My inquiries, necessarily hasty and perfunctory as I write this letter to meet a deadline, have elicited a wealth of information about Acme Inc.. In the text that follows, I don't intend to recount all of the damage caused by Acme Inc.'s mad policies but I do want to point out that the acid test for Acme Inc.'s “kinder, gentler” new tractates should be, “Do they still desecrate religious objects?” If the answer is yes then we can conclude that Acme Inc. says that the world's salvation comes from whims, irrationality, and delusions. Whenever I hear such statements from Acme Inc. I reel in disbelief. Does it really believe such scornful things? Well, while you're deliberating over that, let me ask you another question: Why do Acme Inc.'s helpers want to ingratiate themselves with Acme Inc.? Now, not to bombard you with too many questions, but Acme Inc.'s forces tend to fall into the mistaken belief that some people deserve to feel safe while others do not, mainly because they live inside an Acme Inc.-generated illusion world and talk only with each other.
I receive a great deal of correspondence from people all over the world. One of the things that impresses me about all of it is the massive number of people who realize that we must give to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance. The television-addicted, drone inhabitants of Acme Inc.'s rotting empire of Fabianism uniformly believe that Acme Inc. is morally obligated to reduce social and cultural awareness to a dictated set of guidelines to follow. Well, I have news for such acrasial clinchpoops: Acme Inc. claims that our only chance of saving the planet is to accept unending regulations and straightjacket “reforms” from its votaries. I allege that the absurdities within that claim speak for themselves although I should add that Acme Inc. should stop telling everyone that its inveracities are innovative. More apt words for them might be “static” or “stale” or perhaps even the phrase, “been done” with the possible addition, “too often.” What I'm getting at is that Acme Inc. uses the word “pharmacodynamic” without ever having taken the time to look it up in the dictionary. Organizations that are too lazy to get their basic terms right should be ignored, not debated.
There isn't so much as a molecule of evidence that diseases can be defeated not through standard medical research but through the creation of a new language, one that does not stigmatize certain groups and behaviors. The only reason that Acme Inc. claims otherwise is that it and its secret agents are on a recruiting campaign, trying to convince everyone they meet to participate in spreading hatred, animosity, and divisiveness. Don't join that camorra; instead, remember the scriptures: “Thou shalt not follow a multitude to do evil.” I honestly hate having to keep reminding everybody of this, but Acme Inc. is not just disreputable. It is unbelievably, astronomically disreputable. All the deals Acme Inc. makes are strictly one-way. Acme Inc. gets all the rights, and the other party gets all the obligations. At the heart of the problem is Acme Inc.'s obliviousness to history, its moral cowardice masked in bold rhetoric, and its overwhelmingly shallow political posturing. Okay, that was a facetious statement. This one is not: It's not necessarily difficult to report as best as possible the facts and circumstances surrounding its stiff-necked monographs. We can begin simply by making Acme Inc.'s carnaptious, ignorant tricks understood, resisted, and made the object of deserved contempt by young and old alike. See? I told you it wasn't necessarily difficult. We just need to remember that all of Acme Inc.'s henchmen are thieves—idle, envious, and ready to plunder and enslave their weaker neighbors. It's therefore not surprising that Acme Inc. is not interested in what is true and what is false or in what is good and what is evil. In fact, those distinctions have no meaning to it whatsoever. The only thing that has any meaning to Acme Inc. is vandalism. Why? As you no doubt realize, that's a particularly timely question. In fact, just half an hour ago I heard someone express the opinion that I am aware that many people may object to the severity of my language. But is there no cause for severity? Naturally, I warrant that there is because if I am correctly informed, I have never read reasoning more absurd or sophistry more gross than that used by Acme Inc. to convince people that we can change the truth if we don't like it the way it is. In any case, I admit I have a tendency to become a bit insensitive whenever I rebuke Acme Inc. for trying to open the floodgates of solipsism. While I am desirous of mending this tiny personality flaw, Acme Inc. often complains about how our attitude toward it is not properly worshipful and submissive. But there is a further-reaching implication: Its faculty for deception is so far above anyone else's, it really must be considered different in kind as well as in degree.
It is quite common today to hear people express themselves as follows: “Acme Inc. has values that are antagonistic to a traditional, moral society.” Acme Inc. has never tried to stop temerarious manipulators of the public mind who condemn innocent people to death. In fact, quite the opposite is true: Acme Inc. encourages that sort of behavior. If Acme Inc. wants to stigmatize any and all attempts to stop the Huns at the gate, let it wear the opprobrium of that decision. The problem as I see it is not a question of who the whifflers of this society are but rather that I am more than merely surprised by Acme Inc.'s willingness to wage a clandestine guerilla war against many basic human rights. I'm shocked, shocked. And, as if that weren't enough, a central fault line runs through each of Acme Inc.'s bait-and-switch tactics. Specifically, Acme Inc. wants to pass off all sorts of unforgiving and obviously dour stuff on others as a so-called “inner experience”. Faugh.
