You are either not logged in or not registered with our community. Click here to register.
 
December 03, 2016, 04:04:51 PM

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length

Click here if you are having problems.
Default Wide Screen Beige Lilac Rainbow Black & Blue October Send us your theme!

Hark!  The Herald!
Holiday Issue 2016

Wiki Blogs Dicebot

Author Topic: Cat Diary (cute)  (Read 936 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline King_FurbyTopic starter

Cat Diary (cute)
« on: May 28, 2008, 10:31:30 PM »
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt
to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely
made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Idiots!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return.
He is obviously retarded.

Offline Sabby

Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #1 on: May 29, 2008, 12:06:15 AM »
Explains a lot...

Epic find :)

Offline King_FurbyTopic starter

Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2008, 12:59:09 AM »
It's sort of true in a way. I got it in one of those random e-mails.

But it's funny how cats tend to look at us humans as dulls. My cat always looks at me like i am stupid. It's cute of course. My cat wants to snuggle when i don't, and when i want to snuggle she wants nothing to do with me. I swear the purring is some sort of sonic weapon they just haven't learned how to use correctly yet.

Offline Caeli

Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2008, 05:59:36 AM »
Ohh, I remember this chain letter, vaguely. xD There's a related "Excerpts from a Dog's Diary", too:

Excerpts from a Dog's diary:
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Offline The Great Triangle

Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #4 on: May 29, 2008, 04:32:19 PM »
Ah, dogs.  So serene.  So much of a horrible failure of natural selection.

Offline Trieste

  • Faerie Queen; Her Imperial Lubemajesty; Willing Victim
  • Dame
  • Carnite
  • *
  • Join Date: Apr 2005
  • Location: In the middle of Happily Ever After with a dark Prince Charming.
  • Gender: Female
  • I am many things - dull is not one of them.
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 4
Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #5 on: May 29, 2008, 06:03:34 PM »
Bwahaha. Yes, I remember this one. I think it should be labelled 'diary of a kitten' though, because this is kitten behaviour... all my cats mellow out considerably as they get older, and seem to grow disdainfully accustomed to their confinement at the hands of their human slaves. :P

Offline ShrowdedPoet

  • Sexual Deviant
  • Dame
  • Enchanter
  • *
  • Join Date: Apr 2008
  • Location: Between the dark places in the world
  • Gender: Female
  • Don't tell the pirate that I'm under his bed. . .
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 2
Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #6 on: May 29, 2008, 06:13:44 PM »
This is funny, is there more? 

My cat enjoyed it's time with me. . .it was an inside outside cat.  His name was Spirit and I loved him very much.  Someone murdered him.  I have a hole where he was. . .I miss him. . .

Offline Sabby

Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #7 on: May 29, 2008, 11:40:01 PM »
...murdered? Did you kick the fucks head in? *anger, blah!*

Offline ShrowdedPoet

  • Sexual Deviant
  • Dame
  • Enchanter
  • *
  • Join Date: Apr 2008
  • Location: Between the dark places in the world
  • Gender: Female
  • Don't tell the pirate that I'm under his bed. . .
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 2
Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #8 on: May 30, 2008, 09:26:35 AM »
...murdered? Did you kick the fucks head in? *anger, blah!*

I was outside and a car was going down the road, swerved into the other lane and sped up just to hit him.  No I didn't but I would have loved to.

Offline Sabby

Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #9 on: May 30, 2008, 10:24:40 AM »
If there is any way to find out who this dispicable cuntscab is, I'd love to see you follow up and have the book thrown at him. Its disgusting how weak the law is when it comes to animal cruelty, at least here.

...I get heated on this topic >.>

Offline ShrowdedPoet

  • Sexual Deviant
  • Dame
  • Enchanter
  • *
  • Join Date: Apr 2008
  • Location: Between the dark places in the world
  • Gender: Female
  • Don't tell the pirate that I'm under his bed. . .
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 2
Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #10 on: May 30, 2008, 10:26:21 AM »
I agree.  I still cry sometimes about my wonderful kitty.  I'm gonna get a tat in memory of him. . .after all he was my Spirit.

Offline Sabby

Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #11 on: May 30, 2008, 10:27:36 AM »
Good man ^^

Offline ShrowdedPoet

  • Sexual Deviant
  • Dame
  • Enchanter
  • *
  • Join Date: Apr 2008
  • Location: Between the dark places in the world
  • Gender: Female
  • Don't tell the pirate that I'm under his bed. . .
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 2
Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #12 on: May 30, 2008, 11:02:18 AM »
Uhm, women. . .

Offline Sabby

Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #13 on: May 30, 2008, 11:27:38 AM »
Oops! Sowwy ^^ you have a guy in your pic.

Offline The Great Triangle

Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #14 on: May 30, 2008, 11:29:15 AM »
I'm pretty sure that's a female Sabbers.  Have you been attending your home econimics classes?

Offline ShrowdedPoet

  • Sexual Deviant
  • Dame
  • Enchanter
  • *
  • Join Date: Apr 2008
  • Location: Between the dark places in the world
  • Gender: Female
  • Don't tell the pirate that I'm under his bed. . .
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 2
Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #15 on: May 30, 2008, 11:31:02 AM »
Oops! Sowwy ^^ you have a guy in your pic.

Nope, that's a girl, it's me. . .

Offline Sabby

Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #16 on: May 30, 2008, 11:32:54 AM »
*sucks air in through teeth* ouch... embarrassing...

Offline ShrowdedPoet

  • Sexual Deviant
  • Dame
  • Enchanter
  • *
  • Join Date: Apr 2008
  • Location: Between the dark places in the world
  • Gender: Female
  • Don't tell the pirate that I'm under his bed. . .
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 2
Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #17 on: May 30, 2008, 11:34:15 AM »
*sucks air in through teeth* ouch... embarrassing...

It's ok, I've been told by one other player that it looks like a guy.  There are no immediate things visable making me look like a women in that picture so I can understand the misunderstanding.

Offline Sabby

Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #18 on: May 30, 2008, 11:37:12 AM »
Google "Chris Lily"

Offline ShrowdedPoet

  • Sexual Deviant
  • Dame
  • Enchanter
  • *
  • Join Date: Apr 2008
  • Location: Between the dark places in the world
  • Gender: Female
  • Don't tell the pirate that I'm under his bed. . .
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 2
Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #19 on: May 30, 2008, 11:37:34 AM »
Will do. . .

Offline ShrowdedPoet

  • Sexual Deviant
  • Dame
  • Enchanter
  • *
  • Join Date: Apr 2008
  • Location: Between the dark places in the world
  • Gender: Female
  • Don't tell the pirate that I'm under his bed. . .
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 2
Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #20 on: May 30, 2008, 11:41:00 AM »
What exactly am I looking for. . .

Offline Sabby

Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #21 on: May 30, 2008, 12:22:35 PM »
An Australian comedy actor. Hes who I thought it was a pic of. He did "Summer Highs High"

Offline MadPanda

  • Grand High Exquisitor and Errant Knave-in-Chief
  • Knight
  • Carnite
  • *
  • Join Date: May 2005
  • Location: Somewhere Near The Emerald City...
  • Gender: Male
  • I'm letting my anima out of her box to frolic...
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 0
Re: Cat Diary (cute)
« Reply #22 on: May 30, 2008, 02:29:23 PM »
"Day 987

Today I was selected for the water torture and doused with a burning, foamy liquid apparently called 'shampoo'.  I managed to wound one of my captors: the taste of bloody thumb-flesh between my teeth is scant solace, but I take what I can get."