The real rapist, who has a high percentage chance of relapse when returned to society, will actively look for his victims, there will be very little "opportunity" or "lack of restraint" about his crimes.
We're not talking about douchebags who get girls drunk to then take advantage of their inebriated state, I'm talking about the "drag into the bushes and threaten with violence" type predators.
I think a better categorization would be the likelihood of recidivism.
The "real" rapist is the one who is psychological compelled to commit the act regardless of context or circumstance.
I do consider him a rapist, just not in the same category as the aforementioned serial offender. The difference is that I believe there is still a chance to rehabilitate and re-educate the so called date rapist. The pathological rapist is unlikely to be changed.
I've been trying to figure out where you're going with this series of statements. It's depressing to see 'real rapist' brought up, but I'm moving past it with the assumption that you didn't mean it that way. We all put our feet in our mouths from time to time. :)
However, I think you've put your finger on a perception that feeds into some of the misconceptions about rape and sexual assault. If there is to be considered a so-called real rapist, the numbers show that he is overwhelmingly someone the victim knows. Alcohol, not Rohypnol or GHB, is the most common date rape drug. I think that a lot of women don't want to believe that their rapist is:
Someone they know, and possibly are attracted to.
Someone they would date.
Someone who might share mutual friends, or move in the same social circles.
Someone they will have to face again.
Someone who might defend themselves, not only to the authorities but to friends and family.
Someone they might have trusted.
Someone they might have liked.
Someone they might have loved.
That guy is the common rapist. That guy, right there in that list, is the man that women need to protect themselves most against. The one who drags people into the bushes is very nearly
nonexistent. The multitude of women that are raped every year will have to worry about their friend, their boyfriend, a classmate, a coworker, a boss. Not only does focusing on Mister Bushes as a 'real' rapist defy the numbers, it does a disservice to women who are seeking to educate and protect themselves. Focusing on a phantom guy who has a miniscule chance of being one's attacker is not only wrong because it is incorrect, but it is also wrong because it teaches women to look out for the wrong kind of rapist.