2015, 04:31:38 pm »
July 12th,2015

So things have been really painful, but I am getting over it slowly. Had my MRI on Friday, after having to wait several days for SAIF to even recognize there was a situation going on. Not that it was their fault, apparently my work did misfile things, or the first claim was never filed at all. I am staying on top of things, and making sure to keep SAIF and my work informed. I keep in touch with the doctor if I have any symptoms that worry me, and I have been generally just trying to take care of myself as much as possible.

This injury has taken a large toll on my ability to write, or my want to write. I have been doing the best I can to try to respond within a certain time period, but sometimes I just have no interest in posting because I am in just too much pain.

Tomorrow, around Four pm, I will find out what the results of my MRI were. The Doctor told me at a minimum I will have to do physical therapy, and can return to work on a light/modified workload. If it's worse than that, the chances are I will need a readjustment that relieves the pressure on the nerve that is pinched in my spine, or even so far as to have a procedure to fix it. Either way, the option that is worse would end up with more time off, and more time for healing, before I can even consider coming back on a light or modified duty.

SAIF appears to be on my side, and they are doing everything they can to help me. I am just hoping that my job doesn't try to fuck me over because someone else wasn't doing their jobs properly. Here is to hoping for the better, and for hoping that my muse pick up continues so I can get caught up on everything I owe currently.

Offline SweetSerenadeTopic starter

Re: Melodious Blog - A semi-daily lyrical adventure
« Reply #28 on: July 29, 2015, 02:31:48 pm »
The Last 17 days

Well, this is going to be a bit of a long update. Last time we spoke it was the 12th of July, now it's the 29th. That's a lot of time to cover, but I can get you updated on quite a lot. So the MRI went well, the doctor was able to find out a lot about my back. Non-related to the Work Comp issues - we discovered I have arthritis, already, in my lower back. This could explain some of my pain, but not all. The Doctor at that point decided it was time to get me referred to Physical therapy. Which began a few days after the Doctor's apt.

The First physical Therapy appointment did not go well. Especially since my painkillers were not working. I was in so much pain that the Therapist couldn't even have me do any exercise. He gave me a book that talked about back pain, and told me to read it. I went home after that. But there was other news, that was a little more important to me at the time. I went to the college, the day before the Physical Therapy Appointment, and spent the entire day at the college doing placement exams as well as getting all of my Orientation stuff done. By the end of it all I knew what I was taking, how many credits I'd be taking, and I had a better sense of worth.

The Physical Therapist did tell me that I needed at least two appointments a week for at least the next four weeks, and also mentioned that I needed to get my stress cut down. So I spent the weekend cutting all of my controllable stresses. I was a little bummed at the fact that I would be under so much stress - in a sense, from all the constant appointments. But it was ok, because I know I will get better.

I went to the Doctor again, telling him what the Therapist said. He gave me a modified work note, and I turned it in. Work still wouldn't putu me on the schedule because they had no positions for the modified work the Doctor cleared me for. Two Physical therapy appointments later, I find  out that I was supposed to be going to work on the THursday I had an appointment. I told my work that I could come in the next morning, for the shifts they scheduled me for.

I am still in a lot of pain, and have been going back to work on severely modified duty. But right now, right now I have some major news on my head. At the Doctor's apt yesterday, the Doctor decided I need another MRi for something my knee is doing. He is probably going to send me to an Orthopedic Doctor soon. Unfortunately, it was mostly in relation to the fact that my Doctor thinks there is a displaced Tendon - because I am still having inflammation in my knee that was injured.

Physical therapy is doing well, and I'm getting ready for Kumoricon. Baby is growing well, and generally I'm trying to get better at keeping people up to date. I'll start working on it a bit more.

On a small note, my FAFSA should be completely cleared through and I'll be going to school in the fall! I'm taking Math 60, because I want to take a step back and make sure I have my mind properly refreshed on math. I'm also going to be taking a Writing Composition course, which will help me increase my writing skills even further. Other than that, I needed one more class in order to get my full time student status, so I selected Japanese 101. I'm going to begin learning languages not my birth language! I will keep doing this all through the two years I need to gain the 90 credits for my Associates of General Studies degree! I am so excited to be expanding my knowledge, and attending school! This is going to be one of the most amazing things possible for me.

