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Author Topic: The argument between Dominant and Submissive  (Read 1020 times)

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Offline Avidities HandTopic starter

The argument between Dominant and Submissive
« on: May 20, 2008, 10:14:47 PM »
I would like to ask a one question to those who play submissive ALL the time

If these apply to you please answer for all of us:

Why do you, if so, refuse to play dominant when a good role-player should know how to play both?


Offline Ajoxer

Re: The argument between Dominant and Submissive
« Reply #1 on: May 20, 2008, 10:18:25 PM »
It doesn't particularly apply to me, but... Well, MST3K Mantra. They might not be trying to be a good roleplayer, they might just be trying to have an enjoyable time. And typecasting, while it may be negative for someone who wants to be remembered as a great actor, isn't necessarily a sign that they're a poor actor- just that they're quite good at a certain kind of role.

To compare, I'd put, say, asking if a good role-player should be comfortable with and know how to play both male and female semi-regularly, or both heterosexual and homosexual characters? Sometimes there are roles we simply don't enjoy.

But, again, I'm sticking my big fat nose where it don't belong.

Offline Ariabella

Re: The argument between Dominant and Submissive
« Reply #2 on: May 20, 2008, 10:21:26 PM »
I have tried my hand at playing dominant, and at least while trying to stay by site rules (that used to be in place here and are more stringent elsewhere), I just couldn't bring myself to be good at it. I also don't play men well, and I would assume that deep inside, they're both a problem for me because it's not in me.

Now when I'm writing alone and writing a villain, I go very, very dark with their evil, and maybe there's a tiny part of me that is afraid that will happen if I'm writing dominant.

But Ajoxer said it best...I just don't enjoy playing dominant.

Offline Avidities HandTopic starter

Re: The argument between Dominant and Submissive
« Reply #3 on: May 20, 2008, 10:23:51 PM »
Yeah that is a good point you have there, I used to be strictly sub until i expanded into my evil side, that was one gory roleplay.... tought to think about...

Offline Ajoxer

Re: The argument between Dominant and Submissive
« Reply #4 on: May 20, 2008, 10:25:27 PM »
And hey, if you're good at a role, it's alright to be complacent with that. I'm not, but that is because my family is half crazy, half actors, and half politicians. I barely have a personality of my own, by god.

Offline Trieste

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Re: The argument between Dominant and Submissive
« Reply #5 on: May 20, 2008, 10:34:18 PM »
Well. There are subs and there are submissive people. They are not always one and the same. I, for instance, am very much a sub, but I am not a submissive person. I am opinionated, mouthy, uppity, obstinate, and generally difficult. It takes a very good dom to keep a handle on me for long, and hold my interest. (I can say this with confidence and not hubris after years of experimentation.)

That said, I don't play subs. I play people. If they tend to be more submissive, so be it. I play Cinderella in a thread, and she's a bit of a dreamer, a little shy and slightly timid, put into a situation where she feels out of her element and thrown off-balance. Submissive? Maybe... but difficult to picture someone who wouldn't come off as submissive in that situation.

In another thread, I play a woman up for becoming a SEAL, who's just basically trying to get what she's earned. She's been in some submissive situations... but she is not a sub. She's also a person, with her own likes and dislikes.

*grins* It's all about what you enjoy, after all.

Offline Moondazed

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Re: The argument between Dominant and Submissive
« Reply #6 on: May 20, 2008, 11:25:03 PM »
Why do you, if so, refuse to play dominant when a good role-player should know how to play both?

By your definition of a 'good roleplayer', anyway :)  Some people aren't seeking the holy grail of roleplaying... they're writing for some other reason.  I know this isn't normally spoken aloud... but some people write here just for the arousal factor, and being dominant doesn't trip their trigger ;)
« Last Edit: May 20, 2008, 11:27:00 PM by moondazed »

Offline The Great Triangle

Re: The argument between Dominant and Submissive
« Reply #7 on: May 21, 2008, 12:01:40 AM »
I suppose there is a bit of difficulty concerning the fact that the submissive is essentially in a passive role, which can make a dominant player rather annoyed if the submissive doesn't carry his weight of the story along.  I personally find playing submissive harder than playing dominant, because I can't just count on being able to engage in action to keep the plot lubricated. 

...Of course, since I usually play a sub looking to escape submission and become dominant, this usually isn't much of a problem.  Hehe.

Offline Cherri Tart

Re: The argument between Dominant and Submissive
« Reply #8 on: May 21, 2008, 10:22:56 AM »
funny, i've been thinking about something along these lines recently myself.  So, my two cents.  I am a sub.  There's really very little question about that.  I'm not neccesarily submissive, as any one here who interacts with me will attest too.  That said, there are times when i will fall into my submissive persona here and it can be a little like night and day... that said, we're talking about RP, so...

