Part of my whole reasoning is that some people don't really have friends. I was on E for three years before I made any. I don't have many real life friends, and most of the time when I'm in real trouble they're sleeping. There are people here who have said they don't have any real life friends, or not ones they can really count on. I just... know what it's like to feel you have no one to turn to.
Actual counselors cost money. If you're not insured, or like me, have crappy insurance that would require a copay you can't afford, that's out of the question. I've tried suicide hotlines. Absolutely no fricken help what so ever. I was just advised to go to my local ER, where I was looked at funny and treated like I was wasting everyone's time. Their resident psychiatrist is the same one at the public low cost place, who damn near killed me twice being careless and stupid. After talking to others around here, the retard kills more people than he helps, and avoids losing his license by only communicating through his nurses, and blames them. The fucker told me to keep taking a medication that was making me suicidal.
Obviously there would need to be some sort of disclaimer. And I know, not everyone has good intentions. I didn't mean that said people would be a person's sole mental help. I was just thinking about the nights I've felt lost, confused, depressed, and wished to god there was someone, anyone, I could talk to. I look at the clock and know everyone who does give a damn is sleeping. So I get to sit alone with the voices in my head that tell me I'm just a worthless piece of shit that no one really cares about. I don't bother with suicide hotlines anymore because it's always the same thing. The ER doesn't want me there. They treat me like the piece of shit I feel like, flat out asking me why I'm there because there's nothing they can do for me.
But... okay... I'm an idiot.