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Author Topic: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?  (Read 4755 times)

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Offline BitterSweet

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #25 on: October 14, 2012, 08:56:29 PM »
Could you elaborate on that, please :P?

It seems more likely, though not universal, obviously, that male players on E are less sexually flexible.  Many male character profiles go something like this:

Heterosexual, dominant, attracted only to females.

Sometimes they're slightly adventurous and are willing to play females who are only attracted to females.  Sometimes they're not into D/s at all (though my view on the D/s aspect is skewed since I look at D/s type entries much more frequently than others).

Also, somewhat common, and much more common among male players than female or liege players.

Heterosexual, dominant, attracted only to females and will only play with female players.


Comparatively few male players are bi, submissive, switch, willing to play with liege or male players (even when the characters are female), interested in sex based RP with other gendered characters, and other types of flexibility that would increase partner opportunities.

Female and liege players seem much more likely to be willing to play both male or female characters, be attracted to both male and female characters (as well as trans, other, etc), be fine with playing with male or female or liege players and other sorts of sexual flexibility that allows for more opportunities to play with interesting people.

Desire is desire, and it's isn't really adjustable so, I'm not scolding or criticizing anyone - but paraphrasing Woody Allen, sexual flexibility does increase your chances of a date on Saturday night.
« Last Edit: October 14, 2012, 08:57:44 PM by BitterSweet »

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Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #26 on: October 14, 2012, 09:19:00 PM »
It's like sex is an after thought in most of these games, I like a good sci fi fantasy game as much as anyone else, but it seems like people aren't really giving too much thought into the actual sex portion of their games. A lot of games are just not sexy, someone needs to bring the sexy back. That's just my .02$

Yes, but.

I think it has to do with keeping a groupgame well structured to have sex either outside a game or inside separate thread(s). If this is not done, a groupgame structure can easily collapse or derail. Unless you have a full blown orgy with all of the group's players, you will not have the full group advance through the game. And that's quite unlikely due to what BitterSweet just pointed out.

[/my2cents]

Offline Ryuka Tana

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #27 on: October 14, 2012, 09:30:30 PM »
It seems more likely, though not universal, obviously, that male players on E are less sexually flexible.  Many male character profiles go something like this:

Heterosexual, dominant, attracted only to females.

Sometimes they're slightly adventurous and are willing to play females who are only attracted to females.  Sometimes they're not into D/s at all (though my view on the D/s aspect is skewed since I look at D/s type entries much more frequently than others).

Also, somewhat common, and much more common among male players than female or liege players.

Heterosexual, dominant, attracted only to females and will only play with female players.


Comparatively few male players are bi, submissive, switch, willing to play with liege or male players (even when the characters are female), interested in sex based RP with other gendered characters, and other types of flexibility that would increase partner opportunities.

Female and liege players seem much more likely to be willing to play both male or female characters, be attracted to both male and female characters (as well as trans, other, etc), be fine with playing with male or female or liege players and other sorts of sexual flexibility that allows for more opportunities to play with interesting people.

Desire is desire, and it's isn't really adjustable so, I'm not scolding or criticizing anyone - but paraphrasing Woody Allen, sexual flexibility does increase your chances of a date on Saturday night.

"I would note that I prefer female partners not because I'm bothered by men playing women or any such thing, but because men, on the whole, are disappointing. I could say much more about gender and how it commonly shows certain traits, but I would likely offend, and I rub people the wrong way enough as it is."

"Suffice it to say, there are more girls here that write like intelligent, mature individuals than their are males of that same nature. Lieges are a much more complex demographic, as it includes males and females (or males/females or whatever else in between), and while there's nothing wrong with being uncomfortable and experimenting... Well, some just can't find a foothold in confidence, and that just isn't appealing to me."

"Anyway, my point is, I bet a lot of guys are on that side of the fence with it. Finding other guys unappealing, not because they're male or out of some kind of homophobia. It's just that guys are so much more likely to make themselves unappealing, that it even flexible guys aren't willing to try to find the subset of guys who make interesting partners."

Offline LunarSage

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #28 on: October 14, 2012, 09:41:18 PM »
"I would note that I prefer female partners not because I'm bothered by men playing women or any such thing, but because men, on the whole, are disappointing. I could say much more about gender and how it commonly shows certain traits, but I would likely offend, and I rub people the wrong way enough as it is."

"Suffice it to say, there are more girls here that write like intelligent, mature individuals than their are males of that same nature. Lieges are a much more complex demographic, as it includes males and females (or males/females or whatever else in between), and while there's nothing wrong with being uncomfortable and experimenting... Well, some just can't find a foothold in confidence, and that just isn't appealing to me."