I've played around a little with RPing a Domme - I imagine how i would want to be treated as a sub and RP my character accordingly. It doesn't come naturally and it feels strange and there are times i just can't post because it's just weird or uncomfortable for me or... well, there are a variety of reasons.  I can write the part, but i don't enjoy it - like moondazed said, there is definately an arousal factor as well and, to be honest, while i am not here mainly for that, i do enjoy that aspect as well as creating a good story.  Playing a Domme does nothing for me in that regard.  I'm just more comfy playing sub.  Now, that doesn't mean all i do is play subs here - i'm very happy to play other characters who are neither sub nor Domme, but in a D/s stylye scenario i really have no interest in playing a Domme.  It's a little like people who say, "i don't/can't play a member of the opposite sex - i just don't think i'd be very good at it and i have a hard time getting into their headspace and playing them convincingly. :)

Cherri.

Offline Sherona

Re: The argument between Dominant and Submissive
« Reply #9 on: May 21, 2008, 03:44:15 PM »
Coming from someone who started out playing more subby then Dom and then because of the evergrowing desire for a dom female (pm's and posts on forums from guys who were looking for D. women who rp'd convincingly) I decided to try one.

I found I did not hate it. I didn't think I was great at it but since several others remarked on the character and asked me to play a D. female to their s Men *shrugs* I find that playing a D. Female fulfills another one of my quirks, the love of pleasing people lol.

Offline Elvi

Re: The argument between Dominant and Submissive
« Reply #10 on: May 21, 2008, 05:34:27 PM »
Good grief Hand,
I thought I'd clicked onto Marapets there....*smiles and tries to rub dancing 'dollies' out of her eyes*

As to the question, well...On here it isn't really a question.
People play what they want, when they want and how they want.
IF someone wants to play (what in many cases can be very loosely termed as) a sub, then that's what they play.

Cindy, for instance plays 'subs', but she certainly is no pushover and certainly isn't 'lazy' when it comes to furthering plot.
She's bloody good at what she does and she enjoys that aspect of roleplay, an aspect that I cannot, in fact play myself.

Offline Jefepato

Re: The argument between Dominant and Submissive
« Reply #11 on: May 21, 2008, 06:50:42 PM »
I'd like to ask a question to those who only drink Pepsi.  Why do you refuse to drink Coke, when a good soda drinker should know how to drink both Coke and Pepsi?

Seriously, the question doesn't make any sense.  There's nothing good or bad either way about personal preference.  Roleplaying is something we do for fun, not a job; a "good role-player" should only play roles he/she enjoys.

Offline Sethite

Re: The argument between Dominant and Submissive
« Reply #12 on: May 22, 2008, 11:12:27 AM »
Just because I know that I'll be better sub than dom player and I always wanna to play good.

Offline Atalya

Re: The argument between Dominant and Submissive
« Reply #13 on: June 03, 2008, 09:27:55 PM »
I've found that in a respectful and loving dom/sub relationship, the sub can have just as much control as the dom. It's more subtle, not easily noticed by the casual observer, but it's there so long as the sub is clever and creative enough to capitalize on it.

Offline Sherona

Re: The argument between Dominant and Submissive
« Reply #14 on: June 03, 2008, 10:18:41 PM »
I've found that in a respectful and loving dom/sub relationship, the sub can have just as much control as the dom. It's more subtle, not easily noticed by the casual observer, but it's there so long as the sub is clever and creative enough to capitalize on it.

Depends on what you are speaking of, Dom/sub has so many facets. so many levels. Int eh bedroom its teh sub that has complete power. Its teh sub that allows the dom to go so far, its the sub who decides when too much is too much, unless the sub's limits extend beyond the Dom's.

In living a Dom/sub relationship outside of the bedroom its completely different. I am not a pet or slave, but I am definitely submissive towards my husband. I allow him to make the decisions, he always asks my opinion but he has final say. I am happy wtih that, because I am just the type of person who prefers to follow then to lead. I don't ahve to be clever or creative because I really dont want to capitolize on finding ways to have control :D

Offline calamity

Re: The argument between Dominant and Submissive
« Reply #15 on: June 04, 2008, 08:48:34 PM »
As many have said, it depends on the situation and the definitions of dominant and submissive in the context of the story.  I am fixated on abduction, for example - although that is not all that I like to play when roleplaying.  Abduction can involve tons of different levels of D/s.  I don't generally like the rigid rules of BDSM, but occasionally it's extremely hot to play a sub in a dungeon, all bound and gagged.  The problem is that it's difficult to roleplay that - the dominant partner must carry that story.  I am only free to describe how it feels for my character to be acted upon, rather than being able to drive the story myself.  That isn't to say that it's impossible - I'm sure there are plenty of BDSM stories that involve subs bending the plot, but I doubt I'd be any good at that, and so I tend to shy away.

If a character doesn't make sense, I don't play.  I love to play a haughty, uppity bitch who is anything from cleverly seduced to outright kidnapped.  I also like to play softer women, characters whose motivations are gentle and innocent.  The point is that I usually like to be in the "submissive" role, but that doesn't mean my characters suffer for the preference.  Nor does my gaming, in my opinion.