Online Oniya

Re: Melodious Blog - A semi-daily lyrical adventure
« Reply #29 on: July 29, 2015, 02:49:14 pm »
If you want some no-stress, no-cost (but also no-credit) refreshers, Khan Academy is the bomb!

Offline SweetSerenadeTopic starter

Re: Melodious Blog - A semi-daily lyrical adventure
« Reply #30 on: July 29, 2015, 02:52:01 pm »
If you want some no-stress, no-cost (but also no-credit) refreshers, Khan Academy is the bomb!

I actually wanted to do the credited version, because I only need 16 Math and 16 writing credits to have that section cleared for my Associates Degree qualifications. So I figured why not take a step back, relearn and then use that knowledge to help teach a friend Math so he can get his GED <3
Thank you for popping By Oniya, it's nice to see you keeping up on my life. It makes me feel loved, and lets me know that someone is looking out for me.

Online Oniya

Re: Melodious Blog - A semi-daily lyrical adventure
« Reply #31 on: July 29, 2015, 02:57:18 pm »
I'm not saying to not take the credited version...  >:)  But if you go into a review class like Math 60 after having already done independent review, you can boost your overall GPA.  ;D

I accidentally did this my first year in college, since I had been in advanced math classes in high school.  Spent my first semester waiting for the professor to get to something new.

Offline SweetSerenadeTopic starter

Re: Melodious Blog - A semi-daily lyrical adventure
« Reply #32 on: July 29, 2015, 03:14:45 pm »
I'm also doing it because I'm going to be teaching my friend. <3 I want to help him get his GED. But yeah, I also think it's better for me, as of how I learn. Plus I only need 16 credits in math - and 16 in Writing - to fully qualify for that part of my Associates Degree. So the rest of the credits will be built up with ulterior courses. I'm hoping to take ballet in the Winter. <3

Offline SweetSerenadeTopic starter

Re: Melodious Blog - A semi-daily lyrical adventure
« Reply #33 on: July 31, 2015, 12:19:42 am »
July 30th

I got the email today! The one that told me I had been approved for my student grant! I nearly jumped to the moon when I found I qualified for the full amount available! Further than that I was actually shown some really awesome student loan information. I think, with the right application, in the future a Student loan would actually be a really good idea for me and my family. It would help me build credit, and I wouldn't borrow as much as they were offering. It could be an affordable way (With payments of 50$ a month!) for me to build credit and pull myself out of the hole I'm in.

With my Award finalized and my Pell Grant available... I just have to wait till next Friday when my classes open for registration! I am practically crying with joy, honestly. I am so excited to be going to college. Each term I do I earn more credits and can register for classes even sooner!

So today I had physical therapy, we discovered new more disturbing issues with my knee as well as a new discovery that something in my back keeps popping and grinding during specific activities. My physical therapist is a bit concerned and told me to watch out when I was doing my practice exercises. I've been trying to get in at least two walks a day, usually manage at least one, that are at least a 10 minute walk. I'm going to have to modify a few thigns, and build up a little system for me to do walking. Mostly because it's bloody hot and I'll need the appropriate gear to facilitate this.

Oh yes, what my work did - they basically had me go straight to work after physical therapy. I was thrown into the drive through, again, and then put on to watching videos. My manager seems rather annoyed that I made sure to tell her that I need to come in late on Friday next week - because of classes registration. I also gave her my scheduled Physical Therapy appointments, so now she has absolutely no excuse for scheduling me that close to my appointment.

I'm still in a lot of pain, but I'm advancing. Making a game of it, as best as I can. I know I need to physically get better, and as I get better I'll be more able to do things I really want to do. I'm also looking at the possibility of getting a membership at the local gym, as expensive as it might be, so I have a better outlet for exercise. If anything I can make an hour for myself each day,after I have it, and ask one of my house mates to watch my daughter so I can exercise.

Anyways... I think that's it for now.

Offline SweetSerenadeTopic starter

Re: Melodious Blog - A semi-daily lyrical adventure
« Reply #34 on: August 16, 2015, 01:47:32 am »
July 30th to August 15th

Well this is a bit of a stretch to catch up on. I can't believe I kept holding off on writing another entry. I was just so tired, and constantly stressing. It's been a bit chaotic, honestly, and a bit bothersome.

