... are you sure you're just NOT seeing them where you don't want to see them?
Again, you're pointing to exceptions that are small, small parts of the greater whole. Yeah, Tony Stark had a drinking problem. And it was dark, and bad. But he got over it. Was it in there to teach a lesson? Maybe. But then again isn't drinking to excess something generally considered 'cool' by teenagers? I know it was when I was in High School and College, among just about every peer group except maybe the Uber Christians. And the thing of it is, you knew Tony was going to get over it. Because he's a Man and Men don't let things beat them. Just like you know Batman is going to beat the bad guy. And so is Iron Man. They are stronger than any addiction, any setback. Male Power Fantasy.
And as for Batman, yeah, he wanted a family. His parents alive. But they were killed, and he became Batman. Whatever he wanted, he gave it up to STAY Batman. He never has a family, never gets married, he sacrifices it all to be a badass with all the toys who beats the crap out of his opponents and always has the right tricks to win. So yes, he is still a badass. Maybe they wanted to show a bit of a more human, vulnerable side to him, but in the end, he's still goddamn Batman.
Jessica Drew is an exception. Remember I mentioned those? Pointing to one character, one example, and saying "This, right here, this disproves everything everyone is saying that I don't like" does not work. And if I recall, her powers don't have anything to do with fear. She can fire blasts of bioelectricty, but she also has a pheremone that attracts men and repulses women, doesn't she? How much fun can that be?
Frankly, sometimes being in the middle of a hobby means your view is limited. Forest for the trees, and all that. Just because you don't get why something offends someone doesn't mean it isn't legitimate, or that it is being blown out of proportion. The flaws you scrutinize and look for are different than the flaws another person will scrutinize and look for. One person and one person's views don't negate a problem, anymore than folks who think it's fine and funny to be racist in a comedy or whatever negate the racism.
80's cartoons and their positive messages at the end of the shows don't negate the fact that the cartoons were made to sell toys. Toys to little boys mostly, who couldn't care less about, or were just starting to learn about, breasts and sex and the rest. And they kept their messages simple. "Don't be a bully", "Don't shoplift", etc. It's like saying that the kids who grow up today watching Teletubbies and the like who go on to make comics and shows and all the rest won't be sexist or unfair to women, because Teletubbies wasn't. There are plenty of other mediums and shows that did and do perpetuate the problem.
As to your rant about the Woman in the Fridge, again, why not show weaker men getting victimized instead of women and children? Why always take the easy way? There are plenty of ways to show someone is big and bad and mean without having to have them rape a women, or mutilate, or murder her. Why do women always have to be shown as the weaker ones? Because it's easy, because the audience expects it. It's lowest common denominator, and it's too much effort for many of them to really make the effort.
I have a feeling that the people on E who feel strongly about this subject -have- looked deeper. As have many others who take exception to objectification of women in all forms of media. Sure, there are knee-jerk reactionists, but there always are on both side of any issue, and they are often the loudest. But that doesn't mean that every person who feels strongly that this is something happening and is wrong fall into that group, my self included. And thus far, I've yet to see a single thing brought up that actually goes any distance toward disproving that this is an issue.