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Author Topic: Last Poster Wins  (Read 93170 times)

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Offline syk

Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4100 on: October 30, 2014, 12:40:44 PM »
I had the strangest dream...

Sees Boat leaving with the Win.
Takes a short cut and cuts him off.


Whoa there cowboy, where do you think you're going?
Do you have a permit for that Win?
I'm afraid I am going to have to confiscate it.
You can have it back when you get proper authorization, probably in about 3-6 months provided your background check clears.




Offline Boatman

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Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4101 on: October 30, 2014, 12:56:32 PM »
The tranquilliser dart says otherwise.

Unpicks Syk's fingers from win.
Hmm.. about half an hour to get away.
Rides off (recently learned) on Syk's horse.

Offline syk

Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4102 on: October 30, 2014, 01:04:58 PM »
Wakes up sometime later

You stole my horse...

YOU STOLE MY HORSE!!!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

Rounds up a posse and goes after the horse rustling thief

Offline wander

Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4103 on: October 30, 2014, 03:15:18 PM »
Wander-Prime literally punches his way into this dimension and in the surprise of a reboot of the entire franchise, he somehow has the Win because it's a reboot, so there... Don't question it, we're not worrying about what happened before, it's a new universe with new takes on the characters, see?

And Wander has the Win :)

Offline syk

Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4104 on: October 30, 2014, 03:24:55 PM »
And Wander loses the Win in the vacuum caused by the hole he punched in the dimension. It clatters back to the other side and falls ever so conveniently into Syk's pocket.

Offline Boatman

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Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4105 on: October 30, 2014, 03:34:15 PM »
Except, when the time lords adjust for random error, they award the Win to Boat, yehhh.

Offline syk

Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4106 on: October 30, 2014, 03:37:36 PM »
What on earth (and elsewhere) are the time lords doing taking the Win out of my pocket? I call shenanigans.

Looks at the Ref, who calls DQ, thus the Win is awarded to Syk by default.

Offline wander

Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4107 on: October 30, 2014, 03:51:18 PM »
Its mine now though.

Because.

;)

Offline syk

Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4108 on: October 30, 2014, 03:56:05 PM »
I'm afraid  ;) is not a valid reason...

So not only do you not get the Win, but you must now also listen to Vogon poetry.
May whatever gods you keep have mercy on your soul...

 
Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
    Thy micturitions are to me,
    As plurdled gabbleblotchits,
    On a lurgid bee,
    That mordiously hath blurted out,
    Its earted jurtles,
    Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer.
    Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,
    Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,
    And living glupules frart and slipulate,
    Like jowling meated liverslime,
    Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turling dromes,
    And hooptiously drangle me,
    With crinkly bindlewurdles,
    Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
    See if I don't.

Offline Boatman

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Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4109 on: October 30, 2014, 04:31:14 PM »
Boat spaketh thus:

With weapons and armour. I shall lead you in person;
To my war-trusty vassals command I shall issue
To keep from all injury your excellent vessel,
Your boat shall be well cared for during your stay here.
Your fresh-tarred craft, ’gainst every opposer
Close by the sea-shore, till the curved-necked bark shall
Waft back again the well-beloved hero
O’er the way of the water to Weder dominions.
He again compliments Beowulf.
To warrior so great ’twill be granted sure
In the storm of strife to stand secure.
Onward they fared then,
The broad-bosomed bark was bound by its cable;
the boar-signs glistened
Bright on the visors vivid with gilding...

Until Syk fell sleepeth und Boat haveth t'Win.

Offline syk

Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4110 on: October 30, 2014, 04:40:15 PM »
Syk found that terribly amusing so she can't even be bothered to pretend to be livid about it, simply swipes the Win back with her lacrosse stick.




Offline Boatman

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Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4111 on: October 30, 2014, 04:51:11 PM »
Except it is life or death in the gladiator ring.
Boat with his net and trident and Syk with her lacrosse stick.
He casts the net and, following a struggle, the Win is reeled in.

Offline syk

Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4112 on: October 30, 2014, 05:06:51 PM »
( Blood soaking filthy sand... Does it always end this way?

Does for every gladiator I've ever written.)

Snaps out of the weird place her brain has wandered.

Rolls to her feet and dusts herself off, ducks in close and thumps Boat across the back of the knees, knocking him down.

Swipes the Win and quickly ducks out of a side door because she's seen this movie and the gladiatrix never gets a good ending.




Offline Boatman

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Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4113 on: October 30, 2014, 05:41:15 PM »
The Emperor hires Syk as his new personal guard.
This position comes with good pay and perks.
Boat takes the Win when Syk has to discard the old drab uniform and put on the new sparkly one.

Offline syk

Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4114 on: October 30, 2014, 05:47:55 PM »
Hey, body guard, well at least I ended up having one of the occupations I wanted as a child...

Uses her additional money to hire a particularly sultry maiden to seduce Boat and steal the Win back

 ;D

Creative problem solving for the Win, literally.

Offline Boatman

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Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4115 on: October 30, 2014, 06:08:17 PM »
And everyone lived happily after.

Except.

One day Boat was walking out with his worn out wife and ten children when he spotted the Win, there atop the Temple of Wins and he had to have it.
So he kissed his wife farewell, left her all his money and took the Win on a galley ride to the furthest ends of the known world seeking adventure
(he was so shallow, wasn't he boys and girls?).

Offline syk

Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4116 on: October 30, 2014, 06:18:38 PM »
Boat sailed to the ends of the known world, and further (against all reasoning and advisements) tipping over the edge and into the great Void beyond.

Curiously he did not perish, which is lucky indeed as this story would be quite short.

After sailing through that great Beyond which is mostly Void and partially stars Boat found he could remember less and less why he had wanted the Win in the first place.

Time passed, but in the Void, what is time? Days, years, it did not matter. Time was passing, and sooner (or possibly later) he looked upon the Win and felt nothing. It's sparkle no longer dazzled, its triumph no longer fulfilled.

So he cast it over the side, into the starry abyss, where it glimmered for the fleeting moment like a star itself and then disappeared.

It reappeared in the most unlikely of places, on earth, in a tea cup that just happened to be unfortunately full of tea at the time, making quite a mess.

So you will have to excuse me from my story telling a moment while I get a towel to clean up the mess and put the Win up someplace safe.

Offline wander

Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4117 on: October 30, 2014, 08:05:38 PM »
Wander just scrolled to the bottom of the page without reading the posts and claims the Win.

Valid reason: Because he can and as such he did ;)

Offline Boatman

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Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4118 on: October 31, 2014, 02:42:19 AM »
Turning the tea stained page in the popup book, Boat finds the Win behind a cupboard door.
His love for the Win returns and they are reunited.

The end.

Offline River

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Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4119 on: October 31, 2014, 03:22:10 AM »
Great book! I'm glad it's over!

Offline Boatman

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Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4120 on: October 31, 2014, 03:37:54 AM »
And Boat is glad he still has the Win.

Offline River

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Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4121 on: October 31, 2014, 03:42:24 AM »
About that...

Offline Boatman

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Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4122 on: October 31, 2014, 04:15:14 AM »
Still.

Offline River

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Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4123 on: October 31, 2014, 04:31:48 AM »
Nah, not really.

Offline wander

Re: Last Poster Wins
« Reply #4124 on: October 31, 2014, 10:27:52 AM »
Because it is I who has the Win now!

Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!

*runs away*