Topic: Melodious Blog -A lyrical adventure

[SweetSerenade]

Interesting title, not sure why I used it. I have been given permission to start a blog, and I mostly wanted it as a means to focus myself and gather my thoughts. Mostly just day to day stuff, when I can remember to post daily... As well as small vents and rants, that have no real bearing on anyone on here. Things will be kept vague for reasons, and people are welcome to post (I will respond to you if you do) any thoughts they might have on things.

Remember to follow all of E's rules, and I'll make sure that I keep this as PG-13 as I possibly can. I'll even dial back my cursing, so that I don't step on any toes.



April 30th, 2015

Today I went for job orientation, at first I was worried. The interview didn't go too good, and that worried me a bit. But my Orientation today, and the geeking out I did with the Orientation Manager - changed my view on the job. Yes, I'll be one of those minimum wage Burger Flippers, not because I am lazy - or a bad worker - because it's what I could manage to get with what was at hand. I'm limited to part time work, meaning I'll be gone Thursday-Sunday from 11am to 4ishpm... But it means I'm brinigng more money into the house.

The manager was in complete and absolute support of my Convention work, and even asked if I could help her get in on staffing. Which made me feel absolutely wonderful, because I have a job that understands. It won't be paid time off, and I don't mind that. I also don't get medical benefits since their part-time employees do not have access to such things. But it's a job, and with it me and my husband together will be making roughly a little over 40 hours of work a week.

My pay will be lower than his, and my hours less... but it'll help this family out significantly. Which is exactly what we needed. In about a month or so I'll have to take the two paystubs of mine - and his two recent updated pay stubs - to DHS so we can make the income reported change... But together we will probably be making less than three fourths of the maximum allowed income. Our bills are all still the same, and we are a bit behind on rent because his job was jerking him around so bad - but we live with understanding people.

My job even told me they didn't mind the fact that I may not have the required clothes in time for training. Apparently all the training is on computers, and I would be required to have the uniform items after I am actually scheduled for real work.

Other good news is the manager really liked my resume, and said "You have a lot of potential, we will review things in a few months... and you may be happier than you thought. I've been waiting for someone like you to come in here." - So that makes me rather happy.

I'll post again tomorrow night, giving a sort of daily update.

[SweetSerenade]

May 1st, 2015

Music fills my mind, it's the FIrst of May.. First of May... all you perverts know what starts today.

Honestly, today wasn't a terrible day... but I wish it had not been as annoying as it had been. Woken up from strange dream (I'll detail it at the end of this post) - by my daughter biting my face. Took her downstairs to feed her. Ended up going out with the parents in law, so my father in law could get the supplies he needed to fuel his obsession. He likes to make furniture, furniture and things like that - out of wood - that we don't need. He somehow demands we make a way for him to have places for all of it. It's kinda annoying at times.

I got to see a friend for a little bit, he was doing a photoshoot at a Tattoo place. Pretty cool, honestly. Apparently they have good prices, so I may end up getting a tattoo for the hubby - maybe one for me. I still have a few left that I want, and need to get. If I do, I'll let you all know, maybe even post a picture of the tattoo.

What next? Ummm well I started a few new games, that seems to have helped relieve the pressure on my muse. Oh and I did something today that needed doing for a long time. I returned to a place I had left for a long time (We are talking several years)... and finally began looking to improve my image there. WEll not really improve my image, more like... just start some games... run a journal there... Keep my mind from running to the past.

Someone I don't like very well is there, but I'm learning to let it go. Soon enough, soon enough... all will be well.

Running low on smokes, the charger for my vape pen broke (Won't work anymore, battery is fine) ... so I have to get a new Mini USB charge cord that is compatible with my vape pen...


The Dream :

Started off in a convention like setting, which is how a lot of mine start. But it was like this strange... mishmash of things. I think it was started by someone talking to me about Jason David Frank, last night, before bed. But either way... it started a strange strange dream.

It was a little blurry, until I found myself in the room from the original power rangers, Zordon and all. It was strange as hell, and ridiculous. There was Alpha laying across a dusty and broken control pannel, obviously it was Angel Grove. Suddenly both of them seemed to light up and come to life, and start talking to me. I had this strange out of body experience as I could see the things they were talkin about - the return of evil that was well above the level of Rita and Zed...

