Topic: The Rest Of My Life - A Healthy Life Challenge

[Izu]

Up and Down, Up and Down

Monday was great. And I truly thought I'd move onto Tuesday with the same greatness. However, during the night I got a really bad... hm... attack of some sorts. You see on Monday I overdid it with coffee. Overdid it badly. And after working out I guess my blood pressure just went higher than normal (and my normal is suuuuuper low), so Monday night was horrible. I couldn't sleep, I was having trouble breathing, heart was beating heavily, didn't sleep at all. Just a bad, bad night. On Tuesday I was still awake when my alarm went off at 6.30am and I just hit it off. I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't even think about working out. I wanted to. Badly. But I just couldn't.

I went to see the new Hunger Games movie so I had to skip my evening workout as well. So, yesterday there was no workout at all. I'll admit that even though it turned out to be a really long day and normally I would have justified missing a workout, this time around I felt guilty. The kind of guilt that only you can call on yourself. I spent the entire night on the MFP forums, reading around how some people would workout sick and injured, but they would workout even if it's the middle of the night, and my guilt got even stronger.

Until I found a blog post from a coach who stated something obvious. We shouldn't keep on saying how sorry we are for missing out a workout, or for giving in to some food temptation. But we should remember that it is actually okay. It is okay to miss a workout every now and then, it is okay to eat something "bad" every now and then, it is simply okay, because in the end we are just humans. And that thought kind of made think that it is indeed okay. Or at least as long as after a down, you get yourself back up and move on.

And this is what I did. I cut my coffee intake almost completely - I would rather not get myself into that situation again. It was horrible. And this morning I woke up early, got out of bed despite how warm and cozy it was, and worked out. As soon as I got home from work, despite being tired and generally feeling like 'bleh' I worked out. I need to build the mentality that after one fail I should not give up. No success is perfect. Life will keep on serving me with ups and downs, but I should just keep on pushing through with every next day.

[Izu]

It's time to get back up

It's been nearly two months since my last post in here. And I guess it's needless to say that I completely fell off the wagon. Things at work got rather stressful around the end of the year, so did some aspects of my personal life. And to be honest it was just easier to forget about everything, enjoy a chocolate or two or three and just be a couch potato on my hours and days off. But I finally got a two week vacation around the holidays and I got myself reading about weight loss, about healthy eating, and just about motivation and stress relief. And I got to laze around enough to get some rest and finally tell myself - this is enough.

It's time to get back up and move on. It's going to be hard, especially considering that things at work are still stressful. However, we've started the change in the organization that will finally bring me some peace of mind, and instead of having me responsible for technical part, overlooking 10+ guys, making specs for our modules, and just multitask, I will no be only business  side orientated manager and I'll be working only on specs. A huge load off my shoulders. It will take a month or two until we transition because there are 6 other people involved in the process who need to learn their new positions, but in the meanwhile I think my stress levels will get better. Or at least I'll have something to look forward to.

So, right now is the perfect time to get back into working out, eating well and so on. I'll be doing some grocery shopping today with the intention to start bringing lunches at work so that I can count calories properly (there is no way to know how much I eat at work because listing calories is not something restaurants and diners around here do). And starting today I'll be working out. It's going to be the harder part. Restricting my diet has been part of my life since my early teens, so I have no problems with that, but getting over my own laziness is a struggle. Last year I did it and I was going strong for 3-4 months until I got my promotion and the stress fest started. I hope that I'll make it again.

My starting stats are bad. I'm back on the kgs that I was back when I graduated high school, 10kgs away from the heaviest I've been, and 20kgs from my dream goal. I've gained 10kgs the past 6 months. So not happy. But I'll make it back. And this time I hope I'll make it all the way.

I'll try to post here more regularly to keep myself accountable.

[Dez]

Izu,

I've been reading and following this blog of yours since you began it back in July, 2014. I've had my own ups and downs... however, reading and watching your progress-set back-progress, has motivated me to the point that I've become more diligent than before in exercising and watching what I eat.

I've lost but five pounds thus far, and wanted to take the time to thank you for inspiring me to take my own "Healthy Life Challenge".

I can't thank you enough, for truly, you are an inspiration.

Whimsical

[Izu]

*blushes incredibly deeply*

Thank you <3 Knowing that my ramblings are helping people really means a lot! ^^ <3

Shopping for my healthy life

I just got back from the store actually. I did grocery for the whole week with the intention of carrying lunches at work. I'll be cooking tomorrow for the entire week - chicken breast and lentils soup. I'll also carry cherry tomatoes for lunch, oat flakes and plane natural yogurt for breakfast and raw almonds for snacking. My dinners at home will vary, though as I'm incredibly picky person when it comes to food I'll most probably opt for foods I enjoy - Greek yogurt with frozen berries or bananas, my style scrambled eggs (I don't use oil and I add a bit of cheese to the eggs while scrambling them), or simple sandwiches - wholewheat bread, smoked turkey undercut and some veggies.

