At the time, I wanted to come up with a new username different from what I'd used on other sites as the old one didn't really reflect who I was and I was more morose at the time. Kakihara is the antagonist, sort of, in one of my favorite Japanese movies by the exceptional Takashi Miike. He is both a masochist and a sadist and it fit my inner self at the time. And in a way, he's actually more the one you root for in the movie since the title protagonist is rather unlikable.
It's not really so much who I am now but the name's grown on me and I still love the film and the character so, yeah, works for me.... though still don't know why I didn't capitalize the K.