They told me that they needed to assemble a team, and I told them "You're nuts... teens these days? They can't manage what your old team did." they asked me what they should do and I told them to recall the old rangers... and have them train the new ones. They would need to forge new coins, for the new rangers... but it would work out.

Then they turned to me and said I would become one of the rangers... "I'm not a teenager" was my answer and Alpha said "But you have more than enough Attitude to make up for it!" - So five random strangers got zapped into the Command Center, who had no relationship to each othe rin any way. Half of them hated each others guts... and I had a moment of "Sweet Dannu, mother goddess give me strength... please" and apparently that offended one of the kids... becuase he was a conservative religious type.

A bunch of this day and age 17 year olds, from mixed backgrounds. I wanted to strangle the replacement for the pink ranger. They were talking about their 'uniforms' and how it should have hoodies... and that was when the old team showed up and I hear Tommy going "That's ridiculous... " as Billy gave a confirmation of his worlds. I was like... Holy sweet baby dragons... It's Tommy...

The other Old team rangers were behind him... and that's when Zordon let the team of teens know that I would be their leader  - I got called an old hag by the new Pink ranger... and Kimberly literally slapped the chick and told her that if she wanted to keep buying designer shoes she better wise up and learn how to fight... becuase SHE was the hope for that area... and she better stop being a Primadonna.

Zordon dished out the new coins... and then gave me one that was not white or -green, as I thought it would be since I was apparently the mirror for Tommy... and he gave me a power coin for the 'Purple Ranger'... and explained that Purple was the color of the chakra related to the Inner eye, the third eye. The Chakra of the mind, and the highest tier of the chakra before it spread into the heavens. The kids are throwing a fit because they are normal rangers, and I get to be special - and I tell them I don't feel special because I have to deal with an annoying pack of brats...

Apparently all of the old rangers were married except for Tommy, and even Billy was married - though he had a husband (Probably a mental relation to his actor being Gay)... Then suddenly the dream shifted a little and its a new scene.

Tommy and Billy are sighing as they are watching the new Rangers training, because not a single one of them knew how to even throw a punch. At my suggestion the new team was forced to come to the Dojo after school every day... no fucking around... no smoking pot... none of that raver time either. They were so pissed at me. I was their number one enemy. They got all butt hurt and started asking why I was exempt from the training and Billy told them "Because she is not actually meant to go on the battle field. She is a meant as a Battlefield Tactician, in that sense. She'll tell you what you should do, and you go from there. Her power coin isn't settled enough for her to take her Ranger form."

The kids are throwing a fit... saying I should fight too... and the new Red Ranger gets a wild badger up his arse and says he'll fight me. Big teen, african american... with a bone to pick and a story to prove. He goes to swing at me and I slam my palm into his sternum and slam my elbow up into his chin, then twist around rapidly and hook my foot behind his knee and send him sprawling on his ass.

Tommy whistled, and Billy started laughing... and then I woke up...




Anyways, that's all for now I'll talk to ya'll more later.

[SweetSerenade]

May 2nd, 2015

I woke up this morning with a rather large hankering to write. It was strange, how badly I wanted to write. But as soon as I wandered downstairs I was presented with something I rather did not enjoy.

My father in law decided he wanted to use today, a work night for my husband, to rearrange the living room and move heavy as all get up furniture. Me being the loving wife I am... realized that if I did not do it that my father in law would keep my husband up way longer than he should be on a work night. So I hand the baby off to grandma and help my father in law drag the lounge chair out to the back porch. He still wasn't happy after that, I asked for a smoke and he 'begrudgingly' let me have it. Right after that we had to haul a huge couch to the back porch.

I managed to convince him to let us go out for coffee and food before we continued... and as soon as I was back I was forced into cleaning the entire living room... hey not that bad I have done it before... then he decides he wants us to move the carpet to check the hardwood underneath it... still not that bad... but then he tells me he wants me to scrub his entire hardwood floor in the living room... and then expects me to set up his entire living room up again when that's done.

Entire day is spent moving and arranging furniture, trying to watch my daughter (and getting called a bad mother for her crying because she didn't want to be in her playpen) and then I took a walk to get some food... afterwards it was back to cleaning and organizing stuff... which was frustrating as all getcha... and I finally got a chance to sit and eat and relax again... and finally, so finally... I am relaxing and typing.

Overall... I freaking hated today... but I managed to write up two posts in one of my most favorite long running games...

