Name of Applicant: Isaac Thornton
Age: The driver's license I found with my picture says I'm 23
Astrological Sign: According to the same license, I am a Capricorn
Blood Type: A negative
How can you be contacted: Bloodstone ritual or by cell phone on file with the Sheriff's Secret Police
How did you hear about us: A hooded figure told me. I was terrified, but it simply dissolved into a cloud of noxious vapor that gave me retroactive amnesia, so I guess everything is okay
Tell us about yourself: I know little to nothing about myself because of the hooded figure that stole my memories, but I think I am a fun person who enjoys working and putting my job before my own family, pleasure, and life.
Do you have an aversion to fire: No, I embrace it!
Do small, dark places make you nervous: No, I sleep in a box
Have you take offence towards blood rituals: Of course not! How else do you stay in touch with loved ones and deities that have no name but command you to worship their very existence?
Any connection to an elder god: Possibly to the great and mighty Cthulu, but grandma never confirmed or denied her relationship with him.
Have you ever seen a ghost: Yes
Would you like to be a ghost: Not yet, maybe later
Do you believe in angels: Not unless it is currently legal to do so
Would you like to be an angel: No, I like being allowed to exist at all times
Have you ever lived in Desert Bluffs: How dare you ask such a thing? I may not remember anything about my life before that hooded figure told me about your job here, but I know I would never live in such a horrible place.
Does it bother you that the intern application is longer than the radio host application: It is? I had not noticed.
Please include a photograph: