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Author Topic: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James  (Read 30350 times)

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Offline Star Safyre

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #475 on: December 27, 2012, 10:41:31 AM »


Accurate.

Offline persephone325

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #476 on: December 27, 2012, 11:34:17 AM »
Something that thoroughly pissed me off about this book, was the ridiculous double standards that bastard has.

* persephone325 drinks hot chocolate to calm down...

Offline Cami

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #477 on: January 15, 2013, 08:15:09 PM »
I'm so thankful I was linked to this thread. Nice knowing that I'm not the only one who can't stand what's been dubbed as "mommy porn." I can't agree more. I read all three in the original fan fiction, and the newly revised published copies, just so I would have a license to bitch. These books are terribly written. She has absolutely no idea what she's talking about as far as BDSM is concerned, and it REALLY pisses me off that E.L James even mentions "fifty shades of fucked up" and "BDSM" in the same book. I know this has all been ranted and raved on before, including in this thread, but seriously?! Plus, I'm not very happy that a million fucking women and two now think they want to be tied up and spanked. No. Just...no.

Offline persephone325

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #478 on: January 15, 2013, 08:27:50 PM »
Something else that thoroughly annoys me about this "series" is that is has created one of THE WORST phrases I have ever head since "I'm just joshing."

LATERS, BABY

I want to kill everyone who says it...

Offline Oneiros

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #479 on: January 15, 2013, 08:29:38 PM »
It reads like an old person trying desperately to sound 'cool' to twenty-something.

"Laters! You guys still say 'laters', right? I'm hip!"

Offline Caeli

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #480 on: January 15, 2013, 08:31:22 PM »
It reminds me of that episode of Modern Family where Phil Dunphy was trying to prove that he was hip with the teenage lingo, and the attempt is such that it makes you realize that he's very NOT 'cool.'

Offline Cami

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #481 on: January 15, 2013, 08:36:25 PM »
I have a friend named Josh who says "I'm just joshing ya." I find it amusing. So I can't really compare, but I completely agree. My next thing has been mentioned but how Anatasia refers to her pussy as "down there" CONSTANTLY. A grown woman. The first time it read, I just kind of shook it off. But after the fifteenth time I began to wonder if the book was written by a high schooler who got their hands slapped anytime a slightly dirty word was said.

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #482 on: January 15, 2013, 08:38:00 PM »
I have a friend named Josh who says "I'm just joshing ya." I find it amusing. So I can't really compare, but I completely agree. My next thing has been mentioned but how Anatasia refers to her pussy as "down there" CONSTANTLY. A grown woman. The first time it read, I just kind of shook it off. But after the fifteenth time I began to wonder if the book was written by a high schooler who got their hands slapped anytime a slightly dirty word proper anatomical term was said.

Fixed!  ;D

Offline persephone325

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #483 on: January 15, 2013, 08:39:13 PM »
It reads like an old person trying desperately to sound 'cool' to twenty-something.

"Laters! You guys still say 'laters', right? I'm hip!"

Haha! So true!

It reminds me of that episode of Modern Family where Phil Dunphy was trying to prove that he was hip with the teenage lingo, and the attempt is such that it makes you realize that he's very NOT 'cool.'

I've never seen that show, but it sounds very fitting. lol

I have a friend named Josh who says "I'm just joshing ya." I find it amusing. So I can't really compare, but I completely agree. My next thing has been mentioned but how Anatasia refers to her pussy as "down there" CONSTANTLY. A grown woman. The first time it read, I just kind of shook it off. But after the fifteenth time I began to wonder if the book was written by a high schooler who got their hands slapped anytime a slightly dirty word was said.


YES!! But it that were true, she would contradict herself by constantly saying "fuck" and "shit".

Offline Cami

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #484 on: January 15, 2013, 08:41:42 PM »
Well, James had to make up for the lack of genitalia synonyms somewhere in an EROTICA book, right? ~facepalm~

Offline persephone325

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #485 on: January 15, 2013, 08:45:39 PM »
Well, James had to make up for the lack of genitalia synonyms somewhere in an EROTICA book, right? ~facepalm~

lol True. But even then, the "erotica" isn't even erotic! I've written better erotica when I was thirteen, and I didn't even know what erotica was! Granted, it was still crap, but at least I didn't refer to my vagina as "down there". Not even once!

Honestly, whoever writes a sex scene and uses the phrase "holy crap"  or "holy moses" in said sex scene, should be smacked in the head with a dildo made out of concrete.

Online Oniya

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #486 on: January 15, 2013, 08:48:37 PM »
*sings*

It was easy then to write this messed-up pair
Didn't research, didn't care
Changed the names to protect my cash
Wrote too much 'down there'

And today there is no Safe or Sane
For punishment or sex with pain
Erotic ropes or whips and chains
Fifty Shades of Grey...

Offline persephone325

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #487 on: January 15, 2013, 08:50:22 PM »
*sings*

It was easy then to write this messed-up pair
Didn't research, didn't care
Changed the names to protect my cash
Wrote too much 'down there'

And today there is no Safe or Sane
For punishment or sex with pain
Erotic ropes or whips and chains
Fifty Shades of Grey...

ROFLMAO I think the fact that she didn't do any research at all pisses me off the most...

Offline Cami

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #488 on: January 15, 2013, 08:53:04 PM »
*sings*

It was easy then to write this messed-up pair
Didn't research, didn't care
Changed the names to protect my cash
Wrote too much 'down there'

And today there is no Safe or Sane
For punishment or sex with pain
Erotic ropes or whips and chains
Fifty Shades of Grey...

~snorts~ My new favorite song.

lol True. But even then, the "erotica" isn't even erotic! I've written better erotica when I was thirteen, and I didn't even know what erotica was! Granted, it was still crap, but at least I didn't refer to my vagina as "down there". Not even once!

Honestly, whoever writes a sex scene and uses the phrase "holy crap"  or "holy moses" in said sex scene, should be smacked in the head with a dildo made out of concrete.

I probably did too, thinking back on it. But only because at fifteen I was already so immersed and dead set on becoming a submissive, it tainted my view on literature as a whole. Therefore, anything I wrote had some sexual nature to it, with a dominant male as a protag. ~shivers~


HOLY MOSES! Mmm, sexy. Really makes me want to hop into bed. "Spout more religious figures at me, baby."


She also, fucked over the fanfiction writer Tarasueme. Wrote a trilogy, actually cited her sources, and while it wasn't perfect, it didn't make me want to gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon. Nothing about the work is original, or unique. Tis' not a "special cookie."
« Last Edit: January 15, 2013, 08:54:54 PM by Cami »

Online Oniya

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #489 on: January 15, 2013, 08:54:59 PM »
~snorts~ My new favorite song.

The whole thing is written out up-thread a ways.  I have a bad filking habit.

Offline persephone325

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #490 on: January 15, 2013, 09:01:17 PM »

I probably did too, thinking back on it. But only because at fifteen I was already so immersed and dead set on becoming a submissive, it tainted my view on literature as a whole. Therefore, anything I wrote had some sexual nature to it, with a dominant male as a protag. ~shivers~


HOLY MOSES! Mmm, sexy. Really makes me want to hop into bed. "Spout more religious figures at me, baby."

lol I was (and still am) the same way. Always a male dom and a female sub. And pretty much all of my stories involved (or still do involve) NC.

"Oh god! Cain! Abel! Yes! YES!!" rofl

Offline TheGlyphstone

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #491 on: January 15, 2013, 09:06:03 PM »
lol I was (and still am) the same way. Always a male dom and a female sub. And pretty much all of my stories involved (or still do involve) NC.

"Oh god! Cain! Abel! Yes! YES!!" rofl

Rule 34 on Jesus.
"Oh me, oh me, oh me yes oh yes oh my dad!"

Offline Cami

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #492 on: January 15, 2013, 09:07:53 PM »
Same. But now that I have an actual sexual outlet, I can write "normal" stuff again. The real thing is so much better, truthfully. Ugh, I had this woman come in for a boudoir shoot, (I'm a photog.) and I had to turn her away because she wanted me to create her sets based on the book. This monstrosity is literally top on my "most hated literature" list. There's a lot of books on there, too.

Online Oniya

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #493 on: January 15, 2013, 09:10:50 PM »
Same. But now that I have an actual sexual outlet, I can write "normal" stuff again. The real thing is so much better, truthfully. Ugh, I had this woman come in for a boudoir shoot, (I'm a photog.) and I had to turn her away because she wanted me to create her sets based on the book. This monstrosity is literally top on my "most hated literature" list. There's a lot of books on there, too.

'Lady, if you want fifty shades of grey, I'll break out the black and white film - but it'll cost you extra for the monochrome processing.'

Offline Rolo

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #494 on: January 15, 2013, 11:09:06 PM »
Lmao!!  I think Miss James is at 14:59 everywhere except here!!

Offline Caeli

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #495 on: January 16, 2013, 01:50:29 AM »
'Lady, if you want fifty shades of grey, I'll break out the black and white film - but it'll cost you extra for the monochrome processing.'
How about ninety-nine shades of grey? ::)

Offline Lilias

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #496 on: January 16, 2013, 01:56:19 AM »
As usual in such cases, the parodies are much better than the original.

(William Codpiece Thwackery? Epic win. ;D)

Offline persephone325

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #497 on: January 16, 2013, 02:20:25 AM »
This has become my favorite thread. ;D

Offline Merry Gentry

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #498 on: January 21, 2013, 09:03:27 AM »
Honestly, whoever writes a sex scene and uses the phrase "holy crap"  or "holy moses" in said sex scene, should be smacked in the head with a dildo made out of concrete.

omg.. favorite quote of this thread!  :D

Offline persephone325

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #499 on: January 21, 2013, 09:06:12 AM »
omg.. favorite quote of this thread!  :D

lol Well I'm glad you like it! I honestly didn't even know what else to say, and that was the first thing that popped into my head. XD rofl