I tend not to do any poking after the first post. When the first post is up, I will either poke my partner with the link, or they will shove the link to me. That's perfectly fine. I had 2 partners who required pokes, and one did it through PMs, the other would often SB me saying they replied. I personally tried to avoid doing any poking in the SB because if someone is on without any really active games, or partners, and me and a partner are shoving 'Posted!" back and fourth, I do feel a little bad- regardless of if it is actually upsetting the other SBers.
I will give a poke if I have been on vacation, or a muse death, just to let my partner know that I'm back into play mode and they can expect more solid replies from me. I have
only played with one person two people who pestered me about posts, and it really just turned me off on the games. I'm spiteful by nature when agitated, so those who poke me constantly are unlikely to ever get a response.