So, MRI was done, on August 4th. Which was a bit of a stressful day, the MRI on my knee was done - and then I had to head on back home. Called up to find out about my appointment, for physical therapy, only to find out there was a mix up in the system. We adjusted it, I got my scheduled appointment on time. But once again 'misadventures' with Burger King. I stopped by to double check the schedule to find out when I was working. There was some serious discrepancies of when I was and wasn't supposed to work.

A bit of an understanding, before I was even hired I made it clear I couldn't work Monday through Wednesday due to child care options. They not only tried to schedule me to work on the SAME Tuesday (later in the day) That I had an MRI and a Physical therapy appointment, but they tried to schedule me to work the Wednesday right after that. One of the managers, the nicer one - the newest one - sat me down to fix the issue. Because she at least remembered what I said. Turns out she got in trouble for 'fixing' the schedule issues.

Which also had me scheduled to work during a time that I requested to come in later, it wasn't really a request, I pretty much told Burger King that August 7th was my class registration day. That I was not going to be even be able to come in till after a certain time. Turns out they tried to schedule me RIGHT in the middle of when I had to schedule classes.

The nice manager helped me adjust everything, and I continued onward with all of my appointments and traveling. August 7th I signed up for my classes. I am officially a College student, and that's a big giant middle finger in the faces of the people that constantly told me I'd never make it. I'll be taking a Writing Composition class online; Mathematics, Ballet, and Japanese will be on campus. I'm already working on getting other things arranged as well.

I had my Doctors Appointment for the MRI this last Tuesday, and it seems all is good. Though I have some arthritis in my knee too, which absolutely baffles the Doctor because I'm only 26. Well, those with really flexible joints to sometimes have more issues. But it's ok, I'll be talking to my Primary care provider about that.

Work this week was not pleasant, on Thursday I had to go to work before I had physical therapy. Even though my shift was only two and a half hours on Thursday - reduced hours... - I was still near crying by the end of the shift. Between the strangely bipolar way my Manager kept changing her mind about my position, to the fact that it is obviously My fault that I was the only one working front counter and someone ordered 12 milkshakes at once - so it's my fault when I couldn't expedite several orders at the same time as making all the milkshakes. I was doing exactly what I had been taught to which was follow the orders based on what is on the screen.

Ever since I got back from being injured, and ever since they started me on Drive through work, I have been having more and more difficulty with the job. The last four times I worked there was literally absolutely no break, which I generally got a small 10 minute one in the middle . Everything collapsed down around me on Thursday when I was standing at the french fry station and I couldn't see for a good span of time. My world literally narrowed down and my hands caught me on the counter by the french fry area. I just stood there staring. That's when the manager decided to scream at me for a customer walking out, because the guys in the back weren't making burgers fast enough - so it's obviously my fault... when I hand't even had a chance to get to them yet.

I went to physical therapy after the day from living hell, and ended up nearly collapsing in a sobbing wreck in the therapists office. My physical therapist was visibly angered at the way I had been driven at work, when I had given them a notice of my appointment the week before. Obviously since the Doctor released me to full work that meant that my job could ride me into the ground and put me away without proper clean up. this effected my physical therapy appointment, as it made it nearly impossible to do most of my exercises. Because I hadn't been given a break I also hadn't been able to eat anything - thus I had been unable to take my pain meds.

They also made me stay late and I barely caught the bus I needed to make it to my physical therapy on thursday.

The good news was on Tuesday after physical therapy I ran into a woman that is interested in giving me her bike. Since I did a kindness for her, and she heard some of my story when we were on the bus, she wanted to help me. I've been working on those details with her over text.

I have been working to try to make sure I have all my school stuff arranged, get caught up on all my writing (again), and make sure that I am keeping my place clean. Overall things have just been piling up on me mentally and I just want a /real/ break.

All I want right now is like two days for me to vanish into a hotel room and not have to leave unless I want to leave. Just two days to do whatever I want.

