Don't you have the feeling things got 'worse' after you knew you had it?
I mean for examply my schedule has always been important to me. I just need to know what I have to do in two hours time. But lately, I completely freak out when something comes up. I get nervous, restless and even try to get away from it.
First time I realized it (which got the whole train rolling) was when I got the dog. I didn't know what it was but I had my schedule and set times for everything and then I got a puppy and she didn't really pay attention to any of it. It freaked me out but it does now even more. The dog's adapted but I sort of haven't.
Honey, I think you are confusing developing a condition with having a condition identified.
It sounds to me that your condition is getting worse, and you need to take steps to improve it.
For me, I have always had these symptoms - I have never been able to deal with people, or stressful situations, I've always been shy, I've always been obsessive about certain things, I've always had a high IQ, and a vivid imagination and bugger-all ability to express my imagination - Don't be fooled by my writing on here, this ability to write is something I have developed recently, as with my ability to paint (which is no where near as good). I've always had difficulty getting ideas that seem obvious to me across to other people, and at the same time having trouble understanding what the hell it is they are on about. I have never been able to read people's emotions or empathise with them. I've always had trouble making friends.
To be able to put a label on the condition, to say "This is because I'm Asperger's Syndrome", has actually helped me cope. I'm not some sort of freak! I have a medical condition that explains it all. I means I canm find others like myself who have similar experiences. It also means there is a treatment . Being "self diagnosed", I'm also "self treating", basically by forcing myself to do things that make me feel like panicking and curling up into a little ball. And slowly, over time, I have improved.
So, Dasha, babe, don't give up. There is hope. The first stage to fixing a problem is identifying it. Now you know you have Asperger's, you can do something about it. But think of this: If you didn't know
you had it, you would still be having the same symptoms, you just wouldn't know why.
When i was a kid, they didn't have a diagnosis for Asperger's. They had only just figured out what autism was. There was no way I was ever going to be diagnosed correctly - I was labled as a "bright but naughty" child with a poor attention span and a tendency to act up if I didn't get my own way. The fact that I was incapable of understanding why
I couldn't have my own way never crossed my parents' or teachers' minds!
Anyway, I'm rambling (I think that's a minor symptom too - a tendency to ramble. Not a conclusive one but put it with the others... lol).
My point is, being diagnosed is not the end of the world, it's the beginning of a new one - the start of the fight back!
I'm sorry if this came across as rambling more than helpful. I was just speaking my mind rather than composing it. If you ever need anyone to talk to about it I'll be more than glad to try to help.
I rest my case, lol...