"Anyway, my point is, I bet a lot of guys are on that side of the fence with it. Finding other guys unappealing, not because they're male or out of some kind of homophobia. It's just that guys are so much more likely to make themselves unappealing, that it even flexible guys aren't willing to try to find the subset of guys who make interesting partners."

If that were the case, wouldn't you find a lot more female writers who refuse to write with male players?  That doesn't seem to be the case, though... so I'm not sure I agree with that thought.

That said, thank you Bittersweet for the disclaimer about there not really being anything wrong with preferring partners of a certain gender for sexual RP (note that I said sexual RP.  I don't like the idea of writing a sex scene with a writer that I know to be male, even if he's playing a female.  It's just outside my comfort zone... but I would never limit general RP to women only.  I'll RP with anyone's character in a group game, for example... but I won't have my character get romantically or sexually involved with the female character of a male writer.).  A lot of folks (in general) seem eager to criticize people like myself for that preference, and I don't think that's cool.  I'm here to RP as recreation, not to 'test limits' by stepping outside of my comfort level.  No offense to those who do like to push their limits, but as Austin Powers once said... "that's just not my bag, baby".

Offline Cold Heritage

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #29 on: October 14, 2012, 09:49:09 PM »
I want to thank Bittersweet too, for the same reason as LunarSage.

Offline Ryuka Tana

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #30 on: October 14, 2012, 10:14:06 PM »
If that were the case, wouldn't you find a lot more female writers who refuse to write with male players?  That doesn't seem to be the case, though... so I'm not sure I agree with that thought.

"If psychology and behavior were as succinct as to be described in three very short paragraphs, humans would be simple creatures indeed."

Offline BitterSweet

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #31 on: October 14, 2012, 11:23:39 PM »
"I would note that I prefer female partners not because I'm bothered by men playing women or any such thing, but because men, on the whole, are disappointing. I could say much more about gender and how it commonly shows certain traits, but I would likely offend, and I rub people the wrong way enough as it is."

"Suffice it to say, there are more girls here that write like intelligent, mature individuals than their are males of that same nature. Lieges are a much more complex demographic, as it includes males and females (or males/females or whatever else in between), and while there's nothing wrong with being uncomfortable and experimenting... Well, some just can't find a foothold in confidence, and that just isn't appealing to me."

"Anyway, my point is, I bet a lot of guys are on that side of the fence with it. Finding other guys unappealing, not because they're male or out of some kind of homophobia. It's just that guys are so much more likely to make themselves unappealing, that it even flexible guys aren't willing to try to find the subset of guys who make interesting partners."

There are bad players of all genders and preferences everywhere.  Women who don't know where a clit is, or what it is.  Men who don't seem able to write about male arousal, let alone respond to another writer's depiction of female arousal (or the desired sex they're interested in).  Catastrophic failures of writing comprehensibility and, sometimes, simple incompatibility.  It's never easy to find good players.

I'd agree that, in a very broad sense, you're slightly more likely to find female players more mature when it comes to sexual scenarios which I think is due to the fact that women are stereotypically discouraged from acting on their sexuality, especially if it is at all unusual, so a female player has to put some thought into reaching out at all.  I think that stereotype is fading, however, as sexuality of all sorts (and sexual misinformation) becomes more prevalent thanks to the internet and everyone can be equally confused.

You're welcome, LS and CH - desire is what it is and sexy fun times are for having fun, not working on sexual politics.  We've all got our limits and our fascinations.

Offline Ryuka Tana

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #32 on: October 14, 2012, 11:36:33 PM »
"I didn't specify, 'sexually mature', mind you. However, it's not an argument I'm interested in bothering to have at this point."

"The fact is, it seems pretty clear the level of sex on E the infinitesimal hyperbole that it's being made out to be. More communication makes the process that much easier, however. If want one wants is sex, then ask for sex, or make it clear, whatever... If one wishes for it to be a bonus rather than a goal, make that clear. Negotiations may need to be made, but in the end, if everyone is clear, things just run much more smoothly."

Offline Haibane

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #33 on: October 15, 2012, 10:31:30 AM »
I never write in a game that doesn't involve sex. Its why I write on this site ;)

Hm, actually I think I have been in a couple of sex-less games, but I wasn't the GM in either of them. Given that I've done over 130 games on her and I can think of 2 that didn't have sex... hell yeah!

Online Chrystal

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #34 on: October 15, 2012, 11:40:26 AM »
*giggles and slaps that pink-clad booty* Go you, H!

Seriously, I have done games that didn't have sex, but they are few and far between and usually don't last long.

I have done games where the main focus wasn't on sex, but they always had some sex in them.