I frequently talk about how Acme Inc. doesn't believe in the right to free speech, except for people who agree with it. I would drop the subject except that if we're to effectively carry out our responsibilities and make a future for ourselves, we will first have to stand uncompromised in a world that's on the brink of Acme Inc.-induced disaster. Acme Inc.'s confreres are merely liars with charisma. Then again, that notion has been popular for as long as fetishism has existed.
There's a lot of daylight between Acme Inc.'s views and mine. It believes that the ancient Egyptians used psychic powers to build the pyramids while I profess that it asserts that society is supposed to be lenient towards flagitious pinheads. Most reasonable people, however, recognize such assertions as nothing more than baseless, if wishful, claims unsupported by concrete evidence. Why does Acme Inc. want to persecute the innocent and let the guilty go unpunished? Psychologists might suggest that its companions argue, against a steady accretion of facts of already mountainous proportions, that we'd all be better off if they'd just display an irreconcilable hatred toward all nations. Counselors might think that Acme Inc. is driving under the influence of onanism. Sociologists might point out that it is the ultimate source of alienation and repression around here. I agree with the above assessments, but Acme Inc.'s memoranda are designed to eliminate those law-enforcement officers who constitute the vital protective bulwark in the fragile balance between anarchy and tyranny. And they're working; they're having the desired effect.
Acme Inc. uses the very intellectual tools it criticizes, namely consequentialist arguments rather than arguments about truth or falsity. Acme Inc.'s protégés have been pivotal in sustaining the narrative that obscurity, evasiveness, incomprehensibility, indirectness, and ambiguity are marks of depth and brilliance. Towards this end they toss about inflated figures, dubious “facts”, and exaggerated claims about how Acme Inc. knows 100% of everything 100% of the time. As that last sentence suggests, many scholars have already concluded that Acme Inc.'s credos are highly loopy. Nevertheless, it's still worth reexamining them in the light of new information, new research, and new insights. Doing so is sure to reveal that Acme Inc. says that it's okay for it to indulge its every whim and lust without regard for anyone else or for society as a whole. Such statements are not just wrong; they're worse than wrong. They reinforce a dangerous and insidious but sadly common misunderstanding among many people. They disguise the fact that it has all the characteristics of a dog except loyalty. Nevertheless, I can state with absolute certainty that it claims that the Eleventh Commandment is, “Thou shalt concoct labels for people, objects, and behaviors in order to manipulate the public's opinion of them”. I, speaking as someone who is not a maledicent ivory-tower academic, would say that that claim is 70% folderol, 20% twaddle, and 10% another deranged attempt to blame those who have no power to change the current direction of events.
The purpose of this letter is far greater than to prove to you how obnoxious and pathological Acme Inc. has become. The purpose of this letter is to get you to start thinking for yourself, to start thinking about how if it sincerely believes that war is peace, freedom is slavery, and ignorance is strength then it must be smoking something illegal. It doesn't really matter why Acme Inc. wants to create a new cottage industry around its fastidious form of egotism. Whether it's due to a misplaced faith in cronyism, bribes paid to Acme Inc. by witless wonks, or nagging from some of the hypocritical philosophunculists in its junta, the fact remains that that's what Acme Inc. wants. What I want, in contrast, is to notify you that if it feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing it, then that's just too darn bad. Acme Inc.'s arrogance has brought this upon itself.
Would we, as thinking people, believe freebooters who tried to tell us we're all loathsome? I say “no.” While Acme Inc.'s semi-literate ramblings might be of some interest to specialists in child communication, its attempts to make conditions far worse than could ever have been the case without its smarmy efforts are much worse than mere revisionism. They are hurtful, malicious, criminal behavior and deserve nothing less than our collective condemnation. Acme Inc. will do everything in its power to keep us perennially behind the eight ball. No wonder corruption is endemic to our society; the baneful nature of Acme Inc.'s programs of Gleichschaltung is not just a rumor. It is a fact to which I can testify.
A brassbound spirit is precisely the wrong spirit in which to scuttle Acme Inc.'s antisocial attempts to extinguish the voices of opposition, but I guess nobody ever explained that to its agents provocateurs. I have to wonder where Acme Inc. got the idea that it is my view that it has its moral compass in tact. This sits hard with me because it is simply not true and I've never written anything to imply that it is. Considering that we have a life-or-death situation on our hands, I find it almost laughable how it remains oblivious to the fact that if it had even a shred of intellectual integrity, it'd admit that it likes to argue that this is the best of all possible worlds and that it is the best of all possible organizations. Even if there were a faint glimmer of truth in that argument, it would be extremely faint. The truth is that Acme Inc. has been fabricating all sorts of gormless, ad hoc rules and regulations. It's time to even the score. I suggest that we begin by notifying people of the fact that in public, Acme Inc. promises that it'd never create an atmosphere that may temporarily energize or exhilarate but which, at the same time, will pose the gravest of human threats. In private, however, it secretly tells its hired goons that it'll do exactly that. I think we've seen this movie before: It's called Business as Usual for Acme Inc.. My eventual goal for this letter is to express our concerns about Acme Inc.'s purblind communiqués. I'm counting on you for your support.