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Author Topic: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)  (Read 1479 times)

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Online InkiduTopic starter

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So I was browsing Cracked looking for something to make me laugh, and the internet-universe plopped this down for all to see, and other than the few funny captioned pictures it's a really well-written thought out article.

Here it is again, in un-coded form to make sure everyone who wants to discuss this topic reads it: http://www.cracked.com/article_21884_5-awful-realities-being-man-who-was-raped-by-woman.html

Now, there's a bit of a rule that you can't just post a Cracked article as a topic and let it run, and I'm curious enough to really want to do just that. However, I do want to bring up the double standard that is often brought up when discussing male-on-female rape. I have been on the unfavorable end of such discussions before and it is never fun. I think it's something that's often summarily dismissed, and the victims are often ridiculed. I'm trying not to simply parrot the content of the article because it was so succinct.

What are your knee-jerk thoughts when reading it? What are your deeper thought? Are there levels of victimhood or just victims? Ask yourself many questions. I would prefer people thing long and hard about it.

« Last Edit: January 30, 2015, 08:27:43 PM by Inkidu »

Offline Drake Valentine

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Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2015, 07:49:27 AM »
I skimmed it, but more or less it is pretty accurate in opinion(well, probably in some instances more than others.)

Not sure how 'common' of a thing it is, but it does happen. There is nothing to say a woman cannot rape a man. It is just very unlikely for guys to be upfront about it and lesser likely they would testify as such would draw attention to themselves.

Essentially with most victims, people tend to let it go despite their gender for various reasons. You are still entering that spotlight and when we look at modern 'gender' roles, how exactly is a male suppose to feel about themselves with publicizing such an event? Not to mention, could it be taken as 'believable?' I do not want to sound like I am gender-bashing in any way and do not want to turn this into such, but honestly females do get a bit more leeway. It is sad, but true, and that is how the system tends to work.

So for a guy, if they were raped by a female, it is almost a no win scenario for them. Lets say if the case did go in their favor, then what, they have to live with the world knowing that they were dominated by the opposite sex? (Again, no disrespectful for gender equality, I treat everyone equal, but you have to take that out of the box mindset that the media doesn't do similar.)

I could ramble on and on about this, but sure I will likely be touching base with points the article has made if not already hit some from my skimming. Honestly I did not bother reading it much, even if some may wish to 'take it for a joke.' There is nothing saying who a rapist may be. A rapist could be anyone, man or woman, friend or family, stranger or neighbor. There is no line in determining who may or may not be capable of rape.
« Last Edit: January 31, 2015, 07:50:33 AM by Drake Valentine »

Online Silk

Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2015, 10:27:56 AM »
I'll be interested to see how much credence the manner of rape law does in fact skew the figures of the data between rates of rape of the genders.

Offline Crimsonbella

Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2015, 11:30:15 AM »
Rape is rape no matter the gender of the aggressor. To say a man cannot be raped by a woman is ridiculous. It's a shameful reflection on humanity, as it has been for centuries, to stigmatize the victim, which would most likely happen. Given how gender roles have molded world views, often times damagingly, I feel most men would simply not be forthcoming due to many reasons stated in the article. The author was accurate on several points; in modern media we've seen situations where men are taken advantage of, and such instances are viewed in a comical light. Swap the gender and the scenario would take on a much darker tone.

Offline Pumpkin Seeds

Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #4 on: January 31, 2015, 12:05:49 PM »
 Honestly, I think the points brought up by the writer are similar problems that men and women face when reporting a crime of rape.  I don’t see much difference between the two in having problems reporting and dealing with the case.  So really, rape is rape.  Men and women can both be victims of this crime. 

Online InkiduTopic starter

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Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #5 on: January 31, 2015, 01:00:35 PM »
Honestly, I think the points brought up by the writer are similar problems that men and women face when reporting a crime of rape.  I don’t see much difference between the two in having problems reporting and dealing with the case.  So really, rape is rape.  Men and women can both be victims of this crime.
I think the problem happens after the rape is reported.

When women do come forward there are procedures and investigations, and it is often regarded as bad, and there is some sympathy from many groups.

Man comes forward admitting to being be raped by a woman and he's either faced with ridicule by nearly everyone in society or simply disbelief.

Offline Pumpkin Seeds

Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #6 on: January 31, 2015, 01:25:09 PM »
I think you have a misconception of what a woman goes through after coming forward to report a rape.  I am not sure having a pissing contest over which has it worse is really the point of this conversation.

Online InkiduTopic starter

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Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2015, 04:39:15 PM »
I think you have a misconception of what a woman goes through after coming forward to report a rape.  I am not sure having a pissing contest over which has it worse is really the point of this conversation.
No of course not, and that's not what I was trying to do in the least.

