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Author Topic: I have a learning  (Read 412 times)

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Offline ThesunmaidTopic starter

I have a learning
« on: February 13, 2013, 04:44:45 AM »
This will most likely sound silly but...well I am feeling fairly good right now because I have been told its not my fault and its not because I am stupid with numbers.I finally have a clinical diagnosis that I am not just stupid.

I have something called Dyscalculia. Which I realize sounds like a vampiric vacuum cleaner or some kind of revenge of the nerds count chocula. But it is essentially is a form of Math Dyslexia. I have suffered through school where I was told I was either just not trying hard enough or I was lazy. Yes I decided to slack off in one area and one area only.Because that's apparently how I like things? But anyway...I have been diagnosed and it was specifically because someone suggested..Have you ever been tested for a learning disorder and I thought to myself..hmm...maybe? I looked it up and there it was staring me in the face..I am a classic example of Dyscalculia with some adhd symptoms but not strong enough to say I have full blow case of adhd. Just some symptoms.

The doctor said because every other I showed to be in either the high average or mid average range it would be difficult to diagnose since in I am apparently articulate and the only places I had difficulty is slight verbal memory problems (if you tell me something I should write it down) and calculation skills and grasps of numbers.

This is a weight off my mind since I for the longest time thought I was just stupid and it frustrated me to no end as I am sure some people on here have had happen to them"Your so smart..if you would just try a little harder...You have so my potential...You just need to apply yourself..."Growls"These phrases followed me most of my life and its driven me insane.

So this is a fuck you to all those teachers that said I was just not trying hard enough. I tried....I tried to the point of crying I was so frustrated why I just could not get it like others my age. So might be childish...but IN YOUR FACE..ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO SAID I WAS LAZY AND NOT TRYING!

I feel better now that I am finally know whats going on and I am looking into getting the help I need. So this has taken over 30 years to find out but there might be people out there in my boat. You are here so chances are you are not stupid.You kind of have to have some brains in your head to pass the questionnaire and most of the people I have met here are lovely and supportive. I don't know if this will help anyone but perhaps it might make someone think about things a bit more with either themselves or their kids before they put it down to"they are just not trying."

OK getting off my soap box..but I feel better now.

Offline Purpitypurps

Re: I have a learning
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2013, 05:16:25 AM »
Congrats to having Dyscalculia. =P Sorry it took so long to find out about it though, too many teachers/whoever assume that kids "just don't try hard enough"
Similar thing happened to my younger cousin and it brought him into such a deep depression. After he had been held back a year in middle school and in high school he finally got tested and found out he had a learning disorder. (can't remember what) But it took way to long IMO to have the thought of "Maybe he is trying. Lets see what it is."

For me though I am afraid the teachers were right in my case. I just really did not give school my best effort. But I think it should be pretty easy to see if someone is giving it their best or not. My cousin had great attendance and passed most classes accept when it came to reading/writing. (Shows up to class and is slacking in one certain subject... hmmmmm) For me it was terrible attendance failing most classes accept for reading/writing. Eventually not even showing up at all to school except for Guitar class. (Pretty easy to tell I was not giving it my best)

Offline Rhapsody

Re: I have a learning
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2013, 05:27:33 AM »
My little brother had a lot of issues in school, until he was diagnosed with dysgraphia, which is a dysfunction in the ability to hand-write and be coherent.  He's long out of school now,but I remember there were a lot of tutors and frustrations about trying to get him to do homework. Once they started giving him his tests and assignments orally, his grades improved.

I'm so happy that after years of stress and simply not knowing, you finally have an answer. I know from my own family experiences that it can be like a hundred pounds is suddenly gone off your shoulders.

Offline Tsenta

Re: I have a learning
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2013, 08:03:43 AM »
You know what? It's far from childish to say "I told you so" to all those skeptics. My mother and aunt actually suffer from dyslexia for numbers so I know how hard it can be, at least you finally have a diagnosis and are getting help. Better late than never, ne? :P

Offline ThesunmaidTopic starter

Re: I have a learning
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2013, 08:14:26 AM »
I just went to see a lady about tutoring. I start Monday at 9 am...whee...that was scarily easy after all the crap I had to go through to get the dam diagnosis. I had to wait almost a month to get an appointment with the doctor and then waited another month to get the test results which I received yesterday and I got home just in time to miss the lady I needed to talk to about this for the day. Called this morning she told me come down I did she looked over the Dr's assessment and said you start Monday. Bring your brain with you.

I am just a bit stunned...I have had all these people telling me to hurry up and wait...and now suddenly I have..hope of some kind of future being able to go to school..this is just..weird to be honest.

I have not been hopeful about the future in a long time. But thank you guys for letting me know I am not alone about things. Thank you.

Offline Boxy

Re: I have a learning
« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2013, 09:25:26 AM »
It's not exactly the same, and it seems some are split on the issue of whether to classify it as a disability(and others have debated over whether it should be "cured", but that's another topic entirely), but as I've stated here before, I have autism.  Of course, I'd grown up knowing I was already, so I got some therapy early on, which I guess was good for me.  However, I never really thought about what it meant until these last few years, when I started to frequent this one forum meant for others like me.  I learned about all different kinds of issues others' dealt with that I didn't even realize I had myself.  I'd thought I was just a nerd, but reading about how these things autism and aspergers can cause gives me more understanding as to why, despite desiring fulfilling friendships and relationships with other people, they may not quite be able to because of barriers in communication, and not just those that are at the forefront or the most obvious, either.  Whenever I hear others talk about those like me are just cold-hearted or antisocial or actually want to be isolated - and to see that kind of talk encouraged by a majority - it hurts me a lot, much like comments made about not trying hard enough.