[SweetSerenade]

May 3rd, 2015

Well, another day another... wait nevermind not another dollar. Today was another moving furniture day, and today I also discovered quite saddly... that my vape pen is dead dead. The batteries, both of them, were much older than my friend told me (They were a gift so I'm not that upset) ... and they just won't hold a charge anymore. It happens... but that means after I handle everything else... a new vape pen is on the list of things I will have to get my hands on. YAY ME!

I moved a big as butt nuts couch today, with my husband and a good friend. We got a lot of food shopping done, and I almost caugh tup completely in my games. Today was a more mellow day, but I know that is coming to an end very quickly. I'm less than a month away from my trip to Philly in June, and I am less than a handful of days from when my work training begins. I'm going to be gone Thurs-Sat from 11-2... training for my new job.

I'm gonna be a burger flipper, and I don't care if people say I'm only doing it because I'm lazy... and yes people have said that. I'm doing it because it's the only work I can get, as of the moment. I need the extra income to help my family. It's about all me and my husband can do to keep ends meeting the way they need to meet. Just plain and simple as that. He for a short time has a burst in hours... but soon enough they will likely cut them down again... just what they do to him. It happens.

Not much else to say, talking over a few new games... working on some new pieces of jewelry... looking into findings and all sorts of strange things to make more awesome stuff... just trying to survive... ya know?

[Dimir]

*hugs*

You and your partner sound like such a wonderful couple, trying to provide for you two and your little mini. <3

[SweetSerenade]

*hugs*

You and your partner sound like such a wonderful couple, trying to provide for you two and your little mini. <3

Thank you Dimir, it's much appreciated.

[SweetSerenade]

May 4th, 2015

The process of weaning has been harder, my daughter keeps trying to find ways to get it when she shouldn't have it. But we got good news today, given everything else going on. My husbands work has decided to give him more hours, because of the fact that one of the employees and four others had to leave to Guam due to the inccident there that may have killed part of their family. I'm glad that we could get more hours, but I feel bad that the cost may be someone else's family.

Today was a quieter day, but it was full of cleaning and annoyances. Not much to report for this day.

May 5th, 2015

Today was a bit rough, I was having a difficult time with some memories of the past. Unfortunately I just couldn't run from them. They threw me down a bit into a spiral, even though I put on a smile. I'm trying to push myself harder to catch up on things, I only owe a few posts. I have to write a script for a friends Newage shop - and record a Hypnosis/Meditation seminar off of that script. I also have to write a commission for a friend.

I'll do my best to stay more up to date.

[SweetSerenade]

May 6th, 2015

So today began with my parents in law dragging me off and forcing me to let them buy me work slacks. My father in law was trying to convince my mother in law to let him buy me work shoes - but I managed to talk them both out of it. 50 bucks later and I have two brand new pairs of pants. I would have been just as happy with Goodwill pants.

I take a nap with baby, after dealing with some online stuff... and wake up to a phonecall from Walgreens. Apparently they have reviewed my application and assessment tests - and really want me to come work for them. Which is all well and good. I guess what I'll do is lay out the details I did to Burgerkin, and if it works out... it wourks out. I'll pick the higher paying job, with the hours and time off requests being the best. If the pay is good but the others aren't in place... I'm going to stick with BurgerKing because I KNOW I'm getting that time off.

Other than that, I had a rather calm day. Though my back pain is flaring up, and I am dreading all of my upcoming work.

[SweetSerenade]

May 7th, 2015

Well... today started off lovely. Full on anger storm from my father in law, because I started working. Apparently he was rather pissed off that he was being forced to watch his granddaughter, when he was the one that stated he had no issues watching her because I needed to have a job.

But the Training was interesting, I managed almost two days worth in one day, so that was all good. I'll finish up as much as I can as soon as I go in tomorrow. I'm actually pretty ahead, compared to others. Which is a damn good thing, I have a lot that I want to do. But I do still have the Walgreens interview.

Turns out I have a chance at full time with Walgreens. The largest deciding factor will be who will give the most hours/money and the most flexibility with my schedule. My Non-profit work is way too damn important to me, and I will not give it up. so whichever works with it the most, that's the job I'll take!  I'm just shocked to have a job, and have a job oppourtunity...

[SweetSerenade]

May 8th, 2015

Today started of relatively good, things were a bit chaotic but getting into work was easy. I was set up with my number for clocking in and clocking out, and had a few details explained to me. Today I managed to blast through almost all of what was laid out for me, and I have a notebook full of notes for the work I'm going to do. But other than that... WOrk was ok.

