Damnit, now I have to go plug it back in?
Aww, I think i'm done for the night. With any luck, I'll have a new SATA drive tomorrow or friday and I can stop messing around with my BIOS completely.
Thanks for all your help May, even if we didn't get it running tonight, I now know what to look for, instead of going to the store and asking "I need a hard drive that doesn't plug in with the ribbon thingie, but the small thing that says P18 on it instead. hurr durr", so that's worth something right there.
Maybe I'll get an awesome HDD. Supposodly, data transfer rate was the only thing holding this PC back...