Yes I have my Anime convention coming up, of which I will be an Assistant manager at, but that's not really the kind of break I am looking for.

I'll try to get better at updating all of you.

Offline SweetSerenadeTopic starter

Re: Melodious Blog - A semi-daily lyrical adventure
« Reply #35 on: August 16, 2015, 09:42:28 pm »
August 16th

Exhaustion, that's a good word for today. Exhaustion. My daughter isn't sleeping well, she was up really late last night. She didn't crash until 1am, and then spent the next four and a half hours being in and out of slumber. I couldn't get to sleep till about 5:30 am, because she was constantly waking up. I'm not sure what's wrong with her, but unfortunately there wasn't much I could do. My husband watched the baby so I could try to sleep in a little this morning.

After I got up, somewhere after only about 6 ish hours of sleep, I came downstairs to help with my daughter. She managed to crash for her usual nap, and I passed out with her. After the nap was over we started cleaning in the house. we are getting a lot of cleaning one today, as well as laundry. Tonight i get to put a lot away, and tomorrow I get to finish everything up.

I am going to try to work on all my writing, but I'm also planning for school. I need to get a good bike lock, and safety gear. Also gotta work on getting a bike repair kit. I plan on biking partially to school, and then taking the bus for other parts. I'm really interested in making sure that I can get super healthy, and so I can do well in Ballet.

Anyways, I'm just mostly exhausted. I'm trying to stay caught up...

Offline SweetSerenadeTopic starter

Re: Melodious Blog - A semi-daily lyrical adventure
« Reply #36 on: August 19, 2015, 08:31:09 pm »
August 17th-19th

What can I say, time got away from me again. I wanted to stay caught up on everything, and was just dealing with everything that life invovles. Getting lost in the stress of preparing for college, finding out I had no scheduled work hours for this week. I think that's their way of giving me the finger for turning in my two week notice. Since this isn't a right to work state... they really aren't required to give a Part time employee hours. But whatever, that's just one more thing to stress me as I try to make ends meet.

Because my husbands pay increased a little bit we had a 60$ drop in our SNAP, which is going to stretch the budget even thinner. Looks like I'm eating ramen quite often now, hey look College student diet! Not joking, I'm going to be eating Ramen. My daughter will always eat well, even if I do not.

Working on getting my bike, friend had to hold it off till this paycheck - how can I complain? I'm getting help getting my bike, I shouldn't be a pushy brat.

I have to go get my School ID, and I also have a friend showing up from Florida at the end of next week. Husbands birthday is monday, and on lighter news I may also be seeing my crush on that day too. Yay me!

Offline SweetSerenadeTopic starter

Re: Melodious Blog -A lyrical adventure
« Reply #37 on: November 26, 2016, 01:41:01 pm »
November 26th, 2016

Wow ok, it's been a long time. As such there is quite a bit of work I need to do. To be honest, things have changed so much since over a year ago. September of 2015 I started my first year as a college student. I am focusing on an Associates of General Studies, and I am focusing on Languages as my field of work. That Job Market isn't too over saturated, but and the entry level for the job is actually really good.

But that's besides the point, you are all probably wondering why Sweet has been pretty out of it. Why I stopped doing updates, to put it simply - life really got to me.

College proved to be more time consuming than I thought, furthermore - learning Japanese was a lot harder than I thought it would be. But I have gotten through my first year of college, and I'm a third of my way through my second year of college. I have a bit of a road ahead of me, but I'm looking forward to it. It's just the way of things, one could say.

Alright, so it's time to dip into a bit more than I previously mentioned.

A lot of people remember that I was dealing with depression, mostly because of my living situation. We are still living with the In-Laws, but things have gotten bad in a different regard. Just after my birthday, we found out my father in law is now an insulin dependent diabetic. He already had problems with following a diet, and things got pretty bad there for a bit. It was a bit annoying for awhile there, with the constant fighting over diet changes and portion control. There was a lot of appointments, and the house was in a constant upheaval for awhile. Finally, it seemed like things would level out.

Then, I overheard my mother in law talking about how the house was going to go into foreclosure. She had lied to me again, about the situation the house was in, and it put me through a loop. I was just starting my second year of school, and this came up. I was in shock, I was angry, and I was not going to let her get away with it this time. We, as the family, had a discussion and we are currently in the process of working on Foreclosure avoidance procedures. She is working on getting a re-adjustment on the mortgage, and we are just trying to get by.