Went to Fedex after work to print out resume and references, and dropped them off at Walgreens. The entire group of employees I know are super excited I had an interview. Apparently they are going to be vouching for me and putting in their input on what they think. Which could work in my favor towards getting the job. He was very impressed with what I had to say, the situations I had handled, and my resume as a whole. He was also quite interested in hearing about the conventions I work for, and how that would impact my work. He said that I was reasonable in what I was talking about, and that he could definitely see my positions are essential.

He also told me that even part timers get medical, which goddamn... that would be amazing! He ended on a positive note and said that I already had good team bases made... and that his employees were very interested in working with me. He only has two other interviews and will let me know by the end of next week! Huzzah!

Now for the bad news... I got home from my interview to find out that ... my tablet has decided to have a full on WHAT THE FRACK freak out. It is bad enough that I can't use it, so I have to borrow my husbands laptop for anything I want to do. So as a result I will be limited to his work schedule for use of the laptop. I'll try to keep people posted on how that effects things.


If I get my paycheck on mothers day, gods I really hope I get it... I will be sending my tablet in for Servicing... and will be hopefully getting it back before I leave for philly. Gods be darned if I don't... I'll be so sad.

NIght all.

[SweetSerenade]

May 9th, 2015

Twisting through my mind, like the burning end of a cherry on a cigarette, the thoughts build and slide down throughout me. No one here will really understand what I am talking about, many of you will never know the full truth of the past I experienced. None of you will know how massively the internet effected the kind of person I became. None of you could possible even wish to know the truth, the full truth, behind the woman that writes at this screen.

Dreams, Nightmares, Memories, Hopes and Dreams... All of these things were influenced by the internet, the people on the internet. Several people came into my life, destroyed my life - saved my life... it varied from soul to soul. But in the end I made the choice I did to become the woman I have become. I work hard, and I do whatever I have to do to make sure my daughter never experiences the kind of hardships I have known.

I will put my head high, and I will strive hard and fast towards the future I am looking for. I will work hard, I will move with all determination... because I am my own Serenade, and I am the Sweetest thing I will ever experience. I am my own worst enemy, and my greatest ally.

Maybe someday I will sit down and write my story, modify a few names for sanity sake... and so that the people don't realize it was me writing about them. Of course I can definitely use recognizable nicknames for people I want to know that I was writing about them... but for some... they will never know it was me writing that story.

For now, I am pleased to be me... anyone that can't handle it... you're better off just stepping off and out of my life.

[SweetSerenade]

May 10th, 2015

Mother's day, it's still very strange that I am actually a mother. A few years ago this was the month I found out several things, and had to make hard choices in the June that followed. July was a change for me as well. But this is the second year, the second year that I have had a Mother's Day... And I was so happy to see the love on the faces of the people I know. So many people messaged me, wishing me a happy mothers day. It made me so happy.

I got texts, calls and all sorts of things. Which reminds me that I have to get in touch with a few people.

Being a mother has been a wonderfully mellowing experience for me. The love I feel for my daughter has made it very hard to dwell much on darker things from my past. She is the light in the darkness, the child that I have dreamed of.

Nightmares and Dreamscapes, that's something else on my mind. Since recently I have had a few rather terrifying nightmares. For the sake of propriety I will not get into much detail on them. They involve things, people, and events from my past... but that is just that... the past. Dwelling on it will only make it worse.

I work Saturday and Sunday, as a definite. So that is good. Later this week I'll find out if I got the Walgreens job, I am honestly really hoping I get it.

Parts of my past are rearing their nasty ugly heads, despite all my efforts of trying to avoid them. I'm going to do some damage prevention and let friends and family know how to avoid the individuals causing drama. Hopefully that will absolve some situations, and keep them from getting worse. It's sad that people can't take it that I don't want anything to do with them, it's sad that they have to be deceptive little drama llamas. Oh well.

[SweetSerenade]

A full weekish of updates will be coming as soon as I have the ability to write, and think well enough to do so. I'm not going the best right now, and it's taking everything in my power to smile and push through.

