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The Elliquian Herald & Post
October & November 2016

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Author Topic: The Sex Therapist  (Read 525 times)

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Offline MathimTopic starter

The Sex Therapist
« on: September 16, 2008, 11:28:07 AM »
A man visits a sex therapist, complaining that his wife is no longer excited during their lovemaking. The Sex Therapist listens and decides to recommend a new experimental trick that he believes will spice things up for the man and his wife. "When you're in the midst of lovemaking, shoot off a small starter pistol." he recommends, giving the man a piece of paper with information how he can obtain such a thing, for novelty purposes. "The surprise and the noise will get both your hearts racing, and you'll be so lost in the moment, your passion will be rekindled."

One week later, the man returns to the Sex Therapist with a subpoena in his hand, and an angry look on his face. He gives the court summons to the Sex Therapist and shouts, "I'm going to sue your ass, you fucking quack!"
The Sex Therapist is confused. "What are you talking about? Didn't my recommendation work?" he asked, alarmed.
"Like hell it did! I got the damn starter pistol, and that night my wife suggested we try a sixty-nine!" the man growls.
"Oh..." the Sex Therapist gulps.
"So I shot it off right in the middle of it, and she bit off my cock, shit in my mouth, and a naked guy ran out of our bedroom closet and jumped out the window, screaming, 'I'm sorry, she said she wasn't married!' "

Offline Trieste

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Re: The Sex Therapist
« Reply #1 on: September 16, 2008, 07:16:39 PM »
*opens mouth and raises finger*


*closes mouth, lowers finger, walks away* Never mind...

Offline Inkidu

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Re: The Sex Therapist
« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2008, 08:12:11 AM »
... *Runs away*

Offline MagicalPen

Re: The Sex Therapist
« Reply #3 on: September 17, 2008, 08:18:33 AM »
*drops an anvil on Mathims head*

Offline MathimTopic starter

Re: The Sex Therapist
« Reply #4 on: September 17, 2008, 11:33:40 AM »
Hey, I didn't make this one up, I heard it somewhere and I thought you guys might like it. You don't have to cause me virtual pain.