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Author Topic: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James  (Read 30257 times)

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Offline Oneiros

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #100 on: July 11, 2012, 10:41:52 PM »
I've heard from many people who've apparently read it that it's not actually in the book, but I've clearly not read it, I probably would really kill myself then.

Offline Oniya

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #101 on: July 11, 2012, 10:56:35 PM »
Okay, I just did Google the quote.  (And the forensic detectives are going to love finding that one.)  Every tumblr I found it on attributed it to a tumblr by Kaley.  Kaley's tumblr link brings up a page that's titled 'It's not a real quote, so stop reblogging it'.  I'm going to say 'pics or it didn't happen.'

Offline Will

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #102 on: July 11, 2012, 11:26:00 PM »
Considering the books are written in present tense, I'm gonna have to call BS as well.  No google necessary, haha.  There are plenty of fugly quotes from 50 Shades as it is; I don't see why anyone would need to make them up to prove a point. :P

And unfortunately, being able to write is only one part of being successful as a writer.  The much larger part is promotion.  You can either be good/lucky enough to be picked up by a major publisher, and let them do the leg work for you, or you can self-publish and do it all on your own.  Which is what this woman did, apparently.  I would assume that she was also helped out a lot by word of mouth, thanks to the ready-made market of Twilight fandom.  And that's a whole 'nother box of worms, right there.  Terrible, awful worms.

Honestly, every day I leave the house makes me more certain that there is no accounting for taste in this world.

Offline SinXAzgard21

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #103 on: July 12, 2012, 12:14:32 AM »
Puckered?  *checks self*  I'm beginning to doubt that E.L. James is female.  Seriously.  Because that was written by someone who's never seen a vagina.


Offline Oniya

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #104 on: July 12, 2012, 01:27:24 AM »
*snrks*  Well, fake quote was fake, anyways.  Until someone shows me a scan of the page, which I am not expecting anyone to put themselves through.

Offline Water Lilly

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #105 on: July 12, 2012, 01:28:49 AM »
That's more than a passing resemblance right there!! ::)

Offline Shjade

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #106 on: July 12, 2012, 01:54:09 AM »
Okay, I just did Google the quote.  (And the forensic detectives are going to love finding that one.)  Every tumblr I found it on attributed it to a tumblr by Kaley.  Kaley's tumblr link brings up a page that's titled 'It's not a real quote, so stop reblogging it'.  I'm going to say 'pics or it didn't happen.'

Confirms my theory of trollfiction, at least. Sadly, just for the one sentence. That leaves the books themselves back in the space of being possibly considered "legitimate" books by someone, somewhere.

Sigh.

Offline Isobel

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #107 on: July 12, 2012, 03:13:23 AM »
Well finally I've had to blow 1p on ebay to get it, to see if I can work out its appeal!  I haven't read a good word about it from anyone who knows literature.  Present tense??  :-\ 


Though there does seem to be a lot of a certain type of description.

Offline Water Lilly

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #108 on: July 12, 2012, 03:17:49 AM »
Scan it all up for us, Isobel! ;)

Offline Isobel

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #109 on: July 12, 2012, 03:39:05 AM »
Scan it all up for us, Isobel! ;)
Lol times are hard!!

Luckily it's in pdf already  8-) ;D

Offline Water Lilly

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #110 on: July 12, 2012, 03:49:53 AM »
I'd buy it...but I don't want to add to her sales.  I only want to read it so I can bag it more genuinely! ;)

Offline Isobel

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #111 on: July 12, 2012, 04:12:45 AM »
TBH I'm not sure I'm adding to her sales Lilly  :-[


Though I don't begrudge her the success myself.  Making millions out of bad writing?  Not sure that isn't seriously impressive  :o


Now: I just wanna find out HOW...

Offline Stone

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #112 on: July 12, 2012, 04:14:39 AM »
Now: I just wanna find out HOW...

Right place, right time, right fad.

Offline SinXAzgard21

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #113 on: July 12, 2012, 04:19:02 AM »
Wait for the next big book series, write a fanfic and find a publisher with nothing to lose.

Offline Water Lilly

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #114 on: July 12, 2012, 05:00:51 AM »
Right place, right time, right fad.