[SweetSerenade]

May 11th,2015 - May 18th, 2015

Well... Things have certainly been chaotic. Tons of details to give out, but not sure exactly how to phrase all of them. Things at the house are stable, mostly. We are working hard to make up the money we have had to put out (that we didn't have) when my husband was only getting 16 hour weeks. His work has definitely increased his schedule, and his next paycheck will be quite nice. Unfortunately, my first paycheck will not be nice. I am only getting about 9 ish hours on that check. It's because the paycheck on the 25th is only from the 1st-15th of the month. I have to leave a note with my husband so he'll be able to pick up my check on the 10th of June - that check covers the 15th of May to the end of May. Lucky me, I'm feeling a little put off honestly.

But my trip in June will help change a lot, hopefully. I generally make a surprising amoutn of money while there. The friend I am visiting is taking me to Atlantic City, on his dime (because he misses how much he used to make with me as his luck charm). I am also going to a huge illusionist magic show on the saturday after I get there. Two of my long term friends want to meet up the second week I am there, and I am hopefully visiting my adopted brother.

Weaning my daughter is going alright, soon will be the hard point as we will be cutting out ALL of her nursings on wednesday. Now she is down to having sippy cups of milk, watered down juice, gatorade, and water. She really likes gatorade and milk. Sometimes she likes her watered down juice, and she LOVES smoothies when we go to Starbucks. Lucky me, I have a kid that is actually quite the health nut. She'll turn her nose up at a cookie if you offer her a cracker. Smart kid, love her for it.

Work has been signing me up for more hours, trying to negotiate my visit to my girl crush. Which is actually quite a happy thing for me. I can't wait for the future. I know this isn't much of an update considering how long it took me, but it's something.

As a note I work Friday, and Saturday. I have to figure out on Friday if I work sunday... As well as find out the rest of the schedule as well. I told them I'd work any shift, and any day other than mondays or tuesdays. Lucky me, thank the gods they listened to my plea for my family.

[SweetSerenade]

May 19th, 2015

I'm having a bit of an emotional day, losing some games because partners are unable to do so at this time (which is ok), as well as finding out some pretty heavy stuff about people I care about. Other than that... I'm mostly emotional because soon enough my child and I are going through a large step in her growth process.

Tonight marks the last night I will nurse her at all. I started weaning her two weeks ago, and tonight is the last time she gets a bedtime feeding. I'm actually crying because I'm going to miss the feeling I get when I'm holding her. The closeness I feel during the nursing act. It's not going to be the same, just cuddling her. But I just can't keep my milk supply running.

I'm sad, and I wish it could be another way, but this is the way it will be. I have to do it, for both of us. At least she has been taking to normal foods very well - and that helps. It's just a matter of her moving another step in growing up. She's my first, that has reached this step, and I'm realizing that it's almost been two years since I held that small child in my arms and sobbed because I was finally able to do something I had dreamed of.

Emotional, as I said... I'm done for the night.

[Dimir]

*Offering an extremely big squishy hug*

I am so proud of you and your partner must be as well. I will do my best to RP post and keep our game running.

[SweetSerenade]

Thank you Dimir, for your kind words.

May 20th, 2015

Today was a little more of a low key day, things were pretty mellow. I spent some time with my daughter's Godfather, and worked on some budgeting plans. I have to get a decent amount of money saved up for the convention we are going to in September, but I think we will manage it. I am also going to be working while I am in philly, so I should be able to save up some decent money on that front. Hopefully things just keep getting better, I am really hoping so.

Good news first, bad news later. My Ball jointed Doll, named Luna, will be getting a makeover when i visit my friends on monday. They are going to babysit her till I get back in June - and will be making her all happy and a new dolly. She really deserves it, and I'm glad I have such amazing friends. I'm excited for my small visit to my friends, even if it is just for one night. It's better than not seeing them at all, and I need the single day of decompression before I move on to all of the other work I have to do. I work Friday, and Saturday. I'm hoping I work on Sunday as well - I could use the boost to my paycheck on the 10th. I hope they take me up on signing me up to work whatever days I am available for, because as many hours as I can get is what I need.

My 'magical college' website is finally up and running again, and the site seems to be running more smoothly. I'm loving the Canada setting, and loving the courses. I love the staff, and I love the coursework. It's helping me regain skills I can use for college. Here is to hoping it keeps getting better!

Bad news, well it turns out that my daughter is not handling this weaning thing well. I'm trying to get a bottle going for her - and hoping the warm milk works. Otherwise, I'm not sure what we are going to do. She is not handling this 'no bedtime juice' in a good way, and her crying is making me feel like a bad mother. Back to trying to get her to get sleep properly. I hope that eventually she will sleep through the night. It is just a hope. I have an idea and I'm going to have her father help me with it as soon as he is inside. She isn't super awake, but I'm hoping she's awake enough to eat a small blend of warmed milk and baby cereal. It might sit heavy enough in her tummy to make her sleep long and deep.

