BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT
This Booty Call Agreement (here in and after referred to as "The Agreement")
is entered into on the ____ day of, ________, 2008,
between __________________________ (the Caller)
and __________________________ (the Booty).
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES.
1. No sleeping over unless sex was exceptional and a morning repeat is required.
2. No meeting in public for dinner or drinks before or after the event.
3. No calls before the event of the evening.
4. None of that "Love making" Shit - Only sex is Allowed.
5. No emotional discussions i.e: Where are we heading with this?/Do you love me?
6. No plans made in advance - that is why the Booty is also referred to as called the "Back Up".
7. All gifts accepted - Money always good.
8. No baby talk - not to be confused with dirty talk.
9. No asking for a comparison with former lovers- it's none of your business.
10. No referring to us as "Friends with Benefits" - we aren't friends, just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is not punishable, unless such punishment activities have a sexual connotation.
12. No clothing left behind when you leave.
13. No falling a sleep after sex - it's over,so get your ass up, get dressed and go home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.
15. You can not borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommates Girlfriend/Boyfriend"
17. Doggie Style is the Preferred position.
18. Reason for Doggie Style:The less eye contact, the better.
19. NO Condoms, N0 ****ing, get your butt to 7-11 and get some.
20. Bring your own drink - I am not a Liquor store.
21. No Phone use -I don't want any one calling back looking for you.
22. Any attempts of jealousy will be laughed at .
23. Pregnancy problems aren't the guys problem until confirmed and notarized (The position of 'dad' is not instantly ours to apply for)
24. The phrase "I don't do that , it's nasty" will be removed from all participants vocabulary .
25. No hinting for changes to the original contract , If you don't want to feel dirty or hoe-ish, then go take a shower and don't ask for money.
26. **** Your feelings, there your feelings for a reason. If you loved me , I would probably hear from you more then at 2am when you "want to talk"
27. Your friends are eligible for the same contract that we have .
28. No goodbye kisses in public.
29. No arguments will be permitted.
30. Anyone who gets hurt over the whole process is solely responsible for their own feelings.
31. I'm not your man/woman so don't ask me to do anything that your man/woman should unless it's sexual.
Failure to comply with the rules above will result in termination of this agreement, meaning you will be removed from The BOOTY CALL LIST and DELETED from Speed Dial and Email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the Rules.
Participating Party Signatures,