Uh, yes, yes you do. If nothing else you pay for renting the space. You might not be paying for the actual marriage itself, per se, but if you want to have it in their church with their organist, etc., you're paying for it.
While some churches may have a guideline for you to follow as far as fees, it is still a honorarium for the majority, as far as I have seen.
Though you might have to pay for the services of secular workers, I.E. the janitor, organist, choir, whose services you may use and are not required to take a vow of poverty and do not work for the church.
As for paying for the church, if you are a member, most of the time, you will be permitted to use it for free or a nominal donation. Again, they may have a guideline set, but it's still up to you to decide if you will pay it. Also, they will go by income as well.
I have been to weddings where no one thought to bring a fee for either the church or the pastor, (the best man was supposed to and he totally forgot) the wedding still was performed and the pastor was gracious, the organist and choir still sang, again with grace.
Personally, I just want to be able to have the same rights as everyone else has. I've been with Jated, my partner for over eight years. We consider ourselves married. We wear rings. But, until recently, I couldn't go and see her in the hospital if she was in critical condition because I am not legally family.
Jated had cancer and was in Critical care after her surgery. I had to tell them I was her sister to be permitted to visit her. The nurse was about to tell me no, as she knew I was lying, when the doctor came and told me to come with him to see her. He was my doctor as well and knew we were a couple. So, yeah... that sucked. It still makes me cry to think about it.
Second, J has a 12 year old son whom I adore and who loves me. Should anything happen to her, I have no rights at all to see him. As a step parent, I at least might have the chance to have some way to be able to have some sort of ability to file for visitation. At least I could hope. He's been a part of my live since he was four, and I have been a part of his.
Third, Jated and I are buying a home together. We have been for six years. If I die, I have insurance... it will automatically pay off the house. However, if anything happens to Jated, I have nothing. I am not her spouse, she can not get insurance due to the cancer, and her income will not come to me because .... that's right, I am not her spouse. I am not entitled.
If something happens to J. I know what she wants done. No living on machines, etc. But, anyone from her family can change that.
Same with me, she knows what I want, but... anyone from my family can change that. Even with living will.s
So, what about a civil union. Everyone who gets married really only has a civil union as far as the law is concerned. It's not the religious ceremony that counts as far as the government allows. We can go to any pastor, priest, rabbi, person with an internet certificate of investure, and have them say words of unity and be spiritually married in the eyes of God or any Deity you want, but legally, nope.
So, give me the civil union please. That is what I want. I can find the religious service from a religion that accepts me and that I can embrace.
I like that term civil union. To be united with civility. Yes, please. I'll have one of those.