[Oniya]

Bad news, well it turns out that my daughter is not handling this weaning thing well. I'm trying to get a bottle going for her - and hoping the warm milk works. Otherwise, I'm not sure what we are going to do. She is not handling this 'no bedtime juice' in a good way, and her crying is making me feel like a bad mother. Back to trying to get her to get sleep properly. I hope that eventually she will sleep through the night. It is just a hope. I have an idea and I'm going to have her father help me with it as soon as he is inside. She isn't super awake, but I'm hoping she's awake enough to eat a small blend of warmed milk and baby cereal. It might sit heavy enough in her tummy to make her sleep long and deep.

As someone who has been through the weaning thing - and I don't know what your routine is now or has been, so apologies if I'm retreading ground you've already been over.  If she's mostly transitioned to cereal/soft food during the day, the night-time nursing is mostly going to be for comfort.  The bottle is a good idea, but sometimes just a bit of cuddling in a dark room with quiet music will send them back off into dream-land.

[SweetSerenade]

As someone who has been through the weaning thing - and I don't know what your routine is now or has been, so apologies if I'm retreading ground you've already been over.  If she's mostly transitioned to cereal/soft food during the day, the night-time nursing is mostly going to be for comfort.  The bottle is a good idea, but sometimes just a bit of cuddling in a dark room with quiet music will send them back off into dream-land.

She has taken a liking to a warmed bottle (or two!) of milk before she goes to sleep. It's still a little rough, because the bulb for her nightlight went out! So we have to put her bedroom light on the lowest setting because she /hates/ the dark.

[SweetSerenade]

May 21st, 2015 and May 22nd, 2015

This is a little late, but I still plan on getting you guys updated on what is happening in my life. So on the 20th, we completely stopped giving my daughter breast milk. The last two nights, that followed, to this morning(the 23rd), have been absolute hell on my sleeping schedule. I had people offer to help with her bed time, since I had work on Friday, but it didn't work out too well. They 'conveniently' forgot their offer, and I had to get up several times in the night, to care for my daughter. In total, I think I got 4 hours on the first night and 2 hours on the second. But the 21st, was a little exhausting. It was payday for my husband (thursday), so that meant handling a lot of bills.

We went out for breakfast, got coffee, and even went to goodwill. I found a pretty stellar messenger bag, that is also a laptop bag, but Samsonite - it was only 8$! It's made of real leather. I found that pretty darn cool, in all actuality. So now I have something to haul my electronics around, as well as something to use for the back and forth to work. I also can use it when it comes time for my flight to Philly. Which will be fun in and of itself! Heck yes!

I did a lot of catch up to this day, and managed to get pretty caught up on almost all of my games. (though that's not the case on the 23rd, anymore.) - I am also a member of an online magical school, not HiH anymore - a different one, and I have been catching up on all of my lesson 2 coursework. I think the only work I have left to do - is Wizarding History and Writer's Block. Which is pretty cool. I'm all caught up except for those two courses, and the quizzes I can take once professeurs can grade papers.

Overall, a rather uneventful but exhausting couple of days.

[SweetSerenade]

This is just an announcement that this journal will continue. I will work on posting some updates for all of you, as well as get back into posting on a daily basis. Sorry for vanishing

[SweetSerenade]

Catching up to date
It's been awhile huh? Life got a little crazy there, and I just lost all the drive to continue to write. Well on a 'blog/journal' basis. It was just not something I was interested in, and I kind of lost the drive for a bit there. It was a little bumpy, given the time of year it was. This is a particularly rough time for me, because I have now passed the three... four? I can't remember... it's an anniversary of when I lost a child that I wanted rather badly. So it was a little rough. Given some of the things that happened in my life, time tends to blurr a little. But that's ok, it's just how things go.

I am working rather well, and the new job was going ok. I got a lot of good reviews from the people at work, and I was learning a lot. Then I went to Philly...