Me and my husband, some friends, and my daughter, all went to a convention just before Halloween weekend. The one in Portland, not the one in Sea-Tac... couldn't pay me enough to go to /that/ con. Kumo is my home, and I wouldn't give it up for the world.

Day Zero of con was a bit rough, I had to get everything organized and packed - get everyone to the hotel. Got two hotel rooms checked in, and got everyone settled. Helped everyone get to their rooms, had a shower and left con to go to my Math class. Came back late at night, and tried to relax and enjoy a few drinks before the big convention weekend. I thought it was going to be a real relaxing situation, I was really really wrong. Just a little into Friday morning (we are talking just after midnight really) I got a call from my mother in law... Father in law had a seizure. He had never had seizures in his life, but he had a seizure. She asked me to get hubby to the hospital so he could be there. I blanked, I freaked, I went on survival mode. As much as I dislike his parents, I love my husband. I love him a lot, and his happiness is important to me.

Cue me trying to get into our hotel room, and having to pound on the door at almost 1am. Good news was, people were still in the halls hanging out and generally goofing around, the entire floor was congoers so they understood the Day Zero festivities... I stumble through asking the Gnome (our friend from Wisconsin) if he's had too much to drive, and he hadn't... though he had one bitch beer(Mike's Hard, that sorta thing) ... I turn to hubby and tell him and the two of them leave. I'm left in this swirling vortex of what the fuck just happened.

Con weekend happens, and things are a bit sad. I have someone that I have sort of been seeing for almost a year, a wonderful friend that I was getting closer to. He promised that weekend we would spend time together, by Saturday night I had seen him for a grand total of half and hour - when he came into my hotel room and took my daughter - who was fighting her nap - and brought her into the room next to ours to calm her down and make her nap. It worked, but that was the longest span of time I had seen him to that point.

I felt detached from the con as a whole, and was trying to find a reason to continue going. So I go out to the con space at my husbands insistence, and try to find some fun things to do. It's late on saturday night, so there isn't any kids to really worry about. Things seem to be going generally good, and I'm having fun. I head back to my hotel room at about 1am, and then settle down to rest and do some homework. Then I get a phonecall at about 3am on Sunday, October 30th, and my world spins down again. It's mother in law, she says father in law had another seizure. That's two within about 48 hours, both considered serious enough to go to the hospital. She tells me not to tell hubby till the morning, and I stay awake till almost 5am... waiting for her to call back and say her and dad are heading home.

We get back, and everything spins out of control. Things are so stressful I have to drop a class. I dont' notice the signs of my own declining health, and keep pushing myself with my Second Year Japanese - and with my Pre-Calculus since I had to drop my Asian Religion class. I'm going for an Asian Studies Certification addition to my degree, since my overall focus is going to be languages and cultural advocacy...

Well things keep going, and keep getting worse. Tons of things started piling up. I didn't notice the signs that I had health problems, and so I just thought the stress was making me crack.

This last week we found out that my father in law had a pearl sized (we are talking pearl necklace pearl) mass in his left frontal lobe... It seemed that was the last straw... and I started to crack. I started to have symptoms of a developing uterine cyst... and I missed class on monday and tuesday. Wednesday I tried to be in class, but it did very little good. I ended up realizing that I had been through a ridiculous amount of feminine products since I woke up, and then the worry really set in. I went to the hospital straight from class, turns out I have abnormal uterine bleeding with lowered blood counts and iron levels. Not enough for transfusion or injections. I am ordered to take it easy.

That's not happening. I was up till 1am on thursday cleaning the dining room, and even scrubbing the floor a bit. Thursday when I wake up I am roped into cleaning the house from 7am till about 1pm... I'm exhausted, I'm tired, I'm bleeding heavily. Things are seeming to be ok now, but I have to worry about stuff with my Japanese class.

