You are either not logged in or not registered with our community. Click here to register.
February 23, 2019, 01:35:29 PM

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length

Click here if you are having problems.
Default Wide Screen Beige Lilac Rainbow Black & Blue October Send us your theme!

Wiki Blogs Dicebot

Author Topic: Stalking and Threats  (Read 2050 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Thesunmaid

Re: Stalking and Threats
« Reply #25 on: June 28, 2014, 10:30:52 PM »
I have been stalked a bit by a person online. I was playing spike from Buffy in an HTML RP room. And some people despite me posting in the forum apparently assumed I was male. This person included in that. She was hell bent on me playing her boyfriend. Even though I nicely told her I was not really interested in having him dating anyone. This was an alternate universe sort of room where pretty much anyone could join in the fun..It was amusing when we had spike and Edward from twilight meet...(Mostly spike laughed at him and asked him if he jizzed rainbows..and the player and I were friends and real life cracking up as he asked me if I was trying to be Billy Idol.) I thought her knowing I was a female player might throw her did not.

This girl who was playing Fred from the show angel apparently started to PM people I played with and told them to back off even going so far as to threaten them and I did not know for a while why people did not seem to want to play with me. Finally someone told me and I admit I was pisssssed. I confronted her about it and finally had my RP partners start to log the conversations. We did and she was banned from the room and then after repeated nasty posts and PM's to me and a few others who were still trying to play with me in the forum they banned her from the site. She followed me to face book as well as tried to add me with several names on Skype and yahoo. Between her and my ex turning out to be a pedophile I have some trust issues with online people now since my ex tried to add me on face book a few times with a different last name. Luckily with him "I hope you are devoured slowly by fire ants." seemed to get through to him. With her apparently my repeated ignoring her she eventually got bored and left me alone.But it is stupid and with the internet its even easier to stalk someone...but its also easier to log thank fully..I learned how to find peoples IP addresses in the forums and rooms as well as I simply did not accept Yahoo and Skype requests that I was not told were coming. But guy even if its sort of making fun of it sums it up.

Offline Viper

  • AKA Karia Shinzou
  • Dame
  • Enchanter
  • *
  • Join Date: Oct 2011
  • Location: in Bumfuck, Somewhere at fuck-o'clock am
  • Gender: Female
  • "Viper. No. Dont eat the idiot." - Ojima Usagi
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 1
Re: Stalking and Threats
« Reply #26 on: June 29, 2014, 09:38:31 AM »
So, I learned along time ago (not that it is their fault at all) that the police are never there when you need them. They are too busy (especially in my old town) dealing with murders, burglaries, and other such bigger crimes that most stations case loads are OVER full. Through all of middle school and high school...I pretty much got my ass kicked (being that was the little goth girl and all). So I learned that the best protection you can have is yourself. In my high school we have no metal detectors or anything of the sort. I began bringing a switch knife to school.

I had a stalker in high school, no matter where I went or what I did, he followed me. He would stand outside my window at night and I remember staying awake all night, seeing his shadow against my window blinds, and being terrified. There was nothing I could do about this. After all the years of fighting to protect myself, I finally proved what that had born..and it scared me.

I had morning PE that day, I left my house to walk to school, and he followed me. He finally acted, he grabbed me, we fought, and I stabbed him. Ive never been more terrified. The police were there in minutes as I sat over him and held pressure down on his stomach. He lay there, so happy that I was willingly touched him, and when the ambulance arrived, they took him away. They had one for me as well, I had a concussion, my hands scraped up from the concrete, my cheek bruised. And as I sat the in the hospital, I realized I had the potential to kill.

Im not saying that everyone should have to go through such lengths, and that the police force should take more action in such stalking cases. But I realize that even now, with my kids, I am glad I had that day, to realize that I don't have to rely on someone else to save me or protect me. I am not proud of what I did...but I am glad to know that when it counts...and my life is in danger, I will choose my life over their own. And when it comes to my kids, I have no hesitation.

Especially for men and women who are not 'strong' or have an attacker/ stalker bigger then them. Please, take action, find a way that you can protect yourself. Don't wait for the prince in navy blue to save you because 99.9999999999999999 percent of the are dead before they arrive. And I have to say...I don't want to meet my prince looking like that! Find what works best for you, because when it comes down to it, your attacker doesn't want to go to jail, so they will weigh your life against their own and be sure that they come out on top.