Totally.

Now that 50 Shades is a fad, though...that kinda opens up the market for those of us that can actually write smut well.  Right? ;)

Offline Oniya

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #115 on: July 12, 2012, 09:25:07 AM »
Well finally I've had to blow 1p on ebay to get it, to see if I can work out its appeal!  I haven't read a good word about it from anyone who knows literature.  Present tense??  :-\ 


Though there does seem to be a lot of a certain type of description.

I've read some good present tense novels.  I want to say 'Snow Crash' was done in first person, present tense (Neil Stephenson).  A couple of Lovecraft's stories were fp/pt.  This person is no Neil Stephenson, and certainly no Lovecraft (despite the incomprehensible manuscript that drives people insane.)

Offline Isobel

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #116 on: July 12, 2012, 11:01:35 AM »
Oh cool.  It's always been a bad sign for me, but maybe I've spent too long on sites where present tense means the author has a reading age of 6  ;D


Anyway I'm gonna try to see, if my unlucky 1p seller actually emails it to me, what the appeal is.  I do think despite the fanfic and promotion aspects there has to be something in the writing itself.


I have an idea my own writing lacks a bit of emotional pull somehow, so I'm hoping to spot something.  And given Shades' massive faults, if there is something right with it it has to be pretty powerful.

Offline Rolo

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #117 on: July 12, 2012, 11:43:05 AM »
I have an idea of the success of the books.  Ms. James has brought erotica into the mainstream.  It is sort of a "Cool Kids" effect.  Now if a suburban house wife is caught with a copy of 50SOG at a PTA meeting it is a source of discussion rather than disgust.  She has opened the door to reading erotica socially acceptable.  Where I live there is a large concentration of LDS.  Every woman I know that is reading it, with the exception of my wife, are of the LDS faith. 

I agree that the writing is poorly done and that is from someone that aspires to be a novice writer one day.  I have read multiple authors on this site that are far superior to Ms. James, but look at it this way.  The door is open!  For all of those that have thought, 'I can do it better', here is your chance.  That is the faint sound of opportunity knocking.  Look at the success of vampires because of Twilight.  Every network and publisher were racing to saturate the market with vampires.  Expect a flood of socially acceptable erotica to follow....

A side note:  Has anyone considered, given the nature of 50 Shades, that Ms. James could be a member of E?

Offline Silverfyre

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #118 on: July 12, 2012, 11:53:37 AM »
Eh, just because she writes erotica (and terribly at that) doesn't mean she is on E.  It's a possibility but a remote one just based on population and how many members we have here.

Offline Oniya

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Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #119 on: July 12, 2012, 12:09:31 PM »
I'd suspect AFF first.

Offline echoes

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #120 on: July 12, 2012, 02:25:51 PM »
Disclaimer - Don't ask me why I wrote this. I don't remember, but it kinda fits, so I am leaving it here so this moment of dementia can be shared with everyone. You are welcome. No persons were harmed in the making of this rant. This rant is intended solely for my amusement, but I am willing to share. You do not need to read this rant, it will not be offended if you don't. It will not go to the corner, cry and listen to Hawthorne Heights... and if it tries, I swear to gods I will put it out of its misery right then and there. These thoughts, these views, these comments are my own and are known to cause 1d10 sanity loss per minute spent reading them.
You have been warned.

Foul Language and obscene mental images  to appear in : 5...4....3...2...

I'm so Fet I nut latex and cry wax

I Warned you!

And now, now that you have removed the palm that you just applied to your face, and don't think I didn't see you do it, but now that it has been removed, please... read on, it only gets better.

Have you noticed the recent upswing of BDSM as "cool." I mean, it's no longer just the epic boots, catwoman costumes at Halloween, riding crops and bullwhips with Fetish Ren-fest cosplay getup. No, I mean that BDSM is out there, it's hip, its trendy. Never mind the secret plot to the continued the kinky evolution until we create the ubermensch dom/me and sub combo that comes with fries and that will lead us to our leather encased Valhalla where the whips will sing the songs of our people to the chorus of pain laden cries of joy?