Offline Dimir

Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #8 on: January 31, 2015, 06:20:15 PM »
Just one question regarding the opening post before I mention my opinion on this. When it comes to female-male rape, are we just talking about adults-adults and not adults-children?

Anyway, the basis of rape/sex crimes is sexual conduct that is unwanted by the victim, so yes if a male is sexually assaulted or abused by a female that he did not consent to, then that would be rape or a lesser charge like sexual harassment (the difference for child victims is that all sexual conduct against an underage victim is illegal). I think what the article is trying to get it is how often does this occur in society. The problem with determining that is no one is sure approximately how many rapes occur each year, due to the many reasons why they tend to not get reported and result in criminal charges. Also in determining whether sex was consensual or not, it may become a he-said-she-said argument so it could be difficult to prove that a man in a relationship with a woman was the victim of a sexual assault.   

Quite a fascinating topic and one that should be explored, so thanks for posting this topic on E.

Online InkiduTopic starter

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Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #9 on: January 31, 2015, 07:45:21 PM »
Just one question regarding the opening post before I mention my opinion on this. When it comes to female-male rape, are we just talking about adults-adults and not adults-children?

Anyway, the basis of rape/sex crimes is sexual conduct that is unwanted by the victim, so yes if a male is sexually assaulted or abused by a female that he did not consent to, then that would be rape or a lesser charge like sexual harassment (the difference for child victims is that all sexual conduct against an underage victim is illegal). I think what the article is trying to get it is how often does this occur in society. The problem with determining that is no one is sure approximately how many rapes occur each year, due to the many reasons why they tend to not get reported and result in criminal charges. Also in determining whether sex was consensual or not, it may become a he-said-she-said argument so it could be difficult to prove that a man in a relationship with a woman was the victim of a sexual assault.   

Quite a fascinating topic and one that should be exploWered, so thanks for posting this topic on E.
Well the content of the article deals with people of the age of majority.

Offline Dimir

Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #10 on: January 31, 2015, 08:20:21 PM »
Well the content of the article deals with people of the age of majority.

Thanks for clearing that up, just wanted to make sure I knew what we were discussing/debating.

Offline Lustful Bride

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Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #11 on: January 31, 2015, 08:20:38 PM »
Rape is rape no matter the gender of the aggressor. To say a man cannot be raped by a woman is ridiculous. It's a shameful reflection on humanity, as it has been for centuries, to stigmatize the victim, which would most likely happen. Given how gender roles have molded world views, often times damagingly, I feel most men would simply not be forthcoming due to many reasons stated in the article. The author was accurate on several points; in modern media we've seen situations where men are taken advantage of, and such instances are viewed in a comical light. Swap the gender and the scenario would take on a much darker tone.

This ^^^ exactly.

Offline consortium11

Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #12 on: January 31, 2015, 11:56:23 PM »
I'll be interested to see how much credence the manner of rape law does in fact skew the figures of the data between rates of rape of the genders.

To give a simple example it's nearly impossible for a woman to rape anyone in the UK. For a rape to occur it requires a penis to be inserted into the mouth, vagina or anus of the victim. Forcing the victim's penis into a mouth, vagina or anus doesn't count as rape, nor does penetrating the mouth, vagina or anus with fingers, toys etc. While there are situations where a woman can be convicted of rape it's pretty much restricted to "group enterprise" style events where a woman has been present while a man rapes a woman and encourages/aids/abets them; I'm not aware of detailed statistics but between 1997 and 2001 there were 15 women charged with rape (and I'm only aware of one conviction but there could be more).

In practical terms it doesn't make that much of a difference; a conviction for the most serious types of sexual assault can carry the same penalties as a conviction for rape. But it makes statistic gathering difficult and in general I'd argue that "rape" is seen as more serious then "sexual assault" when discussed; rape inherently carries the idea of penetration with it, sexual assault ranges doesn't, ranging as it does from groping or rubbing someone still wearing their clothes to penetration.

Offline eternaldarkness

Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #13 on: February 01, 2015, 04:36:06 AM »
That article put me in a very bad mental place  when I read it, and I have to say it's a bad mental place I haven't been to in a very long time. My personal sexual abuse wasn't perpetrated by a woman, but man I have to say reading that, while it briefly put me in a bad place, makes me glad that someone did actually take me seriously. I can only imagine what it would be like to be raped and have people around you treat it like a joke. No human being deserves that.

Offline AndyZ

Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #14 on: February 01, 2015, 04:07:21 PM »
I'll be interested to see how much credence the manner of rape law does in fact skew the figures of the data between rates of rape of the genders.