Offline BlueMaiden88

Re: Stalking and Threats
« Reply #27 on: June 29, 2014, 11:11:19 PM »
I have the same sort of reflexes when it comes to assault and sexual assault.  I can't say I've ever been stalked for months, but I have been cornered more than is fair and it's become alarmingly natural for me to sit and plan at least 3 possible escape routes, plans of attack, and means of incapacitating the most likely to attack or accost me. 
I often worry that I'll become some sort of paranoid monster if I don't let up, but it seems that every time I do allow or force myself to relax and behave as if nothing will bother me, something always, always does.  It doesn't matter the weather or time of day.  Everything from muggers, attempts to snatch my purse, street harassment it always happens right when I'm beginning to let go of my misgivings.

Offline Marchoisas

Re: Stalking and Threats
« Reply #28 on: August 02, 2014, 02:47:53 PM »
Not sure how this topic fits into "Politics, Religion and Controversies", its more like "Facts of Everyday Life" thing... aniway, here's my take.

First-off, I have been stalked/threatened in the past, during childhood, which was nothing more than that typical insecure bully bluster, and it stopped vhen I confronted the person (one of my school classmates). And vhen I was a teenager I got cornered and raped once, and almost-raped a second time, both times vhen I was 14 yrs old. Add to that the fact I had a rather dysfunctional family (not going into details), and the overly lax laws here in Croatia regarding stalking/harassment. The bastard vho raped me was never realy punished, he got out after a month with a moderate monetary fine... wel, at least he wasnt until I myself punished him for vhat he did to me, couple years later when I had some fighting experience. One good thing about lax laws - it goes both ways; you can prety much beat the shit out of someone here, and get away vith a police report plus maybe a week or 2 in the pen, less if you'r underage, as long as you dont cause permanent damage or kill them. Here in Croatia, it pays to be the "take care of yoursef" type.

I learned to rely on myself to protect myself, and be ruthless in fighting back vhen necessary. It motivated me (understatement) to take up martial arts, and not just part-time, I used to practice the forms daily, regulary, few hours each day, for the first couple years, it even interfered with my school on many ocassions, I was that determined to learn properly, and learn how to apply them in a real fight situation, visiting the local fight-clubs and gyms regularly to find good sparring partners and learn to deal with the fear accompanying the fight. Its not just knowing how to fight, its having the right mindset for it, controlling your fear, and developing a measure of resilience against pain thru real sparring. I had more than a couple visits to the ambulance as a result, belive me, for varius cuts and bruises. But it was worth it. 

Now to digress a litle, and adress the comment about how "self-defence shuld not be relied upon, and that most martial arts are a scam". I categoricaly disagree. What most ppl dont realize, is that learning a martial art isnt something that can be done part-time, as a "sideline" or from a sub-standard teacher (I was lucky to enroll in a school vhich was led by a real-deal MA expert with over 20 years experience). Or worse, vithout ever actually learning how to use it (thru sparring). It is a lifelong, involved process, which also necessitates fitness, workout regimens, muscle/core development (and not so much because of attack power, because of staying power, to make you resist body-blows better), and psychologicaly defeating your innate fear of injury. I practice a mix of Wing Chun and Wushu (2 forms in Kung Fu) for over a dozen years by now, I have my own part-time MA school for the last 3 years (nice suplemental income) and a small class of more or less regular students. But I know I myself still have a lot to learn to really master the art. I am skilled enogh to teach others, and to be able to protect myself effectively, against most people, including many "hardened" beefy bruiser types. But even so, every day I learn something new, or reaffirm something I already knov to a deeper level. It is said that a person learns as long as they'r alive. And its true. Mastering martial arts is no diferent. So yes, for someone who is just in that part-time, for a few months, I definitly would agree, that it is not a reliable method of protection, and that they should get some kind of weapon (assuming your country's laws alow you to actualy carry a concealed weapon in public - Croatia does not). Takes at least a couple years of regular, dedicated training, and conditioning to be able to efectively aply it in a real-life situation with a reasonable degree of sucess, and be sure enough of yourself and your abilitys to do so. And that is a bare minimum.  And even then, knowing the technique is just half of it. Willingnes to aply it to "not pull any punches" in a fight is the other half. And that is vhere many people falter, either because of hesitation or fear of legal consequences. When you'r seriusly attacked, and you decide to fight instead of run - then fight to the limit, the best of your ability, and dont hesitate to hurt your attacker(s) as badly as necesary to get them to stop. Half-measures wil get you nowhere. And if you'r not 100% sure of your abilities - run, if you have the option.