It's hard for me not to underestimate the power of a diagnoses, having had one very early on myself, but I've heard from many others, and not just from other people with autism, how it has been near life changing for them to finally be able to know that what they have is real, to not be invalidated.  I suppose there are some that it seems to affect negatively; I've seen some people pretty much give up on life once they've found something is inherently "wrong" with them.  They wonder what the point is of trying to get around it if they will never truly be able to overcome it.  While I can not blame them, I don't view things in life in such a way.

In the way that society is set up, terms like "stupid" are used for a large variety of reasons, and I think most are unnecessary, if not all.  Chances are, going through life, you will never be able to know absolutely everything.  Not to say that you shouldn't strive for what you want, but it is more about your own personal values than anything else.  You should not have to be so hard on yourself for things only others find important.  Some of the kindest, most respectful people I know, I did not consider terribly smart(not that I'm the best, either).  Because it didn't matter to me how much a person new, I have been able to form great friendships with these people.  In my opinion, a persons' value has little to do with such arbitrary things, let alone many other worldly things outside of the personality at their core.  Sure, expression may be able to tell you some things, but to me, it never paints the whole picture.  You don't really know someone until you've had an honest and open discussion with them.

I suppose one thing that has helped me has been this one book I read in my early teenage years, titled 'Flowers for Algernon'.  Again, not the same disability, but I found I could relate to the main character for the fact he was disabled alone.  Just that he felt different and isloated and by society's standards, stupid.  I've recently watched the movie(and there's actually another that was made earlier on, titled 'Charlie', if you want to look that one up), and while I feel they've changed it too much and for the worse, I think it may still be worth a watch.

Flowers for Algernon-part 1

In any case, I hope that whatever you decide to do, that you don't let something like this drag you down.  I know I've already spent too much time letting myself feel upset over things I should not have cared so much about in the past, realizing that they were not as crucial to myself, so much as it was just about impressing people who I realized did not even care anyway.  Life has been so much better that I now realize what I want out of life and who my true friends are that will help support me.

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Re: I have a learning
« Reply #6 on: February 13, 2013, 09:43:40 AM »
I show all the signs of Dyscalculia and should've been diagnosed in College, had the woman I went to see not gotten distracted with my Dyspraxia diagnosis and talked about that. She did run some tests, and I have very low mathematical skills. But she never actually confirmed diagnosis, nor gave me any support in getting me a qualification in maths. She was pretty useless overall. Nobody seems to know about how to get it diagnosed here, not my nurse nor the place I attend for employment support. I should make a doctor's appointment about it, see if I can get any help that way.

But, back on subject, I know the feeling. I really do. I feel so stupid for not understanding numbers, handling money terrifies me, and having few people believe I am trying it's just incredibly hard.

Offline ThesunmaidTopic starter

Re: I have a learning
« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2013, 09:51:58 AM »
Thank you boxy. And I had a roommate that has aspburgers. She was just a very high functioning one. Also I read flowers for algernon when I was young and I loved the book. And I have watched the movie charlie and I bawled like a baby at the end because it really was not fair he lost his intellect.

I am trying not to be negative. This is more of a Eureka moment for me..I understand why I had problems for so long and its sort of a load off my mind. The doctor actually said Basically we need to get you through the math part of your high school equivalancy test. Then you just don't make a career of anything that would involve alot of math and your strengths will keep you going.

I want to go into being an IT technician and while there will be math involved theres also these wonderful inventions called calculators. So I am looking into getting my math part applying for school for next year and hopefully not having much problems with that. I know where my weaknesses are now and I can work on them. I don't see myself as disabled so much as yes! i have an answer and now i can work on it.

But also yes...fuck you teachers who said I was lazy..childish? a bit...but well...nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah! lol

and griff I wish I could give you the name of the dr i went to see because she was  lovely.

This is the place I went to look up symptoms and see if i could figure out things. and I then googled to see if there was any learning disabilty places in my city who directed me to the doctor i went to.

I don't know if this will help but..maybe it might help things to be more clear? It helped me because I was able to say look I have this this and this...please...test me! so..maybe give it a look?

Online Oniya

Re: I have a learning
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2013, 10:07:14 AM »
Depending on your degree of discalculia, your tutor may be able to give you alternative ways of looking at math problems.  I forget exactly where they draw the line for the GED, but tricks like thinking of the numbers as something else can work in some cases. 

As for needing math for being an IT Tech?  Um - not as necessary as you might think.  Numbers, sometimes; calculations not so much; logic, most definitely.  The only time my math degree got a workout when I worked IT was in helping a scientist write an Excel spreadsheet - which wasn't technically part of my duties.

Offline Kuje

Re: I have a learning
« Reply #9 on: February 13, 2013, 01:21:26 PM »
I do understand this and for years I've felt like I've had this but no one around here has ever tested me for it, nor do many people understand that people DO have this problem and it's related to math and numbers. Like you, I've been told that it's me and that I just don't understand math or that I don't try hard enough, etc.

Even when I went to college, in my late 20's/early 30's, due to health problems, I took the placement tests and the instructor said to me, "I've never seen someone with such bad math skills and such good English skills. You're odd." Uh, thanks?

There's a lot of things I wanted to do in college but they never listened to me that math gives me such a head ache and I can look at the books, formulas, etc, for hours upon hours and it doesn't mean anything to me. So, it frustrated me and finally I just realized that there will be some things I just will never be able to get a degree in even though I really wanted to.

It sucks, but it was better than breaking down in tears every day trying to learn math problems, etc.