I was in Philly from June 1st to June 15th. I can say it was an absolute blast. I went to the airport pretty late at night, not many people. Was having some flying anxiety because I am not the best of people on planes. Ended up smoking several cigs before I went to enter the TSA line. I got on the plane shortly after nine at night, and then I didn't land in Philly till six in the morning. Shortly after landing my friend was there to pick me up. It was awesome to see him, since it had been almost two years since we had seen each other. He took me out to breakfast shortly after, and I scarfed down a bunch of food.

Since I wasn't feeling the jetlag, or any sort of time disphoria... we decided to hit up Redding Terminal and downtown Philly. That was after I unloaded everything and figured out what I was going to do. That was Tuesday morning (2nd) and it was a blast. We walked around Philly for a bit, and then went for lunch at Pearl's Oyster bar. We got back to the house and settled down for a bit, ate dinner which was some sandwhiches we ordered in a stand inside Redding Terminal. Have to say, some of the best damn food I have ever had.

I actually didn't crash till pretty late, but I made an effort to make sure I called my daughter to wish her goodnight. The next morning I woke up to my friend telling me we were going to Atlantic City, it was his treat and he was giving me gambling money. I wasn't allowed to spend any of the money he gave me, his sort of 'apology' for being out of touch for so long and being unable to do more for holidays. Really I think it's because he considers me the closest thing he'll ever get to a daughter, and he wanted to make sure I was cared for.

So we headed to Atlantic City, checked into our room - and then went up to the Suite that the Casino had given him. He gets a lot of comps because he goes every couple of months and spends several days in a row gambling, he's got the money for it - and nothing to use it on - so why not? So I went out with him to play black jack, and we just played until the wee hours, he went to bed before me. I went back to the room and took a nap, and then we went out for breakfast. On the 3rd, first day at the Casino, we actually went to a place inside the Casino a sushi place. It was absolutely delicious!

Thursday we had breakfast in the Casino and went out on the board walk to go do a little shopping, I got myself a new vape pen (Heck yes!) and then we went back and had a bite to eat. After that we went straight to the tables to play Black Jack some more. We played for a few hours, before going to dinner.

He headed to bed somewhere around 12am-1am... and I stayed up till 6 am. I hadn't intended to but I met a kick ass guy, in a friendly way, and we ended up playing black jack together! I finally took a nap at about 6am, got up at 9am... and we finished up everything we were doing. We headed back to Philly and just hung around the house for the rest of the day. Not much happened on Friday, but on Saturday I went to a weird magic show. The guys cellist was the cellist for Celine Dion, and it was really interesting to see magic from the side of someone that knows all the tricks... He tried to pull one over on me... and actually laughed when I told him how he did his trick.

It was pretty fun, and went out for Sushi afterwards. I spent the next couple of days not feeling too good, caught plane crud... but on tuesday(the 9th) my friend ended up getting really really sick. Since he's an older guy, and almost never gets sick, he got hit pretty hard. I was a total mother hen to him and did the best I could to take care of him. He got so frustrated at me taking care of him that he literally threw money at me on the 11th and told me to get out and go bar hopping for a little bit. He just couldn't stand me asking him if he was ok, and shoving ibu down his throat when his fever spiked.

But Friday he was feeling much better, so we went out into Philly again. Mostly because he felt bad that he hadn't been 'taking care of me' like he felt he should, he dragged me out and took me around Philly. We went to the Oyster House, and ended up stuffing our faces. Though I had intended on only one half dozen of oysters... he ordered a special platter when I wasn't looking... and even started buying drinks for me. It was kinda cool, and he even though it was hilarious that I actually randomly found someone I knew from Portland visiting at the same time. We ended up all chatting for awhile, before heading down the South Street, and I hit up a few shops there.

Saturday I went out with my adopted brother, his girlfriend, and an old Rp friend, and we all went to see Jurassic World. It was hilarious, funny, and absolutely amusing. We went back to Philly, from where my adopted brother lived, and I made dinner for them. We ended up hanging out and drinking till around midnight, and made plans to hang out again the next day. It was exactly what I needed, and it was a lot of fun.

So sunday was just hanging out, playing games, cracking jokes, and being generally moody.

Though I did have a strange situation arise, good strange. You see I have had a huge crush on a friend of mine, and admitted that crush. My husband is in full support of this, and suggested that I do more to show my interest. So I bought some lingerie and took a few pictures, and what I got in return was pictures of them in a more revealing form of their costume - mind you this was after I helped them by finding them an open chest binding technique so  they could be more comfortable with themselves and their cosplay ( not to mention how hot it was! YIKES!) - but it was a bit of a blush fest for me.