Am I the only one who has this as a reoccurring fantasy? No really... I'm the only one aren't I? Again? Fuck.

No really, 50 shades is out there, sold everywhere, hell, i think even Walmart let the book ride on the same truck as some of their goods. Kink is the new pink, and it comes in a Katy Perry-esque pixie pill form that suburban America has bought in. Hell, Suburbia has swallowed this shit with the skill and gusto of a  $10 dollar Thai hooker.

Ok, time to be semi-serious. BDSM is supposed to be an individualistic experience that is then shared with one or more people with ideas that are congruent with your own. It begins, in theory, with something you yourself choose to partake in, to explore, to grow into. You may have had a mentor, a teacher, a con artist or a liar plant the seed, or "help" you initially. And yeah, I added in a con and a liar there because not everyone happily arrives at Kinky-U when they decide to get their fetish on. A lot of people, who love the lifestyle now, came through some dark ass alleys to get here, so we are gonna keep this as honest as we can. Cool?

Anyhow, you decide to partake in this life. Now, for the majority out there, it starts really young, come on now, be honest, you know the same story almost everyone has. It starts with silk scarves or play handcuffs with one of your first partners. Almost everyone has that story, most everyone can go, " Oh shit, I forgot that. That totally was bondage and I didn't know it." I also know there is a good sized group who will act and svelte and shit and be, " Of course I knew what I was doing, I was popped out doing Shibari with my umbilical cord." ( You will NEVER get that image out of your head now.)

Guess what, I digressed again, back on topic.

As you get older you get to experience your kinks, your evolution, your delectable debauched delving into the lifestyle(s) you want to practice, perfect, and perform. You make some mistakes along the way, you find out there is some stuff that you have no interest in what so ever. Then again, you also find some play that gets your motor running just by saying the words. Your education is ongoing, growing, never ending. Maybe you haven't been able to be as open with your friends, or your family, as you have wanted to be. Perhaps they would not understand if you wanted to attend the next holiday in your favorite latex cat suit. Perhaps they would ask where you got it, and then would scar your mind forever as they suggest one of them get that suit. There is a lot of danger here, quite a bit of secrecy, talking about sex is hard enough at times with certain people, so kink is even more difficult.

Then a book gets published, and suddenly out of the woodwork these people start to appear. They are kinky, they are open about it, they are hipsters jumping someone else's train ( that line is for someone who goes googoo for gaga for the Cure, but it is still accurate.) And for the first time, you feel a little revulsion for the scene that is not part of the normal ebb and flow of your life. I mean, sure, you might have been disgusted by others, but you knew them somehow, you knew of them, and you knew what you didn't like. This new wave of "kinksters" you don't even know, and yet you want to burn them with fire, and I don't mean with a hot cupping scene, it is like they are oddly threatening in some ways. There is this anger, there is this disdain, and we get torn. Part of the society wants to educate them, another wants them to go away, some want to traumatize them ( gogo team sadists,) and then part of them just get so worked up that They want to reenact the "Hannover Fist" speech from heavy metal ( i'ts on youtube, go look it up.)

This new batch is dangerous to you, for some reason, Perhaps you are worried it will give the scene a bad rep, a bad name. Look, let's be honest, we don't need the help to get a bum deal and these fuckers are not going to change that. We do shit in basements that the inquisition used to dungeons and we call it fun. Some people are not going to get it no matter how you try and lay it out. Don't sweat the small stuff, and the reputation, that is the small stuff right now.

However, this is a line from my favorite series... you might have heard it, " This has all happened before..." ( the cool people will finish the line.) Anyways, it has happened before. Travel back to a more innocent time, a time of aquanet, 1st wave BritPop, Spandex and excessive uses of Peruvian Marching dust... yes, we are in the 80's, 1985 to be exact. "Exit to Eden", good old Anne Rice when she was not writing slashfic... Errr, I mean the Beauty series, popped this little nugget out and the scene survived. Hell it was mutilated and turned into a terrible... I mean really fucking bad ... film in the ninties. That aside, same thing happened then that is happening now. The media makes a big deal out of it. WHOOOOO NAKIE PEEPOS AND LEATHURS YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!. And people want to be cool so they start saying how they are into kink, because it is the new pink, which was the previously new red, which was ( list continues to your heart's desire.) It will pass, and those who are there for the trend will move on, much like locusts.