I spent a lot of money actually, mostly because I had to buy all the plastic stuff to carry the food into 5 for the lentils, 5 for the meat, so that I can just freeze them tomorrow and don't worry about them until I have to warm them up. But considering that I've covered my entire food for the entire week I'm quite happy. I'll take a note whether I'll be saving money in this way or I'll be spending more on a weekly basis. Curious about it. We'll see.

I'm actually a bit anxious about people asking me why I'm suddenly carrying food instead of going to lunch with them. I'm actually sure that my colleagues will support me, because they are just awesome, but I'm still anxious. I guess I never really got over all the mocking I took back at high school whenever I tried to lose some weight - my classmates always threw at me those comments like 'Oh, a whale is going for grass' and other bs like this. *sighs*

Anyways! I'm super hyped right now. I've spoken with my mother and told her to not dare comment on me weighing everything I eat, or preparing food in advance or anything. She's been doing a lot of nagging to me to lose weight ever since I could remember myself, so if she wants me to finally succeed she should keep her mouth shut. And she agreed. She actually gave the idea for lentils - I love it, it's healthy, it's easy, and it freezes and unfreezes deliciously. So... yeah... we'll see how far I'll go this time!

[Oniya]

Also, considering the fact that the plastic stuff is reusable as long as you don't overheat it, that cost will spread out over several weeks at least.

[Izu]

Oh, they are actually long lasting plastic containers that can be frozen and microwaved multiple times. So the cost will spread out for a while :)

Like this:

[Dez]

A suggestion when microwaving the plastic --- remove the lid and wrap or place paper towels over the soup/meat or something to ensure the lids don't warp.

Also, when reheating meats at home, if you have a vegetable steamer, try using that for the meats. This will ensure that they remain moist and tender!

I'm not a fan of lentils, but I do consume quite a bit of fresh fruits more than I do vegetables. Broccoli and cauliflower are favorites as are fresh green beans. Those are good cooked until tender and adding a splash of milk (I use 2%) with a little bit of pepper and that Mrs. Dash seasoning.

I support you, Izu!

[Izu]

*grins and blushes* Thank you!

I'm really big on fruits. I can live only on fruits actually. But I'll be trying to put them under control as well because I'm taking in too many sugars and carbohydrates through them as well.

[Izu]

What a week!

Of course work has been crazy, and it has kept me in a state of constant anxiety, but on the side I did accomplish some amazing stuff regarding my new attempt of a healthy life. So, I'm here to share them with you. :)

First let me tell you that I'm a very insecure person, even if irl I often seem like the most confident person ever in reality it's all an act. My body issues have always been a huge factor in how I perceive myself and how I believe that other people perceive me - the answer is very negatively. So whenever I do something, really anything, I always fear of what others will think and say, absolutely sure that they would mock me. And the thought of people laughing at me is quite easily bringing me to anxiety attacks.

So, when I decided to start counting calories seriously, I also decided to start bringing my own home made lunches to work. Let me tell you just the thought of this was getting me cold sweat and anxiety. On Monday when I went to our office's kitchen/dining/common room my heart was ready to explode in my chest. I could hardly breathe, completely incapable of speaking, and I just felt like a trapped animal as I warmed up my lunch and started eating. And guess what - no one said anything. Well, some of the guys that I go to lunch with asked/said 'Oooh, you're not coming with us?' when they saw me and then I did one more thing that normally terrifies me. I told the truth - that no, I won't go with them, because I'm watching what I'm eating as I'm on a diet. And they didn't laugh like my overly anxious brain kept screaming at me that they would do. They all said 'Oh, cool' and just went on with their business.

So I survived Monday and I survived the entire week. I've even started hanging out at lunch with people from our data team who also bring their own food. So, a third big step - socializing with people outside of my comfort zone.

Seriously, I'm super proud of myself for ignoring my fears and getting over them. And for a super anxious person like me it's really huge huge. Just writing about it is making my heart beat faster xD

So, I've had success on the food front - calories were counted correctly, stayed under my allowed for the day number the entire week. And... it's paying off! I've lost a total of 2kgs so far or 4.4lbs for the past 10 days. Extremely happy with it as my weight is normally so slow to start moving.

Of course I've also been working out - I made  a total of 4 workouts the past week as I had to go out twice - brother's birthday and then went to the cinema with friends. But those workouts were enough to show me just how horribly out of shape I am. I've been doing modifications of the modifications in order to keep up. But I'm still getting my burn. And what I'm happiest about is that I worked out on two days that I really didn't want to. The entire drive from work to home was spent with me thinking 'Oh, I'm so tired, I just wanna crawl in bed' - you know the usual that's more than enough to have me skip a workout. But instead I continued thinking all of this and finally got home, changed and worked out. :)

Really, this journey is not only about me losing weight, learning how to eat properly, but so far it has been mostly about how to get over myself and over the walls that I'm constantly building around myself.

I think I'm learning how to fly.

[jouzinka]

You are so amazing, Izu. *pats your back*