I think the amount of sex in a game is largely dependent on the players, the setting and whether the two are conducive to making whoopie!

Offline Thufir Hawat

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #35 on: October 15, 2012, 01:27:47 PM »
It seems more likely, though not universal, obviously, that male players on E are less sexually flexible.  Many male character profiles go something like this:

Heterosexual, dominant, attracted only to females.

Sometimes they're slightly adventurous and are willing to play females who are only attracted to females.  Sometimes they're not into D/s at all (though my view on the D/s aspect is skewed since I look at D/s type entries much more frequently than others).

Also, somewhat common, and much more common among male players than female or liege players.

Heterosexual, dominant, attracted only to females and will only play with female players.


Comparatively few male players are bi, submissive, switch, willing to play with liege or male players (even when the characters are female), interested in sex based RP with other gendered characters, and other types of flexibility that would increase partner opportunities.

Female and liege players seem much more likely to be willing to play both male or female characters, be attracted to both male and female characters (as well as trans, other, etc), be fine with playing with male or female or liege players and other sorts of sexual flexibility that allows for more opportunities to play with interesting people.

Desire is desire, and it's isn't really adjustable so, I'm not scolding or criticizing anyone - but paraphrasing Woody Allen, sexual flexibility does increase your chances of a date on Saturday night.
Thanks, that's about what I expected, just wanted to be sure.
And I guess it was just my luck, but most male profiles I've read have been of players who are either submissives or switches. But since I don't claim to having read a whole lot of male profiles, I'd accept your knowledge to be superior ;D!

Offline Caehlim

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #36 on: November 09, 2012, 12:48:15 PM »
Also, somewhat common, and much more common among male players than female or liege players.

Heterosexual, dominant, attracted only to females and will only play with female players.

If you're finding those ones you're lucky.

In my experience you usually find the ones who will only play with female players, but feel that this is so self-evident it doesn't actually get mentioned anywhere in their On/Offs, character profiles or thread requests. Meaning you either have to embarrass yourself and possibly both of you by asking, or search back through their posts to find their answers to the application questions and hope they answered that one clearly.

Offline Darrow Huck

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #37 on: November 10, 2012, 10:58:15 AM »
Thanks, that's about what I expected, just wanted to be sure.
And I guess it was just my luck, but most male profiles I've read have been of players who are either submissives or switches. But since I don't claim to having read a whole lot of male profiles, I'd accept your knowledge to be superior ;D!

At any rate, the vast majority of female RP requests and responses to requests are to play submissive roles, so being "Dom only" is hardly a problem for male players.

Online Chrystal

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #38 on: November 10, 2012, 06:30:53 PM »
At any rate, the vast majority of female RP requests and responses to requests are to play submissive roles, so being "Dom only" is hardly a problem for male players.

One reason I really enjoy being switch!

I get to take my pick of the lesbian and bi submissives, and every so often I find a really wonderfully vicious Dominatrix to beat some humility back into me!

Offline BitterSweet

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #39 on: November 11, 2012, 05:43:39 PM »
Yeah, it's a little frustrating if it's an issue for someone and they don't say so.

If you're finding those ones you're lucky.

In my experience you usually find the ones who will only play with female players, but feel that this is so self-evident it doesn't actually get mentioned anywhere in their On/Offs, character profiles or thread requests. Meaning you either have to embarrass yourself and possibly both of you by asking, or search back through their posts to find their answers to the application questions and hope they answered that one clearly.

Offline LunarSage

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #40 on: November 11, 2012, 05:45:25 PM »
This is why the specifics of my RP tastes are clearly listed on my ons and offs page.  :-)

Offline Haibane

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #41 on: November 16, 2012, 05:41:04 AM »
Getting back on-topic I'm genuinely surprised to see it being raised as an issue. I suppose the site has its fair share of sci-fi games, fantasy games, zombie games, historical games, military games and there may well be minimal sex content in those but on the other hand those games are like mainstream movies - you go watch them for the action, not for any random sex that might slip in there.

If you want to watch sex movies you watch porn, ergo, if you want sexual content in a forum RP you avoid the 'action movie' style games and join one of the others... and they are not hard to find! A brief browse of the players wanted thread will give you dozens. I'm thinking elliquiy's ratio of sexual games to action games must be around 90% to 10%

Offline Caehlim

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #42 on: November 16, 2012, 06:53:37 AM »
Plus if you've got any doubts you can always ask in the groups thread, "Hey, what role is sex going to play in this game?".

To be perfectly honest, and this might partly just be a Quiltbag thing, but often I find a reason you may have less sex in a game is if the players have incompatible on/offs or the wrong gender ratio. You might get a lot of people who are interested in sex, but not specifically with the other characters in the game. If you're looking for an M/M or F/F sexual encounter in a mainstream group-game this can get exaggerated with relatively few people interested or willing and you may not find the character/writing style/ons and offs to be compatible with the one or two people who are a match.