But... but before you cast a sentence on all of them. Realize how influenced this society has become because of the writings of people. de Sade did not teach classes or hold munches. Sacher-Masoch didn't exactly give you a 101 class. And Reage created a character and a setting that has been rather influential in how a lot of people who are very into the lifestyle, act and portray themselves. So... how many people here got brought in because of something that they saw, that the spent the afternoon reading about? More than one is my guess.

So what is the point of the rant. Don't worry about the book, do as you have always done before, watch the people. Some, you will keep, meebe even in chains if you are into that, some will be gone tomorrow. There will be the hipsters, the trendies, you can spot them pretty damn easy so don't worry about them. You will find those who actually have a calling to the life, the scene, welcome them, help them out, let them find out more about themselves. You will have the predators, the evil that is humanity, deal with them as any responsible person or group would, do not let them find a home. But if there is one thing you do not want to do, don't continue to fan the flames of sensationalism. That is how Twilight still survives, and friends don't let friends help Twilight to survive.

Just Saying

Keep it swinging, more to come later.

-e-

Offline jaybee55

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #121 on: July 12, 2012, 02:37:25 PM »
After following this thread for a while I couldn't resist.  I got a copy of the thing.  And before you ask, no, I didn't pay for it; ePubs and PDFs are easily available via Pirate Bay.  So, a few thoughts I had while reading volume 1...

1. (Having just unpacked the download) Holy crap, this thing is a trilogy!.

2. (A few chapters in) I'm really getting irritated listening to this tiresome chick's internal monologue.  Seriously, she talks to herself ALL THE TIME.  It's really the worst sort of expository trick, like hearing a constant voice-over during a movie.  Oh yeah, I'm also bored.

3. What is the obsession with Tess of the d'Urbervilles?  On the other hand who but Hardy would have the guts to name a character Boldwood *snicker* (i.e. Far from the Madding Crowd).  Maybe she was thinking about that.  Or maybe she envies Hardy's prose style.  I know I do... and she should if she doesn't.

4. Wait.  I've seen these two female characters (Ana and Kate) before.  Oh yeah!  It's Riff and Kate from Rock 'n' Roll High School .  But where are The Ramones?  Are they all dead?  I think so, but I'm not sure.  Let me check wikipedia.  Maybe they're more like Alison and Emily from Havoc.  What was the name of that blond actress?  Hmm... time to take a look at IMDB.  ...Mind Wandering...

5. Most inane oft-repeated self dialog so far in the book: "I need to do the safe sex lecture."  Is it really necessary to repeat that every time some sort of chemistry is being inflicted on the characters.  Actually it probably is since they're cardboard cutouts, and therefore not really capable of sex.

6. Hey!  Was that a Batman reference in that bit of inane dialog between Ana and Christian?  At least that might liven things up a bit.
     "Which medieval chronicle did you escape from?" I giggle. "You sound like a courtly knight."
His mood visibly shifts. His eyes soften and his expression warms, and I see a trace of a smile on his beautifully chiseled lips.
    “Anastasia, I don’t think so. Dark knight maybe.”

I guess not, though, because the 'k' in knight would be capitalized.

7. Geez... I'm 50 pages in and bored silly.  Isn't there any sex in this thing?  (virtually flipping pages quickly looking for smutty words).

8. Page 76.  A list of dom/sub rules.  Are we finally getting somewhere?

9. Flipping back to see if I missed anything I find a bunch of crap about how Grey is all obsessed with Ana but won't touch her... yada yada... the same theme that was beaten to death in Twilight.  But I figure this is the real draw here, right?  Powerful, virile, gorgeous man obsessed with ordinary everyday gal.  I can just imagine all those ordinary everyday housewives out there - the ones who haven't bothered to read actual literature where this sort of thing has been covered with much more depth and finesse - just eating it up as they fantasize about cheating on their ordinary everyday husbands.