If you look at the 1 in 5 number for women that they push, I can virtually promise you that more than 1 in 5 college men have had sex while intoxicated.

I don't think the people who do the studies actually want an apples-to-apples comparison, though, or else they'd actually do the exact same study on men.  From a more cynical perspective, they might well have done so and just not published the results when it turned out men scored so much higher.

Rape is rape no matter the gender of the aggressor. To say a man cannot be raped by a woman is ridiculous. It's a shameful reflection on humanity, as it has been for centuries, to stigmatize the victim, which would most likely happen. Given how gender roles have molded world views, often times damagingly, I feel most men would simply not be forthcoming due to many reasons stated in the article. The author was accurate on several points; in modern media we've seen situations where men are taken advantage of, and such instances are viewed in a comical light. Swap the gender and the scenario would take on a much darker tone.

This may interest you: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DoubleStandardRapeFemaleOnMale

This is hardly a problem which only goes to rape, though, but all kinds of assaults and abuse in general.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DoubleStandardAbuseFemaleOnMale?from=Main.AbuseIsOkayWhenItIsFemaleOnMale

I would imagine that the two are very sociologically linked.

How many people have even heard the story about Shia LaBeouf?

https://www.yahoo.com/style/shia-labeouf-cries-rape-and-gets-little-sympathy-104103054443.html


In my experience, we absolutely teach girls that it's abhorrent to be victims and that it's not their fault, but we teach boys that they're strong and should have been able to stop it from happening.  If we want our society to be equal, I think we should stop the different treatments, especially given what we're learning about gender.

Offline Caehlim

Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #15 on: February 02, 2015, 04:00:43 AM »
What are your knee-jerk thoughts when reading it? What are your deeper thought?

To be honest I don't have a lot of thoughts about the article. That all seems quite true and it's a horrible situation for someone to be in.

My sympathies go out to guy and I hope that he's doing well now and has the help and support that he needs.

I don't feel that the humour in the article was inappropriate, since it seemed to have been selected by the author and humour can make discussing a difficult topic more easy.

Quote
Are there levels of victimhood or just victims?

I don't think you can compare the suffering of two people or if you can that there's much point in doing so. To quote Lois McMaster Bujold, "lives don't add as integers, they multiply as infinities."

It's true that sometime's we're forced to try to objectively measure suffering, such as in compensation cases or for situations like Britain's NHS. However in these cases we're forced into crude approximations usually trying to measure suffering in some form of currency and we only do that because we have to as a practical necessity decide where money should go and how much.

I don't think such calculations will ever be accurate, some vague standard of 'close enough for us to all get on with our lives' is about the best we can hope for.

Offline Pumpkin Seeds

Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #16 on: February 03, 2015, 08:44:30 AM »
Andy, women are taught that being a victim is certainly their fault.  From the clothes they wear, to the words they say and even the actions they take or the “signals” they give that might invite violence onto them.  Women are frequently blamed for their own assaults.  So I am not sure where this idea that women are coddled when it comes to victimhood originates in your line of thinking.  Already you can see the difference here when in the other thread women were questioned on their truthfulness in crying rape, where nobody here has even broached the subject of a man lying about being raped.  So women are most certainly taught that their being a victim is their fault and even more so there are lines of thinking where women are indeed born prey and meant to be “hunted” by men for mates.  So let’s not get on a righteous horse just yet.

Online Silk

Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #17 on: February 03, 2015, 10:30:12 AM »
Simple Pumpkin, although there is a contriversy when it comes to women being told their the cause of being victims, at least they're accepted to be victims, men on the otherhand have to battle to be even seen as a victim, let alone prove that they also "didn't want it"

Offline Pumpkin Seeds

Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #18 on: February 03, 2015, 11:26:43 AM »
Not sure why the conversation seems to steer toward, “who has it worse” as if there is a competition between men and women to see who can get to the bottom first.  Women are painted as victims quite often, but also are not allowed to be innocent victims.  Typically women are painted as victims that brought something onto themselves or asked for what happened to them in some way.  Perfect example was the other conversation was so much time was devoted to women lying about being raped.  There’s also women that remain in battered relationships as being weak or stupid, of women being raped as dressing to entice or being involved in risqué behavior.  Men are not allowed to be victims because they are viewed as too strong or powerful to be overtaken by a woman.  Women are denied being victims because they are seen as slutty and teasing, secretly wanting it but then being spurned they lash out to accuse of rape. 

Offline AndyZ

Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #19 on: February 03, 2015, 12:00:57 PM »
Shia LaBoeuf was accused of making it up. 

http://jezebel.com/piers-morgan-slams-shia-labeouf-rape-claim-demeans-wom-1664568826

The reason you didn't know that was because it barely made news.