Offline Thufir Hawat

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #43 on: November 19, 2012, 06:57:51 PM »
At any rate, the vast majority of female RP requests and responses to requests are to play submissive roles, so being "Dom only" is hardly a problem for male players.
It has seldom been a problem for me, indeed. As I said, that was probably just my luck for finding mostly sub or switch guys, and likely due to the fact that I don't read a whole lot of male profiles 8-).

And agreed with Caehlim and Haibane, IME it's both easy to ask in the recruitment, and I find the action games actually to be a minority on E. compared to sexual ones ;D!

Offline Darrow Huck

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #44 on: November 19, 2012, 07:27:20 PM »
It's also worth saying that there's a big difference between what I see on profiles and what people are asking for/responding too. I'd say that at least the majority of women here show being willing to play dominant females in their preferences, but their roleplay requests are mostly for sub roles.

Online Chrystal

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #45 on: November 19, 2012, 07:51:37 PM »
It's also worth saying that there's a big difference between what I see on profiles and what people are asking for/responding too. I'd say that at least the majority of women here show being willing to play dominant females in their preferences, but their roleplay requests are mostly for sub roles.

This is very true. Speaking as a switch female, I find it easy to get a new story going where I'm the D, but quite hard where I'm the S.

This, however is part of why most of us switches are most often after people to D us, because we have plenty of stories/games going where we are playing D. If I want a D roll, I can usually browse the wanted thread and find one I like. If I want a S role I have to wait for someone to do that to me, or PM someone I know is D from another game.

I think, also, that a lot of the "pure smut" games are in the one-shots forum. The ones where there is nothing but sex from the first post to the last, I mean. Reason being that a one-shot is the ideal place for that sort of story.

On the other hand, most players wanting to write a full-length RP will want some sort of back story to their character. Who are they, what are they doing, why are they doing it, where are they, when is it, how did they get there... All these questions need an answer, and so the sex gets pushed down the priority list, while the characters build their relationship.

And now I'm going to put a new request in the one-shots thread...

Offline Vandren

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #46 on: November 20, 2012, 08:16:07 PM »
The problem I've seen (and it's not exactly a problem if everyone is having fun) is that if you're starting a group game about spies, or sci-fi – well, it's about spying or sci-fi adventures and to be frank, if you're going to keep even a vague sense of realism, most people when faced with life threatening or difficult situations focus on them, not fucking.  Combine that with the fact that most of us get our ideas on how a spy/sci-fi/whatever story progresses from movies/books etc, which rarely have any explicit sex at all.  So, if we're following the pattern of say … Die Hard, where do we shoehorn the sex in?  There's no model to start from.

I just want to say three words here:

Bond.  James Bond.

(True, no explicit sex, but a significant amount of foreplay and heavily implied sex.)

Offline Madmartigan

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #47 on: November 22, 2012, 10:50:39 AM »
It seems to me (this being the GM section and all) that the solution to a perceived "lack of roleplays about sex" would be to create more "roleplays about sex."

Online Chrystal

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #48 on: November 22, 2012, 01:06:29 PM »
The biggest problem, in my opinion, is that there are only so many ways you can describe the act of sexual intercourse.

"He pushed his cock into her cunt, slid it in and out for a few minutes and then filled her full of sticky white goo..."

That about sums it up, really, doesn't it?

Gay and lesbian sex aren't really that much different. Once you've describe a woman licking another woman out ten times, it gets very samey, and you start to look for different things to do. Hence the more extreme RPs... And the RPs that have an emphasis on the story.

A great story is always worth reading and if it contains a well written sex scene, that's a bonus. But I'd rather read a great story with no sex than a badly written sex scene.

Offline LunarSage

Re: Anyone else a bit dissapointed in the lack of roleplays about sex?
« Reply #49 on: November 22, 2012, 01:33:22 PM »
The biggest problem, in my opinion, is that there are only so many ways you can describe the act of sexual intercourse.

"He pushed his cock into her cunt, slid it in and out for a few minutes and then filled her full of sticky white goo..."

That about sums it up, really, doesn't it?

Gay and lesbian sex aren't really that much different. Once you've describe a woman licking another woman out ten times, it gets very samey, and you start to look for different things to do. Hence the more extreme RPs... And the RPs that have an emphasis on the story.

A great story is always worth reading and if it contains a well written sex scene, that's a bonus. But I'd rather read a great story with no sex than a badly written sex scene.

+1

Yeah, the act itself can get very repetitive.