While I was drugged up for pain, which is all the hospital could do for me on Monday (my first visit to discover I had a cyst forming) - I ended up completing a Japanese Composition... with a lot of help from Google. Teacher sent me an email saying she wanted to speak with me. Now I have to wait to make a doctor's appointment for the abnormal uterine bleeding, and figure out how I'm goign to save myself in this class. I am starting to realize that the chances of that happening are really really slim. So now my schooling is at risk in a way.

I am not sure how I'm going to keep surviving. But I've found a return in my mind, to the wish of roleplaying. It's one of the few joys I have anymore...

Offline SweetSerenadeTopic starter

Re: Melodious Blog -A lyrical adventure
« Reply #38 on: November 28, 2016, 10:51:46 pm »
November 28th, 2016

One would hope that after my plate has been filled with such a ration of insanity... that things would lighten up. Nope, Sensei was honest with me today and said that I was not ready for Japanese 202, she said that she really thought it was best I wait till next year. SO there it is, the one thing I was super passionate about in school, has been yanked out from under me. I am going to modify how I am learning, so that I can use next term to do a credit boost for my degree, and then prepare for Japanese in fall 2017 by taking 103 in my upcoming spring term. I just have to make it through the rest of this one, and Winter Term.

Sensei also suggested I look into a medical withdrawal from my courses, as it could be really useful for me. It would be a W on my transcript, for both of the classes I am currently taking, but it wouldn't be an F - which is way more damaging than a W. I have to do what I can to do everything in my power to work out my classes now.

As it stands I am taking Psychology 201 -Intro to Psychology, Into to Music, Beginner's Keyboarding, and Business Administrations 101 - Intro to Business. Physchology and Business Administrations are both 'ground setters' for required courses I need for my degree. I can work my way up to the next highest level of BA in Spring Term, and start taking the BA level I really need for my Degree in Fall 2017. The Psychology is a good spring board because I need to get a 200 level Pscyh class under my belt so I can reach to the level needed for the 208(I believe) I need for my Psychology credit of my degree(It's part of the 'core requirements' section of the Social Sciences, go figure?)

These are good and bad things, as it means that what I was working so hard on, has just slipped through my fingers at this time and place. I have been torn up over it, and I'm fighting away a monstrous headache.

I can't even go to my Japanese final as that's the first available Doctor's Appointment my clinic had, lucky me... I get to miss it if I dont' get a medical withdrawal, and I will end up getting my worst term EVER in my history of college (which isn't that long and honestly stabs me in the heart.)

Starting to feel that drowning feeling again...

Offline SweetSerenadeTopic starter

Re: Melodious Blog -A lyrical adventure
« Reply #39 on: November 30, 2016, 11:06:18 am »
November 30th, 2016

So Mother in law and Father in Law went to a Doctor's Appointment Yesterday for most of the day. I found out that some stuff is up with my father in law, but no one gave me the full dish as I was elbows deep in Japanese homework when they got back. I was essentially zoned out.

Father in laws mass is believed to be a likely tumor of some sort, due to how rapidly it grew - and because of his lab work. In his MRI in July, end of July, there was nothing in his brain. Now, as of last monday, there is a Pea sized lump. Surgery is next week.

I feel... numb?

Offline SweetSerenadeTopic starter

Re: Melodious Blog -A lyrical adventure
« Reply #40 on: December 01, 2016, 07:02:16 pm »
December 1st, 2016

So, things are getting interesting. No matter what i do, I am failing Japanese, but I have a chance to request a grade adjustment with a Medical Withdrawal (after the fact), which will result in a modification to my transcript. I will be put in 'warning' status next term, but I am busting ass to work on my Math Grade. Instructor has decided rest of Math for the term is Open Book and Open Note, and he's going to work on Exam modifiers to help me past. My Math instructor was the only one I never told everything too and when he found out how much I was dealing with, and I told him about my exam grades... his response was "Holy Toledo.. Yes next week we do exam modifiers"... So there is hope for me getting a rather good grade in Math!

Now on to the really bad stuff. My Doctors Appointment is Wednesday, but Monday morning my father in law leaves for his surgery. He will be in the ICU for the first day, and then he will be in the hospital until Thursday. This is to help make sure the post-operation time period is handled properly. Brain surgery, I'm actually really scared. 2016 has not been kind, and I am hoping it doesn't throw one last nasty curveball before the Holiday season.

