So some sailors are sitting in a pub circa the 18th Century. They look across the room and see this salty old sea dog. He's got an eye patch, a peg leg, and a hook for a hand. One looks at the other, "I bet that chap has some stories." He says.
The other agrees and they go over to his table in the corner. "Hey, old ram, I bet you got some stories." One says, "How'd ye get your peg leg?"
"Buy me a rum, laddie." He says, and the do.
"Well yeah see I was sailon' off the coast of Madagascar and we got hit by some rogue squall and I was pitched overboard, and before I could make it back up the line a bull shark came and snapped me leg clean off."
The sailors are impressed, "How 'bout the hook?"
"How 'bout another round?"
So the sailors buy him another rum.
"Me hook I got off the Barbary Coast. I was fighin' some corsairs who boarded us and before I could blink the corsair took me hand clean off with one swipe of his scimitar, so I grabbed me hand and continued fightin' until we beat 'em back."
This time the sailors are really impressed. "Yeah, how 'bout your eye?"
"Where's me rum?"
So they buy him another rum, "Now what about your eye?"
"Seagull poop," he says.
"Seagull poop?" They say.
"Well it was me first day with me hook."