Monday... the 15th... if was finishing getting ready to go home and then heading out. I was almost killed by my friends ... partner? I guess you could call them that? Their partner drove me to the airport and was driving 100 down the highway... took an exit at 80/90 and nearly hit a semi. I was shaking when I was dropped off and smoked through four cigarettes I was so freaked out. I got on the plane, went home... crashed curled up in bed with my daughter and husband.

I haven't had work as so far yet, and I am trying to catch up on writing. It's just been a normal couple of days with very little to remark on.

So yeah... if you have any questions, I'll answer them, for anyone that is reading this.

[SweetSerenade]

July 2nd, 2015

Basic update? Things kinda exploded after my last post, A flurry of activity in my life. Also a bit of depression. Started finally working again, caught up on all my posts, and even signed up for college. I'm going for my placement tests next week, as well as orientation and then will proceed to get ready to meet with my Personnel Adviser for College. Student Aid is turned in, I'll know if I get it after August... and I can start signing up for classes after I talk to the Adviser. Going for an Associates in General Education to start. Will also be taking Japanese, Spanish, and American Sign Language... to help better my language skills (if there is enough money left for all of those) - I am also considering taking a Dance course in order to increase my activity.

Now for the bad shit. Friends dying, family moving away... a lot of weird shit. Furthermore, lucky me... I may be getting on workman's comp... no that is sarcasm. I got injured at work today, went to the Er - ER doc thinks I may have a Sciatica issue thanks to the spill I took at work. (Freaking greasy stuff on the floor, when there is enough doesn't matter how 'non-slip' your shoes are... something is bound to happen). So on monday I have another appointment to see if the weird stuff has subsided, the muscle spasms in my right leg - the twitches.. the ants crawling up and down my skin on left and right leg... cotton stuffed feeling in right foot... burning/tingling/cooling sensation in right and now left leg... HUZZAH! If they persist than on monday I get an MRI...a fter the MRI it'll take a little to figure out if I need to do any form of treatments... figure out how long things will take... and figure out how long I'm out of work for (For whatever my happen if a procedure or something is needed as well as how long 'healing time is' before I can return to 'light' or modified duties.) Which will liekly include not doing anything that will aggitate my injuries... which will basically mean me not getting scheduled till I can return to normal work duties... yes... fuck today.

[Oniya]

That sounds an awful lot like some symptoms that an acquaintance of mine had after a slip-and-fall.  Make sure that your doctor follows up on those MRIs, and if he assigns you to PT, make sure that both your ortho and your PT doctors listen to you.  And don't bull through the pain if it hurts - let them know about it!

Also, stay on Workman's Comp's butts.  Document everything so that they can't screw you over.

[SweetSerenade]

Thank you Oniya for your words. I am doing the best I can to do everything I am supposed to. On that note..

July 6th, 2015

Doctor's Apt today, follow up for ER visit. Spent the weekend in a varying level of pain and agony. Doctor's office was a bit of a hassle filling out all the new patient paperwork. Get new prescriptions, as well as a knee immobilizer. Apparently Doc is concerned about how my leg will suddenly give out, which concerned me as well. He gave me some other meds to take as well, and said he was going to forward for an MRI. Leave office to head to DHS to file change of income and the situation going on. As well as pick up info for my friend to become my daughter's child care provider.

On way to DHS I get a call that the Wokman's Comp had no record of my claim, or file. I am confused because I am looking right at the paperwork from my employer with the information filed. Call up work and ask what's going on, and get told I need to come in and we can figure it out. Go to DHS that takes like 2 hours because of slow people. Finally get to work and talk to the manager - after waiting over half an hour. She takes the note I have that puts me on another week of no work, 'yay' me... And said she got off the phone with the boss... and says that she will REFILE my claim, because apparently it never got sent out properly. Also will refile it with the proper information, because the rere had put that I hadn't gone to the ER>

Mind you the paper I had given for the filing had THE ER INFORMATION RIGHT ON IT. I was in the ER on thursday night. SO now I have to wait for a call from the upper management of my job, to give me the information I need so I can call the Doctor's office and they can resubmit the MRI scheduling. Which will hopefully happen before the end of the week. I have ANOTHER apt with the same Doctor on monday to follow up on everything again and see my progress.

Mind you all this is going on and I still have my college placement exams on Thursday. SO I'm sooooo happy, no not really... I'm actually pretty livid right now.