So, hopefully this will help you to understand what is happening... it's a very quick and dirty explanation, so bear with me.
The internet isn't just a nebulous cloud where you get instant connectivity. Typically, you go from point A to point B by sending your packets/requests/data to a router, which tells your packet where to go next; and from there it goes to another router, which tells it where to go next, and so on from router to router, usually through different networks/ISPs. That means that from A to B, you might go through routers in Comcast space, Qwest, XO, and various other ISPs.
A traceroute shows the intermediary steps from where you are to where you are trying to get to. Any packet loss in between A and B can potentially affect your connectivity.
If step 4 is within your ISP's space, you should email them to let them know that you are not able to connect to the server via this program. Include the traceroute, and request that they look into it and fix it.
There really isn't anything you can do at this point to fix anything. Assuming your friend knows what they are talking about, your packets (your messages) are getting dropped along the way to their server, and the only way to correct this is to contact the internet service provider where your packets are getting lost.
