Okay, I haven't read 50 Shades (yet...I plan to, just so I can bag it knowledgeably!), but some of the quotes I've been seeing just do my head in! Like this:
"His pointer finger circled my puckered love cave. "Are you ready for this?" he mewled, smirking at me like a mother hamster about to eat her three-legged young."
Mewled? Seriously? If someone was 'mewling' at me during sex, I'd slap him silly! And what exactly is sexy about a mother hamster eathing her three-legged young? WORST. ANALOGY. EVER!!
A woman I know is reading it, and not overly impressed. I showed her some of my erotic writing, and she was fanning herself and telling me she could market that in a second. Seriously...if this trash can get published, I'm in like Flynn!