10. Alright.  Finally, some smut (don't worry, I'll censor this appropriately)...

I’m lying on his bed dressed only in my bra and panties, and he’s staring down at me.
     “You’re very beautiful, Anastasia Steele. I can’t wait to be inside you.”
     Holy shit. His words. He’s so seductive. He takes my breath away.
     “Show me how you pleasure yourself.”
     What? I frown.
     “Don’t be coy, Ana, show me,” he whispers.
     I shake my head.
     “I don’t know what you mean.” My voice is hoarse. I hardly recognize it, laced with desire.
     “How do you make yourself come? I want to see.”
     I shake my head.
     “I don’t,” I mumble.


Trust me, it only gets worse from there.  He makes her "shatter into a thousand pieces" by only doing things above the waist, then scolds her, telling her she'll have to learn to control that better.  Later he does something more standard, below the waist, at which time she "splinters into a million pieces".  A few minutes later he does things a different way, but I guess it's not as good because this time she only "calls out a garbled version of his name into the mattress".  Um.  Ok.  Sure.  But it read much like something written in a IM-based roleplay.  You know, the kind where you don't really have a chance to think, much less construct good prose?

Plus he's started to call her "Baby".  Pet peeve of mine... personally I don't want to have sex with someone I feel compelled to call baby.  But that's just me.

11.  Another 50 pages.  I'm still being forced to hear every inane thought that Ana has in the continuous voice-over.  Various things happen, and the way they're written I'm obviously supposed to think they're dramatic.  But I couldn't care less.  I'm bored.  That's it for me.

So I only made it 1/3 of the way through.

My conclusion: The prose isn't quite as bad as a lot of people have said, although it reads more like a teleplay - with way too much voice-over - than a novel.  Or like a comic book script maybe (Archie with smut?).  I've read much better here on E, but also much worse.  I can certainly understand the appeal this has to less... er... worldly women (see thought #9).  In fact there are two built-in target audiences: 1) Teenagers who read and liked Twilight - who are now young women and want something more explicit, and 2) Bored and lonely older women who wouldn't be caught dead looking for, much less reading, erotica - because somehow this has been labeled as "acceptable".

All of this is just my personal opinion, of course.
« Last Edit: July 12, 2012, 02:45:32 PM by jaybee55 »

Offline Isobel

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #122 on: July 12, 2012, 02:58:18 PM »
I have an idea of the success of the books.  Ms. James has brought erotica into the mainstream.  It is sort of a "Cool Kids" effect.  Now if a suburban house wife is caught with a copy of 50SOG at a PTA meeting it is a source of discussion rather than disgust.  She has opened the door to reading erotica socially acceptable.  Where I live there is a large concentration of LDS.  Every woman I know that is reading it, with the exception of my wife, are of the LDS faith. 

I agree that the writing is poorly done and that is from someone that aspires to be a novice writer one day.  I have read multiple authors on this site that are far superior to Ms. James, but look at it this way.  The door is open!  For all of those that have thought, 'I can do it better', here is your chance.  That is the faint sound of opportunity knocking.  Look at the success of vampires because of Twilight.  Every network and publisher were racing to saturate the market with vampires.  Expect a flood of socially acceptable erotica to follow....

A side note:  Has anyone considered, given the nature of 50 Shades, that Ms. James could be a member of E?
Yeah I agree it's helped make erotica acceptable, but that seems to be relatively recent, after it got traction.  Well, it's one thing.  I'm still thinking there has to be something in the writing to get it off the ground to start with.


Yeah the door IS open.  Though I did read there are 900 stories/books a day being self-published!


A member?  Well she wrote 3 books so I don't think she'd wasted as much time on here as me!  ;D

Offline Lilias

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #123 on: July 12, 2012, 04:17:51 PM »
A side note:  Has anyone considered, given the nature of 50 Shades, that Ms. James could be a member of E?

Eh. Not like she'd admit it now... ;)

Offline Water Lilly

Re: Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James
« Reply #124 on: July 12, 2012, 07:30:07 PM »
Oh. My. God. Will the madness never end? I've just heard via Rolo that a sex toy party company has brought out a new line of toys. Care to guess what they're called??

 "Shade of Grey Toys"

What the?!?