Both men and women get accused of falsifying all kinds of crimes, but only when women allege rape is it considered newsworthy.

Online InkiduTopic starter

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Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #20 on: February 03, 2015, 01:01:46 PM »
Please believe me when when I say I'm trying not to make this a competition. However, I don't think we can ignore some of the uniqueness that is present in both cases. It helps to provide frames of reference for the issue of rape as a whole. And they do share a lot of common ground, but if memory serves, the last point of the article was about how it does become a football game with people, even females defending male-on-female rape as worse. Something to just keep in mind.

Edit: I wanted to clarify something.
« Last Edit: February 03, 2015, 04:31:23 PM by Inkidu »

Online Silk

Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #21 on: February 03, 2015, 02:48:30 PM »
There is a huge difference between talking about the unique situations and the similarities, and making it into a competition, which last I checked, nobody was implying outside of your implications that it's happening Pumpkin. Everyone else so far has largely responded "I don't want to make it a competition" to you.

Online InkiduTopic starter

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Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #22 on: February 03, 2015, 04:32:24 PM »
There is a huge difference between talking about the unique situations and the similarities, and making it into a competition, which last I checked, nobody was implying outside of your implications that it's happening Pumpkin. Everyone else so far has largely responded "I don't want to make it a competition" to you.
Honestly, I just thought it stood to bearing a mention.

Offline AndyZ

Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #23 on: February 03, 2015, 10:34:50 PM »
It's part of the nature of the beast.  A number of people (not by any means all, or even most) don't actually want equality and are content to only work on one side in an expectation to somehow achieve a victory for their side.  It doesn't work because it rapidly creates double standards.

People have a natural habit of coddling the weaker.  Carlos Mencia had a bit back in the day about how a guy in a wheelchair could either accept equality (the good and the bad) or bow down and worship Carlos in the hopes that Carlos would be benevolent towards him.  It sounds idiotic, and yet look at how many people will vote for a president just because he's black?  How many will vote for Hillary if she runs just because she's a woman?

So often it's just inherently decided that one person is better, and that puts the onus and responsibility on that person, and the other person is just completely helpless and needs to be assisted as much as possible.  It's bigoted regardless, but all of it is related.

Sadly, I think most everyone here already knows this, and there's not much point in my stating it.

Offline Garuss Vakarian

Re: Female-on-Male Rape (Don't Worry... or do; it's a Cracked article)
« Reply #24 on: February 07, 2015, 05:00:22 AM »
I think you have a misconception of what a woman goes through after coming forward to report a rape.  I am not sure having a pissing contest over which has it worse is really the point of this conversation.

I find this comment extremely funny. I understand your statement, but things were never a pissing contest until you mentioned things may turn into a pissing contest. You turned it into one. (The funny part being it was a pissing contest consisting of: Don't make it a pissing contest. But we are not. Yes you are. We are not. :P Like some over blown comedy scene from the movie Clue. "Are not!" "Are to!") I don't think any one was thinking guys have it worse, just that it is a bit tougher for guys to manage in certain areas. And this is true. It's not to say girls don't have it tougher in other areas. The only person making things a competition is you, since you say "Don't make it a competition." And then procede to talk about what women have to go through in rape immediately after saying: I qoate: Don't make it a competition. On a thread mind you, talking about how this all effects men, not women.

I get girls get it bad to, but is it really so wrong to talk about the guys for a change? We get a lot of crap to you know.

Honestly, I find it funny how easy it is for people to get flustered at the very idea of talking about mens issues. Let alone acknowledging they have any at all. Is it just far easyer to believe in the narrative that all men have it 100 percent great and are oppressing women?

To be honest it just seems you were unintentionally trying to say girls have it worse, and are disguising the fact you are saying that by saying everyone else is saying guys have it worse. So now the conversation is about everyone questioning if they said guys have it worse, all a while you got to point out things girls go through while simultaneously ignoring guys do to. Every one was so caught up with trying not to be sexist, that even you failed to notice you were the one competing over whom had it worse.

Andy: I like that mencia reference. It was a good analogy. Not to say women are weak, but they are generalized as the frailer of the sexes.

Actually, I am reminded of a certain One Piece character. So I want to make a quote myself now. I forget her name but she basically said: I steal, kill, torture, humiliate and much much more. And still people persist to forgive me, look past my faults, ignore that they are even there. Why? Because I am beautiful.

Or something along those lines. Correct me if I am wrong. Any way, I only quote it because I think there may be a statement there worth noting. Not to make any kind of generalizations or accusations. Just that there may be something there worth analyzing.
« Last Edit: February 07, 2015, 05:41:15 AM by Garuss Vakarian »