Booty call agreement

[MusicNeverDies]

BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT

This Booty Call Agreement (here in and after referred to as "The Agreement")
is entered into on the ____ day of, ________, 2008,
between __________________________ (the Caller)
and __________________________ (the Booty).

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES.

1. No sleeping over unless sex was exceptional and a morning repeat is required.
2. No meeting in public for dinner or drinks before or after the event.
3. No calls before the event of the evening.
4. None of that "Love making" Shit - Only sex is Allowed.
5. No emotional discussions i.e: Where are we heading with this?/Do you love me?
6. No plans made in advance - that is why the Booty is also referred to as called the "Back Up".
7. All gifts accepted - Money always good.
8. No baby talk - not to be confused with dirty talk.
9. No asking for a comparison with former lovers- it's none of your business.
10. No referring to us as "Friends with Benefits" - we aren't friends, just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is not punishable, unless such punishment activities have a sexual connotation.
12. No clothing left behind when you leave.
13. No falling a sleep after sex - it's over,so get your ass up, get dressed and go home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.
15. You can not borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommates Girlfriend/Boyfriend"
17. Doggie Style is the Preferred position.
18. Reason for Doggie Style:The less eye contact, the better.
19. NO Condoms, N0 ****ing, get your butt to 7-11 and get some.
20. Bring your own drink - I am not a Liquor store.
21. No Phone use -I don't want any one calling back looking for you.
22. Any attempts of jealousy will be laughed at .
23. Pregnancy problems aren't the guys problem until confirmed and notarized (The position of 'dad' is not instantly ours to apply for)
24. The phrase "I don't do that , it's nasty" will be removed from all participants vocabulary .
25. No hinting for changes to the original contract , If you don't want to feel dirty or hoe-ish, then go take a shower and don't ask for money.
26. **** Your feelings, there your feelings for a reason. If you loved me , I would probably hear from you more then at 2am when you "want to talk"
27. Your friends are eligible for the same contract that we have .
28. No goodbye kisses in public.
29. No arguments will be permitted.
30. Anyone who gets hurt over the whole process is solely responsible for their own feelings.
31. I'm not your man/woman so don't ask me to do anything that your man/woman should unless it's sexual.

Failure to comply with the rules above will result in termination of this agreement, meaning you will be removed from The BOOTY CALL LIST and DELETED from Speed Dial and Email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the Rules.

Participating Party Signatures,

_________________________ Date______of,______2007.

_________________________ Date______of,______2007.

[Trieste]

Bwahahaha.

I ... I have a problem with this rule, though:

24. The phrase "I don't do that , it's nasty" will be removed from the female vocabulary .

s/the female/all participants'

Thankyouverymuch. *nods*

[MusicNeverDies]

Hehe. Anything else?

[Trieste]

I think that about covers it. Now, if you'd just sign here, I went ahead and filled in the top... *sidles over to MND and waggles eyebrows*

[MusicNeverDies]

I think that about covers it. Now, if you'd just sign here, I went ahead and filled in the top... *sidles over to MND and waggles eyebrows*

*blinks**dives off to check out Trisete's O/O's*

[Trieste]

*cackle*

/hijack

[Inkidu]

Screw that sex isn't worth it. 

[Mathim]

That really sounds like no benefit at all to the woman. That's basically a guarantee that they'll be left pregnant and in the lurch like my mom after my dad skipped town. Sorry, stuff like this that touches close to home just ain't funny to me...

[Trieste]

I took it as 'unless it's proven to be mine' on the preggers thing. That is, no "I'm pregnant! Leave your wife/girlfriend for me!" *two months later* "Oh, haha... guess I wasn't after all."

[Mathim]

I took it as 'unless it's proven to be mine' on the preggers thing. That is, no "I'm pregnant! Leave your wife/girlfriend for me!" *two months later* "Oh, haha... guess I wasn't after all."

Exactly; that means that sort of plan fizzles so for some women, that contract would completely ruin their chance of going any further than that. I don't know, maybe I'm looking into it too deeply. I mean, it was nice and simple when they did this on Chappelle's Show like five years ago, they didn't go into detail about too much stuff, just having fun with it.

[Trieste]

Eh... I think you're overthinking it a bit. I think it's funny purely in the spirit of a joke. It's not like I'd go around asking potential bouncebuddies to sign it.

[Le RandomBloke]

10. No referring to us as "Friends with Benefits" - we aren't friends, just sex buddies.

bud·dy  (bd) Informal
n. pl. bud·dies
1. A good friend; a comrade.
2. A partner, especially one of a pair or team associated under the buddy system.
3. Friend or comrade; chum. Used as a form of familiar address, especially for a man or boy: Watch it, buddy.
intr.v. bud·died, bud·dy·ing, bud·dies
To associate as a buddy or buddies: buddied around with the older guys.
Phrasal Verb:
buddy up
To ingratiate oneself, as by presuming friendship: buddied up to the coach in hopes of making the team.

Sexteam!

[Trieste]

...

"And I'll form the head!"

[Mathim]

Now that I think about it, Chappelle's Show did this same joke, like, 5 years ago...this is a really old joke, then.

[MusicNeverDies]

There is pretty much nothing new, in terms of... well mostly anything. Everything is brought back and altered a little, and advertised as something new. There are simply not enough topics in the world for everything to be new. Some people, like myself, and I think Trieste, have not seen this before, on the Chappelle show, or before that from wherever Chappelle stole it, or from who that person stole it from.

Regardless of if you have or have not seen this particular joke before, you do not need to try and bring down the general moral of the topic so that everyone else can share in your indifference.

[The Overlord]

That really sounds like no benefit at all to the woman. That's basically a guarantee that they'll be left pregnant and in the lurch like my mom after my dad skipped town. Sorry, stuff like this that touches close to home just ain't funny to me...

The whole thing smacks of ugly sarcasm methinks.

[Chris Brady]

Oh for the love of...

What's really ironic here is that the three girls in this thread seem to take in the spirit that the joke was intended while the two guys are offended.

[Le RandomBloke]

Hey, there are guys who find it chuckle-worthy aswell.

[The Overlord]

Oh for the love of...

What's really ironic here is that the three girls in this thread seem to take in the spirit that the joke was intended while the two guys are offended.

I count one.

[Le RandomBloke]

[Trieste]

<3 RB so hard.

[Cutter]

That kills me..

-blinks at lipstick tube in eye-

I think it did---keels over--




(BTW-funny bit-party-poopers get over yourselves)

[The Overlord]

That kills me..

-blinks at lipstick tube in eye-

I think it did---keels over--




(BTW-funny bit-party-poopers get over yourselves)

Nobody's party pooing anything, if you don't all behave I'm going to make this pencil disappear *evil grin*

[Cutter]

Bah!