Domestic Violence (Seren and shooter6806)

[Lynnie]

After reading all of these and looking back on my life and realizing up until ten years ago when I met and fell in love with the most wonderful man in the world, I went from one domestic violence relationship to another. Most of it started when I was only four years old. My father went from being a kind, loving, wonderful man to hateful, angry, and condescending to everyone around him.

One of the cousins (father's side of the family) decided that since I was four years old I was the perfect age to be molested. I had ran to my mom crying with blood running down my legs because this cousin managed to destroy my hymen at that age. Sadly it only went downhill from there after a few years, when I turned eight years old I went from looking like a child to looking like a sixteen year old girl. I had large breasts, curves in all the right places, and was having my monthly. My father decided that his wife/my mother was not what he wanted anymore and started to rape me. I have to keep reminding myself that he raped me and just because I didn't fight back, scream, cry, or do anything about it was because this was my daddy and he wouldn't do anything that was wrong...I was completely mistaken. It continued until I actually turn 16. During that time he passed me around to his friends, and well anyone he wanted too.

I managed to tell my mom when I was 16 because I was freaking out because I was pregnant and everyone knew I didn't have a boyfriend. I broke down crying asking no, begging my mom to forgive me for doing this to her. I was so broken and filled with self hate that I thought I had deserved it. Therapy helped me realize that I didn't deserve what he did to me and well I was still depressed. I lived in a bottle hopping from one crappy relationship to the next, one decided I was a lovely punching bag, I stuck with that one until he threatened to kill me, something snapped and I fought back and kicked him out of my life. The next three where all emotionally abusive. They tore me apart, and I went deeper and deeper into the bottle.

I had given up on love and ever being with anyone again except for one night stands. I meet my now husband who helped heal my wounds, mend my heart, and made me into a wonderful woman worthy of love, compassion, and confidence.

[shooter6806]

It’s been a while since I posted in this blog and I thought it might be a good time to talk briefly about a couple of subjects that caught my attention…..

First is the effect that the ongoing Covid-19 pandemic has on family relationships and domestic abuse.  With many people now staying at home, willingly or not, the stress induced by both this enforced closeness and the prospect of the virus itself increases the chances for domestic violence.  Be aware of this and if possible attempt to keep in contact with anyone you know who may be having problems in these unprecedented times.  Here are a couple of links to info about this. 

https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMp2024046

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/coronavirus/coronavirus-and-domestic-violence-what-you-should-know

Switching gears to a personal subject…..  I recently had the unhappy task of moving my father into assisted living/dementia care, and then saying goodbye to him when he died a while later.  While thankfully he was very well-cared-for in his final days, it brought the subject of elder abuse to my attention as I spoke with relatives of other elderly persons who had been subjected to abuse from either family members or caregivers.  This abuse ranged from mild to horrific.  Going through Alzheimer’s or dementia is terrible enough, for both the victim and the family, but to endure the kinds of abuse that I learned about is an order of magnitude worse.  Again, a link to some info:

https://www.ncoa.org/public-policy-action/elder-justice/elder-abuse-facts/

As always, I invite your comments and questions. 

Stay safe.