I've started roleplaying again, and it's really been helping my mood. I need to start making scarves again, and finish up the ones I have to make for family - so I can start working on friends and commissions. Which reminds me - I need to make more pompoms for my Jack Frost's Scarf... as well as finish the Ravenclaw scarf I am making.

Honestly, I am just trying to get by. A friend messaged me today, and let me know that he is there to help support - which is really helpful. He reminded me of a truth I keep overlooking. I am a strong woman, and I have been handed a hard life, but I am doing what I can to survive. That is all I can do.

I have to get ready for Math class, leaving in about 40 minutes or so, I wish you all a wonderful evening.

Sweet Out.

Offline SweetSerenadeTopic starter

Re: Melodious Blog -A lyrical adventure
« Reply #41 on: December 07, 2016, 11:01:05 pm »
December 7, 2016

Alright, so where to start? Reviewing what I wrote last time, will help me figure out exactly all that I need you to hear from me.

Father in law went in for his Surgery on Monday morning. They took a bit longer than scheduled because they found more than one tumor when they went in. Good news is, even though the tumors baffled the surgeon... the tumors are benign no cancer! He should be returning home tomorrow, which will make things a little more interesting here. I'm spending the night trying to do cleaning, and all of that jazz -in the hopes that I can make things a little more presentable when he returns.

I took my Math Exam, and I'll find out tomorrow night if I passed. But I have good confidence that I did. I have to work on my Math final, studying for it... and other than that I should be good to go.

I went to the Doctor today, I need an ultrasound to figure out what's going on with me. They also took more samples for testing, just in case. I also have a Psych appointment next week on Thursday, so that we can begin discussing the possibility of getting me on some things for Anti-Anxiety and actually pinning down a diagnosis of what is the 'source' of my troubles. Hopefully, things go well.

That's it for now really, just working on roleplaying and catching up on talking to people.

Offline SweetSerenadeTopic starter

Re: Melodious Blog -A lyrical adventure
« Reply #42 on: December 08, 2016, 05:53:21 pm »
When you hope as hope is known
From your heart seeds of chaos sown
Try as you might to escape this fate
It seems that you are never meant for happiness’ gate
Try as you might, climb as you will
For the future this flute will never trill
Seek and yearn
Twist and burn
From your heart the pain will flow
Into the darkness your soul will go
Seek to find that which cannot be found
For yours is hopes that will never leave the ground
You try, and you seek
But it was never yours to keep
The hard to find truth of it all
The truth is that you will always fall
No matter how hard you try
No matter how you seek to fly
Your wings will always be ripped free
From the limbs of the truthful tree
Nothing you do will matter in the end
Because no matter how you try you’ll always bend
Seek and yearn
Twist and Burn
No matter how much you hope
I'll never escape this rope

Offline SweetSerenadeTopic starter

Re: Melodious Blog -A lyrical adventure
« Reply #43 on: December 31, 2016, 01:01:03 pm »
December 31st, 2-16

So wow, yes, a lot has happened since the Seventh, when I last posted an update.

I didn't get a very good grade on the Exam, but I took make up exams that helped my grade. I took my final the on the 13th, and I actually got a good enough grade that I actually managed to get to get a C in Math at the end. The day before my final my father in law went in for his Brain surgery. They removed two tumors.

Getting ready for the Holidays wasn't the easiest, but they managed to pass without a hitch. Without much of one. Things are a bit tight around here, but it's still good.

To be honest, I've been fighting with Depression and Anxiety for awhile. I started going to the Doctor for my own health problems, and we discussed me seeing a Shrink. That first appointment was on Thursday, and a Doctor's appointment followed that up.

The result was me being put on Lexapro. I have to say, it's strange - but ... After being on it for a day - I can sense a sort of change? I woke up feeling better than I ever have. I haven't woken up and felt like this in awhile.

I'm doing good in all of my games, I have many running - all at different intervals and I even have a potential Four games I'll be in.

I'm going to start trying to do a semi-daily, every couple of days or so, updates to this blog so that I have something of a journal to help me out.

Maybe it will help me with how I've been feeling about things, and maybe it will help me keep my thoughts organized.