In my experience, it can be very difficult to think of a trans individual as other than their birth gender if you don't have a lot of experience with them. It seems like there is this mental inclination to go all Austin Powers, "That's a MAN, baby!" on someone if they are presenting as a woman but you can pick up cues that they are men. I don't know if this is a socialized thing, or some biological wiring that makes a person inclined to try to categorize others as 'someone I would be able to reproduce with if needed'. I do know that my personal feelings of dissonance tend to fade away the more I get to know the individual. That is my experience.
It has also been my experience that trans individuals are aware of this adjustment period, although the reaction to it is anywhere from "Eh, as long as they get there eventually" to "this is awkward and I don't like having to go through it".
Not always. A lot of the time they are very very politically minded and alert to prejudices that society isn't even aware of. Take for example, I was watching one of those trashy Pawn store shows.
A female cashier is serving, and a transgender comes in. I don't know at what stage this person was, but they were an African American, about 6 foot 3 inches tall, big muscular arms and spoke in a booming voice. They looked like a male basketball player in a dress.
The cashier treated the person very politely, cashed through the items, then the customers card declined. They became heated, and the customer started to shout, and generally act very masculine.
The cashier then uttered the word "sir" in an apology, purely accidental and all hell broke loose and the customer threatened to slap her (which is different than your regular woman slapping another woman, this customer was twice her size). Now, I'm sorry but in my opinion, if you are masculine, you argue like a man would argue, you give off the aura of a man, then you need to accept that the way people's subconcious works, perception will often rule the way they act towards you or the words they use. This customer went on and on about the money they have spent, but for all intents and purposes, they looked and acted as you would expect a male to act and look. His reaction was not as you described but more "how dare she, i'm taking this to the highest court in the land" and in all honesty, I find that to be as typical as the reactions you have quoted.
I can't condemn that cashier, because I would have made the exact same mistake. Like her, I would have apologised afterwards, and I would have felt bad about it. But people need to accept that just because they feel they were born incorrectly, they are putting people in uncomfortable situations when something like this occurs. The best thing the customer could have done was accept her apology and move on, leaving it an embarrassing incident for the both of them.
So it's intolerant to not be accepting of someone's intolerance of others? It's disrespectful to disrespect someone's disrespect of others? It's prejudice to say "I don't agree with prejudgment people"?
Not every view that disagrees with yours is intolerant or prejudgemental. You feel it is wrong I don't feel the way you feel about a particular subject. Yet for every reason you can give for how you feel the way you do, I can give a reason. You may feel it is prejudgemental for me not to want to share a locker room with a transgender female. Yet as above, not all transgender females act like women. Your view is not open, someone like Trieste clearly disagrees with me but keeps an open mind and understands all the different viewpoints. Your comments are as closed and as one sided as you believe mine to be.